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I got a restraining order!
So I finally got a restraining order (temporary until feb. 1) against my crazy stalking/ verbally abusive and manipulative ex. Hooray! Yes, the same one from the "evil ex-boyfriend" thread a while ago, who crashed my motorcycle, who has registered on this site as 3 different names looking for me, who has come on another site as at least 3 diff. names stalking me, who calls me up to 13 times a day (I changed my # and he found it!) and sends alternately crazy, loving, and sexually harassing e-mails. NO MOre. For anyone looking to do this, I am happy to give advice- DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT... record, transcribe, and print out everything. you can have a million attachments with your written statement. I just hope I get the permanent R/O.
I know this much... he REEEally won't like having his guns taken away, (ex-marine with full gun-safe!) as this is also what an R/O mandates.... but when you point them around when drunk and bring them everywhere, including Orange County gyms on a regular basis... I have no pity.
Mods- you saw the IP address... if there is ever a search for my posts coming from there again, it's now illegal. And we can enforce it. Sa-WEET!
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Re: I got a restraining order!
congrats....i hope he obeys it!
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Embyr
I know this much... he REEEally won't like having his guns taken away, (ex-marine with full gun-safe!) as this is also what an R/O mandates.... but when you point them around when drunk and bring them everywhere, including Orange County gyms on a regular basis... I have no pity.
Perhaps things are different in CA, as might entirely be the case, but when I was the recipient of a RO (yes, I'm a bad ass ::)) I just couldn't be caught using a gun, but they aren't actually taken away.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
oh... hmm... yeah here in cali you must produce a receipt for the judge proving you've sold or otherwise done away w/ firearms.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Well, congratulations, but don't expect it to really keep him away from you. Restraining orders are primarily useful for obtaining murder convictions after the fact. Don't rely on it for protection; if you're really worried about your safety, get a legal handgun and learn how to use it.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
keep away from me? not that worried... i hope... what I AM interested in is No ConTact... as in- if he tries to call me a million times a day (or even once) I now have the power to show 1 "missed call" to the cops, and he can be arrested. seeing him in handcuffs again would be very satisfying- not to mention the fact that he scares the shit out of me. he is too well trained in guns for me to rely on one- 20+ years of experience- i'm sure he'd be able to take it away from me if that is what it came down to... however, I am severely hoping that won't happen. You do make a good point, though... and I may indeed look into it. A few of the girls from my club suggested the same thing.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
A few very large red flags go up when I read this - Marine - Stalker - Gun Safe ( nothing wrong with the military and guns except when you throw stalker into the mix ) ! You really need to get away from a guy like this I mean leave the state ! I know you are doing everything within the law but I just get a bad feeling about this .
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Re: I got a restraining order!
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CuriousJ
A few very large red flags go up when I read this - Marine - Stalker - Gun Safe ( nothing wrong with the military and guns except when you throw stalker into the mix ) ! You really need to get away from a guy like this I mean leave the state ! I know you are doing everything within the law but I just get a bad feeling about this .
haha yeah i know- i am moving feb. 1st to a new place he won't know.... and in sept. i am going back to chicago. he's reading this entire thread, somehow, but he's well aware of all this information and i'm extraordinarily careful to divulge anything- the man is more resourceful than anyone i've ever ment and has more contacts than i'll ever be aware of. i'm just glad i work in an environment with bouncers.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Embyr
S
I know this much... he REEEally won't like having his guns taken away, (ex-marine with full gun-safe!) as this is also what an R/O mandates.... but when you point them around when drunk and bring them everywhere, including Orange County gyms on a regular basis... I have no pity.
Thats what Storage units in Nevada are for. I am not in favor of crazy people having guns, however, I am also not in favor of penalizing someone before they have commited a crime.
I don't recall reading your other thread. Did your Ex assault you? Point one a loaded weapon at you?
Becareful about voting for a Law that tramples someones Rights for your Comfort! yours may be next!
