Having a hard time going to work...
Ive been having a really hard time going to work lately. It's not the usual: Blah, Im feeling lazy or Meh, I cant be bothered kind of thing, I get really really stressed when I think of the idea of going to work.
Like the other day I had to swing by the club to pickup my paycheck (yes, we have monthly salaries here) and I had a panic attack. :( I was shaking and breathing frantically for the rest of the evening, and when I came home I clung to my boyfriend for the life of me.
I havent talked to anyone about this, my boyfriend knows that Im uncomfortable about going but not that its on this scale. Has any one of you gone through this kind of stuff? Any advices how I can cope with this? (and no, I cant change clubs)
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
aw, i know what u mean.
i dont get panic attacks, but sometimes when i KNOW i have to go to work that day or the next day, all i do is think about it - and dread it - big time.
what i try to do, is jsut dont think about work at all, until its like half hour until i gotta go. thinking too much about work discourages me....
i try to keep my life and work life seperate. sometimes its hard to not think about some weirdo i met or something, but im not 'myself' at work, so i dont think about it at all.
maybe your just nervous? sometimes i get nervous when i go to work, i start shaking and breathing weird. it just takes a bit to get "in the groove" of everything, and switching over to my "stripper self". i usually smoke a few cigs to calm down(bad idea), it helped. but, i been cutting down so i try to jsut calm down on my own.
well hope everything goes well for u!
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
i hate to say this, but maybe this job isn't for you anymore. or maybe you need an extended vacation. not everyone is cut out for this kind of work, and if you are having an adverse reaction like *that* over going to work, i think something is seriously wrong.
i oughta ask, tho, have you had something horrific or traumatic happen at work? because maybe if that's a yes, you just need to work through that incident with someone liek a therapist or counselor or close friend.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
Nothing traumatic, no. But everyone is really grabby and all over you. I once wrestled a very big man out of the private show booth.
Now, Im good at fending these kind of guys off, but what really churns in my brain is my boyfriend. I watch out not to think about him while Im at work, but afterwards its really difficult on me because I am insanely loyal to him. I almost feel like Im cheating.
I know this might be too much for me, but then again, working 12 hours a day and still not cutting it is too much for me. So instead of bailing Im trying to work my way around the problem.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
Well, if I were having panic attacks just for going to pick up my paycheck, I would take that as a sign the job is not for me and quit NOW.
I doubt you have those panic attacks over a regular job. Choose the one that does NOT cause panic attacks!!! Your health and sanity are worth more than money or the ability to be a lazy stripper.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
I am going to catch hell over this but.....DONT THINK !!!! Just do ....You are psyching yourself out.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
^^^ You know, you might be right. The days that I think I should go to work I just concentrate to much on the idea of going to work.
I might be beating myself up on the inside. I should relax when I relax and work when I work, right?
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
You have to focus on the money. Remember it's just a job! Think about the things you will be able to take care of with the $$ you make. For heavens sake don't think of your relationship while at work! Your mans not giving you a hard time about it is he?
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
Sometimes I get like this, when I think about all the dirty whores and stuff. But then I try to think about the girls that are nice and trying to keep the club clean. When I just go, get in my car and get on the turnpike there's not turning back then. Maybe you can just keep yourself super busy before leaving for work then you won't think about it.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Chrissy68
i hate to say this, but maybe this job isn't for you anymore. or maybe you need an extended vacation.
I agree. I did what I could to avoid burn out, took time off every three-four months and cut down my hours. Well, I never got burned out but over the past year I just knew I just didn't want to do it anymore. I decided to leave before I became bitter.
I'm the kind of person who'll beat a dead horse. I'll cling onto a job until I can't stand it anymore and the thought of walking into my work makes me physically ill. Sounds like you got to that point.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
im not going to full on agree with everyone that says this isnt for you anymore. I just went through this same shit for 2 fucking weeks. I couldnt sleep because id start to have them or i'd start thinking about work and have one.
I was simply stressed out. I had hit my breaking point. Moneyhad been shitty so that was a factor my bf and I are on another level now and sometimes ,even though I work in a non contact club..i can tend to feel guilty over it. Because I rather be home with him.
I spent 4 days in bed. No phone , barely an internet. I slept and cried. At the end of it I went to work and did fine. I think sometimes you mentally need a break
everyone hits a point in their life where things are all coming at you, and you cant sort them all out. bringing on panic attacks.
