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Getting the strength to just walk away...
I'll admit I've been dancing for a little over a year now and I have yet to conquer this issue I'm dealing with. Basically if I'm sitting with a customer, it seems like once I figure that he only wants to meet outside of clubs, doesn't do dances, or like to tip for time, it's hard for me to just get up and walk away. I dont' know why I do this but I found myself doing it ALOT last night while I was at work. My motivation to finally leave 1 customer to go see another was when the DJ would announce a special and I had no choice but to walk away. That was my easy get away.
How can I get the nerve to just do my intro, do my salespitch, then either A) do the dam dance or B) move on to my next prospect?
Any suggestions on helping me get into a "time is money" type of attitude?
Please help,
CK
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
after i say no i'll usually say, well i gotta get back to work..have a good night blah blah
sometimes if the guy keeps asking i'll just pretend i didnt hear them.. lol.. like
guy- i dont want to dance but lets go out...gimme your number
me- all right well you have a goodnight then...it was nice meeting you... *walks away* lol
if the guy is really persistent, and persistent guys are usually the death grabbers..the ones that hug you as if if they let go you'll fall down and die... i'll just start randomly mouthing to someone, like the dj or bouncer, who most the time aren't even looking... and will mouth like... okay... im coming... then say sorry... so and so is calling me.. and will walk away lol
it just really bugs me to have to say..weeelllll...nooo.... i caant.. i'd love to but nooo.. over and over again a night.. so i try not to stick around if i know the guy is going to start asking me out.. just think like this. The guy is obviously not going to spend money on you, so even if you have to rudely, abruptly leave to get out of the situation..its fine..no money loss there....
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I kinda have the same question CK. I dont want other customers to view me as 'rude' because Im leaving a guy that doesnt have anything for me. Because someones always watching you ya know.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TigersMilk
I kinda have the same question CK. I dont want other customers to view me as 'rude' because Im leaving a guy that doesnt have anything for me. Because someones always watching you ya know.
Yup that is exactly my point. I've always been the type of person who likes to "please" and I dont want a customer to turn me down for a dance and then when I walk away immediately write me off as "too good" or "conceited" ya know. I've read SCL (lol yes my guilty pleasure of reading frm time to time) and it seems like customers will bad talk the girls who seem "to good"
I personally don't like customers to think I'm "all about the money" eventhough I am. :-\
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I usually say, "I'll be back in a few minutes, I have to run to the dressing room." And then you can break away and when you walk past again you can pause to say hello, but not sit back down. Or you can say something like, "I think I'm up soon, I better go find out." What can they say to that?
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Yall, I always get right up and leave the instant I figure out he's not buying, and it has not done anything for my money except HELP.
Keep telling yourself that for every minute you waste there, you're losing potential money. Realize that it's OK to just get up and leave - they don't really care, they'll sit there and run the same bullshit on the next girl who walks up so why should you care about leaving them?
All I do is, AS SOON AS I know I'm not getting any money from him, I start physically moving, starting to get up (but not up yet), lean over and tell him I've got to get back to work, and "have a good night" or "have fun". Smile, walk away. It really is as simple as that. You don't need an excuse and it is NOT rude.
Furthermore, if there ARE customers watching you, they're probably wishing you'd hurry up and get the hell away from the time-waster so THEY can get a dance, rather than thinking "oh I hope she doesn't just abruptly leave that poor guy who's not even paying her". No girls, if they're watching you like that, they want you in THEIR laps and they don't give a rat's ass if that nonspender likes it or not. You want to please your SPENDING customers right? So get the hell away from the loser and move along to the spender!!!
I can't tell you how many times I heard/read this from customers, both online and offline. If they're interested, they want you to get up off the other dude's lap and come over NOW, not later.
Finally, keep reminding yourself how much potential money you're losing for every song that passes while you sit there. Add it up during the course of your time with a loser, and add it up over the course of the night if you can. If you spend 15 minutes with a bullshitter, that's up to 5 dances you wasted. For the average club, that's $100 of potential money you WASTED. For me, that is one HELL of a motivator.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I agree totally with Bridgette--just get up, say "It's been so much fun talking with you, I wish I didn't have to get to work. Have a great night." Big smile. The more you do it, the easier it is. Don't worry about the guys feelings--worry about your feelings and your money.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
If they're polite type of guys I usually say, "I dont mean to be rude, its lovely chatting to you but Ive got to get back to work. Maybe I'll see you later on >insert name if i can remember it<. Have a good night" Smile, shake their hand and move on.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bridgette
Yall, I always get right up and leave the instant I figure out he's not buying, and it has not done anything for my money except HELP.
