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"Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
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Originally Posted by
The Other Owner
Oh God, Susan, please tell me he didn't actually say, "hair pie." :O
And then there is the old favorite from guys so old, feeble and disgusting that you don't even want to be in the same room with them: "I can't cut the mustard anymore, but I can still lick the jar."
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Susan Wayward
Of course someone actually said that. Though "silly shit guys say about oral sex" should probably be its own thread as this one was started with a somewhat higher purpose.
...and the first nominees are:
1. "Baby, I like dining at the Y!" (a.k.a. "DATY")
2. "Excuse me miss, do you mind if I butter your muffin?"
3. "Can I eat your taco?"
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
I think "may I polish your pearl?" was from a sex therapy class filmed for a Bullshit episode but the boy and I jokingly throw it around. Still a classic none the less.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
"I like to gum pussy. Do you want to be gummed?" followed by a showing of his hollow toothless mouth being mashed up and down in an unappealing manner.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
What's even worse is the two fingers spread across the mouth and the tongue waggle. What is this? Thats suppose to be attractive and instantly make me weak in the knees with desire?
Umm. No.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
hah! i do that as a teasing to guys who are l0ooking, but not tipping while I'm at stage. i think they like the supposed raunchiness of it.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Oh, the two-fingered tongue waggle is always a classic. Totally gets me hot. ::)
In high school this guy said he had something in his teeth, and asked if he could "dive down for a floss." The same guy would constantly brag about his "muff-diving" skills.
Oh, and in college I was at this frat party talking about Southern food (which you know is pretty close to an obsession with me). This dude looked pointedly at my crotch and said, "Hey, I like to eat Southern too!" I'll admit it, that one did make me laugh, but it didn't turn me on.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
When Im dancing for guys I hate it how they say "I would eat you out for hours until you couln't take it anymore". Why do they think the promise of oral sex will win me over, they know i dont want to sleep with them but they think promising hours of licking and ill hand over my number.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
We dive at 5 no muff too tough!
nuff said
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
My fave was this cowboy "Mmm girlie! I could eat you like you've never been eaten before! I'd even eat your pooper!"
Oh-my-god....I must have you now.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^That's my personal favorite. Pooper's so very appealing. :(
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Yekhefah
Oh, the two-fingered tongue waggle is always a classic. Totally gets me hot. ::)
In high school this guy said he had something in his teeth, and asked if he could "dive down for a floss." The same guy would constantly brag about his "muff-diving" skills.
Oh, and in college I was at this frat party talking about Southern food (which you know is pretty close to an obsession with me). This dude looked pointedly at my crotch and said, "Hey, I like to eat Southern too!" I'll admit it, that one did make me laugh, but it didn't turn me on.
Cute, at least he put some thought into that.
" Eat'choo like a rib" made me laugh - but you have to imagine the southern drawl in it. Totaly makes it.
Bang you like a screen door in a hurricane - got me to laughing as well.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
ahh, K that reminds me.... I had this one time "wanna do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal"
Ofcourse I had to ask "You screw farm animals? :O"
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
When I first met my fiance he told me I tasted and smelled so good he would move in and live in my pussy if he could fit. He is 6'5 270 and i told him we would have trouble if he could fit!
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
"I'd eat it dead". Dead? Why would I want my vagina to be dead?
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
"Girl, you don't even need to wipe, you get with me"
Bleh. I felt dirty on the inside after hearing that one.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ExoticEngineer
ahh, K that reminds me.... I had this one time "wanna do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal"
Ofcourse I had to ask "You screw farm animals? :O"
OMG, were you in Utah? This guy from Utah once said to me, "I'd like to bend you over the sunny side of a plow and do things to you most men wouldn't do to a farm animal."
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
This thread is hilarious. LMAO
Love the southern joke, Yek. :)
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Heh. Yeah. That guy was full of witty-cheesy lines like that... we also got to discussing my Jewish heritage and I told him I'd converted, and he said, "Oh, so you don't actually have any Jew in you?" I said no, and he just gave me this big smile and asked, "Would you like some?" *groan*
Honestly, I might've actually slept with that guy but I was already in a monogamous relationship at the time.
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
NONE of those work?! Seriously?
Fuckin A. Why are you even called WOMEN, should be called "Rubix Cubes"
:D
"I wanna lick your front butt"
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mastridonicus
"I wanna lick your front butt"
:rotfl: Oh God
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
Ahahaha, front butt! That's what I called it when I was little! I haven't heard that anywhere else, I just always thought I was the only weird kid who used that term!
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
I'm surprised no one has brought up "the man in the boat" yet. So many offers have been made regarding the manipulation of my "man" in my "boat," I probably can't remember them all. I think my favorite was when someone offered to "cheer him up." I replied, "He wasn't sad until you got here. I think if you go away he'll be adequately cheered."
Seriously though, "cheer up the man in your boat?" Who comes up with this?
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
^^ Variation thereupon: "Paddling your canoe".
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Re: "Silly shit guys say about oral sex" (inspired by Susan Wayward)
"Mind if I...double click your....mouse?!" *SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTT*