Horny Horoscopes!!! Gemini-Virgo
GEMINI
May 22 - June 21
Ruling Planet: MERCURY
The swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultr-extreme raunchy talk
Talking about sex is Gemini's favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second.Gemini's love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for.They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway,
serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant.
FAVE POSITION
As long as it's different every time, they're not fussy, but if they must choose, it's that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to.
BEST SEX TOY
Any illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild, new ideas
GEMINI MALE IN BED
He likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive.
He's a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he'll be very happy.
(*NOTE*...Talk a LOT dirty Please...LMAO!!.................~.Big John)
GEMINI FEMALE IN BED
She is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possiblefor her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car....
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON GEMINI
Focus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you're headed for the good books. They love a good
massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine!
Kiss up and down each of your Gemini's arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps,
then you know you're doing something right.then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it's a lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working!
CANCER
June 22 - July 23
Ruling Planet: THE MOON
Which isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this water sign's many mood swings!
Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex and Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who either get pregnant at the drop of a hat or take longer than usual. All Cancers WANT to be parents!Cancers become sexually excited when they feel secure. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner!
FAVE POSITION
Any position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on their back with all their sensitive areas exposed!
BEST SEX TOY
A drink or joint that will relax the overly-cautious crab!
CANCER MALE IN BED
He is a sensitive lover and will put his partner's needs before his own. He has a tenderness about him that drives women wild!If the Cancer guy decides he's in it for the long haul, he'll do whatever it takes to keep his lover happy in and
out of the bedroom. Oh, and he's a BREAST man!!
CANCER FEMALE IN BED
She oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and kissing will win her over, so as you're nibbling on her ear, whisper "you're so beautiful" to get her quivering. Perhaps the Vincent (Big Brother) growl would work on a Cancer woman?
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CANCER
Concentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get them going.Start by kissing and brushing up against them.
Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her, but don't 'dive right in' coz you're likely to scare her.It's the complete opposite for the Cancer male who will LOVE it if you get straight to the point. Squeeze his pecs and bite his bod and you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time!
LEO
July 24 - August 23
Ruling Planet: THE SUN
Which isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it's the centre of our solar system!
Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretlyhigh-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they're about to have, it's a show! They like to perform... and they take requests!
"Doing it" is the ultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise
for their outstanding performance.
FAVE POSITION
Receiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced!
BEST SEX TOY
A camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring... or perhaps you can use them both together!
LEO MALE IN BED
You are the King of the Jungle and expect to be treated that way! You are a good lover because you don't like to fail at anything. You are sexy and have an aura of sexiness
that is difficult to deny. But, you will let anyone adore you, so your partner has to make the effort or you will pad
off to your next Lioness!!
LEO FEMALE IN BED
You are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You're a once in a lifetime experience!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEO
A Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull.
I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cats love, it's a scratch! After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into a snakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff!
VIRGO
August 24 - September 23
Ruling Planet: Mercury
The God in charge of intellect and speed... but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!!
Virgos have two sides to their personality. The Virgin and the Vixen. They may want you to THINK they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely NOT!However, Virgos are looking for a long term partner, not a one night stand or an affair! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and sublety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!! Once Virgo has been in a relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things like that, which
can cause a serious dip in libido. Do NOT let this happen! They are definitely more of a "can we cuddle instead"
sign that a 'let's get it on!' one when committed.
FAVE POSITION
Almost anything, as long as it involves eye contact!
BEST SEX TOY
It's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a bowl. Get Virgo to pick one out at random, and then do what you're told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality!
VIRGO MALE IN BED
You can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a woman should be. You don't mean to criticize or offend, but your perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some kinky ideas though, but it is difficult to get to the bottom of your passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get u into the habit of sleeping with her, who knows what might happen?
VIRGO FEMALE IN BED
You are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you really do fantasize about getting down and dirty! You are a secret romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover doesn't exist, you'll take what you can get!
You are quite insecure and need a partner who will adore you. You have strong passion beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to unearth it!
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON VIRGO
Virgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna make them putty in your hands, stroke, lick and kiss their stomach!! The area from the bellybutton DOWN! Once you have them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just remember to keep one hand on their tummy at all times!!
Horny Horoscrope!!! Libra-Capricorn
LIBRA
September 24 - October 23
Ruling Planet: Venus - The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring sensuality
Libra is one of the sexiest signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't get what they want from one lover, they will opt for two! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. They'll look you in the eye and say "never cheat on me, coz I would never do it to you", even when
they have a hot night of passion planned with someone else!
Librans are more turned on 'giving' than 'receiving'. They have a big heart and are the least selfish sign of the Zodiac.
Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies.
They'd rather say nothing than tell the truth and offend or embarrass you. In bed, it takes a while for them to be comfortable enough to tell you exactly what they want.
