Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Well I'll be...:O
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Tall Caramel Light Frappucino with whip are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Personality type: Hippie
In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks chai latte with soy should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.
Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities
lmfao! id love a bacon cheeseburger! i just think chai tastes better with soy
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
NM, it says the same thing about Hot Chocolate.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
It's sad how accurate that it. I'm pretty intolerable and I -DO- talk about myself a lot and drink martinis.
Although my drink was simple - double cappuccino, small glass, room temperature.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink double espresso are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better
Ha ha ha ha ha it called me an asshat! Other than that, it's not correct at all! I just like my double espresso--won't buy anything else there.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink grande tan mocha are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Haha, the oracle rocks :D
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: High Maintenance
You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.
Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars
The sad thing is that its true except for the martini part. I'm actually a scotch drinker.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Pseudo-intellectual
You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters "just in case it's true." All people who drink tazo chai tea hot are potheads.
Also drinks: Sparkling water
Can also be found at: Designer grocery stores
I AM NOT A POTHEAD, I just like it (LOLOLOLOLOL)
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks tall steamed apple cider.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
- Reasonably accurate, except I hate V8 and I cuss like a drunk sailor in a whorehouse. :D
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
i got high maintenence too.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
I drink nonfat lattes
Personality type: Fat
You're always worrying about your weight. That's because you're fat. You're constantly whining about problems that are your own fault. You are a total pain in the ass.
Also drinks: Diet RC Cola
Can also be found: On Jerry Springer
jeez lol... I just drink them cause I don't like sweet things and they're cheap! The nonfat is cause I'm trying to counteract the french fries I eat at work!
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
This cracked me up!
Personality type: Clueless
You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink Grande Mocha non fat are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
why do so many responses involve strippers? are they tracking their click throughs to here?
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
My order
a shot of espresso in a regular coffee tall. I love coffee and milk hates me. I don't like sugar in my coffee either.
This makes me laugh though.
*edited to add* I think most philosophy is wasteful tail chasing. I do indeed wear glasses since I am moderatelyly near sighted. I have de-emphasized the accent in my name since my family has been in America for five generations. Trinidad doesn't have a coffee shop though the Starbucks stand is about three weeks old inside the Safeway. I can't stand the french and not even delirious with malaria would I be shouting angry liberal ideals; except to denounce them.
Other than that I thought it was funny. If totally off base.
The all-knowing Oracle of Starbucks
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Asshat
You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink espresso shot in a tall coffee are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.
Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Yekhefah
Behold the Oracle's wisdom:
Personality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks tall steamed apple cider.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
- Reasonably accurate, except I hate V8 and I cuss like a drunk sailor in a whorehouse. :D
At least I have good company!! I have spurts, kids around, weird words, no kids, swearing like a stormtrooper when need arises.
I only like V8 Hot and Spicy, but it has too much salt.
Re: The Oracle of Starbucks
^^^ Spicy V8 makes an excellent soup base. When I make soup I often use a can or two of Spicy V8 thinned with water or broth. But to drink it? Yech, no!