yay! im glad everybody likes my line :)
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Just to clarify, I wasn't advocating sitting there for another song and bugging the shit out of a guy for a cheap dance. My rebuttals, when I use them, are cute one-liners and often work. Anything beyond that is too much energy. And I agree, spending any significant amount of time (more than a sentence or two when I still think I can bag him) to turn around a no is a waste of time.
^^^ I'm the same way. After he says "no" or "maybe later," he gets two more sentences out of me (which work a good amount of the time) before I say, "Okay, I'll come check on you after a while!"
I've found that soooo many guys who were initially a little apprehensive actually end up buying multiple dances once I get them back there. Once they're halfway through the first song, they forget all about how they said no initially and only evaluate me based on the awesome dance they're getting from me.
I say, "Ok, well let me know if you change your mind. I'll be on stage X pretty soon and I'd love to see you up there." Then I pat them on the knee and make my exit. The next time I'm on stage I give them some eye contact and wink and they usually come up to tip, which sometimes leads to the private dance. Sometimes guys just need some time.
The thing is, I can spend those same 1-2 sentences or one-liners on another dude and get the same sale, plus usually more because he was actually interested in the first place. If all I'm selling is a dance I'm not spending anymore energy than an intro and maybe a one-liner before I ask, and if he says no I'm off to the next dude. I only spend minutes or real sentences if I think he's worth a vip ;)
^ agreed. I used to overhear this girl constantly asking customers who refused her, "why not?" obviously that will never work, but often time convincing lines just aren't worth the time, imho.
Bridgette, what is your approach? Do you just sit down, introduce yourself, and then ask? And then if the guy says no do you just go to the very next one or do you go across the room or what?
I'm just wondering because I know you sell a lot of dances. I do too, but I'm always interested in ways to spend less time chatting them up.;D
If you think there is money there and want to close the sale but it's not currently available. Throw a line to hook them later. Maybe something like "Keep your eye on me" and smile. Every person would be different. Ask them at least one question. Cowboys fan? Just so you can get an idea. Women tend to point out my blue eyes, it gets my attention. But I am here to learn not do. lol This is an intricate business.
I love Britt244's line,"you're breaking my heart". I've been using that for years with alittle variation:
>I ask for a dance/ guy says no: If it's a guy by himself, I say, " Aghh, you're breaking my heart..." as I grab my heart dramatically with a big smile on my face the whole time, as I'm getting up, then lean over in his ear and ask, "Can I come back for you later?" followed by big eager smile. This makes me looks submissive and makes them feel in control. Guys eat that up.
>I ask for a dance/ guy says no: If guy is in group, I stand up and make a big production of it so I get all his friends attention, too. Loudly,"Aghh! You're breaking my heart, baby! (rubbing my fist under an eye for pretend tears) You're damaging my fragile ego!! Help me pick my self esteem up off the floor!! I can't believe you won't come dance wth me... What am I going to do now?!" All the time smiling and laughing alittle, obviously teasing him playfully. I also wink at his friends and I am kind of walking away. ussually he's so embarressed in front of his pals and doesn't want to look like a cheap ass he says, "Okay, come on." laughing, too. Or, his friends will buy the dance for him with some sort of, "How can you turn this hot ass chick down?" line. Or take me themself.
This has never failed me.
I love it when a guy says no. It's oppertunity for hustle and a challenge. The key to cutomer skills is being confident without being conceited/cunty. Sweet without being sucker/stupid.
I started dancing (big swallow) nine years ago in a club that was a no hustle kind of place. "you want a dance?" "you want a dance?"" thanks for the tip on stage, you want a dance?" You get the idea.
My friend and I would compete on the bad nights to see who could get the most 'Nos'.
I now and have for years worked in heavy competition and hustle clubs.
There's nothing worse then a bad night when all you hear is 'no' over and over. By the time that one guy that you can bank off of comes in, you're so over being there that you're not your pleasant, chipper, 'here to please you big daddy' entertainer self.
If I find ways to not let the 'nos' get me down, it doesnt hurt my money later in the night. I like the challenge. (not really but i keep telling myself that).
Some of my responses:
>Guy says,"I just got here."
I say,"Oh, Okay. Have a few beers. Im going to go have a few shots. I'll come back for you and and we'll have a REALLY good dance later."
