'Friend' pressuring me for sex
>:( I have a 'friend' who has done a really big favor for me. He first said there would be no strings attached but he changed his tune recently and has started to try and guilt me into having sex with him.
I'm more than willing to pay him back financially but this 'friend' is a total ass (He's says that since I 'put' out as a dancer, I should be willing to do him one 'small favor') and doesn't take no for an answer. I've declined him many times and now we have a strained uncommunicative relationship.
I would love to break off contact with him and let things be but I have some unfinished business with him that needs to be completed before that. This is a potentially delicate situation, does anyone have any advice?
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
He is a PIG!
sorry i dont have any advice
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Without knowing why it's a delicate situation, I can't give you any advice... I guess, if I had to give blind advice, I'd advise you to break out your stripper persona to use that fucker for the "unfinished business" and then drop him like a hot potato.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
He's helped me get out of a legal bind. Of course, I'll pay him back financially but he keeps on mentioning the other thing. I told him in the beginning that sex was not part of the deal.
My plan is to break off is to only make telephone contact with him and be totally calm and businesslike. Then when things are completed - drop him as the pot potato he is.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
That aint a friend, cut your ties NOW! Dont speak to him ever again, just continue to pay back the financial debt regularly without actually having any contact with him.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aussiepunkshocker
That aint a friend, cut your ties NOW! Dont speak to him ever again, just continue to pay back the financial debt regularly without actually having any contact with him.
i agree with most of that.
that "person" doesn't deserve the title "friend" because it demeans the rest of the people that truly are friends.
but since you have that "delicate situation" hanging over you i would be more inclined to use bella's advice but make sure you pay him back financially. that way there's no chance of any IOU bullshit. no honey, only money. :P good luck!
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Is anything going to happen if you don't pay him back? Unless it was in writing, you can say it was a gift. If the situation was all done and taken care of, I'd fucking not pay him back. He's a piece of shit.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Quote:
Originally Posted by
VegasPrincess
Is anything going to happen if you don't pay him back? Unless it was in writing, you can say it was a gift. If the situation was all done and taken care of, I'd fucking not pay him back. He's a piece of shit.
Amen! >:(
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Quote:
Originally Posted by
luvbuniz
>:( I have a 'friend' who has done a really big favor for me. He first said there would be no strings attached but he changed his tune recently and has started to try and guilt me into having sex with him.
While I am a guy and don't agree with that at all. Did you not think that could happen?
Quote:
I'm more than willing to pay him back financially but this 'friend' is a total ass (He's says that since I 'put' out as a dancer, I should be willing to do him one 'small favor') and doesn't take no for an answer. I've declined him many times and now we have a strained uncommunicative relationship.
If you give in he'll keep trying and want it more. Don't.
Quote:
I would love to break off contact with him and let things be but I have some unfinished business with him that needs to be completed before that. This is a potentially delicate situation, does anyone have any advice?
If the business is unfinshed will you either:
a) Lose money that you can't afford to?
b) Be in trouble with the law that you don't want to happen?
c) Be in trouble with 'the wrong people' who would punish you?
How long will it take to finish completely everything you need from this guy?
Can he stall the unfinsihed business? Can he hold this over you FOREVER to get what he wants?
If he can:
Is he married/ in relationship that having sex with you could jepodise?
You need to find a way to control him. Stuffing up his life/marriage is the easier option BUT there will be risks massive risks. And it means dealing with him more.
Unfortunitly I think you'd need to ride this out and just keep telling him no. Keep all finanical records to show that your paying him what you owe him. I hope there's a solid paper trail.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
This dude obviously is only a poop stain on the underwear of life. Friends don't pressure you to do things, especially when said things were previously discussed and bounderies were set. You've done nothing wrong, he has. Just do what you said, be very businesslike when you talk to him and as soon as you get him paid off block the dude from calling you.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Does the fact that he helped you out with a legal issue mean that he's an attorney? If so, tell him to send you bills and you'll pay him off over time as you have the money. Tell him if he tries to collect "payment" in this other form you'll report him to the bar. What a fucking asshole.
And if he's not an attorney, just tell him to fuck off and you'll send him money for payment when you have it.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
I'm afraid I don't have much advice--just want to send my support. It makes me sad that this idiot is pushing this, but you are holding on to your dignity and handling it well I think. I don't know if it is appropriate or how the relationship is now, but it may be worth, when he presses this, asking when he stopped thinking of you as a human being...because treating you like this is essentially ignoring and disregarding your freedom and soul. I doubt that you'll be able to call up much conscience in a character like this, though.
I agree with what others are saying here--walk away from it and pay it off and keep your head held high.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Thanks for the support everyone. It's really sad that true male friends are few and far between. I'll be more careful from now on and I definately won't be seeing him since he might be dangerous alone.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
I would say don't even communicate with him via the phone! Stick to email and text messages... something that further puts a good distance between the both of you without being totally uncommunicative (due to the fact you are still obligated to pay him back).
He isn't a friend. Not by a long shot.
Re: 'Friend' pressuring me for sex
Quote:
Originally Posted by
luvbuniz
Thanks for the support everyone. It's really sad that true male friends are few and far between. I'll be more careful from now on and I definately won't be seeing him since he might be dangerous alone.
If your instincts are telling you he might be dangerous, I think it is worth it to listen to them--his behavior indicates no real concern for you. I think Gold Coast is right...text or e-mail at a minimum.
There are good men out there, and it is sad to me that this offers you evidence to the contrary. I often feel that, understandably, after situations like this, women become suspicious of men forever...and are then unable to recognize when a good man comes along--friend or romantic. So I hope that, beast that this character is, he doesn't close your heart to well-meaning men...to well-meaning people: then he really would damage you. And he is not worth it.