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Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
So I told my parents that I am stripping, and long story short my dad is totally less than pleased. Anyone else do this, and do the parents ever get over it?
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Told my dad, he wasn't extatic but far from angry he understands that I'm an adult and it's just entertainment, it helps that he is well traveled and has gone to different countries and understands stripping is nothing compared to what he has seen. Give them time, it may help explaining your not the streotypical stripper potrayed on t.v. as a druggie-whore...let them know it's truely entertainment just like a vegas showgirl kinda thing. Just give it time, they will love and accept that this is your job and nothing more in time.:)
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
A sibling blabbed to my dad when I first started. He was very angry for a while, but now we just don't talk about it and get along fine. What can he do? You are a grown-up now.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Make sure you don't ask them for favors anymore. Then bank like a m*therf*cker. They'll warm up quickly & start asking for shit.
LOL
My experience anyway.....
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
I didn't tell my parents, but they found out. They're still not over it (and its going to be a looong time before they are), but they still love me.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
yeah, they'll get over it. especially if they see it being a positive force in your life (house, education, etc.) vs a negative one (a nastydrug habit)
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
i asked my parents before i started.kinda.
well, i told them what i was gonna do before i hit the stage, and they knew it didnt matter if they objected, i was gonna do it anyways. they appreciated i was honest tho.
i get along fine with them, havent had an issue.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
I told my parents a couple of times that I've been in the industry. Neither was pleased. In fact, the last time my mother pleaded with me to stop. I felt so fucking guilty and at her behest I did eventually stop. Now I feel too bad to go back to dancing.
For the record, my mother NEVER got over it. When she's upset at me she'll bring up the fact that I'm apparently quite happy to 'show my arse' to just about anyone. My Dad is better about it, but his disappointment is palpable whenever the subject of stripping is raised.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Select people in my family know. My dad knows, and he supports me. He knows Im an adult, and make good decisions. My little brother is in and out of jail all the time and uses drugs and is just a bad kid...so my dad is proud of me that I got my shit together and have never been in trouble. I think he is less that thrilled...but when I talk to him and say Im on my way in to work, he will say, Make a milion dollars!
My mother does not know I dance. I told her once, and she is a bad person. She told my gramma and everyone that I was a prostitute using drugs...because she is also in and out of jail all the time, and she makes up stories to make herself look better. I told her I quit dancing, and she don't know. I don't need the headache of her spreading lies to my family.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
They didn't know at first. Then I didn't like lying to them and told them. I realise now that they were quite happy with the lie. Seriously. My relationship with my father has suffered ever since I told him. You could say 'estranged'.
I hardly see or talk with him anymore.
My mother is not of this plane of existance and hasn't been since 1999 way before I started this industry.
My step mum knows and dislikes it.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
I cant imagine any father being pleased that his little girl is stripping. I think most mothers wouldn't be comfortable with it either.
I would never in a million years hurt my parents by telling them what I do. It would hurt them deeply and I would feel guiltier about that than I do about lying.
Your parents may never get over it. They might accept that you will continue to do it but that doesn't mean that they will ever like it or be comfortable about it.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jaizaine
I cant imagine any father being pleased that his little girl is stripping. I think most mothers wouldn't be comfortable with it either.
I would never in a million years hurt my parents by telling them what I do. It would hurt them deeply and I would feel guiltier about that than I do about lying.
Your parents may never get over it. They might accept that you will continue to do it but that doesn't mean that they will ever like it or be comfortable about it.
ouch. stuff like that sucks. id rather tell the truth then hide who i am.
parents love you unconditionally right?
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
I haven't told my mother...and I don't think she'd be too pleased. Let me rephrase: I think she'd disown me. From a general perspective, asian households are a lot less tolerant towards these types of careers...but yet we eat dogs and cats. Go figure.
And my biological dad...well....let's not get into that right now.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
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Originally Posted by
mermaidnz
ouch. stuff like that sucks. id rather tell the truth then hide who i am.
parents love you unconditionally right?
