Does anyone who strips have a family? a kid, a husband, etc? How does that work? How does it effect your kids/hubby. I am considering trying it out...But not sure how that would work.
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Does anyone who strips have a family? a kid, a husband, etc? How does that work? How does it effect your kids/hubby. I am considering trying it out...But not sure how that would work.
I think most of us have families. I'm not sure I understand your question about "How does that work?" Could you clarify?
It's all personal...depends on you, depends on them....
I am married....and I have a very healthy strong marriage.
Other than that...I'm not sure what you are looking for.
No. We are all sterile and unmarried.
I kid, I kid. What are your concerns and questions? Strippers are like anyone else and many have children and spouses. It works just fine though everyone has their own way to deal with whatever issues pop up (weird hours, childcare). I don't have them myself since I just have a husband who cleans, feeds, and entertains himself, but plenty of the women on SW have kids and get along quite well.
How do you explain to your kids what you do for a job? How do you help them deal with the school kids judging them, and you. How do you deal with parents?
My daughter is only 1, but if I decided to do this long term I dont think I would lie to her. I wouldnt devulge in details, but I would just say that I'm an entertainer/dancer and leave it at that. How do you deal with what parents? From your kids school? I dont know, I wouldnt go around throwing it in their faces. While my daughter doesnt go to school yet, she does attend gymboree classes twice a week and there is always the small talk ("so what do you do?") and I will just say that I'm a homemaker. I really dont think it's anyones business what you do if you're not comfortable with it. I just dont want a bunch of other people at an infant and toddler class judging my daughter for something that I choose to do.
What I dont understand with your question is why would your kids friends know what you do? Unless if you have a pole installed on your front lawn, most people wouldnt be able to tell you're a dancer.
As for the husband part, mine personally doesnt mind. The way he put it, as long as I'm not exchanging dna with customers and nothing flesh/flesh then hes all for it. He did ask me before that if he felt that I was changing for the worse that I quit. I dont need to work right now and he does pay my bills so it's not that big of a deal to quit, I just like having extra money to pay. It's like any other job in my opinion. People dont go around proclaiming they're the bagger from Vons so why would someone do that with dancing, kwim?
You should be fine with kids and a husband. No need to get into details at first, tell the kids you're a waitress/bartender/etc.
I have two childern both under school age. they know i take a bag to work and have played with the stuff that i have discarded. mommy works at night thats all they have need to know. childern will ask more questions when they need to know things. i never answer and question in deeper depth then they have asked. oh and i am married happily and we still talk about everything including work mine and his.
It is not nessessary to share with your children what you do for a living. A simple answer of 'Mommy works in a bar' should suffice. If they ask to come to work with you, you can say honestly that it is illegal for children to go to bars. Everyone who goes to a bar must be at least 21 years old.
Most dancers not only have stage names while at work but have fake occupations while in the 'civilian' world. I tell people that I am an Amway salesperson}:D. Generally, they will never ask me again about my 'job';).
For sure, the teachers and other parents at my stepson's school don't know what I do for a lving. My stepson's friends have no clue either. My stepson knows I'm a "Showgirl" but doesn't really know what that means, and he doesn't really want to find out, either.
Kids don't want or need to know everything about their parent's private lives. Would you describe your sex life to your kids? Then put exotic dancing in the catergory of "sex life" and leave it out of polite conversation.
Outside of my "stripper life" I have the completely normal family life. I am married and have a 5 year old son. My husband knows what I do and is completely supportive of me. As long as nothing ever crossed the line beyond my "job responsiblities" he's okay. He's been in strip clubs, but he won't go in mine if I'm working. I tell him about my job, as he tells me about his job. As in any job I try to leave work at work and deal with home at home. Simple as that.
My son is 5 and honestly too young to know what I do. All he knows is that mommy works in a bar and he's seen my bag, and I just tell him those things are part of my work uniform. He knows bars are "where people drink beer" and kids don't go there. If he were to ever ask about things I would be honest with him. I'm honest with him about everything.
If his friends knew...oh well. Honestly, I could care less what his friends' parents do in their personal life, so it's really nobody's business what I do in mine. If another child somehow found out, but not very likely, I'd discuss the situation with my son honestly. As for parents...I'm already pushing for a spot on the Harper Valley PTA so to speak. Many of the parents at his school are narrow minded, and feel that once you hit 30 you need to stop living, having fun. My feeling is that if you've got it, flaunt it! I think my son would be proud that he has a "hot" mom and would never be ashamed of me or what I do.
