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staying positive
as some of you know i've recently joined a gym, and started eating better. i go to the gym 4-6 times a week, and have been doing that for over a month. i have personal training sessions twice every week for 45 mins, that usually involve hard cardio and weights. on the other days i do an hour cardio, usually rotating between the elliptical, the treadmill, and the bike. and believe me, i work HARD at the gym, til i'm absolutely exhausted and dripping sweat.
i've also been eating well. i've always been a bit of a junk food addict... fries are my vice. but i haven't eaten them in over a month, and i've cut out junk food almost entirely. i've been eating so damn healthy, without starving myself or doing any silly atkins crap.
is it normal that i don't feel like it's doing anything yet? a few people have told me that they can definitely notice a difference, but i'm not sure if they're actually seeing it, or if they're just saying it to be nice. i'm still at the same weight... maybe a bit lighter... but i don't really expect to drop much weight considering i'm doing so much weight training and building muscle.
it just seems like the more i go to the gym, the more psycho-obsessive i'm getting over the way i look. i always hated my weight, and now i look in the mirror and think i look HUGE. people keep telling me that i look heaps slimmer, but i feel the complete opposite. i'm finding it hard to stay positive, because there's this little voice in my brain going "why does it matter? you might as well just give up, because you're never going to look as good as all of those 'naturally thin' girls you work with. you're still going to be the fat one because no matter how much you work hard and eat well, you're still going to have huge fucking hips"
i guess i just need some advice from girls who, like me, were genetically burdened with wide hips, and who understand what it's like to work with girls who never work out but still stay perfectly slim, and to know that you'll never look as good as them.
or maybe i just wanted to rant. i dunno. bleh.
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Re: staying positive
You don't notice small changes in your body because you see yourself everyday. Also, you are your worst critic. If others are noticing, then you're definitely doing something right. You are looking bigger because as you develop more muscle mass you will grow bigger, your body shape will change. You will become toned and lose the fat. Having bigger hips is not being fat. Try being the skinny girl who everyone says to "WOW you're so SKINNY!" as if skinny girls do something to be that way. Skinny girls often wish they had some curve but no matter what they do can only develop slender, toned bodies, not curves. We are all different and that's what makes us all unique. As long as you are doing the best you can to be healthy and take care of your body, be happy with it. It's the only one you'll ever have and stressing out will make you old fast. Keep up your workouts, maybe switch it up a bit, add some more weight or reps and don't worry about it, you're beautiful!
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Keep up the good work. As long as your mind is right your body will be as well.
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Re: staying positive
This is why I tell everyone to take a before picture and then take "after" pictures every 2 weeks. YOU won't notice the changes until they are drastic...but, if you take pics every 2 weeks, you'll start to notice all of the small changes when you are looking at your body in the pics.
I'm sure you're making improvements...if you weren't, others wouldn't be commenting on them. ;)
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Re: staying positive
Darcy, you just described my life. :)
I've got the wide hips. I'm going to the gym 6 days a week. I've become so completely anal about my food.
And I feel like I've done nothing. Mind you, this is month 2 (with minor lapse in December because I got a double whammy cold, which took me out for about 3 weeks).
But there are a few clothes that fit better and the one place I do see a difference is my arms. I've got biceps! Granted NOTHING like TigersMilk, but more than I've ever had.
Don't give up. If you need support, pm me! I'll be at the gym after class today! :P
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Re: staying positive
I feel the same way alot of times, you work like crazy and do all the right things but you still see all of the things you did before.
I started out when I went to school in September and I had this pair of jeans that I bought because they were super cheap but I couldn't even get them up over my butt... let alone zipper them up, so I left them behind. When I came home I pulled them out again and that time they just slipped right on! I wear them quite regularly now actually.
So I guess the point of that was try on your clothes and you will see if things have gone from comfy to too big or from too small to fitting well.
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Re: staying positive
I have very broad hips and I think I'm sexy as hell!
