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Thread: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

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    Default what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Let's say you came in to the club one night, met a dancer you were attracted to, and dropped a decent ammount of money on her. Let's say the two of you clicked and she told you to come back and see her any time and then gave you her email address. Let's say you emailed her a week later and asked her if she'd like to have lunch some time?

    Have you ever done this? And what were your motives, exactly? Are you hoping to turn a commercial transaction into a romantic relationship? Are you working up to offering her $xx for a blowjob? Do you just want to see what she looks like in daylight?

    If she said no, would you be crushed? Would you go back to see her again at the club? Would you just move on to an easier target?

    Just polling. Thanks.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Everything guys do re: women is motivated by pussy.

    Everything I do, anyway.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Have you ever done this?
    Yes

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    And what were your motives, exactly?
    If I click with someone regardless of how we met, and if we are available, I will give it a go, to see what is there.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Are you hoping to turn a commercial transaction into a romantic relationship?
    That would be thinking way to much about it, just seeing if there is something there.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Are you working up to offering her $xx for a blowjob?
    No need to go otc to discuss that.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Do you just want to see what she looks like in daylight?
    No

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    If she said no, would you be crushed?
    No, just seeing if something is there.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Would you go back to see her again at the club?
    Sure why not...

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Would you just move on to an easier target?
    Target? Umm thinking to much about it.

    Like Shot said, its biological, no need really to get up in arms about it.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    I'm not up in arms, I promise. Just trying to figure out what to do in this situation. Or rather, how best to say no. "Clicking" in the club, where you're being paid to click, is very different fromn clicking in real life.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Svelt View Post
    No need to go otc to discuss that.
    I don't know about that. I've never actually given a customer a blowjob or sex or anything in exchange for money - but I would be much more likely to consider a good offer made by email than inside the actual club. (Of course, keep in mind that by "good" I have that whole virtuous thing going on where "good" is actually grossly inflated). Like whatever arrangements girls make to see guys outside the club, I am pretty damn sure that there are no girls doing... you know. Blowjobs inside the actual club.

    and... it's a biological imperative to try to date strippers? Are you sure?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    And by "seeing if something is there" we are basically talking about finding out whether or not the dancer will have sex with you? That's the biological imperative part, right?

    I've always assumed that OTC feelers are directed towards finding out whether a dancer is sexually or romantically available, which is why I've always turned them down. Just wondering if I'm missing something, and if there is any reason a customer would want to see a dancer OTC other than trying to rejigger the customer/dancer relationship into something else.

    Come on, guys. I'm all ears.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I don't know about that. I've never actually given a customer a blowjob or sex or anything in exchange for money - but I would be much more likely to consider a good offer made by email than inside the actual club. (Of course, keep in mind that by "good" I have that whole virtuous thing going on where "good" is actually grossly inflated). Like whatever arrangements girls make to see guys outside the club, I am pretty damn sure that there are no girls doing... you know. Blowjobs inside the actual club.

    and... it's a biological imperative to try to date strippers? Are you sure?
    Once again, over thinking it. Shes just a girl, and if we clicked... why wouldn't I pursue it. How often do you actually click with someone? Oh wait her being a dancer completely removes all posibility of her being, um you know... a girl.

    Oh yeah I am totally positive there are no girls doing extras anywhere near a SC.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    And by "seeing if something is there" we are basically talking about finding out whether or not the dancer will have sex with you? That's the biological imperative part, right?
    I can speak for myself, the rest of the three legged who knows. "Seeing if something is there" means getting to know them, seeing if there really is an attraction, common interest, mutual lust or whatever. That "click" was biology slapping my brain to do something about it. ITC is non-reality, otc is possible reality. Really neither one of you knows how you will react to each other until you are out of the club.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    I've always assumed that OTC feelers are directed towards finding out whether a dancer is sexually or romantically available, which is why I've always turned them down. Just wondering if I'm missing something, and if there is any reason a customer would want to see a dancer OTC other than trying to rejigger the customer/dancer relationship into something else.
    IMO its not that big a deal, if either of you brings it up, otc, its just asking the question, is there something here? When I was younger sure, I did this. Now not so much, cause really what is the possibility there really is something there, the mutual interests other than perhaps sex just aren't likely. Its not like sex isn't available from other venues.

    Why the preoccupation with this topic, guys are gonna chase girls... its biology.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    Everything guys do re: women is motivated by pussy.

    Everything I do, anyway.
    Well.. there is a certain strong element of truth to this. I have to admire Sh0t for saying it without a spin.

    And I could spin a lot of BS, but facts be facts, and the facts are we are guys, and we are wired to do all manor of things from self-improvement, spending money, being kind, being protective, and much more because of our want of women. So you know, attractive girl gives a guy her email address and implies they have something in common and it could go farther, it's not really rocket science. A guy is going to make an effort because it might work out he ends up having a sexual relationship, and if it doesn't, really nothing lost.