Keep telling yourself that for every minute you waste there, you're losing potential money. Realize that it's OK to just get up and leave - they don't really care, they'll sit there and run the same bullshit on the next girl who walks up so why should you care about leaving them?
All I do is, AS SOON AS I know I'm not getting any money from him, I start physically moving, starting to get up (but not up yet), lean over and tell him I've got to get back to work, and "have a good night" or "have fun". Smile, walk away. It really is as simple as that. You don't need an excuse and it is NOT rude.
Furthermore, if there ARE customers watching you, they're probably wishing you'd hurry up and get the hell away from the time-waster so THEY can get a dance, rather than thinking "oh I hope she doesn't just abruptly leave that poor guy who's not even paying her". No girls, if they're watching you like that, they want you in THEIR laps and they don't give a rat's ass if that nonspender likes it or not. You want to please your SPENDING customers right? So get the hell away from the loser and move along to the spender!!!
I can't tell you how many times I heard/read this from customers, both online and offline. If they're interested, they want you to get up off the other dude's lap and come over NOW, not later.
Finally, keep reminding yourself how much potential money you're losing for every song that passes while you sit there. Add it up during the course of your time with a loser, and add it up over the course of the night if you can. If you spend 15 minutes with a bullshitter, that's up to 5 dances you wasted. For the average club, that's $100 of potential money you WASTED. For me, that is one HELL of a motivator.
I like this answer.
Usually I'll say something like, "Well I've enjoyed chatting with you, but I really do have to get back to work. If you change your mind, please, by all means, flag me down later. I'll let you enjoy the show." Then smile and walk away.
Or you can say,
"Excuse me but I need to...
-visit the ladies' room."
-check to see where I am on rotation."
-request some music from the DJ."
-go freshen up."
-get a drink."
"If you'd like a dance later, let me know!!"
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Hey I was exactly like this until last night, i am so proud of myself i was totally fierce!!
I spent way too long trying to convince this particular customer to get a dance from me and then realised he was a time waster.
So anyway all night every time I walked past he kept talking to me wasting me time so more etc.
So finally I thought stuff this and I said "hey Im working i need to find some one who actually will spend money on me" and he said "what wrong with just talking?" i said "nothing for u but im working, im on the clock here and time is money GOODBYE"
You know what happened after this?
A guy walked straight up to me and asked me for a dance.
Your attitude is everything. No you wont look like a bitch, u will look like a dancer who is in demand and doesnt need to waste her time with PLs who have no intention of getting a dance.
now i have become very ruthless lately. im sick of time-wasters and now that ive been dancing a bit longer i have the confidence to think that my time is valuable and worth their money.
i have even gotten to thepoint with certain customers (the real time-wasters) where as soon as they indicate that they dont want a dance i walk off without even excusing myself or i simply start ignoring them and talking to someone else nearby.
hehe bitch!
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Okay, Cin, here is how I look at it. Everyone knows that this is your job and in order to live, you need to make money. I feel that someone who would try to get and sit and talk to them for free is fucking you over and having no respect for you. I mean, would you try to walk into a Mercedes dealership and fuck with the car salesmen when you have no intention of buying a Mercedes? That guy has bills to pay and could be helping a real customer. And so do you. I'm sure that you have the respect not to waste people's time. Point blank, you can't feel bad for somebody that's trying to screw you. And trying to guilt trip you into hanging out with them for free is a customer's way of screwing you, wether they intend to do that or not. So why would you want to still sit with that person knowing they're ripping you off?
Know what I mean?
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
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Originally Posted by
VegasPrincess
Okay, Cin, here is how I look at it. Everyone knows that this is your job and in order to live, you need to make money. I feel that someone who would try to get and sit and talk to them for free is fucking you over and having no respect for you. I mean, would you try to walk into a Mercedes dealership and fuck with the car salesmen when you have no intention of buying a Mercedes? That guy has bills to pay and could be helping a real customer. And so do you. I'm sure that you have the respect not to waste people's time. Point blank, you can't feel bad for somebody that's trying to screw you. And trying to guilt trip you into hanging out with them for free is a customer's way of screwing you, wether they intend to do that or not. So why would you want to still sit with that person knowing they're ripping you off?
Know what I mean?