Working out won't change the size of your hips, but it will tighten and slim the areas surrounding them, as well as the rest of your body. Keep at it!!
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Re: staying positive
Here's to us girls with hips! Darcy, Your curves are you sweetie, and curves are a great thing! Women like us will NEVER look like the skinny girls we work with, but the upside, they will never look like US either!
From your previous post I'm thinking you need to learn to love your body more, not resent it. When I look at pics of you all I can think is "Holy sh*t she is hot!"
I'm pretty sure that's a general feeling across the board.
I do know hwo you feel though, I hated my body for a while, truly did not like what I saw because I was always comparing myselfto the little girls I worked with. I bust my butt in the gym 5 days a week, I eat well, I take care of myself....and I've come to the conclusion that I have hips an booty and big boobs...and I like it.
Wish I could give you a hug. Keep doing your thing, you're doing a great job!
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Re: staying positive
Hardkandee, I pity the fool that crosses me and my arms! jk Took since September to get those. My problem is staying focused. My trainer even told me I havent lost much weight because I dont eat right. I sure am alot stronger though.
Anyways, Im back to going one meal at a time. Having something like an apple or other self wrapped fruit or even a healthy protein bar. Oo also a protein shake you can mix with water only is good to have on hand.
Writing down your meals and only keeping healthy stuff on hand helps too. I think you are doing great from reading your plan youre on a good track. Remember that its realistic to loose 1-2 lbs a week. Youre on a great plan. I wish I could do cardio like that. Oh and taking pictures is a great idea that VG suggested and also using measuring tape to grade your progress are both much better than a fucking scale.
Rock on babe!
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Re: staying positive
OMG I know what you are going through!!
I think I posted a thread about this pissed off about my workouts! I've been going to the gym 5 days a week and eating really, really clean. And EVERY ONE TELLS ME I LOST ALOT OF WEIGHT! But its liek the ladies on here said we see our bodies everyday so we don't notice the small changes our bodies make. I know this much I when I take a shower I can see my NO-NO SPOT without having to suck in my tummy and to me that is ALOT LIKE WINNING THE LOTTERY!
Plus I go by the way my clothes fit. YOUR DOING AWESOME KEEP IT UP SWEETIE take your sweet little now toned behind out shopping and you will see the results suga!
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Re: staying positive
yeah i know that i'm not going to see dramatic changes instantly, but i just feel like it's going nowhere.
i spend more time at the gym than almost any girl in our dressing room, but they ALL still have better bodies than me. i don't want to spend hours every day at the gym - i'd much rather be sewing, or working on my website, or going out for lunch with friends... things that all those girls do every day... but i can't, because i drew the short straw when it came to natural weight management.
i guess i'm just grumpy and angsty at the moment. it just doesn't seem fair. why do they deserve to be naturally thin, and i don't!
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Re: staying positive
Sweetie I know hunny I was having that kind of day last night and I cried myself to sleep and no matter what or who told me how good they thought I looked I didn't believe them.
I guess today is your day. I know first had about not being naturally skinny or pretty I have to put make up on, workout for an hour on the elect. and then do weights, I have to tan and do alot of extra stuff just to add up to someone like yourself.
If you could see what I see you will see that YOU'RE AMAZINLY HOT! YOUR BODY IS OFF THE HOOK I would KILL TO HAVE YOUR BODY or to even LOOK LIKE YOU!
So to me your perfect be we are all our own worst judge. You will come out of it sweetie I promise you're just having a bad day is all!
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Re: staying positive
urrrgh im feeling so crap about it today that i don't even wanna go to the gym, and instead i feel like having a big KFC binge. eww. but i'm craving grease - not physically, but mentally.
someone slap me.
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Re: staying positive
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Re: staying positive
If you rcraving grease - have some. I dont know but if yor like me, my craving will only get stronger, and take me over til I satisfy them. But just don't binge. have something small. craving KFC? Have a snacker.
