How would you handle this ? (Long)
Recently I took my nephew to the yoga studio I work at..
I was shocked at how many of the instructors and other people I worked w/ started hitting on him !! I had talked to many of them about his ADD/ depression and how I thought the yoga would be good for him. One of them even gave him her phone # !
Anyway, I tried to ignore most of it since he is 18 now..However the shit really pissed me off, it seemed totally disrespectful and just plain wrong.
All of the ladies are close to 30 or older..I ended up calling the 1 who gave him her number and telling her how I found her number just to see what she'd say.
She and I had talked numerous times before (she's an "ex" stripper)
I never mentioned my nephew while talking we were talking. The convo was weird and she keep talking and talking even though I made several attempts to get off the phone.
I knew she was feeling guilty or at least busted ! I felt like I'd handled the situation with her and left it alone.
So a few days later while I was at the studio another one of the chicks who hit on him, walks up to me and tells me how she had a dream about my nephew..I went left !! I told her I didn't want to hear it and how I felt she was being totally inappropriate..She didn't take heed to what I was saying and kept going on..Until I said "Look, you and I aren't that damn cool, and I feel like everyone has taken my kindness for weakness..blah, blah"
At first she got really catty with me and said a few smart ass backhanded comments . I handled them but, she wouldn't let it go ! I finally replied if she didn't stop talking to me I was going to pounce on her !!
All of a sudden she instantly changed, started kissing my ass and following me EVERYWHERE. After class she kept complimenting me on my postures.
So I was completing surprised when I got a call from the manager asking me about the incident..She went in there playing the victim role, she told him she was scared of me and even mentioned the phone # incident..
I tried to handle it as well as I could with him because the stupid cow had even spoken w/ the owner ! The story gets even better..You see the chick who gave my nephew the # is his girlfriend, she is a total slut ! But he's in his mid 40's and just blown away by the fact that someone 15 yrs. younger would even be interested in him..Plus from what I've heard she's great in bed..We all know that tends to cloud one's judgment..;)
Anyway, I feel totally angry with the whole situation..Yet, I feel the need to walk on eggshells or should I ??
The situation gets deeper..See I'm going to teacher training and I had to get recommendation from the owner in order to attend. The mgr. has been wanting to attend for a while but, can't come up w/the $$.
Many people are pissed that I was able to fork out $10,000+ and I've been getting a lot of bullshit about it ! I've dealt with it and haven't held anything back when I do. I'm just surprised at the jealousy..I'm not that way and can't relate. Also, I need to teach 75 hours before I can open my own studio, which is one of my 2008 goals..So I don't want to burn any bridges.
Also, last week I wanted some :bong:and I knew from past convos that this one guy might have some.. He did but, it was at his place.
I followed him there to get it and leave.. But, he invited me inside..the 1st thing he said was I could sleep over instead of making the drive back home (which he kept mentioning throughout my time there).
That to me translated to I want some ass.. Which I kept in mind while we ate,etc..So we started talking and he brings up the slutty teacher that gave my nephew her #. See they were dating (which she told me about), apparently they had met at teacher training and built a strong connection. Later she started seeing yet another guy and went back and forth between the 2 of them..before finally sneaking around w/ the mgr.
Anyway, this guy is really hot and extremely spiritual ( like me) he even meditates several hours a day..I had liked him before I ever knew of the previously mentioned BS.. He has a nice body and what looks like a good sized member from what I can tell in yoga bottoms..Anyway, I ended up going home that night and pretty much blowing him off.
So I saw him yesterday at the studio and we talked for a bit. We took the same class and he was teaching the next one. He's a great teacher and I always like taking his classes..
I ended up working the desk because the person who was supposed to do it never showed up.
While I was behind the desk he starts telling me about how I working myself too hard and I need to just chill because I'll be burnt out for teacher training. I totally hate when people do that ! >:(
I thanked him for his input but, let him know I was ok.. He later got the mgr. involved, so they're both discussing me while I was standing in the middle..Finally I got mad and said I'm a grown woman and don't need anyone to "daddy" me !
After class he complimented me and which felt really good. I got his number ( I never programmed it in my phone and it was bumped out of memory) and we made plans to do something this week..I like him but, I don't want to get to involved in all this yoga drama.. Plus my mgr keeps hitting on me on the sly, accidentally brushing against my boobs and telling me how good I look all the time..All of this has been totally unexpected and I really don't know how to handle it.
I was originally going to post in "Ladies Only" but changed my mind, as I'd like male input.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
So, of all the things in your post which thing are you asking for input on?
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Wow, sounds like there are a lot of issues to deal with here. First off no man, especially your manager, should be rubbing up against your breasts at work, that's sexual harrassment. Secondly, it sounds like you are protective over your nephew. I mean, he's 18, they are 30. They are both at their sexual peeks in their lives. He is legally an adult so it is okay if they ask him out. I don't personally agree with the one woman going back and forth between your manager and your nephew. However, both of them can make a decision as to whether they want to be involved with her or not. I think what I would do is just go about my business. If you need get into a confrontation with the woman who was/is seeing the manager I believe you'll deal with it then. Just lay low for a while and don't entertain a lot chit chat or gossip about the situation.:-\
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LuckyOne
So, of all the things in your post which thing are you asking for input on?
Take your pick, some, all..the choices is yours..I know I should've broken it several threads maybe.
But, it just started pouring out and I decided to roll with it !
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Your nephew is 18 and you're calling the girls numbers that they leave for him? You're not his mum.. and he's not 14. You don't want anyone to 'daddy' you, but you're 'mothering' someone else, who is also an adult.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
greenidlady1
First off no man, especially your manager, should be rubbing up against your breasts at work, that's sexual harrassment.
