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Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I'm pretty upset about this- I've never heard anything like it before. My daughter's teacher recommended that she repeat kindergarten. I got the news over the phone because I was out of town due to family issues.
I honestly don't know whether to fight this or not. The first few weeks at the school, she was doing well. Then after about 2 months she got written up a couple of times a week- I took away the tv, toys, practically everything but it still persisted. She would be good one day, then the next day she would get in trouble for talking (that is what 90% of her notes home were about).
I will be honest and admit I am embarrassed by the whole idea. When I was a child, I skipped a grade and went from K to 2nd. I know she can't be like me, she doesn't have to- she was born very premature and they prepared us to expect possible developmental issues. But she never had any health issues all this time. She passed all her tests and didn't need any help when she was a toddler.
In the middle of the year the teacher gave us a list of things she was having trouble with- I went home and got her to learn almost everything. Now the end of the year comes and they drop this bombshell...saying her maturity level is what convinced them she should repeat the grade.
I was all ready to fight it anyway I could, even trying to find summer school programs but I can't find any for grade K.
The so-called 'Learning Centers' around here are just play-all-day daycare stuff.::)
The one person I confided in told me she may need Ritalin. Her father won't even entertain that idea. Any advice?:'(
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I think its common in more schools than other, particularly private. I wouldn't be insulted by it. I think the teacher was looking out for the best interest of your daughter and had good intentions herself. In fact, a lot of parents are starting to hold their kids back in hope that it gives them the extra competitive edge later on and thus leads to some fancy college. She may just need more time to adjust to the structure of school. I personally think Ritalin is far prescribed too often for when teachers don't know what to do with a student. Its like a cure all for them and I've seen many students who just needed a little more time to adjust.
Not to toot my own horn but I repeated kindergarten twice. However, this was a private school where it was very frequently done. I ended up graduating high school early, being a member of Mensa (usually I won't admit it but it was already mentioned on the "mensa stripper" thread), and getting into some top 20 schools. Holding me back a year definitely didn't hurt anything.
On the other hand, it sounds like your teacher is being overly strict and trying to force kids into the routine too quickly. I teach middle through high school so I'm no expert on the early grades but it sounds ridiculous to expect a young child not to talk that much. I would be more afraid of turning them off from school. Only you know your daughter the best. If you think shes ready for 1st grade do it and if that school won't go elsewhere.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I am a retired teacher, but before I comment I must ask this:
Is your Kindergarten full day or half day?
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
^^ Yes, I wondered that to...maybe she is just bored, and needs mre challanging work to occupy her, and she is acting otu and talkign because she is just bored.
I also think ritalin is far to overprescribed, and would ue that as only a very last resort.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
could she possibly be a higher intelligance kid? boredom = talking and disrupting others. i wouldnt assume add just yet, theres so many other things it could be.
what does your daughter say about her behaviour? is she bored? or just doesnt want to do the work?
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Ritalin is not the only drug for ADD any more, and it is not even the one most prescribed. Years ago, I think they were prescribing medication for ADD WAY too often, but I think today this is not the case. Prescribing a medication is somethig a doctor does, not a teacher. Or your friend, for that matter. If it is a maturity problem, medication is not going to help. If it is ADD, another year of age is not going to help, either.
Oh, one other question I should have asked above. When is your daughter's birthday, and what is the cutoff day for Kindergarten in your district? What I mean is that there is a date when children younger than that date wait until the next year for Kindergarten. It is usually around October 1. This is called the cutoff date.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I was held back in kindergarten. I don't remember that far back, but I didn't like the idea then. I talked allot and was pretty disruptive. I was young for my grade at the time, and when I was held back I was one of the older kids in my grade.
My mom told me that the other kids would ask why I got to stay in the front of the class and color while they did math problems or whatever. They thought I had a learning disability or something, but in the end I think I was out of control. I was made to see a therapist, take a ADD test, and an IQ test. I was offcourse diagnosed with ADD, but they found I had a very high IQ as well. My folks decided that they didn't want me on Ritalin. I ended up taking Adderall in college and still take it now. I like the medication, but I don't like the side effects. I take a small dosage that is a happy medium between effectiveness and side affects.
I would suggest waiting on ADD medication. If she starts now she might end up taking it 12+ years. I think it leads to other drug abuse and such (that is only my observation). I think it creates a mental dependency on pills. The idea of having a pill for everything.
In the end I guess being held back was a good thing, but is changing schools an option when/if she is held back? I don't think it was a big deal after elementary school to me.
As Gretchen said I wouldn't take it personally the teacher is prolly looking out for her. Like her my school was also a private school. I am in MENSA as well, but I did not finish high school early or go to a top 20 school, I partied too much. =)
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Can you find a school that offers a pre-first program. The grade school I went to offered it for childrens who weren't quite ready for 1st grade but ahead of kindergarden
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I would reccomend not fighting it. At that age, it's difficult to determine what "grade" they should be in and it's often best that their teachers find the peer level that think your child will learn best with. Don't look at this necessarily as a failure on your part. Look at it more like a development in your child's life that will ultimately be for the better.
May I ask how old she was when she entered Kindergarten?