    I don't think it requires a lot more analysis then that. I too can trace a lot of our apparent higher aspirations back to "motivation by pussy" as Sh0t put it. I realize that doesn't sound very admirable, or deep, or moving, but it is what it is. My brain and genes are certainly wired that way and I have no shame in admitting that within the last couple of minutes while writing this reply various sexual thoughts crossed through my brain many times. Sex on the mind is more or less a non-stop reality, even when I'm busy actively working on something non-sexual, it's always there, in the background.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Svelt View Post
    Once again, over thinking it. Shes just a girl, and if we clicked... why wouldn't I pursue it. How often do you actually click with someone? Oh wait her being a dancer completely removes all posibility of her being, um you know... a girl.
    I think I was responding more to the idea that there is no need to leave the club to discuss sex for money. And while semantically, there is obviously no "need" I was pointing out how it might, in some circumstances, improve the changes of success.

    Oh yeah I am totally positive there are no girls doing extras anywhere near a SC.
    Dude, what I do as a matter of course would be perceived as pretty fucking disgusting by most of these girls (sorry ladies - I live in a rough town). And yet. I can comfortably say, without fear of being naive, that inside the walls of my exact club, girls are not giving blowjobs. Again. A situation in which your chances of successfully getting a blowjob in exchange for money (you remember how above you said that there is no need to leave the club?) would be improved by.. you know. Leaving the club. I'm not exactly sure why you want to turn that statement into "no dancers anywhere do extras" - I mean, unless you are just hugely sexually excited by arguing with girls (are you? You can tell us. We're very non-judgmental. I swear.) - but I'm sure you have your reasons.
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    I've always assumed that OTC feelers are directed towards finding out whether a dancer is sexually or romantically available, which is why I've always turned them down. Just wondering if I'm missing something, and if there is any reason a customer would want to see a dancer OTC other than trying to rejigger the customer/dancer relationship into something else.
    I count three dancers as friends outside of work - although it was work where I first met them. Oldest friendship is heading for 6 years now. (2 of the 3 took the initiative in mentioning OTC).

    When I first met a dancer OTC there was an element of curiosity about the sexual/romantic element, but I wan't fool enough to push it when I realised that wasn't her intent. Main reason I guess was that we'd taken a bit of a liking to each other when we chatted and it was nice to see each other away from the work environment.

    Wasn't a overnight process, but the friendships have become quite close - and there's a lot of trust on both sides. For example, it's not unknown for one dancer to make use of my spare bedroom.

    I still do see them at work, but that's primarily to give them a lift home - and it's a given that I don't take any interest in them when they're dancing. Conversely, they've made it very clear that I'm not part of their income stream at work.

    Key thing though is that we would have been friends wherever we met - we just met in an unusual enviroment. The fact that they're dancers isn't important to me -
    my interest in them is outside of work.

    I'd also say that this sort of relationship is pretty unusual - it's probably not for 99% of dancers. It just suits me and the girls concerned.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    And by "seeing if something is there" we are basically talking about finding out whether or not the dancer will have sex with you? That's the biological imperative part, right?
    LOL. Contrary to popular belief, not all men/boys are just looking for sex. I've had many lovers, but even more platonic relationships with the opposite gender. "Seeing if something is there" can be looking for sex, someone to talk to or confide in (who won't make judgments), someone to have fun with (parties/clubbing/skydiving/playing chess?), someone to make money with (partners/employee/consulting/etc.), someone looking to "fix" you, or be "fixed" themselves, or something else completely.

    Due to the nature of your work and the side of males you normally see in the club, it's understandable to jump right to the sexual motives, but there can be other ones as well. Personally, whether or not someone is a dancer is pretty irrelevant to me, on a personal level. It's a job. We (almost) all have them, and we all pretty much feel the same after a long day of work. We all act differently at work than at home.

    In your particular situation, who knows what his motives may be, but don't go making broad assumptions. *shrug* He might just be a stalker. If you don't have the time or the interest, it doesn't much matter what his reason is though, just reject and move on.
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    Everything guys do re: women is motivated by
    pussy.
    I can't really disagree with this though I try not to make an ass out of myself over it.
    I never do the asking in the SC environment. I'm just not presumptuous enough to assume that a hot 30 something stripper would ever be interested in seeing a dumpy middle-aged married guy OTC for any reason, including paid sex. This doesn't mean I don't have a plethora of dancer phone numbers and email addy's but they offered em' all and that puts the motivation on their end-be it financial or friendly.
    What's the difference? Who knows but it works for me. I've had to deal with a minimum of SS over the years and I'm fairly certain that it's because I stick with ladies who are confident in what their MO is and aren't afraid to be upfront with a guy who treats them fairly and honestly.
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Interesting responses. I should say that I'm not asking about a specific instance, but a scenario that comes up over and over again. I'm basically wondering whether, when you ask a dancer out, it means you have lost interest in the dancer as a dancer and are only interested in pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship.

