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factors that play into deciding where to live
i'm graduating after this semester and have been thinking a lot about what to do next.
on one hand, i love my apartment. i love where i live (right where i grew up). i love being close to my parents and everything i've always known.
on the other hand, i love the beach. i've been seriously thinking about moving to one of the delaware beaches close to ocean city. bethany or something. it's so pretty there, and i'm so happy and way less stressed out when i'm at the beach. the problem with that is if i'm away that far and i don't like it, it isnt like i can come home. also, no more dancing. there are very few clubs in de, and i dont know of any near where i'd want to live. AND the job i'm thinking about after graduation (even though i'm not sure if i want it) is in baltimore.
on my 3rd hand (yes, i have 3 here, haha) i love new york city. its one of my favorite places ever. i could still dance, and find a job closely related to what i want to do. the expense, though, would be a lot more than i'm used to. and there's still the issue of being away and if i don't like it, what then?
part of me thinks stay with what i know and what i'm comfortable with. staying home means i'm stable and i'll have a job, dancing or otherwise. and it means my parents bail me out whenever i need it. the other part thinks i should stop being a baby, i'm graduating college and i should try to do things on my own without stability for once.
so how would you decide if you were me? when i weigh the pros and cons against each other they're all kinda equally big. i know there are some girls here who have made some big moves (kaylinn, lysondra, and some others come to mind) and they've all done it for different reasons. but how do you decide?
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
So you really want to move but you are scared. This is what I would do, you love the beach in DE but there are no clubs and what you're going to college for there is no jobs, that right there would make me say no, I don't want to live there because if there is no job there for your college then what's the point. If you move to New York then yeah, it's going to be more expensive but you say you love it, there will be a job there for you and dancing, you are also going to make more in NYC to kinda equal out the expense difference.
I go with what you said, if you really want to then yea, go for it and try something new, like you said about getting away from your parents and growing up, you have to sometime and you are lucky you have them, i've never had help from my parents, my mom passed away and my dad has never been there so it's probably harder for someone like you to move away after having your parents support. I'm sure if you decide to move and you need your parents then they will help you with anything that you need help with.
Also, since you love the beach in DE it's not like you can't go visit on occasion when you want to get away from any stress, or if you just want to go relax there. Just give it some thought, the pros and cons of everything and what makes you happy.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
michele_b
Just give it some thought, the pros and cons of everything and what makes you happy.
well, i did that. they're all pretty equal. i love both extremes, the peacefulness of the beach, and the craziness of the city. thats why it's hard to decide. not to mention, like i said, i love it here, too. i practically live in a bubble, haha. everyone who grew up here calls it the colum-bubble (it's columbia). its a planned community, one of the richest counties in the world, and bad things seem like they dont happen here. that sounds stupid, but its a pretty nice place to live. i like all of it. so how am i supposed to choose?
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
Is there any way you can look at other jobs in other areas? One that can support you post stripping and after graduation.
My mom actually moved here a year before me. It did suck not seeing her for over a year but I moved down here not because of her but because I really liked it here. Moving away from your parents isn't so bad. You still have the phone, letters, and email to stay in touch. Its not like you'll never see them again either. Besides, who is saying you need to stop being a baby? No need to pressure yourself into things. Go at your own pace and you'll know that moving is for you or not at this point in your life.
Anyways....
My factors are:
safety
weather
stuff to do
schools (I'm still in community college)
cost of living
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
britt244
well, i did that. they're all pretty equal. i love both extremes, the peacefulness of the beach, and the craziness of the city. thats why it's hard to decide. not to mention, like i said, i love it here, too. i practically live in a bubble, haha. everyone who grew up here calls it the colum-bubble (it's columbia). its a planned community, one of the richest counties in the world, and bad things seem like they dont happen here. that sounds stupid, but its a pretty nice place to live. i like all of it. so how am i supposed to choose?
It sounds like you live in a good place already and that you are happy then, but you want a change at the same time but you're afraid you're not going to like it or you're going to get stuck if you move. You're like me, I love the beach and the city, I tried living in Myrtle once and I hated it, but it wasn't a peaceful beach, way too many tourists and people, I like a more quiet beach to relax on so I left Myrtle and came back to Charlotte, Charlotte is a great city but me and my boyfriend both want out of NC and want to go up North either to Baltimore or NJ where his family is. We were just in Baltimore at the Inner Harbor earlier this week and we liked it.
