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Thread: I hate being in the closet.

  1. #26
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Yeah, I realized after I posted it that I should've put it in SG. I apologize and the mods can move it if they need to.

  2. #27
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Don't apoligize to me! Just post a "I really lust after skinny white guys", thread. Come on HEAVE HO the illusion!

  3. #28
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Nope, I like big burly muscles!

  4. #29
    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Bitch.


  5. #30
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Madcap View Post
    Don't apoligize to me! Just post a "I really lust after skinny white guys", thread. Come on HEAVE HO the illusion!
    I like skinny white guys

    'Course, I also like hot southern strippers who live in LA in their proverbial stripper closet
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  6. #31
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Oh no! How do you feel about Southern strippers who live half in and half out of the stripper closet in Oregon? Cause, yanno, I know somebody I could set you up with. *cough*

  7. #32
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Oh, well, I mean if they live in Oregon they have to come out of the closet SOMETIMES cuz it's so pretty! So, um, yes I like those too
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  8. #33
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    I need to go back to Utah today.

  9. #34
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Yes, yes you do!!!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  10. #35
    Senior Member hustlebunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Wow this thread is on the money...

    I watch my younger sibling have amazingly open conversations and exchanges with my family. I am very quiet and don't talk much because I HATE LYING!!! They think that I bartend in between building my true passion. They also look at me like *sigh* two degrees why won't she just get a job...I was saying to my mom the other day that i am so exhausted from working day and night and her reply was, "well,you won't like my advice. Get a job like the rest of us." Nice...and be miserable because I would no longer have the time/money to pursue my true passion AND be broke, be told when I have to be there, when i can leave, when to eat, when to pee even...no thanks!!!

    I am at a stage where I want to meet people that are more like minded than my old friends but end up hanging alone because I want to avoid the what do you do/why are you never available at night shuffle. Also most of my old friends don't have enough money to even do simple things like eat out. I want to discuss investments and ways to grow money, future goals...they want to still talk about how hard it is to be poor...BUT they don't judge me for dancing...

    I spend more and more time ALONE. It sucks. I feel like there are so many of us who are great and yet never get to freely be because of the stigma...I do not like that i care so much about what people think...I have a fear about the stigma limiting my life...like another poster said you can't untell...I'm glad so many other people get how difficult it is because unless someone is in this world they don't get it.
    "Whether YOU think you can or YOU think you can't you're right!" -Henry Ford

  11. #36
    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    I just wanted to let the OP know that I feel for her as clearly we all do and I meant to say so in my first post BUT its just a subject that we all clearly have issues with that by the time I was done pouring my heart out ( I actually I was just getting started and skimmed around the lot of it ) I realized how long it was and stopped . So anyhoo , your grandparents sound like old people and nothing you tell them is going to be good enough because ONE they love you and TWO they come from simpler times sweetie and they have NO CLUE what its like for us today .....my mom always asks me why I don;t just get married "can;t you just find someone to marry you " she says ....I try to tell her its just not like that anymore but it was in her time so she doesn't get it . Try to let it roll of your shoulders babe , its not personal and YOU KNOW that you are on the right path so try and let that be your focus when they are talking behind your back and rolling their eyes !!!!

  12. #37
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Aughhh, I came THIS close to telling my mom this morning. Apparently my grandparents told her, "Here she she is with a Master's degree and she's bartending and moving to Oregon with some boyfriend like a trailer-maid." Apparently I'm worthless white trash because I have a tattoo and I live with a guy I'm not married to. WTF is that piece of paper worth? I'm already fucking divorced!

    I know they wish I'd stayed with my ex-husband, so it would be me out in the house in the suburbs with him, working nine to five to make someone else rich, watching TV every night until falling asleep, slowly growing fat and old. That's the life that would make my FAMILY happy, so who gives a shit whether it makes ME happy or not?

    And they think I'm giving up what I don't have to move to Portland with "some boyfriend" (who loves and respects me for who I actually am) and be a bartender. I just want to call them and scream, "I'm moving to Portland so I can live happily doing naked lapdances for strangers and have more money and free time to make short films and write and pursue the life I want! I DANCE NAKED AND I LOVE IT, and I love my NON-MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP!"

    Grrrr. Fucking family. I'm so pissed right now I could scream. I need to just let it go, and I will eventually, but right now I am fuming. I hate holding this all in.
    Where does your family live? If they are not close to where you are moving, can you tell them you've gotten some kind of job in production or something? If they aren't close-by then they will never know.

    The other thing is that you have to stop worrying about getting their approval. Obviously they have problems with things you are already doing, and I wouldn't compound it by telling them you are dancing. But I wouldn't worry about them needing to know the truth either.

    I'm kind of like Scarlet Vancouver in that I don't admit to dancing, but I am very honest about everything else in my life. Yes, I have to skirt around the issue occasionally (very rarely actually, because I think somewhere in their heads they know what I'm up to), but it's better than having the horribly strained relationship with them that I used to have.

    I value my family above everything else in this life, and if I have to keep a secret to keep from hurting them, then it is worth it if I have to sacrifice a little bit. If there's any way this information could cause estrangement with them, I would advise not to tell no matter how tempting it is. If they don't like you bartending, I can only imagine what they'd say about stripping. When I was honest about it before I thought it would feel so great to get it off my chest and live honestly, but it turned out so badly and the ramifications of it still affect my relationship with my dad.

    I don't even remember exactly how it happened. I think I said something to my mom, and she told my dad. Then the shit hit the fan. I still have an eight page (front and back), handwritten letter from my dad that is the most nauseating, gut-wrenching, guilt-tripping, hurtful, horrible bunch of words a father could ever say to a daughter. It was brutal. And of course, that wasn't the end of it. The verbal criticisms lasted for years, so long that I missed holiday dinners and would go months without seeing my family. Had I known how horrible it would be I would have never said a word about it. It was NOT worth it in any way.

    Sometimes we keep secrets to protect others, and sometimes we keep them to protect ourselves---in this case, I think you'd be doing both.

  13. #38
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Great post, Andygirl. You're absolutely right. It's just so frustrating sometimes!

  14. #39
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Yek I'm so thrilled you're coming to Portland!!! You can come hang out in my big closet.
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

  15. #40
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate being in the closet.

    Me too! The more I hear about Portland the more excited I get!

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