I start crying uncontrollable Friday. I felt as if my soul was tearing apart. I felt disconnected from my boyfriend. I was really going threw an emotional thing, The next day was no better! I felt horribly worst. Sunday I cod not get out of bed.
SO you guys know, I love my guy( we will call him dan for his privacy). I tried to reach him all weekend during these crying burst.
Monday I was so sad and did not get out of bed. My phone rang, I could not answer it because It took me to long to get out bed. So I check the message they left me.
" Hi, this is ***** I calling you because Dan wanted me to speak to you. I don't know if you know but he died friday.
I than start crying again, and I call him back, althought when I call him back I could not understand a word he was saying, I then call his mother. She told me she was sorry that they had no way to get in touch with me. She was talking but I could not understand her also!
So I cried and scream than later that night return her phone call. I found out he had a heart attack. I ask how yet they say he had fluid build up in his heart. I was shock he never told me about this! I near he had a heart mur-mur,
Well to make things worst, since thier will be a close casket. His ex wife and children will be there, she dose not think it will be best for me to come to the funurel. Here am I crying and sobbing, I am thinking in my head. No she did not just tell me not to come because of her! so i told her I cant sya good bye to him! She said if I send a prayer to heaven. He will hear me. Then she tried to console me.
So you guys know I just met his mother. In June, he wanted me to come meet his parents. She seem wonder when I met her so nice and loving, when we left his home state. I guest they thought I went to my house to unpack. Yet I was staying with him at his place. They call him and said just dont get her pregnant. I thought they like me. I guess not enought! Any how he was angry with them for a bit but made up. But they still felt he should not get me pregnant. So you guys know he did want to have another child.
But I guess I am hurt because I am not allowed say good by. I can see if I stole him away from his wife. She left him, and that was 2 and half years ago. Why would she give a shit if I was there, I so angry about that!

