Ottawa bylaw can suck my balls. Unfortunately, they win. The rooms have changed, and our dressing room is littered with helpful, municipal government sanctioned reminder posters. The paternalistic ridicule, it bugs. Also kinda funny, because everything has a diagram. I need to get a camera phone because Susan Wayward's collection really needs this stuff (my favourite is a picture of a dozing stripper, a stripper doing yoga, and a stripper eating salad, captioned by the reminder to "eat right, excercise, and get 8 hours sleep!"...right below it is a crossed out "NO SEX" sign, captioned NO BLOWJOBS, NO HANDJOBS...I don't know if I can impart on you the weirdness of this 'save the strippers' campaign, but it's something else...)
Anyways. Along with this are new dance rules...far as I can tell, we are not allowed to sit on the lap, but we can side on the knee, to the side of the lap...so definitely no grinding, which is cool with me...one foot on the ground...I even got in trouble for leaning back on the guy, which confused me because last night a girl told me that was allowed, so long as my butt was far away from the crotch, so I guess i have to exaggerate this? But we're still allowed to let them touch everything besides the crotch area, which is held over from the old rules. But then I got in trouble last shift for my head being too close to his head...like you know when you kind of pretend to blow on their ear or put your cheek on their neck? Nothing gross, just fakey intimacy type of deal? Well the guy fucking freaked on me and said "I won't say it again! You'll get us shut down!!!". FUCK. I don't quite get it, since the guys still do the french cheek-kissing good byes on the floor...I totally don't let them near my face anymore, since I never liked the cheek-to-cheek goodbyes anyway (I am way too cold and German for that, but it's very common in Quebec).
So if that's not clear, well it's not clear to me either. But now my dances suck because I don't know what to do and I'm very paranoid. I don't like to piss off management. I want to be good and not break any rules, obviously. A girl told me she just sells $10 air dances now instead (which is not undercutting...we have those $10 zero contact dances on our menu, same as always...they just hardly ever sell them, and many dancers flat out refuse to do them...maybe not anymore though). But I'm no longer hot enough to get away with "pay me to just look, bitches". And I still think I'd make more doing the sort-of-contacty $20 dances.
Any ideas of new techniques? I really suck at stripping right now.



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