What I would do, I would go for it because i'm a very spontaneous person and it's something new, a new environment and all, and I would choose NYC in your situation because of your job and all because that's very important, and the beach isn't far from NYC so you could probably go there about whenever if you wanted to and got the urge to just go.
Also, you're already up north and if you just want to stay where you are with your job since you already like where you are, then you can take days and go to the beach and go to NYC. I don't know you or really the area where you live, but just give it some thought, talk to your friends and family about it, see what they have to say. Good luck in everything.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
TigersMilk
Is there any way you can look at other jobs in other areas? One that can support you post stripping and after graduation.
My mom actually moved here a year before me. It did suck not seeing her for over a year but I moved down here not because of her but because I really liked it here. Moving away from your parents isn't so bad. You still have the phone, letters, and email to stay in touch. Its not like you'll never see them again either. Besides, who is saying you need to stop being a baby? No need to pressure yourself into things. Go at your own pace and you'll know that moving is for you or not at this point in your life.
Anyways....
My factors are:
safety
weather
stuff to do
schools (I'm still in community college)
cost of living
i was really unhappy living by school. i went home every weekend. thats one of the reasons im scared to move away from them. but now i live about 15 mins from them and i dont feel like going home very often at all. i do go one a week for dinner usually though. so i'm not sure if it was being unhappy in my shitty apartment, plus a combination of other things, or actually missing home.
as for the other things, its a toss up!
like, cost of living. its super cheap in delaware. its super expensive in nyc.
but, jobs. the opportunity for better jobs is there more in nyc than in de. and i couldnt have dancing to fall back on. (i dont want to stop dancing right away, i'm only 22 and i want that extra income.)
i might not *need* that extra money living in de, but i would want it.
weather, it would be gorgeous at the beach. i think i'd get bored there in the winter, though. new york, i can deal with the cold because it gets cold here in md too, but i dont really like the cold.
so thats my problem. some things totally outweigh the others but then there are others that balance them out. i'm afraid to make the wrong choice!
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
i think you should take an extended trip to all the cities you like, get to know the city and decided from there. find an apartment with a short term lease so that way if you end up not liking it you can bail. also, here is a useful tool on cost of living in cities....you do have to consider down the road you may not want to dance and you dont want to be stuck with high rent!(especially in NYC)
http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/costo...tofliving.html
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
SexBomb
i think you should take an extended trip to all the cities you like, get to know the city and decided from there. find an apartment with a short term lease so that way if you end up not liking it you can bail. also, here is a useful tool on cost of living in cities....you do have to consider down the road you may not want to dance and you dont want to be stuck with high rent!(especially in NYC)
http://cgi.money.cnn.com/tools/costo...tofliving.html
well, the beach, ive been there for long periods of time my whole life. there's never been a summer where i havent lived there for at least 2 weeks. summer is pretty much the same. the problem is i'd have to stay there during diff seasons etc.
i've never lived in nyc. i've stayed there at diff times and always loved it. but yeah, living there would be different.
as for a short term lease, that would be hard. they are usually more expensive, plus moving expenses. i couldnt just uproot my life all the time if i wanted to move again. i know some people do that but i'm not one of them. plus my kitties. i cant move them around all the time, its not fair to them.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
What about subletting? Most of the places are fully furnished to move into right away. Stay for a few weeks or month or two and then move back home or get an apartment there.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
^ that's a good idea. i'm just worried about liking it at one time of year and not others. like, i know i'd be happy at the beach in the summer. and i know i'd be happy in nyc in the winter even though i dont like the cold.
bah. this is hard. it makes me nervous thining about it.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
britt, while living in NJ may seem far, it could be from a 2-4 hour drive to get to NJ/NY. I guess what I'm trying to say is that that time is still reasonable compared to like other who lived in one part of the country and moved 3/4 of the country away.
if family is important to you that you want to be able to go home/parents come up, then I would make a 2 hour drive-time diameter from where your parents live and see what options come up.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
LOL my mind changes with the wind and I'll move cross country or even across oceans at the drop of a hat. I just go by what I think sounds good at the time, and if I don't like it I go somewhere else. No sweat. IMO, having parents to bail you out is more of a hindrance because that way you never really get out and do YOUR thing. You're always tied to that umbilical cord...
