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I need a hug....
:'( I am trying my best not to let this bother me, but it hurts. My sister sent me a nasty email putting me down for stripping. Her and I are not really close, and I think she is just mad at the world right right now, and picked me to explode on. I don't have time right now(I will later) to go into further detail, but I just don't know what to say to her about this. She is picking a fight at the worst time. She is "supposed" to be one of my bridesmaids. I don't want her to be maid of honour, because we aren't that close, and I can't depend on her. I made my best friend and I refer to him as a brother, as my "Man of Honour". He's gay, and he is just like the sister I always wanted anyway. We're super close. Anyway, I need to talk to her, I just don't know what to say without it blowing up into something ugly.
Any suggestions?
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Re: I need a hug....
:hug: :hug: Not yet, but I do have that hug for ya:hug:
Sorry, I read the thread hoping for some company in my misery, and couldn't resist giving u a hug;)
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Re: I need a hug....
IF she cant get over it and continues to stress you out..i def would not have her be a bridesmaid. Hell...I'd reconsider inviting her. Your wedding day is YOUR day and anyone who doesnt support you body mind and soul has no business being there. Nothing should get in the way of your happiness.
I can relate a bit...my parents and i fought for 6 months before my wedding and they were not planning to attend up until the last minute. Because I was not getting married in a church. They said I'd be divorced in a year. This June it'll be our 7 year anniversary and still going strong...so THERE!
They were on their best behaviour at my wedding..posed for pics, had fun....my dad even walked me down the "aisle"(there was no real aisle..we got married at Ripleys Believe it or Not). But if they had raised a fuss..I would have felt perfectly ok with kicking them out. MY day....MINE.(and my hubbys..but it really is all about the bride..lol)
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Why don't you give her the address of this website and ask her to read it.
Tell her it's a far more accurate reflection of the reality of a dancer's life than all the documentaries and anecdotal evidence she's come across.
(No need to tell her your ID on this site).
Phil.
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*HUGS*
It sucks not having ppl support you on things you want to do. :(
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well, if she reads this site, it's possible she'd be able to figure her out anyway.
i dont know what to say except that you dont need toxic people in your life, and she sounds like one! but since you did say that she kinda just took her shit out on you, as much as it sucks, maybe wait til later to talk it out with her? if that's the route you want to go...
:hug:
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You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. That being said, now you have one less unloving person to drag you down.
PS I'll tell you by e-mail the thing my sister said to make me disown her...The funny part is that she'll be in my shoes soon & she can think about what she said...Karma Boomerang!!!!
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I'm sorry I don't have any advice but here's a :hug:
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Awww, Sinder I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I don't really have much advice to give because I don't know the entire situation, but in a nutshell it just sucks.
Why would what your choose to do for a living override who you are as a person? In no other profession can I think of someone saying, you're _____because you're an accountant, cashier, lawyer, etc.
I am the same person I was before I started dancing, and I'm sure you are too. It's just a job, albeit non-traditional, but a job nonetheless. It puts food on the table, clothes on our backs and usually one hell of a bank account.
I hate people that are judgemental and closed-minded like this. We are not evil people-we're human beings. We're just making the most of what we have and trying to make better lives for ourselves.
I've worked all kinds of jobs, and this is by far my favorite. It is actually the first one I've ever had where I don't stare at my watch every five minutes hoping it's time to go home. In fact, I don't even wear a watch at all and am often surprised when 2 o'clock rolls around and it's time to go home.
Even with the bad things that come along with it, it still blows away any straight job I've ever had a mllion times over. There are so many perks, it's surprising to me that more people don't do it!
Sorry your sister is being such an ass-I guess it makes it a little easier that you guys aren't that close to begin with, but even then, it's still painful. Keep your chin up and I hope you feel better soon! :hug:
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Re: I need a hug....
Aww, thanks girls!
Its complicated with my sister. We have different dads, neither of whom we have or even wish to have contact with, and we are as different as night and day. If we weren't sister's, I don't think we'd even be freinds.