I totally agree..My boobs are rather large and people are constantly bumping into them,rubbing against them,etc. It's something I've gotten used to.
So I don't react quickly when it happens..It's just happening too often with him.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lysondra
Your nephew is 18 and you're calling the girls numbers that they leave for him? You're not his mum.. and he's not 14. You don't want anyone to 'daddy' you, but you're 'mothering' someone else, who is also an adult.
I didn't want to make the thread even longer so I left some info out, she and I had discussed a lot of other things..We had talked about my sister and her husband and sex, his penis size (my bother-in law's) etc. (We talked about alot of personally shit that I don't freely share w/people..
I liked her as a person..)
Immediately after our convo she walks up to him and gives him a big hug, that's also when she gave him her ##.
As a yoga instructor there isn't suppose to be that type of contact between the members, it's not allowed AT ALL ! Also she had told the mgr. she didn't want him to take her class anymore because he wasn't focused..Something the mgr. told me...So which one is it ?? She's playing bizarre fucking games, IMO..
Lastly, I've raised my nieces and nephew when their parents died on my own since I was 17 ! So damn right I'm mothering them..That's the MAIN reason why I dance..most people on this site who've known me for a while already know this. Which is why I didn't include that in my post..
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Nephew is 18, he's an adult now. You can be concerned, but you can't stop. If you like the yoga guy, hang out with him. But he sounds creepy.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Hi FH,
I'm not sure I can be a lot of help here, but maybe I can speak to one aspect of your thread: I see you have a parental responsibility toward your nephew, so of course you would be concerned about him. I think you are right to be. I would make the situation as transparent as possible: there are many dynamics flying around with these people and I would give him your impression of the women hitting on him and be honest about it and then let him be a man and make his own decisions. But I do think it is important he knows how you feel: I'm sure he respects you as an aunt and as a parental figure, since you have been caring for him.
When I was a year older than him I had an affair with an English teacher of mine in college who was thirty-four. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. She was beautiful: she was also still married to a gay man, a very important doctor: she lived in an apartment, away from him, but still dressed in very beautiful clothes to go be his "wife" when he wished her too. I of course developed feelings in the middle of all this craziness--and had no one to talk to about it. Finally, when I began to break away from it she told me she had been raped at her apartment...and I found out soon afterward she had staged the rape to get me back into her life and also gain the sympathy of the husband. It turned into a real mess, and I learned a lot of lessons from it, but I do not wish such lessons on your nephew.
I shouldn't have been in bed with the woman. But at that age, a guy is a walking hormone. Nothing wrong with that, but given the wrong situation, it can be something that changes his life, and not in a good way.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Katrine
If you like the yoga guy, hang out with him. But he sounds creepy.
Yeah, I've been trying to feel him out.. I don't think I'm going to go that route. It sounds like it'd be a disastrous move on my part..I'll just fuck him in my mind !}:D Until something else comes along along to take his place..:P
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Most yoga guys I've met are pretty creepy, but I don't want to stereotype.....
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jhuka
Hi FH,
I'm not sure I can be a lot of help here, but maybe I can speak to one aspect of your thread: I see you have a parental responsibility toward your nephew, so of course you would be concerned about him. I think you are right to be. I would make the situation as transparent as possible: there are many dynamics flying around with these people and I would give him your impression of the women hitting on him and be honest about it and then let him be a man and make his own decisions. But I do think it is important he knows how you feel: I'm sure he respects you as an aunt and as a parental figure, since you have been caring for him.
When I was a year older than him I had an affair with an English teacher of mine in college who was thirty-four. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. She was beautiful: she was also still married to a gay man, a very important doctor: she lived in an apartment, away from him, but still dressed in very beautiful clothes to go be his "wife" when he wished her too. I of course developed feelings in the middle of all this craziness--and had no one to talk to about it. Finally, when I began to break away from it she told me she had been raped at her apartment...and I found out soon afterward she had staged the rape to get me back into her life and also gain the sympathy of the husband. It turned into a real mess, and I learned a lot of lessons from it, but I do not wish such lessons on your nephew.
I shouldn't have been in bed with the woman. But at that age, a guy is a walking hormone. Nothing wrong with that, but given the wrong situation, it can be something that changes his life, and not in a good way.
Thank you for your post..It's good to here from someone whose been through this..
Many of my SO were older than me growing up and it's easy to feel like the "chosen one" in that type of relationship.
I had spoken with him about her and he understood my concerns.
Partly it was the age difference but, I was also bothered by the women
themselves. One was 2 weeks away from her wedding date & the one who gave me her # is constantly telling me how she thinks she's pregnant.
So that leads me to believe she is not using protection when she sleeps around. Yuck ! Safe sex is number 1 w/ me.
I'm lucky that even though my nephew gets on my very last nerve..LOL
We have a very good relationship and value each others opinions.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
You sound like you're doing a good job with him...couldn't have been easy stepping in as parent at age 17. I salute you.
I agree it is a good idea he stay away from both of those women...I'm glad you shared your feelings with him. Good luck with all of this.
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jhuka
You sound like you're doing a good job with him...couldn't have been easy stepping in as parent at age 17. I salute you.
I agree it is a good idea he stay away from both of those women...I'm glad you shared your feelings with him. Good luck with all of this.
:thanx:
Re: How would you handle this ? (Long)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Katrine
Most yoga guys I've met are pretty creepy, but I don't want to stereotype.....
Yeah, don't do that you might get :flamed: ! LOL