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
also, they recently ranked the most safest/dangerous cities in america. http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...ime-list_x.htm
safety would be a concern with me. also, look up the sex offender registry where you plan to move. look up crime stats in the area. i did a search on an apartment that i liked and found out 2 rapes had been reported there in less than a year. EEEEKK!!! the cheap rent isnt worth it!!!
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
G-Real
britt, while living in NJ may seem far, it could be from a 2-4 hour drive to get to NJ/NY. I guess what I'm trying to say is that that time is still reasonable compared to like other who lived in one part of the country and moved 3/4 of the country away.
if family is important to you that you want to be able to go home/parents come up, then I would make a 2 hour drive-time diameter from where your parents live and see what options come up.
2 hours won't get me far from my parents. it'll keep me in md, haha. or parts of de that i wouldnt want to live in. or pennsylvania. i dont want to move just anywhere, its really between de beaches and nyc. and for me, who sees my parents weekly and lives in the town where i grew up, moving 4-5 hours away to ny is kinda similar to someone who has no relationship with their family moving cross country. ya know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Bridgette
LOL my mind changes with the wind and I'll move cross country or even across oceans at the drop of a hat. I just go by what I think sounds good at the time, and if I don't like it I go somewhere else. No sweat. IMO, having parents to bail you out is more of a hindrance because that way you never really get out and do YOUR thing. You're always tied to that umbilical cord...
i agree. thats why i feel like im being a baby and i need to get away from my parents. i need to do things on my own for once! i wish i could just go all over the place like you do.
another big thing is work. i dont want to dance forever. i eventually want to teach. but i dont just want to teach anywhere. no public schools for sure. the place in baltimore specializes in autistic children with a smaller population of other brain disorders. that's my dream teaching job. it makes me want to stay here, but on the other hand i don't want to be tied here. i HATE baltimore. i know i dont live there but i feel like i need a change.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
britt244
another big thing is work. i dont want to dance forever. i eventually want to teach. but i dont just want to teach anywhere. no public schools for sure. the place in baltimore specializes in autistic children with a smaller population of other brain disorders. that's my dream teaching job. it makes me want to stay here, but on the other hand i don't want to be tied here. i HATE baltimore. i know i dont live there but i feel like i need a change.
my father works for a private-school for teens with learning disabilities. they advertise in magazines that specialize in education/special-ed, I don't know the names of the schools, but would it may make sense to get names of potential employers and start looking from that angle?
also there are alot of private organizations out of there, but, they are non-profit (non-profit usually = less pay), that you could get hired for.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
Bridgette
LOL my mind changes with the wind and I'll move cross country or even across oceans at the drop of a hat. I just go by what I think sounds good at the time, and if I don't like it I go somewhere else. No sweat. IMO, having parents to bail you out is more of a hindrance because that way you never really get out and do YOUR thing. You're always tied to that umbilical cord...
That's right Bridgette, n I'm the same way.
22 is the age to make it happen.
NYC...I dunno, you will just have problems if you are not willing to be %100 totally self-suffiencient, or if you are not able to go a long time without calling up someone close to you just to vent. Because you might need to do that on a tri-daily basis. Oh and you'd have to sell your car.
And moving to N. Jersey is no solution, as it is crazy expensive, hard to rent a place when yr young, etc. etc.
I moved from N. Jersey to Albuquerque on a whim when I was 19, packed everything in the '91 Camry and WENT, but my situation was a lil different than yours... I had NO contact with fam, NO help, and N. Jersey is just so tough to make it on your own. (I wasn't dancing at the time however.)
It was truly the smartest thing I ever did for myself.
But I know if I was close with family, I'd want that instead. You shouldn't do something just to "prove" something because you are "all grown up now" if it's going to be a major hassle emotionally.
OTOH, I say do it. Go somewhere else "just because" and try it.
