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Thread: I don't know what to tell them

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    Default I don't know what to tell them

    I don't make money enough.

    I mean, while noone is at our club there are only a few girls make money -any they are always.


    I have 2 problems:
    -I dont know what to tell them to get me to CR or dance
    -They always ask me out ..

    I am not a slappy looking person, not bragging guys and friends, even the managers told me I am one of the best looking girls there. I don't know about this, I am glad they think this way, so let's leave it as it is. Also, Ive heard that I am too nice. I don't exactly know what this means. I can be nasty though when someone upsets me.

    There are some girls that are big money makers, even the worst looking girl is always in the CR. They must say something and I can not imaging what..in the room, if anything extra happened, they'd be looked at and gone, obviously they won't say they will get a BJ in there.
    I see sometimes while lapdancing they whisper into their ears..

    What should I tell them,
    -What's going to happen in the room? This is a stupid question, even people that were in there ask it. I guess they want to hear that they will get a bj, have sex or lick me, but I do NOT want to do any of these, even dirty talking is hard for me. I can't drink, so that won't losen me up and other drugs I dont want to use.
    -How should I avoid them to want me to blow them, lick me etc.

    -Most of the times, these people want to go out with me. Why? (Once a younger guy asked me out but I didnt want to do it because I met him there, than changed my mind about him and couldnt even give him dance, he became more than a friend, so I brought up the topic again to hang out, than he didnt want to do it cuz I refused him...and questioned me how come I want to dance for him now again.)

    -They ask me for my number, I dont want to give them

    -They ask me for lunch, dinner on my days off, sometimes on weekend, they offer me no compensation. I dont mind a great free lunch at a place where I would normally wouldnt go.

    -They ask me to hang out with them ALL DAY long, I can handle it for a few hours at the club, but all day..

    -When they offer something, that is just funny, I'll give you $200.

    -They ask me out, compensate the time with amount above -the money or less they would spend in the CR with me- and they want to spend the WHOLE DAY with me, together, going boating, walking or whatever.

    -The worse: they want to walk with me on the street, sit with me in a restaurant etc. hand-in-hand, giving kiss on my lips. I do not want to be looked at "why am I walking with this old fart (or whatever it is) like that", I dont want to be "assumed" as an escort if they looked at us.


    Thank you!

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    I will explain why so many people are going to look at this and not reply:
    you asked a crapload of questions which can ALL be answered by a simple search.

    go search.
    look at the stickies on the top of this forum section.
    try recent threads.
    try words like CR and VIP. Hustling Dances. etc etc.

    if there's one thing WE hate, it's people who don't search and expect us to answer an entire new post of things that have been covered SO SO SO many times.
    pardon my bitchiness, but that's why you need to search.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Thanks, I have..
    I only thought that I have questions so I can get specific answers. Like why do the 80% of the guys want to do out with me, no dance nothing..but it doesn't happen with my co-workers.
    And I don't know how to ask for compensations for my time otc.


    Sorry for the overloaded post!

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    try again to search! there are TONS of threads that cover this. and those guys clearly are time wasters. try different wording.
    read the stickies, i know my thread (sticky) at the top talks about this topic; im not going over it again.

    Love it!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    Thanks, I have..
    I only thought that I have questions so I can get specific answers. Like why do the 80% of the guys want to do out with me, no dance nothing..but it doesn't happen with my co-workers.
    And I don't know how to ask for compensations for my time otc.


    Sorry for the overloaded post!
    If you don't know how to ask for OTC compensation, for heaven's sake realize you're not ready to do it. It will save you from putting yourself in danger.

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Don't do otc. If you can't even get them to spend money itc, then clearly your hustling skills are nowhere near developed enough to take otc. Work on your game. You probably appear naive and guys think they can take advantage of you. Don't let them. Sit for 10 minutes max. Ask for a dance. If they say no, tell them that's too bad but you need to go make money. Most important - You need to lead the conversation where you want it to go. If it isn't going your way, either correct the situation or move on. Practice practice practice. Keep reading this section and apply our collective wisdom.

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    ^^^ hee hee. We were thinking the same thing BG.

