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Thread: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

  1. #26
    Featured Member AznExtasy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    I don't have a boyfriend but if I did, I agree that it's a very bad idea to bring him into work.. for all the above stated reasons.

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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Alot of clubs I have worked within (including my current 'home base' club) won't allow it (if they knew he was your boyfriend). I'm actually perfectly okay with this as I feel that environment is best without boyfriends involved.

    The only time I can see it working is if he knew the business, knew to leave me alone to work (thus I will approach him if I wanted his company NOT vice versa), wasn't too affectionate at the club towards me (basically pretending he was just a regular or customer), tip-ed me and other dancers (on stage) yet didn't go for lap dances with other dancers.

    Oh and it was a long term relationship thus none of the puppy love (and lust) would easily distract me whilst I was at work (and he was visiting).

    If a boyfriend really wants to see you at work, he really must be okay with the whole deal. If he is okay with you flirting with other guys (and kinda gets a kick out of seeing how other guys lust after you) then okay.. yet otherwise.. work and personal life (including boyfriends) SEPARATE!


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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    SO's aren't allowed in our club unless they are dropping you off, picking you up, or bringing you something mid-shift. My husband has been in enough to see me dance a tiny bit, but that's about it. He's good looking, I don't want the skanks all over him.

  4. #29
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    he also will start talking to guys sitting next to him, tel;ling them I'm the best dancer in he club, I give great dances, he only comes in to see me, and they should give me a try..
    pimp. Just kidding!
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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    i love when danuel comes to work with me

  6. #31
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    My boy is going to be seeing me for the first time in a few weeks but since hes a manager and a DJ he knows my job and he knows what its about, plus he will only see me on stage as I wont be private dancing at the gig hes going to see me at. Plus he said he really has no interest to watch me on stage as he doesn't want to see me that way lol.

  7. #32
    Member Synesthetic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Aside from their feelings being possibly messy in that situation, do you ever find that your performance changes if you know that your SO is in attendance? I'm not sure that I would be able to be as open knowing that someone with whom I shared genuine intimacy would be there. Not that it would be embarrassing, exactly, but is there ever a sense that you don't necessarily want him or her to see what other people get to see when you're not at home?

    That was a rather convoluted question, but I hope my meaning was clear.

  8. #33
    Callyish
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Heh when my ex started to roadie for me I found myself trying harder because I wanted to show him im damn good at my job and he should be proud of me because I know how to put on a show.

  9. #34
    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Bad idea, always.

  10. #35
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    I've done it, but then I was in the industry, or working in the same club. I have pointed out guys that were obviously totally smitten and said go get 'em. I have made change for guys so they could get dances from her (they had no idea). But I have to be in the right mood, for sure, and in general it's a bad idea. If Brad Pitt came in and she had told me how hot she thought he was before, I would not be comfortable with her dancing for him, so I should not be there--industry member or not.

    I worked in one club where the other DJ was not allowed in the club on the same night his girlfriend was working. He had apparently started screaming at her onstage one night.

    Most guys can't handle it. Many of the ones who can handle it are running some kind of game, and will possibly piss the girlfriend off somehow.
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  11. #36
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    I've had rob come in to see me. it was a night I'd already well surpassed my goal from a reg AND a new custy who paid me well, and i wanted to dance for him with all the lights and music and energy.

    i thought it was fun. and kinky!

    I didn't dance for anyone else while he was there, but i did go on stage.

    he and i both had a blast, and had some amazing sex when i got home.

    I was even dressed in an outfit he bought for me, especially for him

    he's not jealous at all, and i was 100% focused on him.

    i needed a break from the hustle, and when he left, I made a lot more money b/c I was feeling especially sexy! in fact, some guy gave me 100$ on stage to come over and do a dance for his GF. So I told him I had to do some dances for them, and he left. It was actually my best night in 2 months!

    also, I dance in a very minimal 1 way contact nude club. he's only been in clubs with a lot more contact, so i wanted him to see how much less this is then that.... if i danced in a higher contact enviroment, I'd definatly not have him come in.

    WE'll definatly do it again

  12. #37
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Yeah, seeing the woman you love onstage, dancing for you (even if she is getting tipped, etc.), is one hell of a kick. It can also be a lot of fun to put her on as a DJ.

    But this is unusual, and far better in a controlled environment, like the one LR describes, with a guy that is secure.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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  13. #38
    Senior Member Passenger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Honestly, I think it is a horrible idea. Put aside the type of job that you have, and look at it like it were any other job....oh, as a receptionist for instance. Do you think it would be ok for your boyfriend to just come in and hang out for a couple of hours while you were working? Probably not, and it really isn't ok for him to come hang out at the club especially if your club has a policy against it. Those policies are in place for a reason. Work time is for working, and your off time is for spending time with your sweetie.
    Stripping was my Mr. Big....the best bad relationship I ever had.

