Yep, another one of those nights where I left crying. I am seriously questioning rather this job is for me. I am leaning towards "no" at this point.
First it was a guy who says "Yeah, I've seen you in here before, but I've never gotten any dances from you, cause frankly, I'm scared of you. You look like some mean biker chick thats going to kick my ass or something. I can see your not having a good night. Can I make some suggestions? First if all, you need a tan. You're way too pale. I myself, and most guys hate pale skin. You also need to get rid of that dark hair and lighten it up a bit, get a better haircut and get rid of those bangs. I would also look into having your tattoos removed or covered up. You lack mass appeal"
Then he proceeds to offering me a drink, "You need a drink. Whatcha want?" As in I NEED a drink. Cause I am so hideous and am not making any money. Oh yeah and don't forget poor little me lacks "mass appeal"
About an hour later: walking by, smiling, just casually circulating the club looking for a potential customer, when a guy turns around, grabs my arm to stop me, looks me up and down, lets go of my arm, then looks at his friends and gives them a "yuck" face and they all start laughing. I stoop down, and ask "Is there a problem? Can I help you with anything" The asshole looks at me and goes, "Yeah, your the problem.. Ugghh you are sooo not for me"
Ok so I am not your type. Why do this to me? It was a deliberate, cold hearted act.
So I get called for a stage, go up, and a guy that's a semi-regular tips me, I take his tip and say a few words, then turn around and notice 4 1$ bills laying on the stage. I grab it up, go over to the guy who I assumed put it there, bat my eyes and say sweetly "Was this for me??" He says "Yeah, I tried to get your attention but oh well" in a pissed off tone. Now, I really hate just grabbing money off stage with out at least acknowledging the person who gave it to me. I really was just trying to be sweet. So I say "Oh I'm sorry" I go in to put my boobs in his face and say as I am leaning in "Lets just do this again" He pushes me back, goes "Hell no, fuck that. Why the fuck should I do that?" So I took his 4 dollars, threw it at him and said "Keep it then, asshole!"
I swear every time I try to be genuinely sweet it turns around and backfires on me. I give my all, and people just shit on me. WHY???
Maybe I am being too nice. I don't know. I don't understand why so many people say I look "mean" and "want to kick everyones ass" In addition to the guy tonight, I have had several other custies say the same thing.
OK yeah. I have tatts. I have dark hair. But I am feminine, and I know I have sex appeal. Plus, there are girls I work with who put me to shame and make me look like Mother Theresa when it comes to tatts and all. I work with one girl who has full sleeves, black hair, piercings everywhere and wears nothing but black.
Why me?!?!? I am a good hustler, I'm a nice person, I don't dance to death metal and spank people. I am not the "girl next door" but I am not some scary gothic biker vampiress dominatrix. For fuck sake I never wear black! My fav outfit is a schoolgirl with white stockings. And I'm always smiling.
But yet, I am so scary.
I think I maybe just need to take it as a sign that this isn't the business for me.



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what assholes. Your club sounds like it may be a little rough. Is it? I mean friday nights are always filled with drunk losers who probably make it out once a year and don't know how to behave in public. But maybe another club even? I'm sorry though. Fuck them.




Then I move on to selling again!
-Henry Ford
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