




My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
I'll trade you some of my normal days for your crazy ones! LOL, my life is boring.
Even if the gifts came with strings attached in his mind...cut the damn string and keep em!
As for Mr. Bugaboo....tell him to stop blowing up your damn phone.That the LAST thing you need right now is someone obsessing and harrassing you.
And seriously...I thought I was the only one with a freak magnet....





Glam you've got to read the response I made to CK's post. I can say this he sure was mighty handsy..A bit too touchy feelly for my liking, I had to keep tightening my body where ever he tocuhed me hoping he'd get the point.
I then just started to walk away when ever he touched me. Funny how my spending didn't keep him from trying to feel me up in Safeway.![]()
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou





Oh no! That's me too..I've lived alot of my life as a recluse because of it..I hate that!! I want to get out and be me without all the bullshit. Fuck !
At least in Tx, I could keep my gun with me at all times, that made me feel so much safer. Also, the hood dudes, rappers,ballers etc. I dated there wouldn't trip off of spending and could care less if I didn't answer the phone on the 1st ring, 2nd, 3rd or 4th. They knew I was probably busy and didn't take it personally. The only other guys I've run across that treated me the same were New Yorkers. Even an exec I dated in S.F went nutty on me.
I've starting to think I'd be better off sticking to women.
On another note, I'd love to hang out with you sometime CK and see how many nuts we can attract..LOL![]()
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou





My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
Oh dear goddess...I cant even imagine. I swear it used to be a running joke with me and one of my friends that whenever she saw me...either at work or out together..every freakazoid in a 5 mile radius would zero in on me!! She would be banking and having fun with the cute guy while I was trapped at the bar with the guy telling me about his alien abduction and asking if he can lick my hair(oh yeah..that was a real guy!).
It was pretty much every night that we left work with me asking for a scalpel so I can carve the freak magnet out of my skull.![]()
But I would love to hang out with you! We would have a blast and you can corect what I'm sure is my hideous yoga postures!





You think he felt back into a corner ? You could have a point, who knows what he was thinking..In my opinion I'd made it clear, I was buying my stuff..I'd even told him I usually do this at home and now that my roommate was gone I felt free to be me and do as I pleased. I also stated that I really needed to be cheered up. I commented on how it'd taken the staff from the school forever to come see me and when they arrived late I thought it was because they'd stopped to get me flowers, a card or a balloons..That never happened, they came in empty handed and really disappointed. Even more so that no one has given me anything, it would've been nice to have received something and since no one had done it I decided to do it for myself.
Even with all that dialogue I shared with him and him telling me his a gentleman..The situation still turned out the way it did. I let him know I needed to go to the store and shop that's what I did. Me taking a cab would've cost $20 there and another $20 to get back..So he didn't have to get me anything in my mind, the trip alone saved me $40 + tip.
It just would've been nice if he'd actually been the gentleman he claimed to be and kept his comments to himself.
During one of our 1st phone convos of the evening he interupted me and said "now I'm about to be rude" That's when I first went off..He thought I was a push over because, I'm nice, well spoken ( he says I use "Harvard" words) and carry myself like a lady..I know he was caught off guard when he learned that I have MANY sides. Haha, if he only knew..![]()
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
I definitely think he shouldn't have said anything about what you were spending. It shows he's cheap & judgemental. Plus I do think he should have offered to get you something. Oh & for the guys who think it's not in the cards to buy chicks groceries, my sister's new boyfriend did this for her quite a few times before they were really officially together & she thought it was nice & appreciated it, cause it's something she needed, not like others gifts. Plus she rarely has many groceries cause she dislikes grocery shopping alone. With all of the calls he was also being way too needy.
Callyish, that kitten pic is adorable!
Forgetting things we shouldn't remember is why god invented amnesia and Tequila. - Samantha Who