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Dam, I just wish I could have this "queen bitch" attitude while I'm at work. I think customers look at me as such a friendly girl (I'm always happy, smiling, never pushy) and I never try to make someone feel like I'm trying to take advantage. Maybe I should start to make it all about me though...:-\ but still in a nice way.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
CK, it’s not about having a “queen bitch attitude” and it’s okay to be friendly. I’m one of the nicest girls at work. Treat people how you want to be treated, be honest, but most importantly be upfront. It’s not rude to move on to another custy shortly after a rejection, it’s normal.
Think of it this way, if you had little time and went to the store to buy something and it was out of stock, you wouldn’t stay in the store shooting the breeze with the cashier, right? When a custy says NO, act like the bldg just caught on fire. Make an hourly goal if that helps; act busy. People will waste your time if you let them, you can’t afford it. I know I can’t. People will respect you more when you set boundaries. Keep telling yourself, when I hear a “no” I got to go and be out.
I would rather be by myself then having an unproductive conversation with a non-payer, girls included. Look CK, when you hang around a custy after you realize they’re not going to pay you, you look like the fool, not them b/c they’re thinking hey, she’s still here b/c she wants to talk to me, not b/c you have to.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
^^Yup.
If he's trying to get me to do something other than dance -- date, extras, whatever -- I have absolutely no guilt about bailing immediately. Guy's a jerk, end of story. Who cares about his feelings? Just make sure you say goodnight in a pleasant way so that anyone who does happen to be looking sees you smiling.
If the guy says he doesn't have any money, or is about to leave, or any of that, assume he's either telling the truth or DOESN'T WANT A DANCE and is too much of a weenie to say so. In that case, you don't have to worry about hurting his feelings, cause he's trying to get rid of you. Sometimes I will see a guy who was "out of money" or "about to leave" getting a dance with another girl later. Oh, well. I could've spent thirty minutes trying to change his mind and get one crummy half-hearted $20 dance, but in that thirty minutes I could've found a customer who was totally crazy about me and wanted to blow his whole paycheck. Also, I would've been tying up a customer who may have wanted to spend money on somebody else. I'm sure we've all been on the other side of this, too -- there's a customer that you *know* wants a dance from you, but some other girl is sitting on his lap for hour badgering him to get a dance he doesn't want and refusing to leave.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I have absolutely no problem with leaving asap when I figure out they're not buying. Maybe it's because I have, "fine, fuck you then" flash across my brain? Really, they're not going to be SURPRISED about it. :)
Sunshine had some great lines.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
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Originally Posted by
cinammonkisses
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Dam, I just wish I could have this "queen bitch" attitude while I'm at work. I think customers look at me as such a friendly girl (I'm always happy, smiling, never pushy) and I never try to make someone feel like I'm trying to take advantage. Maybe I should start to make it all about me though...:-\ but still in a nice way.
It's not about being a queen bitch. I'm always laughing, giggling, friendly, having a good time etc. But I'm not wasting my time on someone who isn't paying. You don't have to be a bitch. But HELL YEAH it is all about you. WTF else would it be about?? You don't go to work for charity, you go to work to make a living for YOURSELF.
If a guy is nice, not saying something stupid I just get up with a smile and tell him to "have fun" or whatever. If he pulls some stupid line I just walk away without a word. (Sometimes if he says something particularly jerkoff-ish I'll give him a few choice words of my own as I walk away, but that's that redheaded temper :P ). The biggest thing to keep in mind is that someone else may be wanting a dance from you, you just have to find him. So the more time you spend on some loser, the less time you have to find your CUSTOMER.
Quit fretting over it, and just DO IT. I remember how long you sat on this website before you finally got off your ass and started dancing CK. Don't do the same thing with this. You'll regret losing all that money later. It gets easier after the first time. Just. DO. It.
;D
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Yeah, we're all in agreement get up and leave the bastards ;) Just blame us if you feel mean doing it
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
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Originally Posted by
Bridgette
I remember how long you sat on this website before you finally got off your ass and started dancing CK. Don't do the same thing with this. You'll regret losing all that money later. It gets easier after the first time. Just. DO. It.
