Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 51

Thread: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

  1. #1
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    3,422
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 16 Times in 16 Posts

    Default Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Right now I'm working at a club where there is two way contact everywhere except crotch-region, except they can't touch anywhere with their faces (which is nice, because no icky tongue attempts). And we can't touch them with our faces. Also, we can't grind or get our booties anywhere on their lap...we can sit on their knee though, like to the side.

    And for some reason, this seems really okay for me. I realize it was mostly the grinding and the awareness of boners that bothered me about lapdancing. I honestly, truly, could not give a fig about people grabbing my boobs (so long as it's not violently or painfully). It's like grabbing my elbow. I have no special feelings about my boobs, whereas I'm pretty strict about anywhere NEAR my crotch...like a good eight inches away on all sides, not the lower belly, not the inner thighs, not the lower bum, that kind of thing. But so long as there's no grinding, no mouth touching, and no nearly-crotch area touching, I am rather okay with it. It was kind of a eureka moment for me that I have finally discovered my personal boundaries. It's a bonus that the club has the same boundaries.

    I just bring this up because I've noticed in many threads girls rejecting the idea of two-way contact. I'm just wondering your opinions. Does grinding annoy other people? Or lap sitting...I can't describe why it bothers me, or conversely why boob touching does not bother me...just the way it is.

    So what are your limits? Have they changed since you started dancing? Thanks!

  2. #2
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I dont like customers touching me at all. Maybe it's becaause I have only worked at a no contact club. Even if they touch my leg or my stomach I feel violated and it annoys me that they assume it's ok even after I have said no touching. I definately could not handle my breasts or butt being touched, i would not be able to do the job if that were allowed.

    Lap sitting - i dont mind for some customers while others i simply won't do. depends on how they act, if they seem grabby or in some way disgusting i really give them an air dance.

    It doesn't worry me to know they have an erection, it would prob bother me more if they didn't have one coz then i'd assume my dance wasn't good.

    I have definately gotten more comfortable with dancing for men as i have done the job longer but i could never imagine being touched. I work at a full nude club and being naked in front of a room full of people is the norm for me and i am comfortable with that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
    Guest

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I used to enjoy high two-way mileage. Since then though I've gotten to where I really don't like being touched most of the time. If it's a respectful customer who I like, a little touching is fine. But I am sick and disgusted with the assholes who just assume they have the right to molest me. Touching my silky body is a fucking PRIVILEGE, not a right, and you need to show some respect and gratitude.

    I'm trying to brace myself for an audition at a high-mileage club tomorrow. I'm hoping I don't run out of there in tears. In theory I agree with you; they're just breasts and it's not going to hurt me... but after enough groping I'm scared it's going to get to me.

  4. #4
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Touching my silky body is a fucking PRIVILEGE, not a right, and you need to show some respect and gratitude.
    word on that
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  5. #5
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 59 Times in 29 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I guess for me it's all about how the guy goes about it. If some creep just starts pawing and groping at me and making me feel like I have to defend myself, then he gets a fantastic air dance with an occasional accidental toe stomping.

    But if he's a nice guy, I don't mind a little contact. And I'll be honest here, a nice guy who is spending lots of money on me and occasionally cops a light boobie feel....big deal. go for it, knock yourself out.

    But that is not to say that getting to grab ahold of the girls is standard procedure for every dance....I guess I'm fickle.




  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
    Guest

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Touching my silky body is a fucking PRIVILEGE, not a right, and you need to show some respect and gratitude.
    Assuming the above will be in someone's siggy in short order. Well put, Yek.

  7. #7
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    My boobs and crotch are off-limits, but I don't really care if someone touches my butt (the sides, not the crack). This doesn't mean they can rub all over me throughout the dance, but they can touch a little bit. You pretty much have to allow that to make any money in strip clubs these days.

  8. #8
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3,152
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I love grinding and lap-sitting, and I mostly enjoy the small amt of contact we allow (no boobs butt or thong area). Sometimes I like a little bit more from the nice guys/big spenders, and sometimes I'm quite happy to hold their hands down on the chair. If I were working at a club that brought in more money (e.g. actually had a VIP room) but was higher mileage, I'd probably do it. I know, I'm just a tramp.


  9. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,945
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    It depends. Contact is verboten on the side of the customer. He can't touch me, but I can touch him. I'm moderate in my mileage. I will grind and slide and whatnot, but if he's gropey, after two warnings, dance is over. Respectful guys get me in my prime dancing mode, double points if he's cute. Though, I must admit, I really rogered this dude last night. He looked exactly like Matt Hardy.