Ya' know for some reason, I can usually turn the freak magnet around to make it work for my benefit at work..It's like the guy starts telling me about his abduction and I'm like yeah that's so turning me on right now, I've just got to dance this song for you..![]()
I used to be a dom when I worked in New York and during a tour of the South East. So I know how to control work situations
It's just my daily life where these nuts bother me. I think its also because I have good insight, like you do ! It weird to explain but, I'm connected to something most people aren't..I have a feeling it's the same with you, so others feel more at ease sharing things they wouldn't normally do.
I was planning on being in FL during the Spring..But now with this Yoga drama, thats up in the air. The next training is in the Spring and you know I'm going to jump on that if it's offered. Just know I'll be in FL in 2008 and you're the top of the FL people I'd like to meet list.![]()
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
I try to do that if I see potential...but honestly my patience is minimal nowadays!!
HA! SO true you dont even know. I cant tell you how many times I've had guys start talking about REALLY personal issues only to stop and look at me quizzicaly and say "I dont know why I'm telling you all this". Maybe my psych. degree shines through?!
Where in Fl do you know? I'd LOVE to meet you!





Yeah, it does show him as being a cheap judgemental ass. I've also had people buy groceries for me and I've bought them for others too. If you can do it than do it..If you can't than shut the fuck up. What makes it worse is I never asked him to buy me anything. And the phone calls, gesh let's not even go there. He wants to control me..When he first called he said he was about to playing a game of chess with a buddy, then he started talking about the roses briefly. Next he said "oh I have to go"..I figured his wife or the mother of the person whom the carseat belonged to had walked in. So I was done at that point..I was actually done the night before, he works for a timeshare company and I wanted to talk to him further about it. Thats the only reason I even accepted his calls after the Safeway incident.
After that incident and a few others..Maybe I SHOULD watch my spending around certain people..I saw a beautiful piece when I was walking with a classmate the other day. We entered into the gallery and I inquired about it, thats just what I do. The guy I was with never gawked at the price, he never even metioned it. We just talked about how pretty it was and how, I need to hurry up and get my HI license so I can get the 20% local discount. I don't know though..I never see any Bentley or Rolls owners with disclaimers on the sides of their cars. I also think if I were a guy my spending wouldn't even be an issue.
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou





I'm not good at multi quotes yet..So pls be patient with me
I can totally relate..I was going to be a Psych major before I decided on Poli Sci/Pre Law..I wanted to make a difference in the world and decided I could make a bigger one if I went into Politics, I still want to enter into that world..I think I should've ran for Gov. of CA !I would've been the Stripinator..Anyway, let me get serious..I'll most likely be in Miami, my fam has a place there. You're welcome to come..Or I'll be outside of Orlando/Tampa. But I'm a firm believer in have car will travel, so we can meet where ever.
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou
The answer is that you're not expected to, which is exactly why you should.
This is really not all that difficult.![]()
First, by grocery shopping, this woman has allowed you a peek into her own personal life. That alone raises the possible intimacy level, whether she intended that as an outcome or not (in this case, clearly not).
But I can assure you, I don't care how many dates I've been on with a beautiful, interesting woman, if we are out together, and she has a $100 tab on groceries and flowers -- a touching flair, the flowers -- she is risking losing an arm if she even reaches for her purse. I would consider it extraordinarily bad form if I didn't pay for it in a way she didn't even see.
Yeah, I can hear it, sign of weakness, insecurity, sugardaddy. All crap. That's all guy noise (either that or I've been reading way too much Sh0t lately).
Women look at it entirely differently. There are enough women on this forum who've actually seen me do this, in a variety of places and situations, so it's not exactly a news flash.
I am surprised and a little saddened, however, that the male responses you've received on this have a gentleman factor of about, oh, 30%. I respect every man's opinion, of course, but I would have liked to have seen at least a few guys supporting a gallant show of generosity, largesse, sensitivity and graciousness.