Mixed msg, but you might find stuff you never knew you were missing, or it might go to hell, but there's only one way to know for sure, and you owe it to yrself to kno for sure.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
I think Del would be nice but it might be really really boring during the winter..and isn't Bethany beach kind of far from all strip clubs like you said? I think NYC would be tooo big of a difference straight off. What about staying in Col. and working in DC instead of Baltimore. I don't really like Bmore either so I see where you are coming from!
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
Hmm why not Jersey? lol I was born in NY but I can't live there, the noise! seriously, I know you get used to it but still. I don't know what to say sweety I took off when I was 18 from PR to here and I stayed, if it were up to me I'd move to like Florida or something but you are young, no kids (I think) try a few places and then decide.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
Alaska
And moving to N. Jersey is no solution, as it is crazy expensive, hard to rent a place when yr young, etc. etc.
I moved from N. Jersey to Albuquerque on a whim when I was 19, packed everything in the '91 Camry and WENT, but my situation was a lil different than yours... I had NO contact with fam, NO help, and N. Jersey is just so tough to make it on your own. (I wasn't dancing at the time however.)
It was truly the smartest thing I ever did for myself.
where did you guys get jersey? (not just you, a few people mentioned it) i dont want to just go somewhere. i had reasons for the places i was thinking about... and yeah, i would never have no contact with my family or anything. that just wouldnt happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NatalieFRPhilly
I think Del would be nice but it might be really really boring during the winter..and isn't Bethany beach kind of far from all strip clubs like you said? I think NYC would be tooo big of a difference straight off. What about staying in Col. and working in DC instead of Baltimore. I don't really like Bmore either so I see where you are coming from!
ha well i never plan on working in baltimore again! i dont want to leave my club either, when i leave here i will leave dancing if i'm still in md. i definately dont want to dance in dc. and yeah, there are only like 5 strip clubs in de and theyre not near that area.
its not anything i can just get up and do like bridgette does. first off like i said that isnt fair to my cats. and i would never give them up. and since i want a stable job that isnt just dancing, i cant just go where ever i feel like it.
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
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Originally Posted by
Bridgette
IMO, having parents to bail you out is more of a hindrance because that way you never really get out and do YOUR thing. You're always tied to that umbilical cord...
I totally agree. Moving away from home was THE BEST thing I ever did for myself.
My factors are...
How good is the shopping? (indicates a lot of things, really!)
What's the nightlife like?
Can I get good sushi?
What's the weather like?
Can I afford to live well, not just get by?
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
Uh I threw in Jersey because sometimes it's a consideration for ppl who want to work and be in Manhattan all the time, but would like to pay $1,000+ for rent instead of $2,000+ for rent and keep your car, too...:P
Things up north aren't the hillbilly version that is south Jersey you may have experienced being around the MD/DC/PA/DE region...
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
^ oh, ok. well.. there were reasons why i picked the places i did, and i wouldnt make a big move to a place that wasnt one of those two!
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
Yea "as a solution" meant solution to being in NYC, not solution to life in any old apt. or anything...and yea, having lived in N. Jersey my whole life, and working in/partying in NYC the last few years, I can honestly say being a resident there is a dream, a dream that I can make happen IF: I work FT for the next 3-5 years and save, and continue to work pretty much FT when there. I think I will do in in the future, but I wanted to go to college first so that's why I came to the southwest. But good luck, but it just sucks how you can be so damn close the city for years and still feel it's a "fantasy." The $$ situation is brutal, and it's not just rent or parking or the cost of things, fines and fees flying outta nowhere in everyday life, that's just how it is there...
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Re: factors that play into deciding where to live
Things change.
For the bulk of my career I was a metallurgist working in a specialised field. Every 3 - 4 years I'd decide to change jobs, and would end up moving 200 miles to another town/city. First couple of months were always a bit gutty, cos I had to make new friends, but it was always interesting moving about.
In addition, I'd quite enjoy going back to places I'd worked in the past and keeping in general touch with people I knew there.
In the end I changed careers - I now work in IT - and it was easier to get jobs in the same area. Add to that I met a few people I didn't want to lose touch with by moving out of the area, and I decided I no longer wanted to move around.
Maybe the wanderlust will return in the future, but at the moment I'm happy being on one place.
Phil.