The house mom at the bar I work at loves to tell this one story about me to the new girls that come to work. I feel silly when she does, not sure why, but I do. But I wanted to tell you all about because for me that story was an example of when I found my Stripper Balls.
I had only been dancing at this club for about a month and I hadn't learned how to secure my money very well. I had all my money held together with a rubber band. That's it. Yep.
Well one night I was dancing for a group of five guys. Four of them I would guess to be in their mid to late 40's and then one guy much younger. I started off dancing for the first guy, he was polite, non grabby and sweet. Danced for the second guy same thing, nice guy. Now while dancing for the first guy I had been holding my money in my hand, but that got awkward, so I sat it down on the table right next to me and kept an eye on it. When I moved on to the next guy I slid the money over to that sid of the table with me, but halfway through the song I looked over at the table and it was gone!
Yah yah, my fault, I know...but it was the end of the night and it was everything I had made that night! I was crushed! So I freak out and stop the dance and say to the guys "My money is gone, it was right here and now it's gone!" The guys all act concerned and start helping me look for it, then I say to them, "Okay, there was no waitress, and no one else walked by, so someone here has it, and no one is leaving until I search all of you. Now."
At this point the bouncer is over there with his flash light and everyone is standing up....we're creating a bit of a scene. So the guys say "You want to frisk us?! Be our guest! Please!!!" Big smiles and laughs.. so I did, I frisked four of the guys...no money...
Just then I notice the fifth (youngest guy) coming back from the bathroom. Uh oh. So I explain to him that my money is missing and that I'm going to have to search him before he goes. This was his response;
"FCK YOU, btch, I don't have your money, go ahead search me btch!"
Well, duh. Now I know he has it! So....I frisk him, all the way down his shorts to his socks. And as I'm sitting there, my head eye level with his crotch, I just know in my gut what he was doing in the bathroom. So I look up at him, the bouncer shining the big flashlight on us, everyone standing around watching the scene and I say "Okay big guy. Either you bust out the goods or I'm going in, I want my fckn money back."
He says "FCK YOU."
So, I shove my hand up his shorts and straight into his tighty whities and there's my money, rolled up sweetly next to his nuts. I grab, squeeze and yank....my money comes out but I'm pretty sure thee was damage done in the process.
The bouncers grab him up, and run him out and his buddies laugh and tease him all the way out the door.
Surprisingly, a week later, the older guys came back to apologize to me for the kid's behaviour. Then proceeded to buy $100 worth of dances from me.
So, that's the story of me and my stripper balls.
Anyone else?



, then I say to them, "Okay, there was no waitress, and no one else walked by, so someone here has it, and no one is leaving until I search all of you. Now."
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