TOO, thanks for helping to put it so eloquently..Just when I was starting to lose faith in the male species, here you come like a breath of fresh air.
I'm used to being treated like a lady and while this chump professed to being a gentleman his actions provided other wise. You and Joe are clearly gentlemen amongst, selfish one track minded little boys.
My new love...is me !
Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
Jhuka
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Maya Angelou





If by selfish one track minded little boys you mean trying to get laid without spending a cent, that's not me AT ALL.
You can't love something you think is flawless - me





At the risk of being chided for sucking up-This is why Ireading your posts, TOO. You remind me of my boy (who, granted has a bit of a way to go on the communication front from time to time till he gets to your level, but has the same big heart and generous, overwhelmingly romantic soul
). /threadjack
Can I say something totally new age and crunchy to you, Farrah? I think these guys have been sent by the Great Whathaveyou to test your boundaries and resolve in this whole situation in HI. Stand your ground, hon. I think you're reaching an even better point in your life.
Okay, I'll go back to bitching about my roommates now...
Seriously? There is absolutely nothing whatsoever intimate about grocery shopping. Please. That is pathetic for a guy to be so starved of real intimacy that he thinks that he is getting intimate by following a woman around grocery aisles. You wrote that you would recieve this intimacy regardless of whether "she intended that as an outcome or not." Do you sniff women's hair too regardless of whether they intended the outcome of placing their head within sniffing distance? Under your definition that is also a form of intimacy whether intended or not. How about looking through a woman's window if she has left her blinds open? That affords a "peek" into her personal life, also intimacy under your defination regardless of whether that was her intended outcome. With that attitude a guy is walking down a slippery slope of becoming a weird creep, always stealthily seeking out moments of unintended intimacy.
I would gladly pay more than $100 on a date to get to know a woman of quality. If she needed financial assistance then I would help pay for something but the OP mentioned she is doing fine moneywise. I just wouldn't want to pay for groceries so soon because then what have I really paid for? I have given her money in exchange for the chance to get to know her or tried to purchase her affection. The art of gift giving is when you give someone a gift not to steal moments of intimacy or to keep yourself in the game, but when you genuinely want someone to be happy so that they will be happy. Buying groceries on a first date doesn't really meet that critieria for me.
Someone mentioned a good idea which would have been to purchase their own flowers separately. I hope I would have thought of that on the fly if I was in that situation since the OP seems pretty cool.





You won't meet too many women of quality that way.I would gladly pay more than $100 on a date to get to know a woman of quality.
Best first date is to just go sit and talk. You can meet in the park and make paper airplanes together.
If you pay for a woman's time, you're tricking and you are objectifying her. And what does that say about you if you have to spend money to get her to hang out, shouldn't your great personality be enough?
It's not about not being a gentleman, it's just easier to really get to know somebody without all that extra social convention clouding things.
You can't love something you think is flawless - me
No, I meant like I would pay gladly pay that or more on things to do during the date (dinner, drinks, event, whatever). I didn't mean I would pay for the time which is kind of what I was chastising The Other Owner for. I totally agree that free things are good too and sometimes better.





You're tricking.
If you wouldn't do it for a guy stranger, why do it for a girl stranger?
Would you take me out to get to know me and spend 100 bucks on me? I'm probably more interesting than most women by a huge margin, but I am a heterosexual male. I would make a great friend.
You can't love something you think is flawless - me
^ If you truly believe that I am even remotely in the same galaxy of being "starved for intimacy," well, all I can say is that you have not been reading this forum for very long!![]()
That pretty much dispenses with the first paragraph.
The notion that you are "purchasing her affection" is another one of those ideas that guys seem to carry around in their heads, but is not usually one shared by women. The reality is something completely different. An act of generosity or graciousness says something about you -- about who you are -- and suggests nothing in the way of manipulation. It's not about the groceries. It's about what you chose to do when given the choice.
And I can assure you, and the OP can correct me if I'm wrong, but his paying for the groceries would surely have met your own gift-giving criterion of bringing her happiness.![]()





I must say, for the record, that there are also a number of sexually liberated feminist-y girls that (even if they LOVE taking money from men ITC) see dates as being 100% different and will actually LOSE respect for a guy if he tries to flash too much cash.... i.e. chivalry can be a veiled form of inequality. I say either go Dutch, or go Free. If I go on a first date with a guy and he lets me pay half, I'll respect him a LOT more, and the date is 200% more likely to end... happily. Just a thought.
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