FAVE POSITION
As long as they are lying down, they're happy!
BEST SEX TOY
K.Y. Jelly. I will say no more!
LIBRA MALE IN BED
The Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be very keen to do it in kinky places like a restaurant toilet! He likes being a bad boy if there's a chance he might
get caught. He'll try out any fantasy you have, but whether or not you can keep a tight hold on his heart remains to be seen. However, he can be a bit of a pushover, and is perfect husband material, and he'd prefer his lover to take the lead. He is romantic and considerate!
LIBRA FEMALE IN BED
The only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's between their legs!Libra girl wants a strong man who understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath. Good personal hygiene is crucial if you want to get to 2nd base.Librans are very good at lying to get their own way. When your Libra girl groans in bed, look into her eyes to make sure she's not 'faking it'.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LIBRA
Libra's Love Zone is their lower back and butt, so please, squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance. When you're kissing, reach under his or her top and stroke the lower part of their back, starting in the middle and working your way down to their butt. Take your time
and be gentle! To really drive your Libra wild? Have you ever heard of the term 'Rimming'???Does it surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay?
SCORPIO
October 24 - November 22
Ruling Planet: PLUTO, The Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship.
Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room.But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them.
You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power
and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling.Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.
FAVE POSITION:
Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.
BEST SEX TOY:
Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys
SCORPIO MALE IN BED
His sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy,you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing u do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex.
Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!!
SCORPIO FEMALE IN BED
She may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom.Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get u back, and it's a game
of one-upmanship you will never win.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIO
Since this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB.
SAGITTARIUS
November 23 - December 22
Ruling Planet: JUPITER, God of money, luck and good times between the sheets.
Sagos are playful, laid back and oh-so fun to party with. They are wild, and may be the BADDEST party people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT! Don't believe everything they tell you because they are kings at 'talking it up'.Sagos probably make better friends than lovers, but if you happen to score a one-nighter with them,be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done before!Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public.
When they find the right lover, they will give it 100% as long as the commitment is returned.
FAVE POSITION:
They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity.
BEST SEX TOY:
Handwrite a sexual fantasy of yours and leave it on their pillow. You'll be surprised at what happens next!
SAGITTARIAN MALE IN BED
Even if he's fat, balding and middle aged, he can still pull the chicks. It's his love and pursuit of happiness that draws the babes to him. Think "Austin Powers" baby, yeah!
He is a wee bit selfish though, so be prepared for an "all about me" attitude in the sack. He LOVES doing it,
and if you start holding out on him, he's likely to get it somewhere else.He will either amaze his partner with his sexual expertise or be absolute trash in bed!
SAGITTARIAN FEMALE IN BED
The Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more often than she shaves her armpits, is blunt, oversensitive and takes offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom and also has no problems cheating if her needs are not fulfilled. But can u handle her open-minded sexuality?She will hide her emotions from you, but don't make the mistake of hiding yours from her.
She's looking for someone she can trust 100%, but is quite hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SAGITTARIUS
Hips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in between! Don't be afraid to ask your Sago if you're doing it right coz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is to grope their inner thigh in a public place!
CAPRICORN
December 23 - January 20
Ruling Planet: SATURN - The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!!
Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money.
Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to!
FAVE POSITION:
Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind.
BEST SEX TOY:
An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat.
CAPRICORN MALE IN BED
Imagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too.BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you.
CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BED
She is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with
different venues to keep it interesting.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORN
Capricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it
or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region.
Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming
Re: Horny Horoscrope!!! Libra-Capricorn
ummm why are you making more than one thread about this? maybe if you wanted to, yanno, put it all together, you could use a normal size/color font. ::)
Re: Horny Horoscrope!!! Libra-Capricorn
i Tried And It Wouldn"t Fit So I Decided To Split In Equal 3 Parts
Re: Horny Horoscrope!!! Libra-Capricorn
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tasty
SCORPIO
October 24 - November 22
Ruling Planet: PLUTO, The Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship.
Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room.But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them.
You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power
and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling.Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out.
FAVE POSITION:
Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass.
BEST SEX TOY:
Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys
SCORPIO MALE IN BED
His sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy,you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing u do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex.
Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!!
SCORPIO FEMALE IN BED
She may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom.Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get u back, and it's a game
of one-upmanship you will never win.
THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIO
Since this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB.
Okay the bits in bold are the bits as a person who considers herself to have alot of Scorpio energy astrologically speaking disagrees with...
I'm actually naturally a submissive in bed than a dominant. Granted, it is the power play (as such) that is a turn on. I understand it and love it.
Plus only insecure Scorpios are possessive. I'm loyal to a fault to those who I choose to partner with or even to be actual friends ..... possessiveness only happens when I'm insecure (low self esteem). Otherwise I'm the one pointing out the hotties :devil:
Otherwise I like the rest of it :) paints me in a great light !