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Thread: I want a Cassanova sexpert

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default I want a Cassanova sexpert

    As most of you know, I recently separated from my ex, who has erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. I've endured over a year of sex that was too quick or didn't happen at all. I have blue clitoris like you wouldn't believe, and I've never had a guy give me an orgasm. I just ordered a Doc Johnson I-Vibe, but I also want good sex for the first time in my life.

    I've never had a good sex partner. I fucking want one. I want to have a sexual relationship with a man who is all about pleasing women. I want a Cassanova. I want someone who is passionate about pleasuring women, who does his research, who realizes that all women are different and can adjust his techniques, who is always willing to learn something new, who is willing to teach me the ways of good sex, who would be willing to finger or eat me for hours. This is therapy and healing for me.

    I'd hire a male prostitute, but
    1) I'm a poor college student, so I wouldn't be able to afford a clean guy or a trip to the Stud Ranch in Nevada.
    2) Most male prostitutes around here are gay so I'm not sure if they'd be able to properly cater to my womanly needs.
    3) I'd be afraid of being caught with illegal activity.

    I've also heard of surrogate sex partners, but again, I'm poor.

    Any advice? Yeah, I should probably go out to bars and pick up studs, but one-night stands kind of scare me due to STDs. Also, too many of these guys tend to confuse inches with centimeters, if you know what I mean.

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Also, too many of these guys tend to confuse inches with centimeters, if you know what I mean.
    ha!

    Boy, I don't know what to tell you. Ask a slutty girl in Houston for recommendations? You have to have chemistry for hot sex regardless of technical aptitude so it's tricky.

    I would look for straight actors and musicians, who tend to have a lot of testosterone (true!) and be good lays 'cause they're not concerned about being to macho to care. hmm. And older guys, too -- I don't mean, you know, Grandpa, but 35 and up. Fully grown.

    Or, alternately, some 18-yr-old from Rice with a two-minute refractory period who is so excited to be getting laid that he will try absolutely anything. He also would probably be able to fix your computer which would be an added bonus.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Hmmm I gotta get me a guy who's a himbo, but not too dumb to care about sex. Rice boys sound pretty tempting.

    Hatshepsut's on the prowl!

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    BTDT, believe it or not.

    Your best bet is to find a couple that shares and establish a fuck buddyship with the male half. These types tend to be similar to what you posted above.

    I'm reading a book on gigolo-hood right now, it has a chapter on "where to find clients". I'm wondering if the reverse would work to find gigolos.

    Giving women advice really hurts my soul, but since I can't sleep and I'm jonesing a bit...

    There a lot of men who will pretend to be sex gods and all that, but few actually spend the time reading all that shit. The ones who are nerdy enough to read all that stuff are usually too nerdy to get a lot of pussy to practice any of it. In other words, Sh0ts are rare.

    Older men who have been in(or, ahem, are currently in) long term but healthy sexual relationships are probably going to be the ones that offer you the best situation for what you want.

    I'm sorry though and I Hope you are ok with your breakup. Having ED AND PE must be a disgusting combo to be afflicted with.

    Don't bother paying for it. It's unnecessary and will probably be counter productive. Bisexual men might be a good place to look, too. Go visit gay clubs and bars instead of the usual nightlife meat markets.

    What part of the country are you in?
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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Sweetheart, most "studs" you pick up in a bar have no fucking clue what they are doing with your body. But I'm sure you knew this already. But just for the record, they are not interested in what gets you off or drives you insane or pushes you into areas you've never experienced before in your life. They are short on patience, shorter on experience and shortest of all on knowledge of you and your body. Their primary drive has nothing to do with what you want at all: Your first g-spot explosive ejaculation, or mind-fucking you or climbing into the deepest recesses of your mind and manipulating your fantasies in wicked and unpredictable ways so when you cum, you never stop shaking or shuddering or screaming or erupting or thrashing around, entirely out of control.

    You can tell this right away by how quickly they take their own pants off. The patient lovers still have their pants on, but they have you inverted, tongue flailing away on your clit, fingers thrusting wildly into you, pulling your hair back, arms constraining you hard and down and firm, then lifting you completely off the bed when your eyes roll back and you push hard against their face as they have you wrapped firmly in their powerful arms, pulling you down onto their mouths and refusing to let go.

    The "studs" are interested, pretty much solely and exclusively, in getting themselves off.

    You are incomparably more complex, which has fabulous advantages for guys whose sole purpose is to drive you completely and uncontrollably insane.

    I know this sounds like an unfair generalization, but I have to tell you that I've never, ever, ever, found a woman who was even remotely satisfied by a lover whose interest was completely selfish (one exception: subs who get off on pure male domination or pleasure.) Even in moments of attempted reciprocation, these guys haven't the slightest clue about the intricacies of your physiology or sensitivity or responsiveness. If they were ever forced to take an exam on the subject of your anatomy, the instructors would be so disgusted by the results that they would just drag them out back by their hair and throw their useless asses into a ditch. Honestly.

