Following is a list of things that typically annoy me on any given day - not necessarily in any order, and definitely not a complete list.
1. To you who have lengthy conversations on your phone while you're driving - guess what? No, you're NOT that one special person who drives "well" while happying to your little boyfriend/girlfriend while driving. Actually...you suck. You can't choose a lane, and/or you sit in the left lane going too fucking slow. And would you try looking to your left while pulling out of a parking spot?
Recommendation: Shove the cell phone up your fucking ass.
2. When people are merging onto the highway, the action should be such as that of a zipper. Person on left - leave space for person on right...person on right...pull to left....next person on left - leave space for next person on right....rinse...repeat.
3. That said, if you are second in line and someone's letting the person in front of you into a turn or a merge, hang back for your turn, dickhead.
4. We don't need to have actual driving tests to determine someone's ability to operate machinery in a crowded area. Just watch the person push a shopping cart through a grocery store. If the asshole turns left out of an aisle without looking to the right, or can't comprehend the general flow of traffic, then the person should not have the opportunity to operate a vehicle that ways 1+ tons.
5. If you have 25 items at the store and someone walks up with one, let him/her go in front of you. Your beer will wait, asshole.
6. Offer someone your chair. Even if it's not an old and/or pregnant person.
7. I understand that you forgot to get a napkin earlier when you were in the line. You are no longer in the line. So go to the BACK of the line, biznitch.
8. Okay...so you're at the store (any store) and after the clerk informs you of how much money you owe, you THEN pull out your purse/wallet?? Are you surprised that this STORE that SELLS things wants some form of MONEY for their items? Is this a shock? Why don't you try pulling out whatever container you have that holds your money and credit cards BEFORE they ask for the money. Yeah - those 10 seconds are that important. But instead I have to stand there while you act surprised that you have to pay money. OH...okay...hold on....wallet...where's that money? Oh, there it is. Oh wait, I have a change purse. Let's see. Oh, there it is. 1.....2......3......4.....where was I? BITCH!