    I reject OTC requests out of hand, because I assume the answer to that question is yes and I really don't need more "friends" nearly as badly as I need more money. But once in a while I like to questions my assumptions. So far, sounds like I was barking up the right tree.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Interesting responses.
    You are always going to get a spectrum of responses. Thus far you've got 'sex', 'friendship' and 'not interested in OTC' as possible reactions. I'll guess that sex is a primary motivation for most OTC requests, but it's not the only motivation.

    If you search in the forum, you'll find one or two dancers saying they met their husbands while at work and it ended up just fine.

    OTH, you find dancers saying they met bf's via work, and they turned out to be right douche bags.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    I'm basically wondering whether, when you ask a dancer out, it means you have lost interest in the dancer as a dancer and are only interested in pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship.
    What makes you think the interest is not sexual in the club? We males are more driven by visual stimuli than women. If we were interested in you purely as a dancer, you wouldn't have to take your clothes off.

    I think a lot of the OTC interest is because:

    (a) Most men never realise there is a difference in your behaviour inside the club and outside - and thus think 'dancer you' = 'real you'.

    (b) You are approachable in the club (and thus a captive audience). Again, most men don't fully realise you're only talking to them ITC because you need to earn - and hence assume that a willingness to talk ITC can be turned into an OTC encounter.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    I reject OTC requests out of hand, because I assume the answer to that question is yes and I really don't need more "friends" nearly as badly as I need more money.
    That's to assume there's a single correct response to requests and a single probable outcome to OTC meetings.

    You clearly would be uncomfortable meeting anyone OTC - which would make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Accordingly, you're probably right to reject OTC requests.

    Other dancers (with different motivations) can have a different attitude.

    There's no right or wrong way to deal with OTC - it's really down to the personalities and intentions of the people involved.

    (Thought I'd have to say that purely on the balance of probabilities, dancers have every reason to be skeptical about OTC requests).

    Phil.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    What makes you think the interest is not sexual in the club? We males are more driven by visual stimuli than women. If we were interested in you purely as a dancer, you wouldn't have to take your clothes off.
    Oh, come on. By "dancer" I mean "naked, writhing slut-muffin" or whatever else you want to term it. Of course the interest is sexual. But it's also limited and commercial. To say it again, when you ask for OTC, are you indicating that you want to the sexual part of the relationship to continue but are no longer interested in the commercial aspects, i.e., you would like me to continue to be a naked writhing slut-muffin, but for free.

    What I want to know is, would you continue to spend money on a dancer who saw you outside of the club? Would you continue to spend a money on a dancer who rejected you for outside meetings?

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    What I want to know is, would you continue to spend money on a dancer who saw you outside of the club?
    I would guess some will answer no as they have really confused business and pleasure, but I admit, even though I haven't asked for it, I've often thought that it would be kind of cool to get a private dance OTC. No bouncers, no other club members, no noise, just peace and quiet and privacy. I don't mean for sex, but the privacy, a drink, a bit more time, might make for a more enjoyable experience. It would seem kind of weird though to hang out with her OTC as friends, and then see her as a dancer in the club. But I can see why a guy would want to buy dances OTC.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Oh, come on. By "dancer" I mean "naked, writhing slut-muffin" or whatever else you want to term it.
    Fair comment - I answered too superficially first time time round.

    In many cases there must be an element of wanting the "naked writhing slut-muffin, but for free". However, as well as the commercial imperitive, there's also one related to the male psyche.

    Many males (me included) find a girl with an exhibistionistic streak a bit of a turn on. ITC, it's clear the dancer is motivated by the need to earn. OTC, there's the delicious fantasy that she'd continue to dance for pure pleasure.

    OTC requests may well combine the two factors.

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    What I want to know is, would you continue to spend money on a dancer who saw you outside of the club? Would you continue to spend a money on a dancer who rejected you for outside meetings?
    You need input from the dancers in this thread as to whether they continue to get money from customers they see OTC. Certainly, I've seen previous posts from dancers suggesting that they use it as a tool to keep regulars spending.

    OTH, the stakes are being raised. By seeing a customer outside to keep him spending on you ITC, his expectation may well that if he keeps spending on you OTC, he'll get sex.

    I'll comment on my personal circumstances. The dancers I mentioned in my previous posts are friends - I have absolutely no interest in them while they're dancing. I feel uncomfortable if I watch them, and that feeling is recriprocated.