    Why women put up with these limp-dicked, clueless, hopeless, feeble, selfish, ignorant assholes is one of life's great mysteries. Maybe they think all men are just as hopeless. Or they adopt them as a special project, hoping to change them into sensitive, powerful lovers. Or maybe these guys are musicians, and God knows if that's the case, even if they had no penises at all and thought your clit was located in the back of your head, nothing would stop the adoring female masses from lining up backstage in the hopes of a glimpse of the wonder that they bring to the world, unaware for the moment of the endless frustrations and separation loneliness and jealousy and mind-boggling mutually-reinforced ignorance and persistent neglect awaiting them.

  6. #6
    Callyish
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    I have to say I agree with TOO lol... My man im with now is the first guy i've ever been with who was actually interested in my own needs first... its damn hard to find a guy who is mind blowing in bed *sigh*

    I wish you luck in your search... you will find the right guy eventually I promise you. Don't give up and settle.

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    TOO, you've only restated the obvious: there are plenty of bad lays to be had. We're trying to help her find good sex. And not for nothing, but I have to say that of the musicians I picked up in bars, none disappointed . . . oh, hey! stick with underground rock bands, you know, noisy and arty ones. Those guys actually read books and generally were geeky in high school but now know how to handle women. And before anyone goes off on musicians, she's just looking for tail, not someone to support.

    You know, it's really hard to explain, but I have a talent for knowing who's going to be good in bed. When I relentlessly followed my intuition it got me good times, and eventually, well, a husband. When I ignored it, it got me another number on Caller ID I had to ignore. I mean, part of it's chemistry but part of it is also ruthless stereotyping.

    Anyhow, can you first tell me what kind of guy you find attractive? Because that's the nonnegotiable right there; they have to be attractive to you to get you turned on enough for good sex to happen.

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    ^ Well, I was trying to disuade her from her final conclusion, which was to "pick up studs in bars." That's not exactly restating the obvious.

    I'm happy you've found satisfaction with musicians, but I'd be interested to know if any of them, well, blew your mind into a thousand pieces. I mean really got under your skin. Where you never thought you were ever going to stop fucking cuming in this life or the next. Just wondering.

    What she needs is an intense, passionate, dedicated, skillful, patient and experienced pleaser. A guy who can play her like a violin for hours at a time. And a guy who she's weak in the knees for, of course. Because it's that sense of pure sexual vulnerability and passionate interest that the guy is going to exploit by twisting her mind just as much as he's pushing her body up and over any wall she's ever seen before.

  9. #9
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post

    I've never had a good sex partner. I fucking want one. I want to have a sexual relationship with a man who is all about pleasing women. I want a Cassanova. I want someone who is passionate about pleasuring women, who does his research, who realizes that all women are different and can adjust his techniques, who is always willing to learn something new, who is willing to teach me the ways of good sex, who would be willing to finger or eat me for hours. This is therapy and healing for me.
    You and almost every other woman on this planet. The one thing I know is that knowing how to please yourself is one of the major components to allowing others to do so. Instead of putting the pressure on yourself and every possible suitor to be the "Jesus-fuck" (a religious sexual experience characterized by feelings of being taken to the afterlife and then resurrected ) ...which will lead to bad things if it didn't already....relax....sometimes what ye seek finds you!!

  10. #10
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    He also would probably be able to fix your computer which would be an added bonus.
    Ever practical, Susan.

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    God/dess Will's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post

    Any advice? Yeah, I should probably go out to bars and pick up studs, but one-night stands kind of scare me due to STDs. Also, too many of these guys tend to confuse inches with centimeters, if you know what I mean.
    If I may add from a guys POV, I don’t think you will find anyone from the above to satisfy those needs. Finding a person who really knows how to “ring your bell” so to speak raraly if ever comes from one night stands and paid penis. It’s a tough search for everyone, especially women, so be patient on that front and learn what you really like/need and be choosy in who gets to the honor of following up with those needs.

    As most gals are going to tell you, most men don’t have much of a clue what to do with a woman’s body, so you are not alone in trying to find the right person for all that, and some times it’s also not an issue of technique per se but chemistry. Good chemistry and so so technique beats good technique and no chemistry any day. My ex wife told me she stayed with me for an extra year or so ‘cause the sex was so good…I took that as a complement (I know, typical guy!) when she thought that was an insult!

    Good luck kiddo. You deserve the “it” you search for…
    A cunning linguist...

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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Craigslist is your friend. Seek there and ye shall find!

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    I'd have to agree that it's all about the chemistry. So your challenge is to get out and start talking to more people in general but guys in particular. Don't pick the guy you think logically should be good in bed according to what he says or how he looks. Focus on how well the conversation flows and how well your sense of humor interacts. Then you have a good chance of making a great connection.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    You should try and use SW as a resource. Apparently all the guys here except me are studs AND sensitive and put women first, etc.

    Gold mine
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  15. #15
    UncleJohnny
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    How about a mature but kinky guy?
    If all else fails, I'll get out the Hitachi Magic Wand and make sure you have several orgasms!

