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Thread: Help me with this dude please

  1. #1
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    Default Help me with this dude please

    So there is this older guy, first of all he lied about his age and he still is..
    He wants romance, company and tadaa..by time: sex. I dont want none of these. He comes to my club but getting turned off by pushy girls. He sometimes comes to see me thu, we go to eat otc etc.

    I dont want to hang out with him, he wants to hold my hand and kiss me and I dont want to do that front of other people for obvious reasons.

    He criticizes me, my jewelery, he wants to take me get new ones but thats tacky and he wouldnt go buy me. I dont need jewelery,I'd like some clothes or home appliences.
    He sad I gained a little and made jokes out of it, oh well, 2lb but he still likes me. Last time, like the 5th time :so you go to gym every day? Where are your muscles? When he said this I stood up for myself and got mad at him. He apologized and I talked back. I was never rude to him or said anything nasty, Ive been very respectful and not taking advantage of his offer of getting me jewelery -regret it now, but I dont know how to accept it, now I dont know how to ask 4 it. He is like 57yo, short, red face, lonely, divorced but he "luv ya"-s me.

    I spent my time, on my free days with him, no compensation, he thinks we were on a date or what. Since this insult, I haven't talked to him but I'd like him to take me shopping or something, but I do not want to walk around hand in hand and spend time with him, sleep with him.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    umm.. why are you spending time with him if you dont want anything that he does? you dont seem to enjoy it.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    ^^^ what she said?

    Are you trying to cultivate him as a sugar daddy kind of thing? I think if you start taking things from him you will have to give something in return, whether it is being seen with you or shagging him or whatever. But it sounds like it wouldn;t be worth it for you.

    Sounds like he just needs to be told to fuck off?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    How about you just say to him "Sorry, but I dont want to do this anymore."If he is acting like its a date, break it off like its a date even if it isnt to you.

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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Yeah, I'd like to convert him to sugar daddy but don't know how, and how to tell him I'd like things. He seems like his willing to since he has nothing to spend his money on. But I dont want to seem like I only go for certain things. When I get it and get back something for the time I invested in, I will cut him off.

    I'd like to use his comment somehow to make it up for me and get me clothes. Noone has ever done but I'd like to..

  6. #6
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    It's going to be a bit tougher since you've already got him used to spending time with you for free. The classic line to start getting paid is..
    "I'd love to hang out with you at ______, but I REALLy need money and can't afford to take time off." Hopefully he takes the bait and will give you a "nights worth*" of money to take off and hang with him.

    When he offers to get you jewelry, don't be shy about steering things to what you actually want. You've been putting up with way too much for free.

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    if he is abusing you verbally and you're putting up with it for free, there is more to the story. if a guy wanted to joke about my weight, he better be buying me a gym membership etc.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    yeah, you've just totally spent your time for free with him. he wont give you money now. best to move on and find someone else who will give you what you want. money.

    and that line Zabrina quoted is the best. play up flat-broke stripper, most guys like to be knight in shining armor.

    Love it!

  9. #9
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Most likely, if hes acting like an ass you're better off just working anyways. In the end thats usually LESS of a hassle. OTC customers never last long(if you aren't putting out) and the "relationship" often ends badly.

  10. #10
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    actually, i think you need to read a lot more before you keep posting. it seems APPARENT to me from all of your posts that you need a lot of help. so, start reading. A LOT.

    Love it!

  11. #11
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    actually, i think you need to read a lot more before you keep posting. it seems APPARENT to me from all of your posts that you need a lot of help. so, start reading. A LOT.
    Yes agreed. Also your posts are often hard to understand/follow....
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  12. #12
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    ^Perhaps english is her second language.

  13. #13
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    perrcheps.

    Love it!

  14. #14
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Honestly? I think you are in over your head. I also worry that this guy is taking advantage of you. Criticizing you appearance is a classic thing guys do to keep your self-esteem down so you'll continue to put up with their bullshit.

    There might be a way to get this guy to spend more money on you... like, if he criticizes your clothes or jewelry, ask for new ones. If he offers you something you don't want, say, "Oh, that's so sweet! You're so great! But you know if you really want to make me happy, what I need is..."

    But to tell you the truth, it sounds like you're being really passive with this guy, giving away your time for free, and not getting anything back. It doesn't sound like your game is at the level to handle an OTC relationship and keep your boundaries. I say lose this guy and go back to working in the club until you have enough experience to ask for what you want and make sure you get it.

  15. #15
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Um. I don't understand. This is a customer, who comes to see you "sometimes" and you... started going out with him for free even though you don't like him?

    Okay I disapprove of sugar daddies - not on a moral basis, just a "nothing is for nothing" basis, and I think girls always expect to get the better end of a deal that there is no better end of. But anyway. If you must - there is no point in being quiet about what you want. You want a guy to help you out voluntarily - not go through an elaborate, artificial ritual every time you want him to buy you a pair of jeans. So try this variation on Zabrina's idea; "I'd love to go to dinner with you, but I have to work... maybe you can make up my night?" I mean the last thing you want as a sugar daddy is some guy who doesn't even know that he's supposed to be giving you money.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Thanks girls, I really appreciate your inputs.

    Very helpful btw!
    --
    this dude told me he's affraid of being taken advantage of..I think he has feelings for me and he thinks I was hurt before and this is why I am distant.

    But you are absolutely right, I shouldn't give my time away for free. But I don't want to lose him as a custi.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member xxambyrrxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    Quote Originally Posted by quietstorm View Post
    But you are absolutely right, I shouldn't give my time away for free. But I don't want to lose him as a custi.
    If he isn't compensating you for your time then I wouldn't consider him a customer...

    How long have you been dancing for? I have been at it for about 6 months and I only have what I would call 'Casual Regulars'. That being I don't contact them by email or phone or have any OTC contact. I tell them when I am working and if they show up we hang out... if not... oh well.

    I know that I am not willing to put in that much time and energy to maintain a relationship, and in your case it sounds like you are not getting the payoff you should. I would let him go and work strictly ITC for a while. If he comes back and is willing to make it worth your while well then you could reconsider.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    I know this bloke for about a year now, I met him outside after 6 months.
    He wanted to compensate my day off at his house by the shore..$400 for a whole day. I would have gone for something more but I back then didn'T know how to do it, now at least I read some ideas about the "deal" over here.

  19. #19
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    is he paying you or not?

    I spent my time, on my free days with him, no compensation, he thinks we were on a date or what.
    and then:
    He wanted to compensate my day off at his house by the shore..$400 for a whole day.
    so it was your idea to not charge him then?

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    He does not.

    That was the only time he wanted me not to go to work at all on my booked day and this was the amount he offered.

    Other times, he does not give me anything.

  21. #21
    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    it's his time to be cut off, if you don't enjoy spending time with him for free. that makes no sense, custy or not.

  22. #22
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Help me with this dude please

    You say he "thinks you are on a date", but if you arent making him pay you it sounds like it is a date. I really didnt understand the post very well, but why don't you just not meet him otc anymore, if you aren't able to get him to pay for otc?

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