Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Dammit, this was inspired by all of those "I just got caught stripping" threads. Ugh, those are making me REALLY nervous.
I live about 20 minutes from my family, work 2 hours away. Nobody in my family knows what I do. They think I am a receptionist in the morning and a traveling trade show model on some nights. A LOT of people I grew up with found out, many people from HS know, all my SO's friends. I don't give a shit if they know, fuck them anyway, I just want to protect my parents. I dream everynight about them finding out, and how they would react. I even had a dream of my dad trying to kill me. They are REALLY religious and always wished I would have gone the college route, so they already are disappointed in me for not having a degree. They are nice to me, and love me a lot, even though we are totally different. I can't tell them this, as much as I can defend stripping, they are old-school and WON'T change their opinions for anything.
OK, who here has had stories about their parents NEVER finding out? Or, if they heard something, how did you quash the rumors?? Do they ever suspect anything?? I need some postivie thinking here!!
thoughts/opinions??
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Well..I've danced on and off for 7 years and have done porn for almost a year. My parents have no idea.
Of course..it prob helps that I'm 34, have never lived at home while doing any of this and live 1500 miles away from them
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
If they are religious, chances are they and their friends don't go to strip clubs. This will insure that your dad won't go after work one day for happy hour or anything. You also work really far away. I wouldn't worry about it.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
I've been stripping for about eight years, on and off, and mine don't know yet. I have a feeling they might question if I do or not, but it's never been brought up or made and issue and they still always ask about my telemarketing job.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
I have only been stripping for a year but i live with my parents and they don't suspect a thing.
It was difficult at first trying to come up with excuses for going out 3-4 times a week, but since i dropped i to once a week it's a lot easier.
I simply said i was having a night out with either
a) Someone from uni who they don't know (have made up lots of friends from uni for this purpose-it's kind of sad)
b) my old friend from school who i have been catching up with for the past 2 months on friday nights. I actually did at first- we were working together! but now she has stopped working it's got harder to use her for an excuse.
The way i see it if you package it as a social night out rather than pretending to work somewhere else you are less likely to get caught out . I know if i said i worked at X place my mum would say "great i am going on a works night out there next week, so should see you there" or "i'll pop in some time and have a chat" or "such and such works there too! you can get a lift home together". Whereas the places i go on nights out she or her friends would never step foot in.
The guilt gets to me something awful though. Especially if she does lovely mumsy things like try and give me money so i have a "good night out". That's partly why i have hesitated into going back to work after my holiday.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cutey503
Dammit, this was inspired by all of those "I just got caught stripping" threads. Ugh, those are making me REALLY nervous.
I live about 20 minutes from my family, work 2 hours away. Nobody in my family knows what I do. They think I am a receptionist in the morning and a traveling trade show model on some nights. A LOT of people I grew up with found out, many people from HS know, all my SO's friends. I don't give a shit if they know, fuck them anyway, I just want to protect my parents. I dream everynight about them finding out, and how they would react. I even had a dream of my dad trying to kill me. They are REALLY religious and always wished I would have gone the college route, so they already are disappointed in me for not having a degree. They are nice to me, and love me a lot, even though we are totally different. I can't tell them this, as much as I can defend stripping, they are old-school and WON'T change their opinions for anything.
OK, who here has had stories about their parents NEVER finding out? Or, if they heard something, how did you quash the rumors?? Do they ever suspect anything?? I need some postivie thinking here!!
thoughts/opinions??
I can relate...my family was very strict too. I woulda died of humiliation if my family ever found out!
That's why it's sometimes good to actually GET a job that you can admit to. Go get that receptionist job(or any day job in a field you'd like to pursue) so you have a job that you can actually discuss and admit to your parents about. You can always strip on the side. Not only will this job give you something you can admit to your folks about if they ask about your life, but it will help out on the resume. You do not want to start looking for a "real job" 12 yrs from now and realize that you have nothing you can put on a resume because all you did was strip for the past 12 yrs.
It sometimes works to say that you're a server or bartender at a club...then if people say "I heard you work at [name of strip club]," you can admit to it but claim that it's as a server. When some of my peers heard about where I worked, I denied being a dancer and claimed to be a waitress...not true at the time, but I eventually became a server so it worked out in the end. One time, an acquaintence told his immature guy friends that I was a "stripper," and they called me up one day and asked me about it while giggling like little schoolboys. By this point I was in fact no longer dancing, so I was able to honestly say that I was only a server at a strip club...this denied the rumor, but also explained how my friend coulda mistakenly thought I was a stripper. This also was enough to convince these people that even during the times I'd been a dancer, that I might have in fact only been a server. :)
I understand that your parents probably also wouldn't approve of waitressing at a strip club, or ANY job associated with a strip club...that's how my family was. My mom told me that if I ever tried to apply as a waitress to a strip club, she'd never talk to me again!(but then she stopped talking to me BEFORE I even stripped, so that's when I turned to dancing because at that point I really needed money and either way my mom wouldn't be talking to me LOL) So that's why I suggested taking on a 2nd job that you can admit to. If it comes out where you work, tell them that you're a bartender or server at that club, taking on part-time hours for extra money...that'll make you look ambitious and hardworking.
