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Thread: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

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    Default Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Ok today I went to a strip club by myself because this club is right in the middle of downtown and I was running some errands and figured what the **** I might as well check it out. The thing I noticed though in the 40 mins or so I was there was that so many of the strippers would walk by me and ignore me and hustle the guy sitting next to me. Only 1 or 2 approached me that night. Here's a description of me -

    Young looking - People tell me this all the time, and I probably look to be about 17 or so.

    Built - I've been working out seriously for 3+ years now, so I'm pretty muscular and people constantly tell me this.

    Been told in the past that sometimes I look angry/mean/unhappy/serious when I am actually not.. kinda like my natural facial expression, and I might have been looking like that.

    Now would any of this account for why they basically ignored me? From your perspective, which of this would make you most likely to ignore a guy completely, and not even say a word to him.

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    Veteran Member fifi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    older guys tend to spend more money.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    ^Everything you said. Young guys get ignored because they tend to have less money. And you look 17, really? A teenage kid is really unlikely to have money, much less spend it, they tend to waste our time trying to get phone numbers. Add your angry/mean/unhappy/serious demeanor to that and it would not seem worthwhile to approach you. Not if more welcoming, statistically more likely to spend customers are available.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    ^ You sound disappointed, particularly after that description of how young and muscular you are; or rather how young and muscular everybody else tells you you are.

    Look, you were in a strip club. It's a place where none of those attributes apply. The dancers were not evaluating you on how young, or muscular or happy/unhappy you looked. They could not have possibly cared less. Really. They were not looking to date you.

    In an SC you, and everybody else, are evaluated pretty much in terms of earning potential. How much money do you represent, and how willing are you to spend it? This is their workplace, and it's their job to know this.

    Since I was not there, I don't know definitively why you were "ignored." But it likely had a lot more to do with the way you were dressed, or the way you carried yourself, or the vibe you gave off in terms of approachability and earning potential.

    The first rule of strip clubs: It's always about the money. Learn it. Live it. Never forget it.

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    I usually approach young guys last. Also, no offense meant, big buff guys tend to be a little more cocky in my experiences (not all I've met some big teddy bears). However alot of the body builder type guys tend to have that "I'm hot, I don't need to pay girls" attitude. So young looking+built=not gonna spend a dime, but might waste my time. Unfortunaly we do stereotype customers sometimes.
    Try sitting at the stage and tipping some girls you like, smiling at them when they come over. Make eye contact with girls when you walk by, little things like that to let us know you might be interested in us. Even just say "hello" as a girl walks by.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
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    Getting some love the only way he can -
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Maybe YOU should try approaching them. Prove that you're willing to spend money. Once other girls see that, well then, you're set.

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    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    If you looked angry and really young I wouldnt approach you either. You would be giving off a vibe that 1) you dont have or wont spend money and 2) will be rude..and why waste my time on that?

    I MIGHT stop briefly and make a comment like "smile hon..it's not THAT bad in here is it?" to gage your reaction. If you ignored me or were rude I"d leave and tell everyone not to talk to you. If you smiled or laughed and opened up..I'd give you a chance...esp if it was slow.

    Next time...smile at the girls as they walk past or go tip any you like on stage and invite them to come see you. Grab a waitress and send over a drink to a girl you like that is sitting without a customer.

    We cant read minds...if we dont know you are interested....its less likley we will come up to you. Some girls talk to and hustle every guy in the club. Some ..like me...only go up to the guys that look interested.

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    Senior Member Aelfu_Gifu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Are you sure you're not angry? Your post seems angry and others seem to perceive you as angry. Is the strip club the only place this happens, honestly?

    What can you do to be more approachable?
    "She held me close and whispered in my ear how wonderful I was. Since I'm not wonderful. I was pretty sure this was a trap. So I figured I'd better grope her as much as I could before they sprung the trap. You've got to take what you can get in this life. I read that in a magazine. So I started smearing kisses on her and pawing the front of her dress, trying to get my money's worth before somebody bashed my head in." John Swartzwelder

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    zxcire
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Quote Originally Posted by kaiarose View Post
    Maybe YOU should try approaching them. Prove that you're willing to spend money. Once other girls see that, well then, you're set.
    Precisely! I watch guys who are sitting away from the stages. If you aren't tipping anyone, I assume you're there for a free show and won't bother. Come up to my stage, though, and I'll shower you with attention.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    I was about to comment on how sage the advise given here was...

