being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Did an amateur contest tonight. I usually don't; I just audition by myself and start work that night. Easy and quick. But tonight I did my first contest since...well...my very first contest ever, at my first club. :P
The club was awesome. I didn't go in expecting to win anything; I just wanted to audition and get hired, and I did. Everyone got decent applause and stage tips...except for the girl who looked so much like me that three house girls asked me if we were sisters/related. Only difference? She couldn't have weighed more than 90 lbs. So she's basically me but smaller, and therefore a lot more attractive. Every guy in that room fucking drooled all over themselves, screamed their lungs out and brought down the house for her...and of course she placed and made about $495287453 in tips. And she didn't even take off her underwear. Funny, that was me a little over two years ago, total flashback to doing the contest and working at my first club. I was her size then, and it was me getting all the attention and $. And making money was as easy for me back then as walking around the room.
Thanks, I needed ANOTHER reminder of why it sucks to be the token chunky girl at the club. As if I didn't hate myself enough already, it was great to have it thrown in my face: "hey, see this girl who would be your fucking twin if you were smaller? Remember when you looked like that? Now you're fat and can't make money to save your life." :-\
Pointless post. I just needed to get it out, and almost no one IRL even knows I dance, so gotta rant about it here. I feel like a fat ugly undesirable piece of shit. Apparently I have to lose a ton of weight if I want to go back to making the kind of money I got used to when I was tiny.
On the bright side, I did get hired! I'm excited about that, b/c the club is really nice, I've heard nothing but good things about it, and everyone I know that's worked there says the earning potential is great.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I'm sure you're not as "chunky" as you think you are. I'm sure you look F-I-N-E fine. Now hold old is this girl and how old were you when you started dancing? I bet you look like a woman and she looks like a kid. Regardless, i am sorry that happened and made you feel like that. :hug:
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I'm sorry, Pic. But i really doubt you're fat. feel better!
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
It's all good. Venting's good for the soul.
You mentioned that "was you" 2 years ago. What do you think has changed since then. Like habit wise. Are you drinking more? Exercising less? I mean, I do this too, where I'll think about how I was or how I used to be. Then I just have to sit there and think what it was I was doing differently at the time. Somehow I just started transitioning (or slacking) but was too busy to realize it I suppose. But when I go back to my old ways, bam! I begin to see results.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Roulette
I'm sure you're not as "chunky" as you think you are. I'm sure you look F-I-N-E fine. Now hold old is this girl and how old were you when you started dancing? I bet you look like a woman and she looks like a kid. Regardless, i am sorry that happened and made you feel like that. :hug:
We're the same age. :-\ But I'll take the hug all the same. :)
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
^^^ Christany has good points!! are there any habit changes that might be contributing? Emotional changes that might lead you to eat when you're bored or not work out?
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
She got that reaction because she felt attractive and projected that to the audience. I completely understand where you're coming from :hug:--I would definitely find it a bummer to work with a skinnier/more fit doppelganger, but also a huge incentive to get myself into the best shape possible and stay on my game.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Im not sure what you look like but im sure once you get dancing again you will tone and up feel a lot more sexy.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I'm gonna jump into SG and just say... Shush. You look perfectly fine. She got more applause because she brought more people with her, period. I don't even think you look alike, honestly. You're beautiful, and you know it. Yup. See you soon.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I thought you were working this week at CH2? Did you happen to work last night (tues) at ch2? cuz if so, that was a damn shitty showing of the club.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Chrissy68
I thought you were working this week at CH2? Did you happen to work last night (tues) at ch2? cuz if so, that was a damn shitty showing of the club.
Sun was awesome...Tues did suck balls. Right now I'm like a kitten in a catnip store; a whole new city full of clubs and I must try them all! :P (except the uber-dirty sketchy places, lol.)
jaizaine: I never stopped dancing...I gained weight when I had mono last summer, and ever since then have just been depressed as shit about it and haven't lost it. It affects my money big time, which only makes me more depressed....bleh.
MrC: aww thanks. You're sweet.
OK I'm done whining now. :-[ Just needed to get it out.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Heh. I did that amateur night and came dead last in applause. I was just screwing around on stage though. You're awesome. We all know it. :)
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Hmm I did that amateur contest, it was bad on my self esteem! Everyone seemed to like the real amateurs better. When I went around for tips I got a lot of...you're boobs are fake aren't they? you're not a real amateur are you? blah blah blah don't let the amateur contest throw you off!
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
YOU ARE NOT FAT. shut up. we're close to the same size. and that isn't fat.
that's all :)
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Well, maybe this will be the inspiration to get the pre-mono body you once had. I personally am at my best when I am inspired by other very thin girls. At one point I had a more "athletic body" but I never was fat or overweight, but most of my friends were/are super slim and that is motivating. I hate to say it but some clubs don't ever hire dancers that are heavy. Maybe you can motivate yourself to get in super tip-top shape, not just to improve your $ but to improve your health and happiness. For me it becomes a lifestyle change.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
OT I never really realized how many of your guys are in philly - I'm not too far away from you. We should figure out a mini SW meetup!! I'm supposed to go up thereat some point before xmas to see a friend - maybe I'll try and make it a weekend visit or something!! that is, if you guys are interested. PM me if you are!!
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I'm in philly on most weekends and in md m-wed. So yea that could be cool! I think they had a sw fest in philly in the summer but I couldn't make it.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
I would be up for a philly SWfest :) hehe, I finally met an SWer at work and in case anyone was wondering...Chrissy is uber-cute. :yes:
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Sweet balls!! OK I need to get my schedule figured out for the next little bit, but by god we will make this happen!! hehe I feel silly right now.
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
well, I've got a different comment for you... I WISH I was your size.
I don't know how big you are, but you can't be that bad... I just hate being overall tiny. I'm 5'4" 115lbs when I'm lucky, and I have no boobs... just shows that you're never happy with what you've got >.<
Re: being fat bites me in the ass AGAIN
Pic.....you...are...not...fat!