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I'm going through this exact same thing this school year, only we've had ongoing meetings regarding the possibility since the middle of the school year. I can't believe they dropped the bombshell on you ofter school was out instead of giving you progress reports throughout the year.
My sons birthday was right before the school cut-off. Being young and not knowing any better, we sent him to school less than a month after he turned 5. I wish we would have waited. We're holding him back this year at the recommendation of his teacher and because we really do think we made the mistake of placing him in school too early. We notice his immaturity at home too. He wasn't necessarily disruptive in class, but he didn't like to stay on task for homework time and stuff like that. He is right on target academically though, so I'm looking forward to him being one of the smartest kids in his class. He'll know stuff he should be learning at the end of the year when he re-enters kindergarten next year.
I'm not even considering taking him in for ADD/ADHD tests. He's way to young, just a kid.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Thank you to everyone that responded.
She turned five years old on the 20th of August...2 weeks after the start of Kindergarten.
The class is full day, 8:30am to 3:15 pm.
She did not get to attend preschool for a full year, only a few weeks. The city I lived in before did not have any more space for free preschool. So after I got the money to put her in a pay school- we left after a short while because her dad came back from his tour overseas.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ivory0211
I'm going through this exact same thing this school year, only we've had ongoing meetings regarding the possibility since the middle of the school year. I can't believe they dropped the bombshell on you ofter school was out instead of giving you progress reports throughout the year.
My sons birthday was right before the school cut-off. Being young and not knowing any better, we sent him to school less than a month after he turned 5. I wish we would have waited. We're holding him back this year at the recommendation of his teacher and because we really do think we made the mistake of placing him in school too early. We notice his immaturity at home too. He wasn't necessarily disruptive in class, but he didn't like to stay on task for homework time and stuff like that. He is right on target academically though, so I'm looking forward to him being one of the smartest kids in his class. He'll know stuff he should be learning at the end of the year when he re-enters kindergarten next year.
I'm not even considering taking him in for ADD/ADHD tests. He's way to young, just a kid.
I'm guessing that is what happened with our daughter- I never even considered the possibility of her waiting a year. I didn't even realize people did that until I started doing some research online.
When we met with her teacher, she made a list of things that our daughter needed to learn like her address, recognizing number words, knowing third, fourth, fifth etc.
When I had her at home before going to kindergarten she was learning words, numbers, colors, shapes and writing sentences. When I brought workbooks it wasn't until then I realized I skipped over a few of the basics- but it was nothing she couldn't correct. The teacher made it seem that if she learned the things on the list, she would be caught up. No mention of her behaviour or her being disruptive.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gretchen
On the other hand, it sounds like your teacher is being overly strict and trying to force kids into the routine too quickly. I teach middle through high school so I'm no expert on the early grades but it sounds ridiculous to expect a young child not to talk that much. I would be more afraid of turning them off from school. Only you know your daughter the best. If you think shes ready for 1st grade do it and if that school won't go elsewhere.
First grade, in most schools, is much more structured than kindergarten. Frequent outbursts and disrupting the class that often will most surely end up making any little one miss quite a few recesses and be labeled "troublemakers" by their classmates. My son already comes home saying so-and-so doesn't listen to the teacher, etc...
Kindergarten incorporates fun and games into it's learning lessons whereas first grade is much more sitting and homework. If there is any question of maturity problems, I would suggest holding a child back for that extra year.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Alexis81
Can you find a school that offers a pre-first program. The grade school I went to offered it for childrens who weren't quite ready for 1st grade but ahead of kindergarden
I never heard of that but I'll look into it. Thanks Alexis.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mermaidnz
could she possibly be a higher intelligance kid? boredom = talking and disrupting others. i wouldnt assume add just yet, theres so many other things it could be.
what does your daughter say about her behaviour? is she bored? or just doesnt want to do the work?
When I ask her, she doesn't say much- she just says she was talking to her friends.
The way the teacher described it, she says it's like she doesn't realize school is time to work, not to play.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Please don't drug her!! Her little brain is still developing. She doesn't need to be stoned in order to behave. It does sound like a maturity issue and I know plenty of kids who have repeated kindergarten for that reason. I had a couple of classmates who did when I was little, and my baby brother did. My brother (who is now 12) had the same issues as your daughter; he'd get up and wander around when he wasn't supposed to, or strike up a conversation with someone else, etc. His second year of kindergarten went much more smoothly because he had matured a little more. He's getting ready to enter middle school now and he's perfectly fine.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PleasureVictim
Thank you to everyone that responded.
She turned five years old on the 20th of August...2 weeks after the start of Kindergarten.
The class is full day, 8:30am to 3:15 pm.
She did not get to attend preschool for a full year, only a few weeks. The city I lived in before did not have any more space for free preschool. So after I got the money to put her in a pay school- we left after a short while because her dad came back from his tour overseas.
So she basically started Kindergarten at age 4 (and then turned 5 right after)? That's probably part of the issue there. There are parents who hold their kids out til they're 6 before starting Kindergarten. Probably best for her to repeat, she'll be with kids that are more her true peer level.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Yeah, it sounds like she started too early and her teacher is probably right. Although I agree with above poster, they probably should've given you more warning about possibly holding her back. Also, I think a full day kindergarten is tough - a kid who's never been in a school environment would have a hard time adjusting to that, and at such a young age.