  10. #10
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3,152
    Thanks
    5
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    ^^^As long as it was a jolly rogering!


  11. #11
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    when i first moved to myrtle ebach and the contact levels were much higher then my home club in ohio, i didnt think that it bothered me.

    untill i started getting really depressed and mean all the time. and my panic and anxiety kicked in more. once i got back to less contact, i felt better. sometimes you can lie to yourself so well you dont even know i guess. so im sticking to low contact.

  12. #12
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    1,420
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I am not ok with touching my ass, boobs, crotch, face or hair. Touching my legs or stomach is fine. Grinding doesn't bother me too much. Licking is never ok with me.

  13. #13
    StrayStripper
    Guest

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    when i first moved to myrtle ebach and the contact levels were much higher then my home club in ohio, i didnt think that it bothered me.

    untill i started getting really depressed and mean all the time. and my panic and anxiety kicked in more. once i got back to less contact, i felt better. sometimes you can lie to yourself so well you dont even know i guess. so im sticking to low contact.
    Same here. I can't stand being touched or touching customers (other than his shoulder or knee). It bothers me to the point of insomnia and a dead libido. I know this limits me to where I can work. No Vegas, no Myrtle Beach, no Houston ... lol.

    I'm excited that you found your comfort zone, Molly. Doesn't it lift a huge burden? When I began working within my boundaries, I'm became a much happier person.

  14. #14
    God/dess
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    The Diner State
    Posts
    5,085
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I think I've found mine at my new club-one way contact, grinding okay (varying levels-I see girls working it hard,. and others just kinda leaning), guys aren't supposed to touch at all. It happens, but the bouncers are pretty vigilant. I totally got busted by a bouncer for letting a guy RUB MY BACK in the couch room. LOL I know the rules are diff in the CR, but I haven't been there yet! I don't drink, so I don't push anything with a drinking requirement.

    Generally though-back, outside of legs, shoulders, lightly on the butt-these are fine as long as they aren't being rough, or icky or try to make me bounce on their junk. I don't mind grinding, but I am not a pocket vag. I HATE people touching my belly, face, boobs, rib area where it tickles and I want to hit them in the face.

    I am much happier now as well.

  15. #15
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Location
    VIP Room
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 77 Times in 43 Posts
    My Mood
    Happy

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I don't allow people to touch me unless I say it's ok, and that goes for any part of my body! I guess I'm a prude stripper, what can I say! I'll allow some very mild, light touching of my hair (no pulling! ) my arms, a back rub, foot rub, shoulder rub, etc. but only if they ask and I say it's ok and if I like them and they're respectful and/or if they're paying me well! Anyone who thinks they can touch me because they paid for the dance or the CR automatically gets nothing from me and nice airdance or me ending the dance right then and there! I know I couldn't work in a club that allowed/ encouraged touching, I wouldn't last! And grinding, definitely not for me, eeewww, feeling his boner just makes me sick. I could handle someone touching my legs & butt before I could feel a boner on me. I just don't like penises very much! I'm not a lesbian either, the only penis I like to feel is someone I'm involved with and nobody else! I'm 31 and yet to have a one night stand! Nobody believes me but it's true!

  16. #16
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I like to be able to do whatever I want as far as contact (aside from hand jobs, blow jobs, etc., obviously) but them not be able to touch. I do like a little leeway so I can upsell some touching to customers I'm comfortable with. Like, footrubs from footguys need to be allowed.



  17. #17
    Banned
    Joined
    Feb 2007
    Location
    ATX
    Posts
    3,502
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I don't mind grinding or lap sitting or even touching my back, tummy, legs, or butt, but get ANYWHERE near my tatas and I will go apeshit on your ass, I don't care how much money you have to spend.

    I just can't deal with it (from only guys though ) and it has cost me money on big spenders.

  18. #18
    Alaska
    Guest

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I remember TOTH came in and said it like it is for me once before....the sexual stuff I don't mind/enjoy, but the talking is what bugs me. I'm always about to blow my cover and be a "real girl" which is fun conversation but less $$.

    Actually I have to remind myself to keep one foot on the floor cuz I'm such a natural grinder from how I first learned to give a LD, which was in NY.

    Well, I take that back sort of....I honestly don't enjoy them GROPING on my breasts, they mean a lil more than my elbow to me (I know whatchoo mean tho Molly) And my least favorite of all is wanting to KISS. NO.