Dear Senator Lautenberg,
Please Rot in Hell.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ArmySGT.
Thats what Storage units in Nevada are for. I am not in favor of crazy people having guns, however, I am also not in favor of penalizing someone before they have commited a crime.
Umm, it's a stipulation of the R/O to remove all firearms, it wasn't MY idea. I needed the R/O BADLY to stop the stalking, the harassment, the slander, the breaking in through the back door of my apt. complex and pounding on my door drunk, the finding out of my new number, the failure to listen to cops that told him to stop contacting me, the calling 10 times each night til 5 in the morning and making it impossible for me to sleep, concentrate, playing pscyhological headgames, etc. Shall I add to the list?? Yes, I have seen him use weapons innappropriately, no, I have not been assaulted, but again, I was not going to NOT get the R/O just because of the firearms stipulation.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
I am just not in favor of Stalking Laws. Redundant. Everything else you listed was already a crime, well Slander is a tough one unless recorded somehow. Glad you got it but, *shrugs* a piece of paper is not going to keep you safe.
Stalking wouldn't even be a crime if Fans didn't kill Hollwierd actresses. Lets face it being folowed around is just annoying. Slander you have to prove that false statements have caused damages (business or financial; courts like life don't care about your self esteem) to you. Breaking into your Aprtment complex..... Yep that gets the crazy clause now did the Owner call the Police and have him charged with Breaking and Entering? Did you summon the Police and have him charged with Disturbing the Peace? Finding your new number..... if it is not listed a friend or family member gave it to him, have a talk with those. Calls you all the time so you can't sleep? Turn off the cell phone and unplug the telephone. If your not a Doctor or someone that has to be on call twenty four hours a day just shut them of.
So lets see, Breaking and Entering, Check, Drunk and Disorderly, Check, Disturbing the Peace, Check. Those are crimes, yep, just minor ones. B&E is a misdemeanor someplaces.
I don't have a problem with you getting a restraining Order to get your batshit crazy Ex to leave you alone. It is the State taking away someones property without Due Process that I have a problem with.
Why did I ask if you had been assaulted? Threatened with a weapon? Thats when the State should step in. The Subject that commited the Assualt should be detained until Trial. The coulda , woulda, shoulds argument for the removal of firearms is just wrong. Part of the slippery slope that is decnding us into Fascism.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Have you read the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker? You should get and read it.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
For information purposes, you can download a program called BitPim for your cell phone. It works with most phones and will connect to your phone via a USB cable or Bluetooth I believe. The cables are easily found on eBay for around $10 or so, and the program itself is free.
It will let you back up your entire phone. Calls in and out, Text Messages, the works.
That is another means of documenting anything coming to your phone.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
A friend of mine is getting a restraining order...I think it's terrible they're so expensive...Someone said, "It's easier for the government to let poor people kill eachother off..."
I suggest you get a big, mean, LOUD dog. Trained guard dogs can be purchased for around $1,000.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Whoa! Be CAREFUL! Hopefully he'll obey it (or won't do anything terrible if he doesn't).
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Re: I got a restraining order!
If he has registered here before, do you think that it was wise to mention when you were moving or where you are then moving?
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
madmaxine
A friend of mine is getting a restraining order...I think it's terrible they're so expensive...Someone said, "It's easier for the government to let poor people kill eachother off..."
Mine was FREE! yay! I went in with 200 bucks (i'd read somewhere it was 150...) turns out California has an excellent domestic violence r/o program... and if you can prove violence or the threat thereof (and yes, stalking is on the official list, as well as other offenses) you get it for free. i wish every state had this. some places will do fee waivers or fee assistance if she goes through a shelter....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kryssy
If he has registered here before, do you think that it was wise to mention when you were moving or where you are then moving?
he already knows i'm moving, from when we were seeing each other. as mentioned above, i am not divulging any new PERtinent or PERsonal information online. He will not know my new address (then again I don't have an apt. yet, so neither do I!), and it honestly doesn't matter to me if he has my new phone number- just another temptation for him to get arrested if he calls it after he gets served (which I suspect will be monday). :D
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Re: I got a restraining order!