;D
Oh goodness don't remind me..what was it like 4yrs..OMG runs and hides head in shame :-[
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I feel ya. In the beginning I had the same prob. Right after he says something about meeting OTC shift the convo, ask something about him that may take a min or so to answer, but not anything super in depth. Once that convo dies down, look around and say something about how dead it is or how it doesn't seem that the girls are making money (even if it's not true, I haven't had a guy say otherwise), then point to a random guy and say something about how last week he wanted a dance from you but you were super busy. Say you're gonna go check if he would like something now. Then say in a sweet, amazed way < can you believe I've only made $90 after tipout!!!> Say some amount that sounds like it may be low,but not too low that it sounds like you don't know what you're doing ( this # will vary from club to club). They usually empathized. Make it seem like he's your confidante, he'll love it, make him feel special. Then say you'll be back in a bit, give either a peck on the cheek or an arm squeeze and take off. He won't ?? if the guy really was in last week or not- how would he know?? You could possibly avoid him until he leaves by keeping busy talking to other guys. If you're not talking to a guy, go to the dressing room, bathroom, dj booth, etc..
Another thing is the other dancers seem to think I could smell money (def wrong on more than one occasion,lol) and wherever I was, they would come running. Then I would let them manipulate the convo, I'd hang back, and eventually make a discrete exit. He may have asked where I was going, but the girls were so aggressive at my old club that the poor guy couldn't get a word in edgewise!
You don't have to be superbitch. However, always make it seem like you're in control, like you hold the cards. I always spoke sweet, with sugar dripping in my voice- Oh, honey, you know I have to make a dollar or two!!! How else am I gonna pay for my coffee tommorrow morning?!? or, I'll be back in a few. Don't go cheating on me! We're not even married yet! Always good if you can make them laugh. These types of lines worked well for me, but I'm up in the Northeast. I don't know if the game runs differently elsewhere;)
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
I plan on copying most of these responses and putting them in my own personal 'strippers guide' I take to work with me to keep me on track....it's such great advice. Sometimes I hate getting up because I feel the whole club is looking at me like "A-ha you got turned down!" lol
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TigersMilk
I kinda have the same question CK. I dont want other customers to view me as 'rude' because Im leaving a guy that doesnt have anything for me. Because someones always watching you ya know.
im still trying to get over that fear of being rude. i mean, im doing my job, but its exhausting have to tip toe around all the sensitive egos!
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
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Originally Posted by
PleasureVictim
Sometimes I hate getting up because I feel the whole club is looking at me like "A-ha you got turned down!" lol
Now, THAT I can relate to!
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
Easy & fun: jump up, chirp, "See you later!" And take off.
Unless they are afflicted with low IQ, they can guess you need to work the room.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
i don't think it is rude to leave a customer who isn't spending money. most guys understand that the strippers gotta make money somehow. i have said that to chatty guys before.... "i'm so sorry but i gotta get back to work or my paycheck is gonna totally suck!!!" they don't want to be the reason that you don't make any money. if they want you to hang out, then they gotta spend!
if the club is kinda dead and the customer is interesting to talk to, i'll usually sit with them for maybe 2 more songs after they already said no. you never know, they might even change their mind about getting a dance if you are having a good conversation and they decide they don't want you to leave. there have been times where i asked a guy for a dance like 3 times, he kept saying no, but then we just kept talking and finally he said "oh what the hell, you are such a sweetheart, i will get just one dance" and then that turned into 4 dances once i got him in the back. i had to sit and talk with him for a half hour at least, though. if the club was busy, i would have never invested that much time!!! my rule is if the club is busy then don't stick around for more than one song after he's already said no. say your goodbye and wrap things up within one song. i know how you feel sometimes, i don't wanna just be like "ok you don't have any money, BYE THEN!!!" and walk away immediately, especially if the guy is polite.
for idiot guys who are asking you out and want your number, don't worry about being rude, because they are being rude by wasting your time and annoying you with the same questions you hear a million times a night. they are losers and won't spend money anyway. sometimes i will tell them that i have to get to know them better in the club before i can decide if i wanna go out with them, or i say that they have to buy dances first before i give out my number. then they will probably say no, and then you can just say "ok then, suit yourself" and walk away. hahahah.... it doesn't matter what they think. but if they do decide to get dances in hopes of going out with you or getting your number, then of course you don't have to actually go out with them or give them your real number. i don't know if that is good advice, but i do it all the time.
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Re: Getting the strength to just walk away...
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Originally Posted by
PleasureVictim
Sometimes I hate getting up because I feel the whole club is looking at me like "A-ha you got turned down!" lol
Get that crap right out of your mind!! If there's a guy wanting your attention, he's not thinking that, he's thinking "YAY she finally got away from that other schmuck, now maybe she'll come over HERE!" Otherwise, they're not really thinking anything - guys aren't that "bitchy" like girls are hun. ;D