I hope that helps at least a little :)
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
probably your highest risk factor is to wind up being swept up in a bogus club bust. This would undoubtedly result in your name being plastered around local newspapers.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
^ That is a possible occurence that could happen, and that is why I suggested keeping the story about being a bartender or cocktail waitress at the club. That way, if her parents see her name in the local newspaper associated with said strip club, she can admit that she works there but soften the blow by stating that she has a slightly more wholesome non-stripper job.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PhillyDancer1982
^ That is a possible occurence that could happen, and that is why I suggested keeping the story about being a bartender or cocktail waitress at the club. That way, if her parents see her name in the local newspaper associated with said strip club, she can admit that she works there but soften the blow by stating that she has a slightly more wholesome non-stripper job.
yeah i told my mom i tend bar at the club i'm working at.
she was still a little iffy about it being a strip club, but she was okay about it.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
My parents don't know. My mom suspected because she saw SW up on my computer screen, but she doesn't know. My sister knows, all my friends know, my SO's friends know-- but it's not a big deal because I live in portland and people are pretty accepting of dancing because it's so common.
I was living with my family the first month I started dancing (well, i'd spend most nights at friends houses that lived closer to the club so i didn't have to drive allll the way home at 3AM) and I told them I worked at a nightclub as a shot girl. Now here, I tell them I work at a restaurant waiting during the week and i'm a bellydancer entertainer at a middle eastern restaurant on the weekends.
It's a lot easier since I'm 3,000 miles away. I feel kind of bad about lying, but it's easier this way- they wouldn't accept it, They wouldn't like it.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Hi there!
I have been dancing for almost 6 years in Portland, and my family (to my knowledge), has no clue. Granted, they do live in the midwest but still... there have been countless traps that i have nearly fell into during the years of phone conversations. I'm also a massage therapist, though not really currently practicing. I try to remember to converse about my 'fake" job at the day spa or I forget to talk about it. Only my sister knows, and she and i have a special trust between the two of us. For example, i know that she smokes pot and would never tell mom (our mom is EXTREMELY religious). She knows about my dancing and honors me with the same respect.
Part of the reason that I assume my parents would not accept my dancing, is that my older cousin was a dancer, years ago. I remember the disgust and contempt at which my family discussed her life choices and me, being an ignorant junior high kid, also found the occupation disgusting. Sadly, my cousin passed away from cancer at the tender age of 29. Unfortunetely, my family only seemed to focus on the 'poor choices" that she made for herself. when my mother would reprimand me or feel as though she was losing control of me during my tumultuous teens, she would scream comparisons between my late cousin and I. as if resembling my cousin was the worst thing I could ever do.
Though I live in Oregon now, I will always fantasize about returning to the midwest, particularily the club where she worked, to ask about my cousin's dancer persona. What was her stage name? What music did she dance to? I wonder if there are any longtime dancers still there that remember her. She seemed to heve left a strong impression there. I remember at the funeral, one of the back rows was full of beautiful woman sobbing into thier hankies. These lovely ladies were obviously her co workers from the club. I remember feeling embarassed at how my family treated these gals, despite my own misguided intolerance of the profession. How i wish that I could know her now and swap stories.
It breaks my heart to hear of girls families disowning them over them asserting thier choice of how to earn a living. Although, I'm sure that a majority of mine would do just that. I feel as though stripping, and dealing with it's prejudices, has made me a more tolerant and open minded human being. And if I have become like my cousin... I'm damn proud of it.
Here I am once agiain lured away by a tangent...
I wanted to ask you if you ever dance incognito. Like wearing a wig, for example. When I was in college and dancing, I rarely worked without a wig. It's amazing how a change in hair color and style can really transform your look. maybe something to consider if you are concerned about people finding out. All I can say, is I could NEVER dream of working so close to my hometown. bored midwesterners are lured many miles by the intoxication of the tit bar. I think that if you truly want to remain undiscovered, you will. But be warned, it can be a constant struggle of white lies and verbal back pedaling. Form a good "foundation" lie... and stick with it. Like your job title, your hours that you work, and a few basic details, and stick to it!!!! Be sure to complain a lil about your job, as that is a very normal thing to do. I use names of old co workers of mine when discussing a faux work story to my mon Be careful and be well!
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Never underestimate the power of denial.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
^^^ Totally. My family really ought to have figured it out but they're convinced I just take pole dancing fitness classes and tend bar in a pub in Los Feliz when I'm not doing production work. Of course, it does help that they're over a thousand miles away. Even when I travel, I don't dance anywhere within a day's drive of Memphis.
Re: Any Successful Lies Out There?!?!?!??!
Uhhh, my mom definitely does not know that I'm sitting in an internet cafe in the Pacific Ocean right now. She thinks I'm in the Pacific Northwest. :P :P :P :P
The main things have been... I've always volunteered for different projects and organizations over the past several years, things that if I did work for them would pay me as self-employed anyway. So when I talk about my taxes and whatnot that is not a problem. I just tell them I'm employed for whatever company I've voluntereed for. It helps that my mom has a bad memory so she forgets whatever comapny name I tell her, but my duties have been consistent for the past few years. :P but yeah, telling her I have a job but am an independent worker helps. It explains my stress and bitching about buying my own health insurance, etc, too.
It really helps that when i get back to Portland I am going to get a paid job in the field I've been talking about for so long.
Also, I do make a point of visiting her at certain, concrete points in time. She knows I'm not coming to L.A. for Thanksgiving but I'm already talking about all of the fun things we'll do when I visit for Christmas. Having set plans with her in the future means she doesn't think that deeply abuot what I'm doing in the present.