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I left the club in tears last night....
I have never asked to leave early. I even finished my 12 hour shift once with an infected wisdom tooth and another time with laryngitis.
Last night on my way to work I almost turned the car around coz I had this feeling that I should not go in. I just kept driving and turned up.
Then at work I just couldn't do it, I couldn't approach guys, I could not fake a smile.
I went back stage at 130pm and just broke down. Totally burst into tears.
I was so embarrassed making a scene.
The other girls were really sweet saying everyone has their bad nights etc.
The manager said I could leave so I did.
I think I was really exhausted or something. Has this happened to any of you?? Please share Im feeling like a freak.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
oh this happened to me... That is the way I felt. I think I was premenstral. But it did cause me to take a needed break from dancing. It happened 4 months after I first started. You should not feel embarassed. We are girls and freak out should be my middle name.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
How long did you take a break for and are u ok now that u are back?
I think I might be in need of a break, I cant even seem to hustle at all and I am relying 100% on guys coming up to me to ask for dances which means I am earning less.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I've seen it happen to many dancers before. You need a break.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Take a week or two off if you can afford it. Sometimes we all just need to recharge.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I moved, then took a trip, got settled with my classes. Then I had to figure out how I was going to work in Canada w/o a visa. So all of this took about 1.5 to 2 months. I really attribute my break down at the club to the fact that I had met someone I really cared about just before I was leaving tucson. Also it seemed like I was quickly developing regulars who were really nice and would just pay me to sit even in VIP and CR. For some reason that bothered me (on that day). At that point I just wanted to dance for a customer and for them to pay me for it, but that is just not how it works. I was sad, and I new I should not have gone to work. A regular customer of mine wanted me to sit down w/ him. I sat. He could tell something was wrong. He said, "let's go to VIP so we can chat somewhere quieter." Well, he asked me what was wrong and I said I was hungry (lol). Then he said he wanted to get me some take out from a healthy vegetarian rest. For some odd reason it upset me even more that he was nice to me (I know, I am nuts). I got really upset. I left, and dressed. I was still crying when I tried to pay out to the manager. They knew I hadn't made much. They didn't want my money. They were nice too, and just said that they hoped I felt better soon.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I had a regular in last night and he knew something was wrong as soon as he saw me. I only made $90 and I couldn't have cared less I just wanted to be out of there sooooooo bad I would have left with nothing.
I need a break to decide if I can cope with this job. I think anyone who lasts long-term as a dancer is very mentally strong because I've been in it 5 months at an air-dance club and it's already taking it's toll on me. I have such admiration for girls who make a career out of it, it's a fucking hard job.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
i'm in the same boat right now. i've needed a break for a few months, but i just can't afford to take one. don't worry about feeling weak because of it. it's tough and eventualy it wears on a person, esp. depending on where you work and etc. i hope you start feeling better soon.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
This sounds lame but when I need to purge something from my mind, sometimes I'll do a freewrite, no holding back--all out rage, hate, sadness, everything comes out. Then I'll have myself a REALLY good cry, the kind that after you fall asleep it makes you feel like you're hungover the next morning. Then I'll pop some advil and drink tea and watch funny movies all day.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Aw you poor thing! Im sure you'll bounce back soon enough though (-:
Youve worked really hard and achieved alot in a short time, it takes its toll. Like the others said,take a couple of weeks off, dont think about the club at all and then when you go back youll feel all fresh.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
yes yes jai, no embarrassment! i have only had it happen once and it was because i was seriously burnt out and it was the anniversary of my sister's death, and my mother was in the nuthouse at that time bec she was unable to deal.. essentially it was a shitton of emotional stress + burn out = tears and inability to do my job effectively. i just wanted to bury my face in my pillow and not move from my bed but i tried to work anyways. not a good move on my part. now i know when i cant handle it, take a vacation asap or get a massage or somethin.
edit: if you are that burnt out, take 1 and a half weeks off at least. and my experience says, go somewhere, dont just sit at home..
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
don't let this make you feel like a freak. it happens. every 6 months or so i just have to disappear for a couple of weeks & get my shit together. i'm going through a phase like that right now. i don't have it in me to give a shit what dudes think/want so i'm taking some time off till i get my hustle back.
it'll pass & then you'll be back on top of your game. don't stress about it.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Thanks! where would i be without SW - seriously. It's great being able to debrief here.
I def need to take time out and I will take the advise of u all and do it. It seems dancers must need to take time off every now and then - i know people of all jobs do as well but i think in our case it's more pronounced.
Kisses and hugs to u all xoxoxoxo
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
This has happened to me many times.. thats when I realized I needed to get off the floor and start becoming a stage dancer.
I burnt out bad from lap dancing and I became irritable and cranky and bitchy and hated the world.
I would go into work and just burst into tears because I couldnt even handle the idea of talking to these guys nevermind dancing for them.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
12 hour shifts? jesus christ girl if i work 5 im ready to go!
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Awww, take a break and hang in there! I hope you get to feeling better :)
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Yeh the long hours get to me too :(
Cally that's exactly how I feel I dont even want to approach them. That's why I am only doing dances for guys who approach me.
My club is currently training me to do features but i will still have to rely on private dances for income. So I def need the break.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I've done that before..that's when I needed a break, and a change of scenery! I hope you're feeling better
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
*hoping you feel better soon!*
PS: From what you've written in other threads, I might know who you are, and if I'm right, you're a terrific dancer. Perhaps there's alternative work teaching dancing or doing shows. If you haven't looked seriously, who knows what might be available. Maybe a break and you'll be back to your usual self. I'm hoping you're back at your best soon... anything else would be a terrible waste!
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
^^^
really do u come into my club?
thanks, i try ;D
i am going to have a new job teaching pole dancing but i wasnt planning to give up dancing for it coz the money is great and in better times i do like the job.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I'm lucky if this only happens to me once a month. When i'm premenstrual i'm useless being at work.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I really understand what your going through I did the exact same thing Friday night I think we're all burnt out from a long dry winter here(Syracuse NY) Breaks have always helped me and hopefully will help you too.BTW Thanks all youve helped me too.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
I find that a lot of people supress their feelings. Just let it out. I write, and it really helps me feel relieved about all the bs and everything.
But I agree that you need a break. Take a week, and when you go back start a new pattern, some type of rewards and find new ways to get all your feelings out.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
Take a break and do things that are good for you...take long hot candlelit baths, drink warm tea, watch funny movies, go out for dinner with a friend, etc. Make sure you have some sort of outlet (long walks, write in a journal) for stress. When you go back to work, keep a sense of humor about things. You're not a freak, you're human and don't worry we are here for ya.
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Re: I left the club in tears last night....
yes, this happened to me... i took about a week off. and was happy even though slightly embarassed
:P