When I brought up the idea my husband just said "no." After A while, I wore him down by explaining the benefits and making him realize that all the money I make just comes back to our family. (Im 21, he's 22, just had a baby boy June 2006) I've always had guys staring at me and making lewd comments, I figure, Why not get paid for being beautiful, flexable and smart ? Ultimately, I think he knows that I will always make sure my son and I are happy and healthy before anything else. I can totally take myself out of my "work world" and come back to be plain lil southern girl who happens to be in Palm Beach. lol. Make YOU happy. ;D
I have a husband and a 9 yr old son. Dancing was my husband's idea, and he has been very supportive. On a Friday or Saturday when I got to bed at 5 am he makes sure he keeps our son quiet in the morning (he's quite rambunctious) and entertained so I can sleep until 1 or 2. If he wasn't 100% on board with this my life would be so much more difficult. My son does not know what I do, and if I have my way he never will. During the week he goes to bed at 9, and I just leave after I put him to bed, so he never knows I left. On the weekends he's often sleeping over a cousin's house at least one day, so doesn't know then either. When he is home I just tell him I'm out with friends. I've only been doing this for about 6 wks, so this is working so far, but eventually I'll probably have to tell him I'm a waitress or bartender or something. In some ways doing this has given me more time with our son because I'm always home to get him off the bus now. There have been times when I missed out on some family time on a fri or sat because I had to go to work, but over all I think it's working out pretty well.
It is so awesome to hear from you guys! I honestly had a stereotype of "strippers" that I would rather not restate. You guys are just normal girls and women like me! I really like the "Amway" one. LOL
I guess I just figured that someone somewhere would come in to the club at some point, and the secret is out. (Remember Varsity Blues when the kids walked in on the teacher stripping?) I am trying to decide if this is a good job for me, or honestly if I just have a sexual fantasy. I am trying to picture dancing for other men....unattractive men....And thinking "I wonder if I could do that?" **still thinking**
Thanks mommys!
Oh, and in addition, how much money can you make doing this? (Without fake boobs, cause I don't currently have those. Not yet anyway.)
So, it actually works out pretty well, as you can see. The most common excuse is "I bartend at night", that does it pretty well. It is possible for someone to walk in, but don't work a half of a mile from your house. Give yourself 30-45 minutes travel time, you will be far enough away, and the money will cover the little extra drive. Money all depends on where you work (and honestly, most dancers are not augmented, so I wouldn't worry about that). Check out a couple clubs and talk to the girls, ask them about earning potentials.
Exactly....my money didnt really change after I had my boobs done(I had them done for ME...not work BTW!). Maybe a BIT more, just because I was more confident.....but not enough to make a huge differance.
The money all depends on where you are, when time of year it is, and how goo dyour hustle is. You can expect to make anywhere from $0-$2000 a night.....
Yeah I don't have fake boobs...
Anyway....Strippers are normal like everyone else. But don't tell your kids, unless you want them sharing with their teachers and classmates what you do for a living. Tell them when you're older. You do a lot of things you don't tell your kids about, right? I mean, not to be graphic or nasty, but you wouldn't tell your kids about the details of your sex life.. consider this the same thing
:)
Good luck to you
My husband and I have never had a problem over me dancing. I danced when I met him, so it wasn't out of the blue when I went back after taking a couple of years off. We have a really honest relationship, I tell him everything and he does the same. My son is only 3 (and I have been off for a while due to being pregnant) so this hasn't been a problem, but I would probably tell him I waitressed or bartended late night. (There are certain things kids don't want or need to know.) As for everyone else, I worked as an accountant by day for years so that was a good cover, now I'm just a stay at home mom and no one questions it.
The biggest issue we have had was when I found a club that I did pretty well at that wasn't in a very good area. Hubby asked me to take my cell and call every couple of hours because he worried. I quit pretty quickly because we both had to be up before 7am for work and he is CRANKY when he doesn't get enough sleep.
When I first started dancing, I literally had no family. My family had pretty much stopped talking to me and disowned me. The reason I got into dancing was to pay for costs of living since the only stupid "regular" jobs that I could get certainly weren't doing it. Part of what encouraged me to finally get out there and try dancing, was the fact that I didn't have any family, so I didn't have to worry about them asking me what I was doing for work, or finding out anything about my business. I wasn't living with them, so they didn't have any right to tell me what I could/could not do.