  14. #39
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    My club doesn't allow bfs to come in but they don't have a problem with husbands. The Hubby hasn't come in yet but I know he'd be cool; he's seen me with other guys and jealousy doesn't come into it from either of us. He'd probably be a lot like Kaylinn's man; he has a good eye for people in the crowd and could probably help me out. Plus I think that sitting and flirting with him could increase my value in the eyes of other men, so it might be a good investment! Hmmm why haven't I asked him in yet?

    And hells yeah I'd want him to get a dance from someone else! Try something that he couldn't get at home! I'd never let him come in "just to talk" and not to spend any money on the other girls!

    But that's just how we roll. I can totally see the other perspectives here too, and if I thought that I were letting myself slack off because he was there, then I'd ask him to skedaddle and let baby get back to work.


  15. #40
    Member callilove's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    I hate when my friends come in, it fucks me up.
    I'm a different person at work, and when I see people who don't know me as 'Nikki', it messes with my vibe.


    I hate it when other girl's boyfriends come in more.
    A waitress at my old club had her new boyfriend come in and visit her, and she flipped out when one of the girls took him in the back. It's our job to take guys in the back. If you can't trust your dude in the strip club, don't bring him in.
    All the waitresses/staff/owner bring in their boyfriends at my club all the time, it messes me up because I never know who's a customer and who's a boyfriend.

  16. #41
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    My SO comes in every now and then.

    I'm quite high strung and get pissy when he sees naked women. He gets pissy when he sees me naked in front of other men. To avoid this, he checks in at the front, asks for me, and we go to a room and have fun. I don't provide any contact that is against the club rules. Usually we get drunk.

    It's a fantasy of ours. He can afford it and I spend the money on gifts for him.

    I once made a joke that the staff thinks that he is my regular. He replied, "So they think I'm a PL." I was like, "Yeah, probably."

  17. #42
    Veteran Member oregonchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    When I opened my club of course I had a "no boyfriend policy" And then there was this new dancer who drove 3 hours to work at my club. I'd let her boyfriend hang out since there was no place for him to go hang out without having to spend money. They got along great no drama whatsoever. So everyone else thought their boyfriend should be allowed to hang out too. So, I let one more dancer's boyfriend hang out while she danced.........until the ARGUMENT. Now I don't let anyone's boyfriend hangout anymore except the dancer from 3 hours away.

  18. #43
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    I work with one girl whes bf will come into picj her up, and sometimes he'll come in early, and they make it work. He can get dances and she doesn't give a shit, he can watch her flirt and sit on laps without batting a lash. I've sat and talked to him before and he's just really chill (he smokes a lotta pot so maybe that helps lol). But aside from that, I think its a bad idea. Even if its allowed, and even if you think neither of you will get jealous (and you still might, you don't know til it happens) it will screw up your hustle.
    I'd be really uncomfortable if my bf came into my work to watch me, I would not be able to hustle guys at all.
    That is EXACTLY how my and hubby are (minus the pot thing, lol!)!

    We are both non jealous, and all the girls know him. He sits at the bar and chills with the bartender or regular barflies, and I stop by from time to time.

    He actually improves my hustle, lol. I know it's weird, but it helps. It's that thing about him seeing me flirt with other guys, and knowing I am getting laid like no other that makes me hustle more. Hard to explain, but if I have to I can try.
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  19. #44
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaylinn View Post
    he also will start talking to guys sitting next to him, tel;ling them I'm the best dancer in he club, I give great dances, he only comes in to see me, and they should give me a try..
    Luke does the same thing!!!

    He's my own personal shill, lol!

    Glad to know I'm not the only one who is in a relationship that's cool with this.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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  20. #45
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    It's forbidden in our club. If management finds out, they'll fire you. I think they even consider that a form of prostitution, I think even if he were to pick you up from work. I could be wrong on that but I do remember the manager saying something to that effect. I didn't pay too much attention to it because I go to work alone and leave alone and don't have a bf anyway.

  21. #46
    Veteran Member Sinn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    The only time I can see it working is if he knew the business, knew to leave me alone to work (thus I will approach him if I wanted his company NOT vice versa), wasn't too affectionate at the club towards me (basically pretending he was just a regular or customer), tip-ed me and other dancers (on stage) yet didn't go for lap dances with other dancers.

    Oh and it was a long term relationship thus none of the puppy love (and lust) would easily distract me whilst I was at work (and he was visiting).

    If a boyfriend really wants to see you at work, he really must be okay with the whole deal. If he is okay with you flirting with other guys (and kinda gets a kick out of seeing how other guys lust after you) then okay.. yet otherwise.. work and personal life (including boyfriends) SEPARATE! GOLDCOASTGIRL
    yeah exactly.Im in a long term relationship where he is very mature about the whole thing, and he has no problems with what I do. The cool part is, is when my husband comes in and gives me a money shower on stage!! We both tip other girls while he is there, and he would NEVER get a dance from another girl, ever. He knows that what I do is professional and he dosent get in the way of me making money either.

