After almost two months with no contact with the ex, I still cry about him every day. Is that pathetic? I have moved on sexually, i.e., had sex with another man and really enjoyed it. But I do not feel like I have moved on emotionally. I am not alright with how things went down. I feel like I will never really get over it. I am crying about the ex not only because I miss him and that is frustrating, but also because I feel like he hurt me so much and took advantage of me. When I finally stood up for myself and cut off contact with him, he hurt me in the harshest way he knew how -- by calling my 53-year-old mom in the middle of the night and telling her I have been stripping. Now I am wondering if I should trust anyone.
I just want a boy to be nice to me. That is all I ever wanted from him. Sex does not even matter to me. I just want a partner and friend at some point in my life who won't pull some crazy histrionics all the time.
I dunno...I just had to get this out...I feel like I will never get over this. I really loved him. I did everything I could to make him happy. Now I realize I did too much.
I guess I am focused on success now. Keeping my head above water, being uber responsible about my job and money situation, studying hard, trying new things, and just trying to be a nice, healthy, responsible person.
Is there any hope?



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