Eventually(lol after I made MONEY), my family started talking to me again. My family is ultra-conservative and at one time, my mom had threatened to disown me if I dare even waitressed at a strip club(ironically, she ended up disowning me before I even attempted to go near a strip club). So I told a white lie by saying that I waitressed at a casual bar/restaurant. I would even go so far as tell my parents stories about work, but I would convert the details to fit that of a restaurant, instead of a strip club(for example, a loser customer stiffing me on a lapdance; I converted that story to "customers walked out today without paying their check") I even hid my breast implants from them, by wearing sweaters or baggy dark-colored T-shirts over a minimizer sports bra. I spoke nothing about dancing around them. When I finally got other non-dancing jobs, I was glad because now I had something honest to talk to my family about when they asked me how was work. Since I was living on my own, they generally didn't interrogate me too much with questions about my life and my work.
For the most part, my family wasn't a big involvement/hindrance with dancing. This is mostly because:
1) I do not live with them anymore, so they are less in my business about things.
2) My family lives 1.5hrs away from me, and 2-2.5hrs from the city I danced at most often; they lived out in the boondocks.
3) My family is very conservative, so they do not frequent strip clubs.
Either way, I am kinda glad that I can talk honestly about my job now(I'm not dancing these days). I am not a big fan of lying about things, but I lied about stripping because I did what I felt was best, knowing how weird my family can be.
But it can help you afford them if you want them }:D
I almost told my dad yesterday (I have been stripping for 6 months)...I was like, "Dad do you really want to know what I do?" I told him I am a cocktail waitress. He was like, "If you have any reservations, then I don't want to know!"
Smart man! He knows what's up.
Whew! I'm almost at the point of telling my parents but I'm scared to death! My husband knows, close friends know, one of my sisters, my 22 year old niece, but I'm scared s%&*less to tell my parents! I'm 33 but the baby of the family and very close to my parents. They still get on my case about things like I'm still 12 or something. They were raised in a different time and can be pretty conservative about different issues. I've tried to bring up the subject and they've made comments like "If I were 33 and looked like you and could make money I'd do it!" or "Hey, if you've got it, shake it!" and stuff like that but I think if they knew their baby was doing it they'd completely freak out. For right now they think I work in a bar, that's it. My club is actually an hour from my home ( clubs near me are completely nude, my area is small so having someone I know come in is likely, and my husband is a professional and I would NEVER want to risk his job/reputation with my career choices or otherwise) and I know my parents would NEVER come in, but still, I'm scared. I did tell my therapist the other day and she seemed kind of appalled that I dance. I did let her know that my club is safe, I don't lower my standards, and basically tried to debunk some of the myths about dancing/clubs. Gosh, I hate those stereotypes!
My husband met me when I was dancing. I hadn't divorced my ex yet when we decided to have a baby, since he (the ex) wasn't in a hurry and wasn't taking care of any of the paperwork for mos. He didn't want to break up, so he was dragging it on. I quit dancing when I was 2 mos. preg. My son is now 2 1/2 and I haven't gone back yet. I'm going to audition this week though, and my husband isn't liking the idea. He's never told me I can't do it, but would rather I not. He just isn't able to cut it. He works hard and a lot, but the credit cards have slowly creeped higher and I don't want to wait til I'm too old and can't get us out of it. I wish he was supportive like most of your girls guys. He's jealous I'll meet someone else, but I really have no interest in it. He's the sweetest guy I've ever met. I don't want this to be an issue, but I really have a strong feeling I need to do this. It's temporary for the summer anyway, while I'm not in school.
Ya know this is one of the questions I had before I had done it for the first time... and you are on this site anough as I am , youll see that these ladies on here are all very smart real people who do what they do to make a better life for themselves and their families! Most of us are lucky anough to have people in our everyday lives to support us . As I do with my husband. He is very supportive of me in everything I do . We have two baby girls as well and I am proud that I can be some help in fin. raising them !
Outside of my stripping, I have a husband (who gives me great hints and tips on what guys like), 2 little boys, a day job, and I go to school part time. My homelife is basically the same, I just have more confidence in myself than I had before. My husband totally supports my decision and everything is working out great. So far, the worst part is getting up to the alarm after going to bed at 3 or 4 am.