Respecting each other's boundaries.
Okay, maybe I'm more sensitive than others on this topic, but I can't count the times I've wanted to rip someone a new one for smacking me on the ass or grabbing my boobs at work. And I'm not talking about the customers...I'm talking about the other dancers. I do like to play around and I do like to have fun at work, but I don't see how it's fun for me when someone touches me in a way that I don't like, or that makes my body jiggle, or makes me feel uneasy. How about a little professionalisim? So many times, I have read on SW about frustration over handsy customers, etc, but shouldn't the girls we work with be held to similar standards?
Don't get me wrong, there are times when touching is acceptable. For example double dances, or me and a few other girls do this thing where we bump boobs....that's consentual touching, in my book...what frustrates me is the sneak attacks, weather or not it's someone I'm friendly with.
Re: Respecting each other's boundaries.
My club made us sign agreements on dancer-dancer sexual harassement, saying if it happened, we have the right to sue the club and dancer HOWEVER we have to use the corporate lawyer. riiiight...
Re: Respecting each other's boundaries.
^^ thats a first. and yet im somehow not surprised.
glam, i agree! you being naked for money is *not* an invitation for other ladies to grab you. and it's not thought twice of by many other dancers. well said.
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Glam, I feel your pain sister. I can't stand that shit. You don't know how many weaves have been a second from on the floor, because the playfull beauty attached to it, was attached to my ass or knockers!
Like you said, its the sneak attack that pisses ya off.
There's a girl I work with that likes to sneak up behind people, put her arms around your waist, and dog-hump you!!
She's been warned, and so now she calls me a phucking grouch! Whatever, I'd rather be a grouch than answering a judge, lol
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Ugh! There is a girl that I work with sometimes that I try to avoid when she's onstage. Sometimes a customer will put a dollar out for me to tip her with and she always licks my boobs. I try to push her away playfully so i don't come off as a biotch to the custie. It's weird how it's easier to tell a guy not to touch me but i have such a hard time setting those same boundaries with girls. I don't want to come off as a prude or have the girl think i dislike her.
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Yeah, I must be the only girl that doesn't like being smacked on the ass because they act all offended if I don't want them to do it. The last time a chick smacked my ass I had a red handprint which turned into a bruise, not cool.
I would rather not be molested. I would also rather not have my boob job outed, my wig outed, or anything else about me discussed right in front of me with a customer. You would think girls would know better than to stand there and ask me all about my hair right in front of my regular. Or maybe they do it on purpose, hard to say.
Re: Respecting each other's boundaries.
my club has a good record with dancer to dancer respect but we get a few obnoxious ones that think it is cute or will increase tips if we appear playful or sexually into eachother, but it isn't. i have a couple friends that i will play with as long as they know i'm about to grab ass, i say "nice ass, can i get a better look" or ''mmmmm mmmm pillows!!" and do a airhand grabby motion before i go in for the kill and they do the same for me. i especially hate it on the back 9 (our one and only secondary stage where we hold up to six girls, it wraps around the bar so there is enough space) when i'm resting on the redbull machine and someone blindsides me with a grope or slap from the floor, or passing by on stage. it is so unproffessional unless two girls are just cutely and tastefully dancing together for some extra attention, but that random grop is very distasteful and rude to the dancer. i feel that if a custie (it has happened before) see's a girl doing that kind of stuff to me s/he thinks i'm open game. WRONG.
just tonight my girlfriend came up to me while i was sitting with someone and she was sweating bad from just getting off her stages so i jokingly got a napkin and swiped in on her and said i was gonna save it for later, and sniffed it. me and her were laughing until he wanted to join the game. it was not my intention to provoke him to grab at her but some of these guys are just so..desperate/dumb/hopeless/creepy? that they don't understand they can't do that stuff. it was a joke we understood but perhaps i should have let it be. my mistake and i appologized, she blamed him all around but i still feel bad.
they think if we do it, they can do it and some girls don't get it when they take a swing or grab like that. i make sure my friends are ok with my jokes and playfulness but jeez..give and inch and they take 500000000000 miles.
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I like it. I like fucking around..... But I only do it with certain girls, girls that are my friends.
As for other girls I dont touch them unless they have like something in their hair. Though when I walk by a girl and shes talking to a custy sometimes I will brisk her shoulder when I walk by to say "hello" without interupting.
I dont care who touches me... I think its fun... we all have fun. I just know which girls I can do it too.
Re: Respecting each other's boundaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Andygirl
I would also rather not have my boob job outed, my wig outed, or anything else about me discussed right in front of me with a customer. You would think girls would know better than to stand there and ask me all about my hair right in front of my regular. Or maybe they do it on purpose, hard to say.
Hell, don't ask me that shit period, if i don't know you "like that". Further, if I knew you like that, you'd know when or if you should be talking to me about it at all.
In front of a customer?? Totally unexcuseable.
Sounds like haters, and I hate haters!
Re: Respecting each other's boundaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JustJayda
She's been warned, and so now she calls me a phucking grouch!
Okay, and this is the part that upsets me the most!! When I firmly tell someone, "Hey, that's not okay, I don't like that." Their answer should be, "I'm sorry, I won't do that again." But so many times, I'm met with, "Wow, you don't have to be a bitch about it." You know I wouldn't have to be a bitch about it if I thought people would take me seriously the first time!!