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    Featured Member Cassandra39's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Well I'll answer the second issue of guys wanting to take you out.
    You clearly don't want to, so the answer is obviously a no.
    Why not say, "how about you come visit me again in here? We can take the fun to the CR or VIP room " This pretty much tells them that you are not interested in a relationship OTC.
    From what you posted though your boundaries seem to be pretty blurred. You'll only go out to lunch if it's at a really nice place for free? I don't get if you are interested or not interested in the OTC thing?
    You just need to set firm boundaries. "I would love to go out to lunch, but unfortunatly money is tight and I need to be making money." At this point they will either offer you money or let it go.
    Use common sense on this sort of thing.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    this girl needs to develop hustling skills, she definitely should not be doing otc. she needs to read read read. search search search. and read more.

    Love it!

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    Thanks, I have..
    I only thought that I have questions so I can get specific answers. Like why do the 80% of the guys want to do out with me, no dance nothing..but it doesn't happen with my co-workers.
    And I don't know how to ask for compensations for my time otc.


    Sorry for the overloaded post!
    Sounds to me like you are way too submissive. What you need is to learn how to take control of the situation. Sitting there looking pretty is not enough in this business. Even the hottest perfect 10 cannot just sit there and expect men to start handing over cash. YOU have to take control and lead them to get lapdances or CR. When you fail to bring up the sales part, you are acting like a regular girl on a date and thats why the guys keep asking you out.

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Zabrina, Cassandra
    Thank you! Those are the answers I was looking for, the technique I need to apply on them.

    And yes, even my friends at work tell me I am waay too nice. Sometimes I feel bad about them..

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    And the view from the male side of the fence...

    I call it "date the dancer" syndrome, and most guys that come into a strip club suffer from it to one degree or another.

    Many guys who come into a strip venue are incapable of realising there is a difference between your behaviour when working and when not. They therefore assume you'll behave in the same 'uninhibited' way outside of work.

    There's also the question of availability. Outside of work, you probably wouldn't have any interest in talking to your customers. At work, you're a captive audience, doing your best to show how much you 'like' your customers. Again, most guys don't fully understand the difference.

    In short, they're interested in quietstorm the dancer, not the real you.

    The more seasoned dancers who've replied to you realise "date the dancer" syndrome is a good way to earn money - if you can convince a guy that the only way there's a faint possibility of seeing you OTC is to spend money on you ITC, then you've got every chance of hustling dances.

    I think that's why a lot of dancers get regulars - they're guys with "date the dancer" syndrom who never really realise that spending on their favourite dancer ITC is not going to get her OTC.

    I think you've had some pretty wise advice from the dancers about OTC meetings as well. Some of the customers who want to meet you OTC will be predatory guys keen to take advantage of you. You sound like a genuinely nice girl outside of work - many of the guys who want to meet you there won't be.

    Phil.

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    As for OTC, this can be dangerous and at the very least it almost always turns into a huge pain in the ass. Its so much less of a hassle to make your cash at work and keep your free-time for your real life. The only time an OTC visit is worth it, is when the customer has serious bank and is willing to spend it. If all hes offering is a typical nights pay, just make your money the normal way. Save the special treatment for the very, very generous.

    In my case, 10 years of dancing on and off I've only had dinner and otc visits with ONE customer. That's because he paid me cash every time I met him, paid my tuition, and bought me whatever I wanted. Don't waste your time lavishing attention on anything less. ---IF at all! OTC is not required, is always a risk, you don't have to do it EVER if you don't feel comfortable. You have every right to say no to these dudes.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    For now, say no to OTC. It'll be good practice at saying "no", which is something you obviously need to learn. This is a business where you have to learn quickly to assert yourself, because customers will always try to get away with too much and pay you too little.

    For now, why not just tell them the truth, that you're a very new dancer and you're just "not ready" for OTC meetings. I would think this could actually be a good line -- some guys looooove new, inexperienced dancers, and maybe they will spend some money trying to convince you that you ARE ready to go OTC. Keep saying no. Eventually most of them will probably get sick of it and move on, but you'll have their money, plus some practice at setting your boundaries and sticking to them.

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Thanks!

    I do know how to say no, in the beginning. But after a while they get to know me -I hate to lie- and know that I am not too busy on my days off, so I have time and they know what I need money for but I have a job so they won't help me out. Therefore,I ought to make up a story.

    It's late night, my eyes are crossed..