Her rant started about me not being there for her birthday(January). I wasn't able to go becasue I had just had my BA, was sore, bandaged and couldn't drive. Also I had a girlfriend coming down to visit the day before my sisters birthday. We had planned this weeks in advance. I figured since it was the day BEFORE my sis' b-day it wouldn't be a problem, but at the very last fricking minute my mom had called to tell me that they were having a get together the day before her b-day because my sis was going to be too busy with other things on her b-day.
I called my sis and told her I was sorry I couldn't make it and told her why. I also said, lets get together when your not so busy and we'll do something together to make up for it. Well I never heard from her.
I would call and leave her messages, that she would never recieve. After a while I just stopped calling so much. I would even go to her house, but she was never home. I'd even leave notes on the door! I may sound like a bad sis, but I have other things to do than try and chase her down.
Soooo, in what started in her being mad at me for not trying harder to get ahold of her turned into her "stripper bashing". What that has to do with her is beyond me. So stripping isn't something she would do, big fucking deal. Does that mean no one can? She is nothing but a hipocrit, taling the "holier than thou" attitude while she cut and dries weed to sell, along with other drugs.
So I'm a stripper whore with mo morals, and she's a drugged out dealer.
If I gave her the link to the site, I'd have to change my avatar so she couldn't spot me. As good of an idea as it is, she is very narrow minded and I don't know if she would even bother to take the time to see another's point of view. In order for her to see someone else's point of view, she would first have to pull her head out of her ass.
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Aw, that sucks :hug:
I would not bother replying to the email or discussing things with her but tell her to go away / leave you alone and comeback when she can start behaving like a reasonable human being even if thats years from now. Its horrible, but do you really need drama in your life?
Pity about the wedding but if she has to be there...
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Re: I need a hug....
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I took your advice Cameron!
Today I tried to get ahold of sis again, and finally said fuck it and called her at work AFTER leaving her an email in reply to her latest nasty one this morning. I basically...and very calmly told her that she may attend the wedding as guest. I told her that I understand why she is mad, but she has no right to disrespect me because of my job. I also told her that that I need loving supportive people in my life and if she can't handle herself in an adult and civil manner, than all the best to her.
I had my best friend with me as my witness because my sister(and my mother) are both notorious for lying and exagerating. I can't trust either of them if I am alone.
But, I am trying not to let this eat at me. I know my mom will blow an enormous gasket when she hears about it. But oh well. I could care less if either of them attend the wedding. I can't do this anymore. Our relationship has been long damaged beyond repair. It was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan again anyway. So I will save mom's reaction for another thread.....
Yeah, so.....I am down a bridesmaid, and need a replacement!
Any takers!?!LOL! J/K!
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Re: I need a hug....
*hugs*
Fuck your sister... your a hell of a cool chick ;) Shes just jealous that your ubber hawtness ;)
Now where is my wedding invite missy? :P
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Re: I need a hug....
Send me a PM with your addy, and I will gladly send you an invite!
Hell, I'd put you in her spot!
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If you were closer I'd say "Invite me!".
:hug:
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I would invite you in a heartbeat CF!
If ya wanna make the trip, EVERYONE is welcome!
Thanks to all you gals.....ya know I love you all!
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Re: I need a hug....
Address? I have an address? LoL
When is it? I may be able to...
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I'll PM you with the details!
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I know family drama like the back of my hand, and all you can really do is just explain yourself as you wish, like that you're an adult, not any different, etc, and tell her you'd like for her to still be in your life. If she continues to just be a source of stress/drama, you may need to call it off.
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Re: I need a hug....
^^ Yeah, I think I may have just called it off with her. With trashing my job not being enough for her to chew on, she then went ahead to bust my chops about getting a BA. She was pissed becasue my surgery was week before her b-day and somehow I planned to ruin her day...blah,blah, blah....entering into more name-calling....such as I am a dirty whore with no morals,self-worth or dignity.
I ended up telling her to stay home for my wedding and that I didn't need nor want her there if this is her attitude.
And of course she has corresponded to all of this via email, becasue she is too lazy to return my calls and discuss this face to face.
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Re: I need a hug....