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Thread: Was I in the wrong?

  1. #1
    Senior Member blaze_n_hot's Avatar
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    Was I in the wrong?

    It was a slow night at work, and one of the other dancers had been sitting with a group of people (one single guy and a newlywed couple). While she was on the stage, I happened to walk by the group. The single guy waved me over, so I sat down and started my hustle. The female of the group poured me a drink, and tipped me while I entertained them (complimenting the couple, flirting with the other guy, etc).

    When the dancer that had originally been sitting with them returned, she sat behind the unattached guy. It was really obvious that she was left out (the group and I were sitting in a semi-circle facing the stage, and she was sitting behind the single guy. ) I had my hand on his knee while she was whispering in his ear, and he had to crane his neck to listen to her. I wound up leaving the group when I was called to the stage.

    At the end of the night, the other dancer told me that I had stepped on her toes, and she didn't think it was okay that I was still flirting with the guy while she was talking to him. She even said that the bouncer agreed, and that I was blocking her sale. Was I in the wrong? I thought that if the group invited me over, they were fair game. In fact, I was a little miffed that she was whispering in his ear while I was attempting to make a sale.

    What do y'all think? Was I in the wrong?
    "Some people say what I do isn't very liberating. I say it's pretty liberating to get $20,000 for 10 minutes of work." - Dita Von Teese

  2. #2
    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    They waved you over, so they wanted you there. Its not like you forced yourself on them. Also, when she came back they just let her sit behind him. If they had wanted her there, wouldn't they have made room? It sounds like they didnt want her anymore, but she was too dense or desperate to take the hint. I don't think you did anything wrong.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    ^^ Agreed.
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  4. #4
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    All is fair in love and war..... and hustling.

  5. #5
    Senior Member blaze_n_hot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I feel bad about it though. The other girl was mature enough to talk to me about it, and I kind brushed her off.
    "Some people say what I do isn't very liberating. I say it's pretty liberating to get $20,000 for 10 minutes of work." - Dita Von Teese

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    God/dess Zabrina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    It happens. You did nothing wrong. Her feelings are hurt because the table blew her off for you. Thats not your fault, its just part of a regular day in this business. It happens to everyone. If she can't handle it, its her problem.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member LadySoft's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by blaze_n_hot View Post
    It was a slow night at work, and one of the other dancers had been sitting with a group of people (one single guy and a newlywed couple). While she was on the stage, I happened to walk by the group. The single guy waved me over, so I sat down and started my hustle. The female of the group poured me a drink, and tipped me while I entertained them (complimenting the couple, flirting with the other guy, etc).

    When the dancer that had originally been sitting with them returned, she sat behind the unattached guy. It was really obvious that she was left out (the group and I were sitting in a semi-circle facing the stage, and she was sitting behind the single guy. ) I had my hand on his knee while she was whispering in his ear, and he had to crane his neck to listen to her. I wound up leaving the group when I was called to the stage.

    At the end of the night, the other dancer told me that I had stepped on her toes, and she didn't think it was okay that I was still flirting with the guy while she was talking to him. She even said that the bouncer agreed, and that I was blocking her sale. Was I in the wrong? I thought that if the group invited me over, they were fair game. In fact, I was a little miffed that she was whispering in his ear while I was attempting to make a sale.

    What do y'all think? Was I in the wrong?
    what if the other girl decides to build animosiy towards you because she thinks you stole her sale? seems liek thats where this is leading to. the way things are going isn't right...IMO its not your fault because the customer called you over and they chosed you instead. I would have left when she got back, knowing that those customers were hers to begin with..ok what if the roles were switched, what would you have thought and done?
    its only gonna build alot of animosity from her side, and she already has the bouncer on her side. i say try to settle things with her. talk to her and maybe apologze to her for what happened. you didn't mean to take her sale at the first place and if she wants you can help make it up to her. just keep it fair and avoid any animosity that may finally result...alot of chicks love drama and like to fight and blow little things out of proportion. and we're talking about money here. money issues can run really deep. if she can influence the bouncer, maybe she can influence awhole lot of girls. by the time you know it, you have a bunch of people hating you and rumors spreading around. you want to keep your job as well as work in an atmosphere thats loving and inviting, not one thats hostile.
    Last edited by LadySoft; 11-01-2007 at 08:47 AM.
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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    They asked you to come over, so you didn't really do anything wrong. Its not like you intentionally went to them.