    My priority is them outside of work. I far prefer meeting up with them when they're not working, but I'll meet them while they're working to help out with lifts home, etc. I'd quite cheerfully wait outside the venue for them, but they tend to want me to come in. As one said, "it's reasuring to know you're around".

    As I said earlier, there are a wide range of motivations for OTC.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I would guess some will answer no as they have really confused business and pleasure, but I admit, even though I haven't asked for it, I've often thought that it would be kind of cool to get a private dance OTC. No bouncers, no other club members, no noise, just peace and quiet and privacy.
    If simply taking standard ITC business off the premises (i.e. no sex, no personal relationship) qualifies as OTC, then I'd have to agree.

    Since the motivation is still a commercial one, weighing the costs and benefits of buying a block of time from a private dancer, versus what that same money would get you in the club becomes a big factor. Its nice to have all of the following...

    1. Complete and undivided attention from your entertainer
    2. Sometimes getting your entertainer when she's fresh and well rested.
    3. Not having to deal with or reject dancers you don't want
    4. Not having to buy drinks or bottles of champagne you don't want,
    5. Not having to tip bouncers, bathroom attendants or VIP hosts
    6. Being able to pick your own music.

    ...even if the cost of a hotel room and/or paying her for gas monetarily cancels out benefits of not using the club. IMO, if you have a good relationship with the gal, its well worth it.

    Although, I think by OTC, Grace was suggesting availability of things (either sex, a personal relationship or both) that generally aren't available ITC.
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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    ...Its nice to have all of the following...

    (snipped list)
    Exactly, that list does sound rather appealing. The club environment has it's downsides.

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish View Post
    Although, I think by OTC, Grace was suggesting availability of things (either sex, a personal relationship or both) that generally aren't available ITC.
    You are probably right. That moves into dangerous or at least confusing waters though. I generally keep my business and personal life as separate as possible.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    I think if I was to do an OTC meet with a "naked, writhing slut-muffin", sex may be on my mind. But I dont so I wouldnt know.

    And Grace I may take that as my siggie ... it cracked me up!!! In fact I will take it ...thx

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    What I want to know is, would you continue to spend money on a dancer who saw you outside of the club? Would you continue to spend a money on a dancer who rejected you for outside meetings?
    Speaking for myself I would answer "yes" to both questions. I have now had a fair number of OTC encounters (some platonic, some a bit more, and one an actual dating situation) and I have never asked for OTC. I just go to have fun.

    Am I motivated by sex? Most definitely as I am healthy and all parts are working. Is sex the only thing that motivates me? No. As much as I love sex with a hot lady there are other things in life that hold value. Face it, in a strip club hot looking ladies are a dime a dozen. The one that gets me spending is the hot one that can carry an interesting and fun conversation. If I meet a woman like that (in any arena) does that bring up sexual feelings? Most definitely. It also brings up the simple feeling of enjoying her company.

    If I like her and she wants to spend time outside the club I will still spend on her when she is in the club. If she does not want to spend time outside the club, then I will still spend on her in the club.

    That is MY point of view.

    NOTE: I have never done OTC for cash. I am not into prostitution. I am not judging those that do. It just does not appeal to me. If a dancer offers me sex for money...that is a deal killer for me.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    I've never asked for OTC and don't plan on it either. I also make it a habit to turn down numbers and email addresses as I'm not interested in dealing with the drama as a result of it. Of course there have been exceptions such as a dancer retiring, etc.

    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    Quote Originally Posted by Svelt View Post
    Once again, over thinking it. Shes just a girl, and if we clicked... why wouldn't I pursue it. How often do you actually click with someone? Oh wait her being a dancer completely removes all posibility of her being, um you know... a girl.
    Her being a dancer doesn't remove all possibility of her being a girl but it does throw into the equation the chance (a good one at that) that you never clicked with the girl in the first place and that she was just acting like she clicked with you to drain your wallet.

    I usually "click" in this artificial way with all of my customers, the thoughts going on inside my head tho may make them think otherwise. I have never been interested in meeting them OTC.

    And Jenny is right. You cannot assume all clubs have dancer's performing extras. Extras are pretty uncommon in Melbourne where I dance for instance. The worst"extra" I have ever seen in my club is a dancer kissing a customer. A blowjob just couldn't physically happen as the club is open, no private rooms and that shit just wouldn't be tolerated.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: what are you motives in asking for OTC?

    It took me 4-yrs to ask for my ATF tel # strictly for business purposes. Actually I don't even remember how it came-up. I think I was talking about having dinner at the club's restaurant (with my buddy not her).

    I've only called it to let her know that I would be in town. Talked about having dinner 1-time and that was yet, but figured she'd flake or something.

    In fact a couple of times, she would comment "I'm surprised you didn't ask about having dinner."

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