    The problem is I think not how to say no but when. After a few months, "do u like me?" "do I turn you on" and all sorts of questions are more often. When I say I do like them and it's been 5-6 months I know them, they get mad and annoyed that I don't go out for lunch/dinner and perhaps feel used coming in.
    Last edited by quietstorm; 10-25-2007 at 10:49 PM.

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    The problem is I think not how to say no but when. After a few months, "do u like me?" "do I turn you on" and all sorts of questions are more often. When I say I do like them and it's been 5-6 months I know them, they get mad and annoyed that I don't go out for lunch/dinner and perhaps feel used coming in.
    Sure they're going to feel a little used when they realise that you're not going to meet them OTC - they've just spent $X,000 on you. But is that your fault?

    Providing you've not directly misled them, then the fault is theirs for misreading the situation. There is a big difference between saying "I like you" and "I'll meet you OTC after 6 months".

    If you've never promised to meet them OTC, then you've got no reason to feel personally guilty. If your customer has got unrealistic ideas about meeting you OTC, that's his problem not yours.

    Look at it from the male POV - we're unlikely to come in and keep spending money on your without trying to rationalise it to ourselves. What's best for male self esteem?

    (a) I'm coming in spending $$$'s on a girl who'll forget me as soon as she finds her next customer.

    (b) I'm coming in spending $$$'s on a girl who's slowly growing to like me and we'll eventally meet me OTC.

    Your average male is going to chose option (b) because otherwise he's going to consider the money spent a waste. Which is fine until reality strikes and he realises all the money he's spent is not going to have the desired result.

    What is this type of customer trying to do?

    He's trying to buy your affection.

    So why worry about saying no to someone who feels all he's got to do to meet you OTC is to spend enough money on you?

    If he feels used that's his problem, not yours - after all he is trying to use you.

    Phil.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Honey, most regulars go sour after a few weeks or months or years. If you're lucky and they're being grown-ups about it, they'll just stop coming to see you. If they're childish, they'll make a scene and get mad at you, but this is really kind of rare. Has only happened to me once. And wouldn't you rather they make this scene AT THE CLUB where there are tons of other people around and security to handle them?

    Besides, if you didn't directly mislead them, it's not your fault if they're upset. It's THEIR problem, for THEM to deal with like adults. You just keep dancing and making money.

    This is one reason to keep everything in the club, though. The less of a real "relationship" you have with your customers, the less of a tangle it is to sort out if they decide they don't like being your customers in more. Keep it simple, sweetie.

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    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    I do know how to say know, in the beginning. But after a while they get to know me -I hate to lie- and know that I am not too busy on my days off, and they know what I need money for.
    Honey, it's not lying, it's called doing your job well. Why do they know you're not too busy on your days off? Make it sound like you are. Personally, I don't bother, I just say I need that time to "unwind" from work, and that I'm really antisocial in real life. They laugh and don't believe me but it diverts the topic. Create a work persona that's from a different place, has different hobbies/work/studies, etc, and always answer based on your work persona, not "you." That way they won't get under your skin.

    And yes, most regulars go sour sooner or later. I don't think I've met any girl who needs more than one hand's fingers to count the regs that didn't.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Thank you girls!!

    The problem is not only about/with the new customers.

    The old ones already know details of my life.

    The new ones, not sure if I can keep them, and we all know guys talk. I start a lie and they will share with the girls at work and I'll be "booked" as a liar.

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Oh, btw.
    I tried to read the articles about small vs. big clubs and the body language article, but those are not available, some kind of error is going on.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    it's not lying. it's doing your job right. i cant echo that enough.

    here's what i think you're missing: this is a fantasy job. you are not being a fantasy girl, you're being YOU. the thing you need to do is become the fantasy girl. you're busy on your days off, regardless. no one will peg you as a "liar", they will say, "she is good at her job." the guys who come in, our customers, they KNOW that it's a fantasy world. and they know that you are a fantasy girl. But the way you're behaving is telling them that you're NOT a fantasy and instead within their grasp, so they treat you like a date.

    how to fix: start pushing more for dances. if you bring up dances more often, then they will realize you're a sexy stripper fantasy girl in their fantasy world of stripclub utopia instead of girl next door who just might go out with them for real.


    oh and those articles aren't goign to help you as much as say reading the older posts in newbie forum and hustle hut. just read old posts all day long, and then you really are busy all day when they ask.

    i agree with grace, start saying no as often as possible. start defining the lines in your persona, with what's ok and what's not ok. tell them you lost your other job (you said you had another job to them?) and the ones who dont know you well, tell them you're so damn busy working two jobs and such that you barely have time for yourself.

    regulars clearly have a shelf life. they will tire out and you've done your best with them.

    but really start acting like a stripper and not like a girl who will date them. that's the first thing to do.