I never deny myself anythign. That will only make it worse. that will go from craving a pizza to eatin the whole thing. If I have a craving, I feed it. Just small. then it will go away. If i ignore it for to long, it turns into a binge.
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Re: staying positive
just get the fillet out of the burger separately. just ask for it. it's a whole lot better than caving in on fries, bready carbs and goo...
hey, i have long suspected that mirrors in gyms are geared towards the guys... so they make you *look* bigger coz that's how the boys wanna be.
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Re: staying positive
i was strong. i went to the gym and ate pretzels and a carrot instead of KFC.
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Re: staying positive
I would have to agree with the picture-taking. I took my "before" picture when I started my New Year's "get back into shape" resolution and man, ouch. It does help remind me about why I'm doing this, but one nice side effect I found was that it kind of focuses my motivation. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed or even complacent by the big picture. Either I think, "Oh, god, 3 months of this? I'll never make it," or else I think, "I have 3 months to meet my goals! One more cheeseburger won't hurt." Obviously it's the small bits of progress that add up to a major change--and small cheats will also add up to a big problem.
By taking pictures every Sunday, I motivate myself on a day-by-day basis. First, I have last week's picture to look at and tell me that I want to improve. And then I also think, "I better go work out or eat healthy, because it's only a few days until I take my next picture, and I want to be able to see a change!"
So this Sunday will be the end of my third week, and my fourth picture--and look, I'm already 25% of the way through the 3 months! It seems a lot less overwhelming that way.
The other thing I do is keep a workout journal. I mentioned in another thread that I do Body For Life, and one of the features of that is that you can download worksheets to track your cardio and weights workouts. I can see my progress week-by-week, and it's also helpful if I end up taking time off, because I can see where I left off and get back into it more easily without guessing as much. Plus, it gives me a place to keep my Chapstick and gym lock key while I work out.
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Re: staying positive
No one has mentioned it.
GET OFF THE SCALES !! Pick up a tape measure. Seriously Ashlee (aka Darcy) you need to stop standing on the scales and instead measure yourself with a tape measure. Alot of the changes from working out won't be seen on a scale and can be seen with a tape measure.
Measure each arm, each thigh, your chest, your hips, your waist, etc. Measure yourself the same time each week (making sure you've had no water recently so that you aren't measuring water weight) and you should start to see the changes that you can't actually "see".
Also, rule number one, stop comparing yourself to other people!!!!!!!!! STOP IT NOW!!!! You are you. Accept yourself for who you are because (as it is very obvious in this thread) comparing yourself to other women is making you miserable.
You really need the following book: The Real Sex Kitten's Handbook (Paperback) by Val Sampson ! I highly highly recommend it for and to you.
I havn't finished reading it yet however it is most definately a helpful read.
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Re: staying positive
yeah, i know that my biggest problem is comparing myself to other people. if i could stop doing that, i'd be fine, but i have a really bad habit of looking at everyone else and finding things on their bodies that are much better than what i've got and beating myself up over it.
i'll check out the book.
the photos thing sounds like a good idea. i think i might start that on the weekend perhaps.
anyway, for dinner i was REALLY bad. i had steak and fries with pepper sauce. but surprisingly, i'm seeing it as a positive! why? because it was the first time in a month that i'd eaten anything even remotely greasy like that... and i actually didn't enjoy it at all. i've been eating so healthily for a month, that even though fries/chips used to be my absolute all-time favourite food, today they just didn't taste as good and they made my stomach hurt and made my mouth feel greasy and yuck. so the positive is that i honestly have no desire at all to eat shitty, greasy food again. and it's really hit me just how much better i feel after eating vegetables and grilled chicken.
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Re: staying positive
If I can chime in,
I think half the problem is that you're going at it like you have hundreds of poundage to loose. In those cases, visable results are seen a LOT quicker.