    ...and then I had a second thought.

    The thought that a lot of us "older guys who have money" (and the intention of spending it) can't seem to get approached either, because a lot of dancers (namely the younger looking ones) would seemingly rather sit with guys who look like the OP's description for practically nothing, sans maybe a drink, and I don't mean a dancer drink.

    I applaud those of you who treat your job as a job, but a lot of your co-workers aren't following suit, and its getting worse by the year. And you wonder why so many of us have that "angry" look on our faces. This is supposed to be the environment where money talks, and I've seen too many instances of late where I have to reply "does it now?"


    Nonetheless Swl, if you're intent on spending money, regardless of what you look like, I agree that taking the initiative to approach your desired entertainer yourself is the best course of action, although even it is not 100% reliant anymore.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    ^^

    Outstanding, insightful post. Everyone deserves an equal time trial. Beyond that, pay up or shut up.
    "She held me close and whispered in my ear how wonderful I was. Since I'm not wonderful. I was pretty sure this was a trap. So I figured I'd better grope her as much as I could before they sprung the trap. You've got to take what you can get in this life. I read that in a magazine. So I started smearing kisses on her and pawing the front of her dress, trying to get my money's worth before somebody bashed my head in." John Swartzwelder

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    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Doc I agree. I never understand why some of the girls(usually the 18 year old baby-strippers) will walk past older guys and spend SO much time sitting and drinking and flirting with young guys that arent spending a dime. WTF?/ THis isnt a reg bar...you arent supposed to be here looking for a boyfriend..this is a JOB.

    And then they will complain that they never make money...DUH!

    OR they'll make snide comments to someone like me like "ewww..I dont know how you can stand to spend time with that old/fat/ugly/etc...guy"
    Because he is PAYING me you idiot..unlike your little slice you chatted with all night.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    i was always happy to approach young guys and/or guys who looked angry, but that was because such guys gave me moneys. a decent number of men simply aren't aware they have offputting or 'angry' body language and are just used to sitting around with a set grimace. such men tend to relax when a dancer approaches amiably.

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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Doc I agree. I never understand why some of the girls(usually the 18 year old baby-strippers) will walk past older guys and spend SO much time sitting and drinking and flirting with young guys that arent spending a dime. WTF?/ THis isnt a reg bar...you arent supposed to be here looking for a boyfriend..this is a JOB.

    And then they will complain that they never make money...DUH!

    OR they'll make snide comments to someone like me like "ewww..I dont know how you can stand to spend time with that old/fat/ugly/etc...guy"
    Because he is PAYING me you idiot..unlike your little slice you chatted with all night.
    I agree, I see this alot with other girls my age. Oh well more money for me. They can have all the hot youngs to themselves and give me all the fat old ones with money!


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  15. #15
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    This may not help you, but I would have approached you! I approach everyone who is not a known time waster, non spender or perv...or who doesn't already have someone with them!

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    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Swl,

    I agree it's your age, and I doubt it's your angry face. I'm young and often get ignored too, and unlike you I don't have an angry vibe at all. Actually I generally have a huge smile from ear to ear in strip clubs; so many pretty girls in one place just makes me really happy and I'm a smiley guy. Also the few dancers whom I know in real life have confirmed this; the young guys tend to have less $ and be less willing to spend it [or at least that's the general perception among the dancers, and I don't doubt them].

    Also, SWL, do you actually spend while you're there? If you don't spend much, then perhaps they just noticed that and acted accordingly.