>Guy says,"That's not my thing/ I dont normally get dances."
I say (smiling, as always)," You can't come to a titty bar and not play with any tittys!! You gotta get a dance, come on now... dont be THAT guy!!"
I'm alittle rude to this one beacuse if youre not spending money on dancers please go to the sports bar. Or does our beer really taste better? Hmm...
If that doesnt belittle him enough to bust out wallet...
I say, " It's cool baby if you dont do dances, I understand. (uh, not really) But Im sure youre a big tipper. Can I have a tip for my time?"
They always tip. Then I follow with:
"Thanks, come see me on stage, okay?"
Then on stage I make lots of eye contact, wink, wave, throw a shoe at 'em if i have to to get 'em out of thier chair.
Mission accomplished. I got your cheap ass to give me money twice. haha.
>Guy say,"No thanks/ Not yet/ Still looking around/ Maybe later."
I say, " Sure, baby. Don't hesitate to come get me when you're ready and I'm all yours. I'd really like to be your first/next dance."
This is good because if theyre shy, theyll wait until youre standing around with your thumb up your ass to approch you and you now have something to do, yea!
Or, if they are ballzy, theyll interupt you at another table/person, which makes you look in high demand. Weather you leave or not depends on the cutomer you happen to be with. If youre not making much, go, go, go.
>Guy says,"I'm waiting for/ with/ looking for someone else, but maybe later."
I say," Oh, Im so sorry. Thats really great of you to stay loyal to her. Why dont you save a dance for me when you're all done. Im a great finish for your night(wink)."
>One line that I save for certain occassions on a hard to convince guy (I feel the guy out first and know for a FACT he has money): "Try me out, if you dont like my dance you dont have to pay for it." ( I work at a club that doesnt take a cut of my $) The guy usually says," I know Im going to like it" or " I'll pay you anyway." or "I like your confidence, lets go." Its risky, but I have ALWAYS been paid. I'm very confident in my dancer skills. I used to say," If I dont get you hard you dont have to pay me." But Im now working in a club with an older clientel and viagra is not on the menu, hehe.
I could go on and on with senerios, but the point is to:
a) Have a comeback. Walking away pissy ruins ANY chance you had at getting thier dough later.
b) Dont let regection get to you.
c) At the very least, get a tip.
d) Be memerable. The next time they come in they'll recognize you.
f) Have fun with it. Think of it as practice or a challenge.
Hope this helps. Stay positive. When you smile it lights up the room! I love you all.
If I am sure that they don't want a lapdance at the moment, I usually say, "well let me know if you change your mind later if I'm not busy! It was great talking to you (if we talked). Have fun!!"
However, if they seem wishy-washy, I tell them they won't regret it or they need to be relaxed or just, in general, how good my lapdances are. I say everything with a little smile, though, so as to try not to seem pushy/arrogant.
yeah i think it def. matters how you look to other guys in the club. if you come away from a short conversation looking rejected and sarcastic, you might sour it for the next day. there are always gonna be other dudes who are checking you out/wanting you to come their way, so as soon as you get your no, push it as much as you want, and still get no, act like its perfectly normal (which it is) and you're not bummed and THE FUN IS JUST BEGINNING.
i used to feel very awkward about being turned down for dances, bidding the guy adieu, and turning around to face the room and start fresh. it just felt so strange, to go bouncing from guy to guy. but then i realized, im a stripper, thats my job.... smile, start fresh, like you've never heard the word no.
sometimes i get turned down & approach a guy and he'll ask me, what that guy didnt like you, or smth. and i say "it's no thing, everybody has different tastes or "he's waiting for lila.....shes hot" and act like i want to eat lila w/a spoon (which i could). paves the way for sexual/dance conversation, complimenting other dancers usually gets you compliments like "well you're sexy too" and makes it look like you aren't catty or bitter about your coworkers.
Great tips LollipopGirl, and all of you.
When I walk away, I always try to make sure they remember my name... and combine it with some comment to remind them to come tip me on stage.
"I hope I'm not too busy to come back and see you later. As long as none of these guys snag me for a champagne room, you should be able to come see me onstage, Don't forget, my name's Desiree"
A lot of the time, I snag these guys coming off the stage, or they randomly see me walking around and just grab my hand and tell me we're going for a dance.