When you're in YOUR bmi/bf percentage, you're looking for spot reduction most likely. You HAVE GOT TO STAY DILIGENT. There is no way to spot reduce fat from thighs or anywhere, you burn it differently and you have to continue to burn/tone until you see the results you want.
Don't focus on other girls Darcy, PLEASE, you're your own body, and have your own beauty, don't compare yourself cause it only makes you focus on those things that are IMPOSSIBLE to change.
Instead, focus on the path. Be routine about it. If you're looking for status/proof of change, every two weeks get a bmi/bf test.
I mean, I'm of the opinion that you're jaw dropping anyways, but I understand the desire for toning and bettering oneself.
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Re: staying positive
Oh.. btw.. you can still have fries/chips as much as you desire just make them at home so you can include the skin of the potato which is where all the nutrition is on them and make sure you drain them well so they aren't greasy.
... and steak... well... i don't see how that is harmful. Then again I havn't eaten steak, pork or lamb in YEARS !!!!
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Re: staying positive
I am grateful for this post because i feel like I'm standing in your shoes with you Darcy. I started my diet in august and have since lost 46 pounds through diet and excersise. Now i KNOW i look different from then to now and when i look at pictures from before I can't beleive I walked around looking like that for so many years (And thinking i was one sexy momma lol) I started dancing in november and loosing weight became so much more important because my body is now my income. But for the past month I have really platoed (sp?) I keep gaining and loosing the same weight and I can't seem to drop below to the next number ie. from 150's-140's
I'm still working out harder then ever, I'm trying really hard to eat as healthy as possible but i feel like i'm treading water.... It is just all so fustrating sometimes. And i know i am really hard on myself but i feel like I have to be to get it done. I have like 30 pounds to go and I just want it gone!! I've come to accept that i will always have hips and curves but i want everything else as toned and tight as possible.
So thanks for sharing your fustrations because it helps to know someone else is in the same boat. All I can say to you is keep pushing and working your hardest, it is making a difference and the pictures should really help you see it.
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Re: staying positive
Hey Darcy- I think we're a lot alike, both psychologically and physically. I too am not naturally thin, and I also have huge issues comparing myself to other people.
But it sounds like you're doing really well, and you've set yourself up to succeed. I do know that the more you resist temptation, the easier it gets. Really! The mind's willpower is like a muscle that literally gets stronger as you use it, and good habits will eventually reinforce themselves. So it is much harder at first, and you're doing great. Stick with it and it will get easier. I'm doing my best as well, and you're inspiring! Best of luck! Sometimes you just gotta relax and accept that you are ALREADY a great looking girl. Try to push out those irrational fears.
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Re: staying positive
molly, i've noticed too that we seem to be very very similar. it's kinda comforting to know that i'm not the only people who feels like this.
we should make a pact to stop comparing ourselves to other people lol.
you know what's really weird though? i started stripping right out of high school, and in my senior year i'd taken on a HUGE workload and had gained massive amounts of weight due to not having time for sports, and too much stress. i was probably 15lb heavier than i am now, and far less toned, with pasty white skin, frizzy blonde hair, bad makeup and braces. but in my mind, i was HOT STUFF. i never ever worried about my weight, i never thought i was fat, and i always felt good about myself. it's only since i've started stripping and actually become more "hot" and lost weight that i've started getting all anxious about my image.
i think maybe it's stripping that has made me compare myself to other girls. i don't just do it in the club anymore though, i do it walking down the street. when i go to the mall i examine almost every girl i walk past and try to work out which percentage of girls is thinner than me, and which percentage is fatter. i stare at girls with small hips and imagine scenarios of how much better my life would be if i had hips like that.
it's a very bad habit and it's the first thing i need to stop.
but i'm already getting better at resisting temptation. right now i feel like i've lost any desire to eat junk food at all. and that's definitely a good thing. got my personal trainer again today so might ask him if we can work on burning fat for the next few sessions.