    I think that youth perception may be out of hand sometimes; there've been two nights where I was around near closing and wanted to spend the last of the cash in my pocket, and I literally had to get up and follow the pretty girl I wanted to get the dance from and say something like "Please help me spend the last of my money tonight, K?". To me a situation like that means the girls are being a bit lax in their hustling that night; they were leaving money on the floor that should have been theirs! Personally though I usually like it; some of the girls at one of the clubs can be high pressure for dances and difficult to talk to (due to their accents), so just being left alone to chill can be pleasant sometimes.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    I think it has to do with dumb, presumptuous dancers.

    There are a fair amount of young guys who come into my club during the daytime, alone, and they are USUALLY there to spend. Of course, I continually hear girls say, "Oh, he's young..." "oh, he doesn't have $$... " and so on and so forth... In my experience, not only do younger guys often have money (he may look like some surfer dude, but he's actually a real estate broker!! it's the OC, it's weird!!), but they aren't quite as thrifty/frugal with it, and dancing for them is sometimes more fun!!!

    In my club, some of the older gentlemen (some... certainly not all) have been coming in since its inception... and, the club having a bit of a reputation.... these guys have become- jaded. They know what they can get, from whom, at what price, at what time. Younger guys are sometimes just genuinely more HAPPY to have a hot chick dancing for them... and sometimes even more willing to tip to show it.

    Now, OP... I dunno where you live- but current local economy has a lot to do with it. If you've been in a slump for sometime, then dancers will definitely assume that youthful-looking guys aren't doing as well as their older counterparts... but overall, the generall assumption is bogus. So- untighten those facial muscles, try to smile a bit, maybe even try approaching a dancer, and I'm sure your luck will change. If not- try another club where stupid preconceptions don't run amuck.

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    buffie06
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    I didnt read all the other responses, but I would not approach you b/c if you look that young, etc. I might think you are a dancers bf or something and approach an older man. I would approach you if it was not busy though.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Did you go up to the stage and tip anyone?
    I am looking for quality articles pertaining to the strip club industry.
    Please email me at agentamerica @ gmail.com.


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    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    I think you're onto it Embyr, regarding locale. When I lived in Silicon Valley, there were young men with cash to spend all over the place. I didn't go to clubs there but I bet the dancers are all over the wallets of all those tech startup CEOs and engineers bringing home 6 figures.

    Here in North Jersey though, the money is mostly in the hands of middle aged or old white men. I'm the only executive in my company that I know of under 40, never mind under 30.

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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    ^^^ Yup yup- any place with a booming IT/real estate market tends to attract guys right out of college... who, of course, don't neccessarily wear a suit and tie 24/7 ( ) and it kinda sucks if a young guy making a 6 figure income is continually mistaken for a broke Perpetual Student or a 26 yr old still living w/ mom and dad. Therefore, it's better not to ASS u Me.

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    Veteran Member Lapaholic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Doc I agree. I never understand why some of the girls(usually the 18 year old baby-strippers) will walk past older guys...
    Ms. Keys on behalf of all of us "old/fat/ugly/etc..." guys, I thank you!

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    If you want a girl, YOU can go get HER. I'm not sure if you were tipping but I would sure as hell not approach anybody who sat by themselves, not spending a dollar and drinking the same beer all night. And you already have a strike against you cause you look young. Just go and get yourself a girl next time if you want a dance.

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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    yeah, i usually don't approach younger looking guys. Even if they do have money to spend, and some do, i'm not really comfortable talking to the younger guys so i will insstead try to work on someone with whom i can be more comfortable and therefore increase the chance of a sale. However, if said customer were to tip me on stage it would increase the chances of me coming over. But my customer point of view is telling me that as a customer you shouldn't have to approach the dancers if they are going out of their way to ignore you. But stage tips are a good way to get their attention without having to actually go up to them.

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    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Why do the stippers rarely approach me? Age/Looks or something else?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    This may not help you, but I would have approached you! I approach everyone who is not a known time waster, non spender or perv...or who doesn't already have someone with them!
    exactly what i try to do.

    often, younger guys on their own are great. I tend to make a lot of my money from the young professionals crowd. I make money off of older guys too. I make money off of sloppy looking guys, and clean cut ones.

    Everyone deserves to be hustled!!

    (but next time, go up to the stage and tip the girl you like.... and ask her to come over and see you.)

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