    Love it!

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    I do know how to say no, in the beginning. But after a while they get to know me -I hate to lie- and know that I am not too busy on my days off, so I have time and they know what I need money for but I have a job so they won't help me out. .
    What do you mean you aren't too busy? I mean, you're doing something on your days off, right? Even if it's just soaking in the tub or going to the gym or whatever it is you do to recover from the night before. That IS busy. Sure, you could technically make time to meet up with some loser from the club, but do you really want to? What would you rather be doing instead? Well, that's what you'll be "busy" doing.

    Sure, when you say you're busy they might ask what you're doing. Giggle and say "lots of stuff" and refuse to say more. They'll assume your shooting a porn movie or doing heroin with rockstars or something like that. Nothing wrong with a little mystery.

    And Chrissy is right: start acting like a stripper and guys will start treating you more like a stripper -- that is, a sexy babe who has to be paid for her time, and paid well.

  23. #23
    Senior Member noctina's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    quietstorm, i am here to help you. you are EXACTLY like me.

    when i started dancing, i didn't even have a stage name. i used my real name and just sat there talking to people, being MYSELF. it was hard for me to ask for dances because i was like, worried about pressuring people or going out on a limb. i didn't feel like i was in control. i've had so many nights of dancing that yielded absolutely no profit for me, and it was my own fault.

    it's all about the money. clear everything out of your head and realize that you are there for the cash. who cares about a free dinner or hanging out with customers, none of that is going to get you cash.

    the thing that helped me was getting a stage name and realizing that i live far away from this club and it doesn't matter what people think. don't be yourself, be a stripper. you don't have to feel bad about lying to custies or turning them down when they ask you out. fuck them.... why do you owe them anything? i would never in a million years hang out with a customer otc if he's never spent any money on me in the club. when customers ask for my phone number i won't even give it to them until they get dances, and then they usually get the phone number to the club. when they call that number and come back and say "oh that wasn't your phone number", i just say "yeah it's my work number, you can call and ask about my schedule so you know when to come in and see me!"

    make money in the club. let the guys know that you only exist in the club and time with you costs money. they have to get dances. if a guy is in the club and he's not spending money on you, then he is worthless to you and you owe him nothing. i think it would be dangerous for you to meet guys otc. guys can sense which girls are "too nice" and they will use your weakness to get what they want out of you. you have displayed this weakness to them by acting naive and not firm about things. you want to give off the vibe like you are a hot girl who makes big money, and if the guy doesn't have money to offer then he's out of your league and doesn't have a chance in hell of being in your awesome presence. you are a stripper and a goddess. you shouldn't have to feel cornered and pressured about shit, especially when guys wanna touch during dances. you decide your own worth and its up to you to let people know your worth. you also have to learn to be bold with the things you say and unafraid to ask for things, which is something that took me forever to overcome. now i will say to a custy, "you want to go to dinner??! i don't even know you that well, we're definitely gonna have to spend some time together here first". i'll sit and talk to the guy for a second but if he doesnt buy dances after you asking multiple times, then leave the guy and ignore him because he obviously doesn't want you that bad. come on... he wants to take you to dinner and act like your boyfriend but he honestly cant cough up $25 in the club for you? fuck that shit. its your responsibility to demand that money and to make them feel like assholes when they dont fork it over.
    hits from the boooong

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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Ur great. Thanks!

    I wouldn't mind actually telling them something is not true, after reading the posts here, however I am concerned about the people/friends I work with bc. guys talk -to them- and I dont want to appear as a lier in their eyes.


    It's hard to talk like that without a drink, and that, I dont do.

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    Featured Member Victoryx0x0's Avatar
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    Default Re: I don't know what to tell them

    Quote Originally Posted by noctina View Post
    when customers ask for my phone number i won't even give it to them until they get dances, and then they usually get the phone number to the club. when they call that number and come back and say "oh that wasn't your phone number", i just say "yeah it's my work number, you can call and ask about my schedule so you know when to come in and see me!".
    YOU ARE BRILLIANT!!!

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