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Thread: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

  1. #1
    Veteran Member $$$magnet's Avatar
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    Default Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

    Okay ladies, I need your help here...

    I've had this pretty decent reg for about a year. Let's call him P. He is a very laid back guy who lives in another state and comes to see me @ the club every few months to get away from work. We email every few weeks, too.
    These past few visits, I've been letting P take me out to dinner near by before we go to the club. (BTW, it is very safe: I meet him @ the restaurant and then we walk around the corner to the club afterwards). After dinner, he always gets one hour in the CR with me, no more.

    ***I get paid for the CR portion of the "date" (obviously), but I would really like to be paid for the dinner portion, too.

    I've had a reg before that has paid me for the dinner in addition to ITC, but he just offered, so I don't know how to approach this one.

    I would really like to know how I can bring this up to P, and also if anyone else does anything similar with their regs.

    I've thought about just saying something like "I've been so busy with school and I haven't had time to work... and my bills are piling up..." but I can't think of what to say after that! And I don't really want to make it seem like I'm a charity case or anything; I want him to feel like he ought to pay me, if that makes sense...

    ETA: Some background on our relationship-
    98% of the time, I don't dance for him. He just wants conversation( i.e him talking and me listening ).* I DO NOT offer him anything else*

    He has said before that he wouldn't mind just giving me th $ for the CR and just going out on the town instead of being ITC.... And that he is glad he can "help me out" because I'm a college student, blah blah blah... This is why I think I could probably get more $ out of him if I tried.

    Thanks for all the input, ladies!
    i used to dream militant dreams / of taking over america / to show these white folks how it should be done
    i used to dream radical dreams / of blowing everyone away / with my perceptive powers of correct analysis
    i even used to think / id be the one to stop the riot and negotiate the peace / then i awoke and dug
    that if i dreamed natural dreams / of being a natural woman
    doing what a woman does / when shes natural
    i would have a revolution

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  2. #2
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

    Well, its difficult asking to be paid for something you have already given away for free.

    Your best bet is next time...tell him you cant go to dinner because you have to go to work early because you are broke and really need to try to make extra money. Maybe say somethng along the lines of " I guess i'll just have some crappy bar food for dinner..hopefully it doesnt make me sick" and be a bit wistful about how yummy the food is at whatever restaurant you usually go to.

    THis will give him the opening to say "well...why dont you come to dinner and I"ll give you some extra money so you dont have to worry about it. I dont want you eating crap, you deserve a real dinner"

    If he doesnt take the bait...he isnt willing to pay for dinner and you'll have to decide whether you want to keep going for free.

  3. #3
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

    If he offered it, i think asking him outright is a good move.

    "*name*, I thought I'd never need to ask you this, because I really do enjoy our time together, but remember back in *insert month* when you offered to give me the CR amount instead of going ITC, well, I am flat broke because I just got *insert BIG bill here* and I'm freaking out. I feel awful and awkward even asking you for this, because, well, I dont like asking for money for nothing, but... "

    Love it!

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

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    Last edited by cutey5032; 06-08-2009 at 07:57 PM.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

    Methinks this guy would like an OTC relationship with you.

    Which might be why he doesn't want you to dance for him - "I value you as a person, not as a dancer".

    I'd be a bit wary of asking for money too directly - it indicates where your priorities lie.

    Maybe just drop into the convo that you're not making enough money throgh dancing to pay all your bills and are hence getting into debt.

    If he volunteers to pay, then he'll feel it was partially his idea and if he ducks away from the subject, you'll know money for activities OTC is a sensitive subject.

    At the moment he's still got his illusions about OTC prospects - maybe asking too directly will shatter those illusions (and lose you your CR)?

    Phil.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member hearts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Advice on a Reg- Please Help!

    I would not ask him directly.I agreed with painting the picture that you are in need of more cash, but without sounding too pathetic/charity case. Hopefully he'll tip you more for CR or offer to pay for OTC time. I'd be careful not to mess up what you already have or lose him altogether.

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