I think its good to take time away. this could be your bodys way of telling you to take a vacation for awhile.
if you cant stand being touched on etc, i would focus on finding a new club
sometimes a change of enviroment can do wonders.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
I get this way as well. Where the thought of all thoes nasty guys makes my stomache turn. Where the idea of dancing naked, and flirting with sweaty, gross guys makes me want to puke.
I quit dancing, get a job as a cocktial waitress for a few months...and then I start missing dancing. I miss the money, I miss makign my own schedule, I miss not having to work full time. And the pros of dancing start outweighing the cons, and I want to dance again.
the first few months I'm back, I love it, life is great...and the cycle repeats itself. I can never dance for more than a year at a time it seems, before I need a break. The older i get, the harder it is to keep dancing. Im not a party girl anymore, i dont have as much fun at work, I dont really care to socialize and drink, and I dont get off on the attention anymore. I have to treat it more like a job, not a fun place i can hang out and make cash at the same time.
But yeah...maybe you just need a break. Quit for awhile, you may find you miss it. Maybe not. maybe its just time for a new line of work.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
I get panic attacks while dancing sometimes. It is the stress...but I agree with others who say, stress or no, this sort of thing doesn't happen with other jobs. Mind you, I did break down crying from stress a few times at my old job (but I worked in an animal emerg room, and people would get end-of-their-ropes all over the place).
Sometimes I want to quit dancing immediately. I work with grabby men too. Sometimes I will be in my car, or at home, and will have the feeling of phantom fingers trying to slying molest me, and I freak. It's awful. But...eh. I just try to work as much as I can, and when I gotta go, fuck the money, I go home. I don't know if you have that kind of freedom...
I get really frustrated with myself too, because I know if I was less sensitive than I am, I could be making a WHOLE lot more than I do. But I am what I am, and my sanity is not worth it. As it is, I've weighed the pros and cons, and for me right now, the hours and the money I do make are enough to keep me at it. But you got to take care of yourself first. What's the point of money if it's at the price of your happiness and well-being, you know?
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ms Angela
Nothing traumatic, no. But everyone is really grabby and all over you. I once wrestled a very big man out of the private show booth.
I absolutely understand your concern about money. But, please don't downplay how traumatic physical assault is. We stomach what legally is considered physical assault. No one has the right to put their hands on you. I don't give a f*ck what they are spending, how softly they sneakily touch you--it's still assault. I try to take time out every month so I don't go off and beat some guy. I slip every now and then and hit 'em on the sly. Sometimes I'm up two extra hours because I can't come down from nervousness. But, all in all you are not wrong to have this reaction. Don't keep reinjuring your mind and spirit. Take a break from their bullshit!
You can make a nice living from bartending in the local hot spot or a popular hotel. You can start in a matter of days. You're hot so they'll be happy to have you! They'll probably be happy to train you on the job.
Re: Having a hard time going to work...
^^^ I so fucking agree.
In the last month I've done a lot of thinking myself , in terms of "touch". It seems as though so many of us allow it even though we dont like it because its been beat into our brains that ..that it isnt a good dance unless someone is able to touch ass and tits.
The truth of the matter is, they have NO RIGHT to touch on you UNLESS YOU WANT THEM TO. And when i say want, I mean desire. not just " yah go ahead " so that you can make that 20 bucks easier.
People ( men ) get away with murder in stripclubs because women dont care to stick up for themselves. It sickens me to no end how women or men will allow themselves to be objectified for the sake of a fucking dollar.
I have always maintained that if you know what the hell you are doing, and know how to hustle you DONT have to touch. Nor do they. And i will argue that point till Im blue in the face.
I use to work at clubs that ranged from Just dick grinding to light grinding and a real dance ( plus boobs in the face etc ) aka normal boob bar. to now a no contact club
the reason I can say You dont have to do those things is because I dont do any of them, and its increased my earnings. I know a TON of girls in those other clubs that didnt do shit either even though people were doing that and a lot more. The reason being is that they were great hustlers. Meaning they didnt do anything they weren't wanting to do.
On the same note, we will always do shit no matter what the job actualy is that we dont really want to do. Not because it compromises us but because its not fun for us.
If anything "compromises" who you feel or your safety you should NEVER do it. Its that simple.
I gather not everyone is in a position in life where they be too choosey their job or what not, they can be choosey in how much they take.
I agree that this job is not for everyone. But more so that certain clubs aren't for everyone.
if where you are at allows more contact then what you are comfortable with, look into other clubs ., and even other cities.
never settle.