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Originally Posted by
Pan Dah
Just wondering, how does the RO work interstate? Will you need to get a new one when you move to Chicago? Can it be sort of automatically transferred, or do you need to present all your proof again?
funny you mentioned that- i have been wondering the same thing myself! I know it is good anywhere in cali, but once i am out of state.... *bRRrrrrrring....*
I know the shelf life on an R/O is at least 3 years.... in which case I will see if it just "transfers" (like a DL or something) with the presentation of the copy of original materials. I need to find out, but I have some time before september.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Illinois is very strict when it comes to that type of abuise from husbands, ex husbands, or old boyfriends. I think you should be find, but it wont hurt to do some looking into things now.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
I second the need for some other kind of defense. if you arent comfortable with a gun, a dog is a good option if you are able to take care of it...the mere presence of a large animal is often enough to deter stalkers...and if that is not an option, PLEASE do not stay at your home alone until you move...I may sound paranoid, but I'd rather be the paranoid chick then have to post grief messages if something happens to you. Have a friend/relative/whatever come stay until you move.
As for the person saying "stalking is just annoying"...you obviously have never been stalked. It's not a minor inconvenience...it can permanently ruin someone's life. Having to always look behind you, being afraid to check yourphone messages, fanatically checking all the doors are locked, but still not being able to sleep easy at night from the fear that soemone will break in? It can quite literally drive a person insane.
If someone is deranged enough to stalk someone online, post comments here and elsewhere, send harassing emails continuously, and call throughout the night despite police warnings, they are certainly capable of doing even more deranged things, including violence against the OP. Throw in the fact that he has guns, I think there is every right to have them taken away. A reasonable person would have moved on...not call the OP dozens of times a day and post rambling comments here...obviously this guy is NOT a reasonable person.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Embyr, he should take the hint, did you notify him this is in action? and to stop contacting you? good luck girl... In the past these haven't done jack!!! from experience.
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Cyndi69
Embyr, he should take the hint, did you notify him this is in action? and to stop contacting you? good luck girl... In the past these haven't done jack!!! from experience.
i think he will be served on monday.... which is awful because the idiot is STILL calling me until 4 am and sending me sexually explicit e-mails with delusions of "love you, sorry, never meant any harm, hope we can still ride someday"- but i'd rather that because it gives me more ammo to keep a phone log & e-mail log of him knowingly contacting me after being notified of my intent to get an R/O on thursday. (you have to inform them the day you get the temp.) cyndi- excuse me being blunt- he has followed me on SW- i have never seen you here before- plus it is odd to see a woman in SoCal with his ex's exact name, the number's 69 that he always picks in his stalker's names, (pervy and nicky hayden's race number), and "motorcycles, art, music" in your bio.... as if you are copying me???? sorry- a bit wary right now. care to explain>>>>> or are you REALLLLY another female so-cal rider who happens to have the same name as his ex and be into all my interests?????
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Re: I got a restraining order!
Well, do you recognize her pic at all? I mean, I know she could have stole one....?
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Re: I got a restraining order!
honestly it looks exactly like his ex-wife.... of whom he has a million pictures.... he was very fond of pictures... i had four e-mailed to me today (sick man.) he's never bothered to get an avatar on here before but who knows, he might have stepped up his stalking game. it's CERTAINLY been known to happen. I'd be very interested to see what the IP addy is, and if it matches Mercenary69, Placebo69, orZed69. i am so sick of weeding him out of honest new members.... i am only on 2 forums and the admin on the other forum (a motorcycle forum) says he's already lost track of him amongst the over 3 new SN's he's used to register with.... jesus freakin' christ.