It is also very possible your daughter has a high IQ and is bored with school. I had that problem all through K-12, because the work was simply not challenging enough and I needed something more to occupy my mind. It wasn't until I was in 6th grade and complained to my teachers about the classwork being too easy, and ASKED for more that they finally started doing something for me. They gave me some tests and realized I was way out of my grade level. Fortunately most schools are a bit better about that kind of thing now, though. Point is, if your daughter continues her behaviour in school it is probably a good idea to get her tested - she may need more challenging work.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
^^^ Same here. I caused tons of problems in kindergarten because I was bored shitless. I was already reading books with chapters and the other kids were learning their ABC's, so I'd just slack off and irritate the teacher for lack of anything better to do. This persisted throughout my school years until I was in tenth grade and my parents put me in a private school with challenging honors classes. Until then I was always in trouble because my grades were shit; I just couldn't be bothered with doing the work because it was dull. They tried to skip me twice but my mom didn't want me to be that much younger than everyone else, so she vetoed it. Grrr.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Well, it's normal to hold a kid back if they're lacking social skills or plain ol being in school skills. The school should be able to tell you very specifically what it is that's wrong, like she can't sit still, she can't assimilate information, she uses physical aggression when she should be able to verbalise, etc.
If it's an issue of how she learns I would consider home schooling or a private school that caters to different learning styles.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
OK, here is my opinion, given with the caveat that I do not know either the child or the teacher.
Maturity is the only really good reason for a child repeating a year of school. If it is curriculum that was not learned, that can always be learned at a later age. Repeating what the child already got once and did not get the first time is usually a waste of time; the material should be presented in a different way at the very least.
But your child was VERY young for a kindergarten student. The younger they are, the shorter is their attention span. This is NOT the same thing as ADD and does NOT need to be medicated. It is NORMAL to have a shorter attention span when you are four than when you are five. Of course, the difference is between an attention span of at most 5 minutes and an attention span of at most 15-20 minutes, both of which are so short that most adults would not notice the difference.
If a child IS to repeat a grade, the very best time to do it is when they are very young. There is less stigma, and the child does not know yet that it is "normal" for most children to move on. The child is much more flexible in making new friends, and "BFFL"--"Best Friends For Life" have not yet been established, so having old friends move on is not such a tragedy. It is MUCH harder to repeat, say, fifth grade, when, especially for a girl, your friends are everything.
The reason I asked about half day and full day Kindergarten is that if a child is going to repeat a grade, and that grade is Kindergarten, it is usually better to go on to a full day first grade and then repeat that if needed. There is twice as much school in a full day, so, no surprise, children learn more in a full day Kindergarten than a half day Kindergarten. That is not an issue with your daughter.
Friends of mine live in a school district where they test the children entering Kindergarten, then make one of three recommendations: Wait a year; attend a special pre-Kindergarten year, then enter Kindergarten; and go directly into Kindergarten. The recommendation for that child was to go to the special pre-Kingergarten class, and they took that option. Last year, that boy graduated from college.
The year your daughter just finished might be regarded as that pre-Kindergarten class. Now, she might be ready for the Kindergarten class and able to learn more from it.
Try to not regard this as an insult or a punishment, but as an opportunity. When your daughter enters first grade NEXT year, instead of being one of the struggling, low, most immature students, she will be one of the top students, and one of the most mature. She will have a much better chance of success.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
She's a KID, for crying out loud!!! What does the teacher expect? I don't know of very many kids (including my own daughter) who can sit still and stay quiet for longer than a few seconds. Children learn by DOING...by playing. A teacher who is complaining that a 5 year old talks too much in class has never learned this, obviously. This is why Makayla doesn't go to public school...this is why we've chosen to send her to Waldorf...where children are encouraged to learn the way that children naturally learn.
I would fight it. This is not like High School where she knows better (of course, even then, I was a big talker and so it was really hard to not talk whenever I wanted). This is kindergarten. There is no such thing as "maturity" in kindergarten. They're not supposed to be mature in kindergarten.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
Some kids just need that extra year. It's not a big deal. Really. :)
It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with your child, it just means they need a little extra time. I mean fuck people, we're talking about 5 year olds, not 15 year olds. :)
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I thought this was a really interesting thread and I thought Utah Mike's advice was GREAT!!! And remember- he's an expert. I would definitely have the child repeat kindergarden, as it will be easy for her to make friends with her new classmates next year because all of the students will be new.
It would be harder if she were held back another year...
Also, it may be irritating that the teacher waited so long to present this suggestion to you, but you need to do what's best for your child and I would want my child to get the best start in school as possible.
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Re: Do you know any kids left back in school because of maturity??
I'm with everyone who said she might be smarter. I talked a lot (still,uh,do) and it was because I bored shitless. School couldn't teach me anything. I wanted more. I ended up failing most of my classes in rebellion because the stuff was too easy I didn't see the point.