I dont think I am hiding who I am - I dont think this job defines who I am, its just something I am doing right now to pay the bills. They do love me unconditionally but what I meant was that it would cause them a lot of pain and heart ache which I am not willing to cause.
Also my dad especially is highly intolerant of things like this. I dont think he would even speak to me if he found out. He has stopped talking to me over much less in the past.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
When I told my mother, she started to ball. Which was surprising because we were never that close. She said she wanted me to stop and I told her that I would start waitressing instead and she was less upset about that - needless to say that never happened...but I didn't know what to do. I did waitress for a bit a while ago because I needed a break but I dance now. So she still thinks I waitress at the club and I feel guilty about it, but I couldn't stand that crying. I think if she knew that I continued to dance she would never, ever get over it.
When I told my dad he immediately wanted to 'manage' my career. My dad is wierd like that...obviously he doesn't, but he tries...my father was never really my dad, but more of a bud...but I tell my dad just about everything, we're close.
I dance in Canada and my parents live in the US so that helps...
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Yeah I'd say distance would also be a big factor. Because, well, it's just a fact of nature that most parents would NOT want to have close friends/relatives/associates aware of their children's profession when it comes to the adult industry. The farther you are from them, the more you eliminate that risk, but shoot...its ya life, so live it to the fullest. As long as you're happy, that's all that should matter.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Well..let's put it like this: When I was about 19 I joked with my mom that since I have these big boobies that I should go get a job @ Hooter's.
Dude, my mom's eyes welled up so fast..she was like, "oh please don't do that to yourself. OMG what have I done as a mother to deserve that"
I was shocked..so umm yea she has NO IDEA that I'mma dancer lol..
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
I think many parents are ignorant about stripping. I tried to broach the subject with my dad one time and he mentioned that "you know, most of those girls do more than strip. What do you think goes on in that back room?" So, he basically thinks that stripper=hooker. If I were to tell him I danced, he'd think I was a hooker. So, I don't bother trying to explain. I just don't tell them.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
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Originally Posted by
cinammonkisses
Well..let's put it like this: When I was about 19 I joked with my mom that since I have these big boobies that I should go get a job @ Hooter's.
Dude, my mom's eyes welled up so fast..she was like, "oh please don't do that to yourself. OMG what have I done as a mother to deserve that"
I was shocked..so umm yea she has NO IDEA that I'mma dancer lol..
I pulled the same kind of thing with my mom. We were out at dinner and I joked that I should get a job at Hooters with a gf that already worked there. I've never seen someone go from 0 to Bitch so fast. She didn't well up she just got livid that I'd even suggest that. Needless to say dancing is not something that will EVER be mentioned to her.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
My parents don't know. I'm also not willing to cause my parents so much heartache, considering both of them have health stress-related problems. They think I am a go-go dancer at a regular night club (we do have regular clubs in ATL that hire clothed stage dancers). They would die if they found out, so I'd rather not tell them. I don't plan on dancing for more than a couple more years from now any way.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
my parents are the most wonderful people in the world. they're pretty ok with it. I told them pretty soon after I started, and I also think going to school has a lot to do with it. Plus, they like me being able to support myself on most things, and they know it allows a fair amount of flexibility.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
Wow lol seems like Hooters is a good litmus test hehe That's kinda what I did too... back in HS I was looking for a restaurant job and Hooters was among the apps I brought home. My mom saw it and reacted poorly, so, telling her what I'm doing now is a definite no-no.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
No offense to anyone but geezz some parents are way to overdramatic....
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
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Originally Posted by
CupCake
No offense to anyone but geezz some parents are way to overdramatic....
um...yes. reading over this thread I'm like...wow.
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Re: Told the parents... didn't go over well... will they get over it?
yea I probably won't tell mine until I have bought a house or something monumental.. not sure why, it just doesn't feel right yet.