It depends, but a couple lines I've had luck with:
A guy with a group, and I'm in dominatrix theme, complete with bullwhip, and the guy I'm working says "I can't! I'm here with my boys!" I'll turn to the table and say loudly, "Aw... Isn't that sweet! Little Mikey here is afraid to leave his wittle friends!" in a baby-ish voice. Then I'll lean conspiratorily to the guy next to me (not Mike) and say, "I think he's scared of me!" Then of course the guy I just spoke to passes along what I said to the rest of the table and they all start teasing Mike about being chicken. So either Mike buys a dance to shut them up, one of the guys buys him a dance, or one of the other guys will be like, "I'm not scared. Let's go!" (That also leaves me a good opening when I get back to the table with the guy: "So who's my next victim? Anyone else got the balls to take me for a ride?") (BUT, I can do the insulting teasing because of my theme... Don't know how well it would work otherwise.)
If he says he's there for another girl, I might ask him who and I'll ALWAYS say, "She's such a sweetheart! I just LOVE her!" or make some compliment on her. Then I'll say, "Well I'm sure she'll take good care of you. You have fun with her!" and then I bounce. One reason I do this is because I feel like continuing to hustle him is cut-throating, and I won't do it. BUT, usually one of two things will happen: 1)He'll tip me well next time I'm on stage, or 2)He'll come get a dance from me after he's done with her, usually saying something about how he thought the dance with her would be better than it was. I guess for me the important thing here is to be very classy and encouraging... After all, at LEAST he's spending money on SOMEBODY, so I act the way I would want another girl to act if he were waiting on ME. And men remember classy women. I've "stolen" a regular or two from another girl because they appreciated the fact that I complimented another dancer and was so cool about not hassling him when he was "hers"; they will often have their fun with cokehead psycho-bitch, but they'll go to the classy one when she's either not at work, or when they realize how crazy/mean/stupid/trashy she is. In other words, I'm there to be the best entertainer that *I* can be. I'm not going to poach on another dancer's custy, because I know that if he's smart, he'll come back to me in the end. (And part of that is egotistical confidence affirmation, but it does work well.)
Usually if it's an individual, I'll just pay attention to what excuse he gives. If he just gives a flat "no", then I'll usually say, "Okay. Well if you change your mind, just let me know," and then bounce. If they say they're about to leave, I'll say, "But I just got here! <pout> Well, I'll be here tomorrow night, too, so you'll have to come back and see me when you've got more time to spend with me, okay?" If they say they just got there or need a few more beers or whatever, I'll say, "I'll check back with you in a bit then, okay?" and then leave.
Now these are my pet peeves: If they start off by asking for extras, I say, "Sorry, baby... I don't do that," and then I bounce. A lot of times they'll grab my arm and be like, "Where you going?" I'll give their hand a look like, "If you don't move that, I'm going to rip it off," and if anything, I say, "You're not worth my time," or "You're not worthy of me." I won't dance for someone who starts off asking for extras UNLESS they come find me and humbly apologize for being such a dick. Otherwise, they're more trouble than they're worth. (And it hardly needs to be said that such guys pay up-front and have to pay the "asshole rate": $40 a dance instead of my usual $30.)
My other pet peeve: Guys who try to negotiate LD prices. "But Sugar told me it was only $20 a dance." Me: "Well we're allowed to charge whatever we want for our dances. She charges $20. I charge $30 for one, or you can get $10 off if you buy two." Him: "That's too expensive! Can't we work a deal?" Me, with a withering glance: "No. Please excuse me. I've got to go make some REAL money." (Sometimes these guys will come up and ask for a dance later. They pay up-front, and they will often tip me or pay me extra.)
My goal with pet peeves is two-fold: 1)To get away without wasting any more time, 2)To remain classy AT ALL TIMES, and 3)To express my displeasure to them in such a way that they MIGHT be shamed into a realization that their behavior is unacceptable. #3 (when it works) helps the other girls in the club, as the men will (usually) be nicer when encountering them. It also helps me on the (admittedly rare) occassions when they return to get a dance. Most guys are unaffected, but some guys will realize that they crossed a line and will feel guilty about it, and as long as you handle it with class (and not like psycho stripper-bitch), they'll usually buy a dance or two as a means of atonement.