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Thread: Talking to men

  1. #1
    God/dess
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    Default Talking to men

    How do you approach men for lap dances? I don't want to talk about anything personal like my other job or school, family, ect. but at the same time you obviously can't be like "how's the weather?" How do I talk to men and how do I ask them if they want a dance? Also, I don't know how to avoid being/appearing fake.

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Some guys come to the stage to tip you, and tell you to come see them. Sometimes you just have to pick someone out of the crowd. I start by walking up to a guy, introducing myself, "Hi! I'm Ariana. May I sit with you?". And yeah, I've been told no. It's rude. Anyways, I meet the guy, get his name, are you from here/what do you do/do you come here often. Stupid crappy lines as if you were a guy trying to pick up a girl at a bar. Or maybe first date convo. If he offers to buy me a drink, soon afterwards I ask if he'd like a private dance. If he says something early in the convo like that he's had a rough day, use it. Say, Oh sounds like you really need a private dance, sweetie. Or something like that. But every girl has a different approach. I've seen a number of girls actually dragging guys to VIP without so much as a hello...

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Thanks for the info, PrettyCurlieQ. I haven't started dancing yet, I'm just getting ready to start approaching some clubs. I would feel way more comfortable with men telling me to come see them afterwards. I like the idea of asking them are you from here and do you come here often and what not. That is nice simple talk that keeps the focus on them but isn't too lame. I'm not nervous about dancing but I'm nervous for lap dances and approaching men for them.

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Yeah approaching the guys was always my biggest weakness. You won't always have guys asking you from the stage. Well you might, but I don't always. Even guys that plan to get a dance or a few from you might not tell you, so you just have to suck it up and be social. That's where liquor helps. I'd be so anti-social if I couldn't have a cocktail when trying to act interest in some old, boring, annoying man. lol

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    LOL. I'm sure a cocktail or two would help with that. Also, should I expect to get most of my money from lap dances? Do girls get tipped a considerable amount while on stage?

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    LOL. I'm sure a cocktail or two would help with that. Also, should I expect to get most of my money from lap dances? Do girls get tipped a considerable amount while on stage?
    I'm gonna say that 80% of my money comes from doing dances and champagne rooms. That's probably not very accurate, but there's been nights where $200 came from stage money and I sat around and drank with my friends and didn't make anything else. And there's been nights when I hustle and barely get a few bucks on stage, but I make money doing dances. Just depends.

    Also the way you asked if girls get tipped a lot on stage.. some do, some don't. Depends on how you look and the crowd. Maybe you should visit a SC and watch what the girls do to answer some of your questions.

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    I don't want to talk about anything personal like my other job or school, family, etc...
    Unfortunately, you might find the male of the species does like to talk about such things. Many guys are absolutely fascinated by dancers and try and ferret out personal details. It's one of the hazards of the job.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    but at the same time you obviously can't be like "how's the weather?"
    You might not need a massive amount of conversation. Guy's like chatting to dancers, because in general they're not paying for the privilege. Dancers don't like chatting to guys for more than 5 minutes without getting a dance for the very same reason.

    Also you can repeat the same conversation to different guys - they won't know you said the same thing to the last guys. If you need it, you've got one very obvious topic of conversation - the music. Alternatively, the headlines in today's newspaper will give you something to talk about.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    How do I talk to men and how do I ask them if they want a dance?
    I defer to PrettyCurlieQ on that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    Also, I don't know how to avoid being/appearing fake.
    Why worry about it? A strip club is a highly articifial environment where you the dancers and we the customers behave very differently from real life.

    Firstly, many (most?) dancers develop an alternative personality that they use in a strip club. It can be very different from their real life one. So, they're being 'fake' from the moment they put on their gown and make up.

    Secondly, the odds are very low that you're going to see any of us outside the club (OTC). We probably don't know you're being fake - if if we do think so, what can we do about it? Worst is, we won't buy a dance from you.

    Only thing to avoid to to be too transparently keen on money ('wanna dance' syndrome). We guys will swallow many things, but we do like the illusion that you're doing the job for the fun of it, not just the money.

    Phil.

  8. #8
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Talking to men

    You will find it necessary to discuss your personal life in depth on occasion. Make up a "stripper" persona. Make up a back story , who are you , where are you from, who is important in your life, what do you do besides dance(this is a big one), what are your ambitions, hobbies, etc. If you research and make up the whole thing, for your "stripper self", then that is who you are when you are at work. I always use the same information with everyone, so it doesnt get confusing, but I have been using my backstory so long I sometimes forget it's not real (when Im at work).

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Thanks everyone for your advice. I like the idea of having a stripper persona. I think I will do that so I can answer guy's questions instead of telling them "I don't give out personal info" which is not a good way to get a guy to buy a dance.

    What do you say when a guy turns down a dance? I mean obviously it's going to happen, but what do you say as you move on to the next guy?

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    ...I like the idea of having a stripper persona...
    At the risk of dispensing advice from the other side of the fence, stripper personas have more than one use.

    It can be an emotionally bruising business in that a percentage of the guys you meet will be right f*cktards who will make hurtful comments. I've know dancers rationalise that by saying they're being rude to my stripper alter ego and if they were ever lucky enough to know me outside of work they wouldn't be offensive.

    I've also known dancers behave very differently at work to real life merely because they've constructed a work character that they slip into as soon as they arrive in the dressing room.

    Quote Originally Posted by NewMoon View Post
    What do you say when a guy turns down a dance? I mean obviously it's going to happen, but what do you say as you move on to the next guy?
    Whatever you do don't take it personally. It's not. As customers we all walk into a strip venue with a metal image of the stripper we want to buy dances from. If our mental image is different from you there's nothing you can do about it.

    All you can go is keep moving around the venue until you find someone who does want a dance from you. Some nights it will be quick and some nights it won't.

    If we say no, just give a sweet smile, say thanks and move on to the next guy.

    After all, you've got your dancer persona, so we're not rejecting you personally, we're rejecting your alter ego.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: Talking to men

    Check the Hustle Hut. We cover "how to approach customers" "how to get them interested in a dance" "how long to wait before moving on" "how to move on" pretty much all the time, and there are really good suggestions.

    At my club, stage tips are total hit-or-miss. I've gone up and made $0 for my entire set. (Hate that!) And even if they tip, they may not ask you to dance for them later. Be prepared to have to sell your own dances and get ready for a night of introducing yourself to strangers, starting just enough of a conversation to make you seem both relateable and desirable, hopefully dancing, and moving on to another stranger.

    I don't think that I'm fake at work. I think I amplify my naturally attractive, sociable personality traits--I'm normally kind of goofy, playful, and a tease, so I just pump up those vibes 200% and that's Stripper Me.


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