  19. #19
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    my club you grind. and i kind of think ive always done it, just maybe not so much. no touching boobs/crotch but they can touch you elsewhere and that took soem getting used to. sometimes i want to tell them not to touch me for various reasons but im not allowed so whatever.. i deal with it. it doesnt bother me that much.

  20. #20
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    868
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    So is bewbie grabbing considered an extra? I've had dancers grab me and vice-versa and thought that was the norm?

  21. #21
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Quote Originally Posted by SarahSynn View Post
    So is bewbie grabbing considered an extra? I've had dancers grab me and vice-versa and thought that was the norm?
    that depends on the club. all extras cant be defined universally.

  22. #22
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I've slowly gotten used to more and more contact. The first time I worked at a club where grinding was allowed I was really freaked out by it; now it seems normal. My preferred level is light two-way contact. I don't at all mind customers touching my back, legs, hair, neck -- pretty much anywhere but the vag and boobs -- if they touch them in a nice way. A surpising number of guys I dance for do touch really sensuously, and I enjoy that. (On the other hand, surprising number of guys touch me like they have never seen a naked girl before and don't know what to do with one.)

    To tell the truth, I don't mind particularly mind light boobie touching if it's done in a nice way -- I totally know what MZM means by 'like an elbow' -- but I am paranoid about breaking club rules, so I would never allow it in a place where it wasn't the norm. Not that the managers give a rat's ass at most places I've ever worked, but the other girls do, and I'm not into pissing them off.

    The thing I hate most is being grabbed and bounced around like a rubber fuck dolly. Ew. I feel like I have a little dog humping my leg or something. That's the only time I will give an "air dance" for my own sanity. I walked away from money last Friday because I couldn't stand the way the guy was handling me, even though everything we were doing was within the club norms.

  23. #23
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    9,746
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 50 Times in 31 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    I have a very complicated relationship with contact. Sometimes I like it or I work myself up to liking it - like I act like it so much I forget that I'm faking - and then later hate myself. Sometimes I'm pretty indifferent and what I'm choking on is the faking. Sometimes I'm okay until the guy starts starts talking about what a great couple we'd be and then I want to puke. Sometimes there is just something about the guy that sickens me. And sometimes I am actually into it.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  24. The Following User Says Thank You to Jenny For This Useful Post:


  25. #24
    Veteran Member Jeanette's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    569
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    For me it depends on the level of respect I feel I'm getting from the customer. If they are grabby and feel like they are entitled to groping my boobs or even getting a grind, I feel disgusted and annoyed. Whereas if I'm dancing for someone that does not pressure and is into getting to know me as an individual and make sure that I am enjoying myself, I most likely will be able to relax and enjoy myself, and will be much more lenient with two way contact. I prefer it to be a more sensual/fun experience, and for me it is the majority of the time.

    If I haven't worked in awhile, it can definitely be shocking, and hard to get used to the contact again. I think the more often I work the more desensitized I become. When I was working at a club that was more of a hustle every song kind of club(instead of having hour booths) it was much more stressful for me, and I'd go home feeling dirty and taken advantage of because of what these guys would try to get away with for $20. And in order to make money, you'd have to be able to compete, and become desensitized, because a lot of men were just looking at you as an object, not an actual human.

  26. #25
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2002
    Location
    On a sweet muddy river.
    Posts
    6,399
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 78 Times in 43 Posts

    Default Re: Just a question about personal comfort levels in lapdancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I have a very complicated relationship with contact. Sometimes I like it or I work myself up to liking it - like I act like it so much I forget that I'm faking - and then later hate myself. Sometimes I'm pretty indifferent and what I'm choking on is the faking. Sometimes I'm okay until the guy starts starts talking about what a great couple we'd be and then I want to puke. Sometimes there is just something about the guy that sickens me. And sometimes I am actually into it.
    Jenny... does your behavior change when your comfort levels change? Like, do you set different boundaries? Just curious, and sorry if it's none of my business.



Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Question: How do you define contact levels?
    By Morgan_TX in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 07-12-2010, 12:04 PM
  2. question about nude lapdancing
    By TrophyClub in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 02-18-2010, 05:35 PM
  3. chart of the week - personal + gov't debt levels
    By Melonie in forum Dollar Den
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-07-2008, 05:49 PM
  4. Another question... personal
    By Kgirl in forum Body Business
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07-30-2005, 05:58 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •