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Thread: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

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    Default Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Yep, another one of those nights where I left crying. I am seriously questioning rather this job is for me. I am leaning towards "no" at this point.
    First it was a guy who says "Yeah, I've seen you in here before, but I've never gotten any dances from you, cause frankly, I'm scared of you. You look like some mean biker chick thats going to kick my ass or something. I can see your not having a good night. Can I make some suggestions? First if all, you need a tan. You're way too pale. I myself, and most guys hate pale skin. You also need to get rid of that dark hair and lighten it up a bit, get a better haircut and get rid of those bangs. I would also look into having your tattoos removed or covered up. You lack mass appeal"
    Then he proceeds to offering me a drink, "You need a drink. Whatcha want?" As in I NEED a drink. Cause I am so hideous and am not making any money. Oh yeah and don't forget poor little me lacks "mass appeal"
    About an hour later: walking by, smiling, just casually circulating the club looking for a potential customer, when a guy turns around, grabs my arm to stop me, looks me up and down, lets go of my arm, then looks at his friends and gives them a "yuck" face and they all start laughing. I stoop down, and ask "Is there a problem? Can I help you with anything" The asshole looks at me and goes, "Yeah, your the problem.. Ugghh you are sooo not for me"
    Ok so I am not your type. Why do this to me? It was a deliberate, cold hearted act.
    So I get called for a stage, go up, and a guy that's a semi-regular tips me, I take his tip and say a few words, then turn around and notice 4 1$ bills laying on the stage. I grab it up, go over to the guy who I assumed put it there, bat my eyes and say sweetly "Was this for me??" He says "Yeah, I tried to get your attention but oh well" in a pissed off tone. Now, I really hate just grabbing money off stage with out at least acknowledging the person who gave it to me. I really was just trying to be sweet. So I say "Oh I'm sorry" I go in to put my boobs in his face and say as I am leaning in "Lets just do this again" He pushes me back, goes "Hell no, fuck that. Why the fuck should I do that?" So I took his 4 dollars, threw it at him and said "Keep it then, asshole!"
    I swear every time I try to be genuinely sweet it turns around and backfires on me. I give my all, and people just shit on me. WHY???
    Maybe I am being too nice. I don't know. I don't understand why so many people say I look "mean" and "want to kick everyones ass" In addition to the guy tonight, I have had several other custies say the same thing.
    OK yeah. I have tatts. I have dark hair. But I am feminine, and I know I have sex appeal. Plus, there are girls I work with who put me to shame and make me look like Mother Theresa when it comes to tatts and all. I work with one girl who has full sleeves, black hair, piercings everywhere and wears nothing but black.
    Why me?!?!? I am a good hustler, I'm a nice person, I don't dance to death metal and spank people. I am not the "girl next door" but I am not some scary gothic biker vampiress dominatrix. For fuck sake I never wear black! My fav outfit is a schoolgirl with white stockings. And I'm always smiling.
    But yet, I am so scary.
    I think I maybe just need to take it as a sign that this isn't the business for me.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Wow, bad night. If this biz is for you i guess you would take it in stride.

    The guy is right about mass appeal, but some girls just don't want/need it. All it takes is one guy per night to fall in love with you, so those other guys can fuck off.

    The girls that i work with that have more unique looks like your seem to attract those customers that will do anything for them. The guys that are attracted to the girls with mass appeal maybe attracted to many, but thoe guys that want the unique looking girl with creative tats, well, they want her, and watch out. That has been my experience.

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I'm in the same boat.... My club's been attracting a lot of a loitering crowd, kids who come in with barely enough money for cover and a drink. Not even remotely intending to spend on the girls! And being DICKS in the process, tipping change, being rude, noisy, ARGH! And today one of them had the nerve to grab my dress and open it to see my chest when i tried to hustle him! i was too shocked to smack him or anything. I just jerked away and left. but SERIOUSLY.... is that shit free?

    I know its hard, but you cant let it get to you! If it DOES, it will kill your money because they SENSE it.

    Good luck either way, i know how much it hurts!

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Oh sweetie, how terrible to be treated like that!

    I was in this biz for almost 20 years before retirement and I've pretty much seen it all. Let me tell you, that you could have looked like Barbie (generic stripper type) and there will always be an asshole who thinks he should assuage his own low self esteem by taking you down.

    Trick is to keep that smile frozen on your face while uttering something completely dripping in sarcasm.

    "Actually, I'm not FOR anybody. There's no gift tag on my ass" followed by a toss of the head and strutting away with your head held high.

    How do the other girls that look like you do? Do they go through the same BS? It could be that this might not be the club for your type.

    But, chin up. For every asshole, there is someone out there that thinks you're the cat's meow.

    Hugs.

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    Senior Member Inna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    one of the things that makes me motivated to go to SC is fucking with these assholes, they are always there but if you back fire once they will shut up. If I were you I would totally tell that guy"yes I need a tan and get rid of my tattoos but too bad you are not my type.........virgin. pssst."

    Don't be too nice, be in control don't take anyone's shit.
    When it comes to buying dances most of them to it to talk you up to date you, fuck you or take ur phone # and stalk you to death. So make them feel you are out of their league(don’t eat out of their hands and take everything they say, just be polite and a little naughty) unless they buy a dance from you then you can open up a little and be nice.

    Send pic of ur self too :d

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I'm so sorry about the bad night, sweetie. Friday nights are usually the worst for me. All the cheap, young, loser-assholes come out that night. I try to avoid Fridays like the damn plague! Fuck those cocksuckers and keep your chin up.



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    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Honey, the simple reason they pick on you is BECAUSE THEY CAN. They can smell that you're vulnerable to it, by your face, body language, attitude. Maybe you're already scared of it happening when you walk into the club. Only when you become as jaded as the rest of us they'll give you a break. You need to learn not to care.

    I had my face full of piercings and a head full of dreadlocks when I started. I used to hear a LOT about it. I'm more main-stream friendly now, but these days I'm very tattooed instead. I do get the occasional douchebag who'll say something, but I just turn it back on them. "You're pretty but I don't like your tattoos." "Well, that's your problem, not mine."

    When I still had a bunch of piercings and got shit for it, like "I'd tip you but you're too full of metal" I used to say "That's OK, because losing a dollar from an ugly fat bloke like you means nothing when the handsome young metal fan over there gave me 20$."

    The reality is no matter what you look like you'll get crap for it anyway. Recently a guy complimented my stage performance and said I'm the best girl in the club, but that he won't tip me because I'm not blonde. Yea, WTF. I should go buy a blonde wig actually, but that's not the point. The point is, if they want to be douchebags they will. You've just got to find a way to deal with it. If you can't then yes, it's probably not for you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    WOW.....I can't believe that first guy you talked about .....WHAT A DICK. How dare he have the audacity to "suggest" shit to you. Suggest to him a lobotomy. Maybe then HE will be more attractive. And when he offers you a drink next, make sure you order the most expensive drink on the menu....or one of those complicated mixed drinks with all the top-shelf liquors. Douschebag.

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    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Guys make suggestions on what "everyone" likes all the time, based on their own likes and dislikes. And when you tell them that not EVERYONE agrees with them, and for example some men really LIKE dark hair, or tattoos, or big silicones, or A-cups, or pubic hair, they look at you like you're nuts for suggesting anyone could ever like whatever the thing in question is. Well, here's a thought, if the girl likes it it's very likely she'll find at least someone who agrees with her, too. Grr.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

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    Veteran Member beautiful.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Hmmmmm, somebody told me last night that I should probably go tan as well. I'm a natural redhead so I'm pretty pale, but fuck them, pale skin is hot! I just told the guy "I'm not stupid enough to go to a tanning salon and pay them money to give me skin cancer". (no offense to anybody that does go to tanning salons)
    Seriously, all it takes is one bad sunburn to get cancer and in my 4 years of dancing, that's the first time I've ever been told I should tan!

    Hang in there, love! Dont let a couple of assholes ruin it for you

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I'm sorry to hear you were treated this way. Nobody has a right to do this, in or out of a strip club. I'm sorry you went through it.

    I don't have any advice--just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and that such people are not worth your time at all. Hang in there.
    JK Jim

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I'm so sorry what assholes. Your club sounds like it may be a little rough. Is it? I mean friday nights are always filled with drunk losers who probably make it out once a year and don't know how to behave in public. But maybe another club even? I'm sorry though. Fuck them.
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  13. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    That sounds just like a Friday night. For some reason, Fridays bring all the roaches out of the woodwork.

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Hey sweetie, I'm sorry you had to deal with those pathetic losers. They get sick enjoyment from disrespecting beautiful women who would never give them a second glance OTC. Its really about them and not you. Any true gentlemen that was not interested would decline a dance and politely thank you for your time. Just fuck those dickheads and make your money girl!

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Just walk away. Like,"No, thanks for your concern though" when he asked about giving u 'suggestions'.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    That sounds just like a Friday night. For some reason, Fridays bring all the roaches out of the woodwork.
    so true! I can't stand the Friday crowd. They don't get out much, so they have to do as much damage as possible when they do.

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Man, I get the "get a tan" and "go blonde" crap here and there but I've (thankfully) never given in. Eff them with a cactus! Be you and be happy with it. Confidence = win.
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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Calendar Girl View Post
    Can I make some suggestions? First if all, you need a tan. You're way too pale. I myself, and most guys hate pale skin. You also need to get rid of that dark hair and lighten it up a bit, get a better haircut and get rid of those bangs. I would also look into having your tattoos removed or covered up. You lack mass appeal"
    Don't worry, you just ran into Advice Guy. He comes into every club once in a while and he has tons of suggestions for all of us, because he just happens to know what every guy in the world is looking for in a girl. He's amazing like that.