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  9. #9
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zabrina View Post
    They waved you over, so they wanted you there. Its not like you forced yourself on them. Also, when she came back they just let her sit behind him. If they had wanted her there, wouldn't they have made room? It sounds like they didnt want her anymore, but she was too dense or desperate to take the hint. I don't think you did anything wrong.
    I agree.

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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I don't think you were in the wrong at all! She got up, they called you over and didn't really welcome her back. If that had happened to me, I would've been bummed but not mad at the other girl. That happens all the time at the club and customers can change their mind anytime they want. It gets back to the saying "Nobody owns a customer", a customer can pick who he/she wants to sit with, after all, it's their money on who they choose to spend it on. Don't worry about it.
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    Veteran Member Asurfael's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I don't think you were in the wrong... But it would've probably been polite to say something like "Oh I hope I'm not intruding, these guys invited me here while you were on stage... Is that OK?" If you make it obvious to her that you were invited and you didn't force yourself upon the table then there's really not much choice but to accept what happened and either move on, or stay in friendlier terms. In the cases that has happened to me I've often started selling for both of the girls, provided the other girl is into the situation too. It's pretty easy to sell either double VIP, or in case you're uncomfortable with it say something like "Well you can take her first and then me and compare," or whatever. But if the other girl is a bitch who'll undoubtedly say "No, just take me" or some other crap then I think it's fair game just trying to make your own sale.
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  12. #12
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I dont think you were wrong at all..they called you over so fair game like everyone else has said.

    I may have tried to pull her in a bit"hey...werent you sitting here..when they called me over you were on stage so I grabbed the chair but here..Ill pull anopther over for you" so that YOU were obviously not trying to leave her out. Then it would have been more obviousl that THEY were leaving her out..not you.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I agree, you were not in the wrong. They invited you, the customers spend the money, not the other dancers. Like some of the other posters have said, I may have acknowledged her when she got back to the table, something like "Hi sexy, welcome back, pull up a seat!" etc... I definiatly would not have asked her if she mineded me being there though. I am there, they invited me, end of story.

    And as far as creating animosity with the other dancer, or what would I have done if it had happened to me? Simple....go back to the table, plunk my butt down in a lap or a chair, announce that I was back and say hi to the other dancer in a flirty way so we could try to sell a double later on.

    In groups like that, three or more people, you work it. If another dancer comes along, play nice and friendly so it'll be easier to sell the entire group instead of concentrating on just one guy. It seems to me that'd be obvious though.




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    Featured Member hot4ablackchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    I don't think you were wrong at all either. I would have been a bit more welcoming of her and tried to get the group to include her if she was going to come over like a dufus and sit behind them. However, you were NOT obligated to do that, as the gorup called you over. I would not sit unless invited if another girl was there, even if I had been over there first unless it was a pretty good size group of guys. Since there was only 1 single guy she really should have left him alone. I've gone onstage and had other girls approach a custy I was sitting with beforehand, and they weren't even called over. Once you move, then a custy is fair game for all IMO. If a custy truly wants to wait for you then he'll say that to the others or he'll decline their dances. Too many strippers need to stop thinking they own the customers because they talked to them first for more than ten minutes. You did nothing wrong, but I would try to keep the peace and tell her I'm sorry if you think I was blocking but they asked me to sit. You don't want to make an enemy out of this pettiness.
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    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I in the wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by Zabrina View Post
    They waved you over, so they wanted you there. Its not like you forced yourself on them. Also, when she came back they just let her sit behind him. If they had wanted her there, wouldn't they have made room? It sounds like they didnt want her anymore, but she was too dense or desperate to take the hint. I don't think you did anything wrong.
    Well said, Zabrina.

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