    Incidentally, you won't need to support me.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    OK, SW guys, this is not a booty call for any of you. Any personal offers will immediately be deleted. I'm looking for a local, no-strings-attached guy who I can just learn from and go. I def want a guy who's attractive, but I don't want to get attached in any way. I just want a competent sex partner for once.

    Yeah, I know that I have to find my own likes and stuff before I can be pleasured by another, but the first step is a functional guy. My fresh ex had ED and PE, and the one before that was a disgusting pig who was fat and had bad knees, so good sex was impossible. I'm starting with a guy who is interested in pleasing women and has normal bodily functions.

    Okay, after this round of exams, I'm going to the local coffeeshops to groupie for bands. I only hope that this doesn't get back to my ex, who is also a tall, sensitive, poetic musician like I'm looking for my booty call.

    Also, any advice on one-night stands? I'm def going to bring my own condoms and insist on using them.

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Also, any advice on one-night stands? I'm def going to bring my own condoms and insist on using them.
    Yes. Have them frequently. Never let them know where you live. The 80 bucks for a hotel room if you need one can save you hundreds in headaches.

    Having one night stands is a bit of an art form. You get better at it over time.

    Bring your own condoms but bring a few different types. Having magnums in your purse when the guy might be smaller is gonna cause problems and vice versa. You'd be surprised at the scenarios that can arise.

    OK, SW guys, this is not a booty call for any of you. Any personal offers will immediately be deleted.
    LoL.
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Craigslist is your friend. Seek there and ye shall find!
    i read creepslist for pure amusement. the men on there honestly scare the crap out of me. and hapshetsut.... 1/2 are looking for "asian girls."

    i would honestly just put yourself out there. if you have the magnetism & personality you have on this board, I'm SURE guys'll flock to ya!!! (and, although I've never seen you.... I bet you're hot, too. always helps. )

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    OK, SW guys, this is not a booty call for any of you. Any personal offers will immediately be deleted. I'm looking for a local, no-strings-attached guy who I can just learn from and go. I def want a guy who's attractive, but I don't want to get attached in any way. I just want a competent sex partner for once.
    So ah, I finally found one, after more years then I wish to admit, but I don't know if it happens by trying or just luck of the draw.

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    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Embyr View Post
    i read creepslist for pure amusement. the men on there honestly scare the crap out of me. and hapshetsut.... 1/2 are looking for "asian girls."

    i would honestly just put yourself out there. if you have the magnetism & personality you have on this board, I'm SURE guys'll flock to ya!!! (and, although I've never seen you.... I bet you're hot, too. always helps. )
    Thanks Embyr. Yeah, I used Craigslist a long time ago to try to find a roommate, and I got some sick offers even though I didn't want sex. Therefore, I'm steering away from that. The big problem is that I don't want any of that courting and small talk and personality chemistry. I just want sex. So therefore, my magnetic personality could be a bane because they'd want to "get to know me" or something. I don't want any of that bullshit. I haven't been single since I was 16, and I'm 23 now. I need a break.

    Sh0t, thanks for the advice. Hehe, I can't take them back to my place anyway because I rent a room from family. What should I do about my car? I'd like to take my own so I can scram whenever I want, but what if he tracks my license plate #?

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    ^ and this is what cheap hotel rooms and guns are fo- .... no, honestly i don't know. Ummm... do your parents go out much?? I hear you- I have my own dinky place and have guys here- I prefer... uhh, "short term" relationships and would feel weird about going over to someone else's place. I'd feel like I was imposing, esp. in the morning. urgh. But I will say, if there is a question of the guy tracking a plate, he's probably not a good partner, even for nsa sex.

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    What should I do about my car? I'd like to take my own so I can scram whenever I want, but what if he tracks my license plate #?
    Will the Texas DMV allow you to register your car at a mail box? If so consider a "live drop" . A "live drop" is a mail box where mail is automatically forwarded to another address. So register your car at a "mail boxes, etc" with two instructions. To forward any mail to another address, and never to give the forwarding address without a warrant or court order.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    ....The big problem is that I don't want any of that courting and small talk and personality chemistry. I just want sex. So therefore, my magnetic personality could be a bane because they'd want to "get to know me" or something. I don't want any of that bullshit. I haven't been single since I was 16, and I'm 23 now. I need a break. ...
    Uhm, well, for guys who say this and really mean it, this is exactly what prostitutes and paid-for-sex are good for. OTOH, good luck. Some people are totally satisfied. Others end up finding that GREAT sex without chemistry and the BS simply can't be had fast or cheap. In any case, be safe - wrap it FTW.

  24. #24
    Callyish
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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    What about trying adult friend finder? It worked for me awhile ago.....

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    Default Re: I want a Cassanova sexpert

    LOL at tracking plates.

    You guys took it to a whole other nerd-level.

    Just go out and get fucked chica. It's not that difficult. You'll learn with practice.

    TRY THE BLUE SIDE!!!!
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