    Guess im one of the lucky ones!

  22. #47
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    my on again/off again guy used to work the restarant at the club i used to work at so he saw me dance many times before we got together 4 1/2 years ago. he's good buds with all the staff and is very much welcome no matter what. i don't care if he tips the other girls--its his money, he earned it and he can spend it how he wishes. we're a no mileage club (not even lapdances) with a 3 foot rule. most of the girls know him and give him hugs when he comes in. a few girls stay away from him since he does shave his head (he's 40 and bald so he thought 4 years ago that he may as well go all the way with it). he's been our dj and door man several times. on top of that he's helped a few of the girls make money.

    i don't feel like he's hurting my job--when he's there is when i'm usually on the floor so most of the time guys think he's just a customer. I'm never on the floor unless i have a regular so people don't think otherwise. i do seem to work a little bit harder when he's there though. i feel like i show off more.

  23. #48
    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    My hubby comes in while I'm working. I have no problems with him doing dances with other girls and I completely trust him. But for the most part, its a bad idea. I really don't hustle and interact with the custies too much even when he is not there however. I do spend too much time sitting and bullshitting with him though. I love it when he is there, I feel so safe, and I love seeing his eyes on me when I'm onstage. He's totally cool and we would never bring drama into the club. He's free to look at girls, flirt, get dances, whatever. I like him to enjoy himself when he comes in. I've even done double dances for him with a few of the other girls. It saves money because he doesn't have to pay me! (After I cap out) But we all know our men and ourselves and it is really not a good idea in most cases.
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  24. #49
    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    Just in case anyone cares to read a BF's point of view and a few relevant antecdotes that cover both BFs and "grey areas"...

    With a long term (now ex) GF, I came by several times at two different clubs. I had no jealousy issues at all though, and I'm the sort of BF who doesn't mind just watching the other girls (and tipping) while my GF is off making her money, so I didn't affect her earnings at all. Not only was it a nice quick distraction on a few slow nights, I'd also go pick up food and have it ready for her at the end of her shift when she was tired and hungry, so she liked these visits and there were no downsides!

    With another girl (grey area - not exactly BF/GF, but something!), I made a point of buying double dances from her and whatever other girl she was feeling most buddy buddy with, so I certainly didn't hurt her earnings - quite the opposite!

    Neither club knew I was involved. I originally met both girls in non dancing environments. I don't think one club would have cared - said ex-GF actually is dating a custie right now, and he's very open about seeing her in the club almost every day, and even occasionally gets a little jealous. Or so I am told. But he's also really good friends with the owner so he'd have to get totally out of control to be ejected.

    The other club might have kicked me out had they known - a friend of mine was dating a different dancer there, and when the mgmt found out they had the bouncers escort him out and prevent him from returning. That was a pity, since he never made any trouble and is a nice guy.

    Said ex-GF also set me up on a few dates with a coworker and we went on a few dates... I made a point of *not* seeing this girl at the club until we had been on a few dates. I thought it would be a little awkward since most dancers I know don't treat customers like normal folks they meet outside the club (with good reason!). By the time I ever saw her dancing, I had already realized it probably wasn't going to work out so it didn't really matter anymore.

    That said... I think it's a terrible idea to have BFs at the club. BF's who smile the whole time, sit and relax, spend money and don't get jealous are rare. More often I hear about posessive fools who cause drama, which is bad all around. So I try to stay incognito if I swing by a club because I can understand why mgmt would want to kick me out! This is not difficult though - this post makes me seem like a more frequent visitor than I am.

    PS - I hope this meets the "relevant and rare" guidelines for male posts here. I saw DJ post and it made me bold. But if I'm wrong, I apologize; just say so and I'll go back to lurking in the "coming out" forum.

    Cheers!

  25. #50
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Boyfriends visiting you at work?

    ^^ thanks for the BF view. That was actually well spoken and informative.

    And good that you know you are rare! When my husband comes in...he doesnt tell ANYONE who he is, he drinks only top shelf(he cant stand beer or cheap alcohol),he tips the girls and if there is someone he likes he'll get a dance(though he is wary and if possible he'll ask me first in case its a girl I hate..lol...but no matter WHO it is I wouldnt say ANYTHING to her or in the club. I'd just tell him at home not to dance with her again and why)
    So he's a good customer.

    But we are a rare cpl. He doesnt care if I ignore him to talk to custies...he knows thats how I make money...and I dont care if he talks to other girls or gets dances(within reason of course...he cant blow the bank!! Which he never would..I trust him).

    It kills my hustle unles I have regs there because I"d rather talk to him then a new guy....but it makes my stage shows way better because I'm pulling out all the stops to show off for him!

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