    I also learned from him that I should tan (no thanks, cancer) but that it wouldn't make much difference because guys don't like women as tall as I am.

    Sometimes Advice Guy will also helpfully point out to you which customers you should approach. (Somehow they always seem to be pointing you towards the guys you already KNOW are the club cheapskates and perverts.) I have a theory that these guys are frustrated wannabee strippers. If I'm in a naughty mood I suggest that they fill out an application at the front.

    Anyway, don't let it bug you. But yeah, if a lot of people are picking on you, it could be that you're sending out the vibe that you're a fun person to pick on. I think a lot of us do this when we're new, but it kind of wears off after a while. If you look happy and confident, people won't bother trying to bring you down. These guys are bullies and prey on the young and the weak.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I dont know what to say except

    Just remember that lots of those guys are assholes. I mean, who the fuck does that shit to a woman?

    Im sorry...

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Don't worry, you just ran into Advice Guy. He comes into every club once in a while and he has tons of suggestions for all of us, because he just happens to know what every guy in the world is looking for in a girl. He's amazing like that.

    I have a theory that these guys are frustrated wannabee strippers. If I'm in a naughty mood I suggest that they fill out an application at the front.
    Now why the hell didn't I figure that one out?! It never occured to me until you said it. Damn, a balding bloated middle age male wannabe. YIKES!

    Yeah and the others are indeed bullies that you should out! Tell them in front of their friends 'oh you're the type of guy who likes to attack women, right? You're really gay and you desperately need these men to like you more than any woman.' I've told many a man this in and out of the club after a misogynistic attack and it stuns, then shuts them the fuck up! Then I move on to selling again!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Senior Member hustlebunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter View Post
    Eff them with a cactus! Be you and be happy with it. Confidence = win.
    Ditto, "accidentally" spill your very expensive drink on him next time!
    "Whether YOU think you can or YOU think you can't you're right!" -Henry Ford

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    Veteran Member bluelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    assholes. they are in every club. we all get rejected and even the hottest girls get made fun of by guys behind their back or even to their face.
    I learned to develop a thick skin, we gotta have it in this biz. Try not 2 let it phase you!! stay positive and let that shit roll off your back. don't dwell or think about it. some guys are literally on a mission 2 be dicks in there, and some feel superior to us. also, a lot of guys come in the club in a bad mood too. I know how u felt when u threw those 4 bucks in his face. I just stay sweet and kill them with kindness and move on. i try to keep my composure and not let it fuck with my mood. so far it's worked for me.

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    This is my first post, and I hope I don't offend anyone. I hate to hear of someone internalising another person's bad intent.

    Mr. How You Should Be was trying to own you. You will learn to not pay attention to him and others like him, but the first lessons in this school can really hurt. There's no real reason for retribution (lashing back at him physically or verbally). He controls you if you do. As long as he hasn't physically touched you, he's simply laughable. No need to argue, throw a drink, or even feel anything except laughter at his misconception. Never argue with a fool; people might not know who's who.

    His words can't hurt you unless there's a target inside of you that believes in his words. Own your frame- in the world you live in, you're wonderful. If you don't know that from the bottom of your soul, find out the truth of that. Laugh! "OMG, you are so funny!" Then immediately leave his presence. You are further along the path than him.

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    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    Oh yes, it could very well also be Mr. Advise! If they're not wannabe strippers who think they could do our jobs better any day they're poor or cheapskates who wish they had money to spend on you, but since they don't they try to dish out "helpful advise" as their contribution. And yes, when they're being helpful and telling you how to please men they're only telling you how to please cheapskates like them. And they are not worth pleasing. So F that.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jo Weldon
    I believe lots of men have the flip side of the coin when it comes to the "white knight" fantasy. They'd LOVE to be a white knight. But they usually don't really have it in them.

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    Default Re: Just got home...and in tears (rant, long)

    I'm no stripper (yet), but I would go with guy friends to strip clubs and they would make rude comments such as these...saying "these strippers are ugly" or "these whores would do anything for a buck."

    Knowing these guy friends for several years, I can assure you that they're insecure and they have a hard time getting action. I knew they were only making those comments because they would NEVER get a chance with these girls.

    I'm guessing that guy who said that to you said it out of his own insecurities, and wanted to be sadistic because it probably made him feel good being mean. Next time you encounter someone like that, don't let them know that it hurt you because they take pleasure in that.


    People get mean comments in a non-stripping job as well. I had an old boss write me a nasty letter telling me that I disgust her and that I should work a mindless job at a factory because I have no people skills and personality. The job that I worked for her involved working with her disabled child.

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