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Thread: Stripper Balls.

  1. #1
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Stripper Balls.

    The house mom at the bar I work at loves to tell this one story about me to the new girls that come to work. I feel silly when she does, not sure why, but I do. But I wanted to tell you all about because for me that story was an example of when I found my Stripper Balls.

    I had only been dancing at this club for about a month and I hadn't learned how to secure my money very well. I had all my money held together with a rubber band. That's it. Yep.

    Well one night I was dancing for a group of five guys. Four of them I would guess to be in their mid to late 40's and then one guy much younger. I started off dancing for the first guy, he was polite, non grabby and sweet. Danced for the second guy same thing, nice guy. Now while dancing for the first guy I had been holding my money in my hand, but that got awkward, so I sat it down on the table right next to me and kept an eye on it. When I moved on to the next guy I slid the money over to that sid of the table with me, but halfway through the song I looked over at the table and it was gone!

    Yah yah, my fault, I know...but it was the end of the night and it was everything I had made that night! I was crushed! So I freak out and stop the dance and say to the guys "My money is gone, it was right here and now it's gone!" The guys all act concerned and start helping me look for it , then I say to them, "Okay, there was no waitress, and no one else walked by, so someone here has it, and no one is leaving until I search all of you. Now."
    At this point the bouncer is over there with his flash light and everyone is standing up....we're creating a bit of a scene. So the guys say "You want to frisk us?! Be our guest! Please!!!" Big smiles and laughs.. so I did, I frisked four of the guys...no money...
    Just then I notice the fifth (youngest guy) coming back from the bathroom. Uh oh. So I explain to him that my money is missing and that I'm going to have to search him before he goes. This was his response;
    "FCK YOU, btch, I don't have your money, go ahead search me btch!"

    Well, duh. Now I know he has it! So....I frisk him, all the way down his shorts to his socks. And as I'm sitting there, my head eye level with his crotch, I just know in my gut what he was doing in the bathroom. So I look up at him, the bouncer shining the big flashlight on us, everyone standing around watching the scene and I say "Okay big guy. Either you bust out the goods or I'm going in, I want my fckn money back."

    He says "FCK YOU."

    So, I shove my hand up his shorts and straight into his tighty whities and there's my money, rolled up sweetly next to his nuts. I grab, squeeze and yank....my money comes out but I'm pretty sure thee was damage done in the process.

    The bouncers grab him up, and run him out and his buddies laugh and tease him all the way out the door.

    Surprisingly, a week later, the older guys came back to apologize to me for the kid's behaviour. Then proceeded to buy $100 worth of dances from me.

    So, that's the story of me and my stripper balls.
    Anyone else?
    Last edited by ExoticEngineer; 11-01-2007 at 03:36 PM. Reason: typos




  2. #2
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    I love that story! Im glad you got your money back. I bet that guy has still not lived that down!

  3. #3
    cameron_keys
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Awesome!!!

    I have several...but one I find particularly funny is in Key West when I did a crapload of dances for a Mexican guy. It was the end of the night so he went to the ATM to get my money(yes I got paid)..as I'm getting dressed I notice my bikini top and my skirt are gone.
    So I walk out to the ATM(which is rightnext to the front door(bouncer was watching him get my money)and said "I want my clothes back. The bouncer looks at me in nothing but a thong and tells th guy to give my clothes back
    Now the guy is protesting he doesnt speak English. SO the bouncer repeats..in Spanish. He still says he doesnt have it. Bouncer reaches down the back of his jeans and hey..theres my top!
    Couldnt find the skirt.....so I'm fuming.


    Get dressed.me and my friends leave...still fuming. Across from the club theres a gas station....as I drive by I see teh guy and his friends getting into a cab. I screech into a u-turn and pull in. I know the cab driver so I yell at himto stop. Tell him what happened..now HE is pissed at these guys. Custie still protesting he doesnt know what I am talking about.


    So I pants him. Pants,undies...down around his ankles,shirt off in the middle of the gas station parking lot. While he is yelling "loco loco...."

    He ,must have shoved it up his ass,ditched it in the street or given it to a friend cause I never go tmy skirt back

    My fav skirt too. Fucker.

    So a running story between me and my friends was the night I pantsed a Mexican in the parking lot at 4am!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Noneya's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    The house mom at the bar I work at loves to tell this one story about me to the new girls that come to work. I feel silly when she does, not sure why, but I do. But I wanted to tell you all about because for me that story was an example of when I found my Stripper Balls.

    I had only been dancing at this club for about a month and I hadn't learned how to secure my money very well. I had all my money held together with a rubber band. That's it. Yep.

    Well one night I was dancing for a group of five guys. Four of them I would guess to be in their mid to late 40's and then one guy much younger. I started off dancing for the first guy, he was polite, non grabby and sweet. Danced for the second guy same thing, nice guy. Now while dancing for the first guy I had been holding my money in my hand, but that got awkward, so I sat it down on the table right next to me and kept an eye on it. When I moved on to the next guy I slid the money over to that sid of the table with me, but halfway through the song I looked over at the table and it was gone!

    Yah yah, my fault, I know...but it was the end of the night and it was everything I had made that night! I was crushed! So I freak out and stop the dance and say to the guys "My money is gone, it was right here and now it's gone!" The guys all act concerned and start helping me look for it , then I say to them, "Okay, there was no waitress, and no one else walked by, so someone here has it, and no one is leaving until I search all of you. Now."
    At this point the bouncer is over there with his flash light and everyone is standing up....we're creating a bit of a scene. So the guys say "You want to frisk us?! Be our guest! Please!!!" Big smiles and laughs.. so I did, I frisked four of the guys...no money...
    Just then I notice the fifth (youngest guy) coming back from the bathroom. Uh oh. So I explain to him that my money is missing and that I'm going to have to search him before he goes. This was his response;
    "FCK YOU, btch, I don't have your money, go ahead search me btch!"

    Well, duh. Now I know he has it! So....I frisk him, all the way down his shorts to his socks. And as I'm sitting there, my head eye level with his crotch, I just know in my gut what he was doing in the bathroom. So I look up at him, the bouncer shining the big flashlight on us, everyone standing around watching the scene and I say "Okay big guy. Either you bust out the goods or I'm going in, I want my fckn money back."

    He says "FCK YOU."

    So, I shove my hand up his shorts and straight into his tighty whities and there's my money, rolled up sweetly next to his nuts. I grab, squeeze and yank....my money comes out but I'm pretty sure thee was damage done in the process.

    The bouncers grab him up, and run him out and his buddies laugh and tease him all the way out the door.

    Surprisingly, a week later, the older guys came back to apologize to me for the kid's behaviour. Then proceeded to buy $100 worth of dances from me.

    So, that's the story of me and my stripper balls.
    Anyone else?
    That's awesome. What a fucking scumbag!!!

  5. #5
    Featured Member Cassandra39's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    I love that story! You're so ballsy I don't know if I would have done that but go you!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    What an ass that guy was! I'm glad you got you're money back!

  7. #7
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    haha I love you for that!


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Thanks so much for that story. It was the first thing I read when I woke up this morning and it was a great thing to wake up to.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Habinairo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    hat's why I'm gl;ad I have my bouncer

  10. #10
    Featured Member maximvsv's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    I love that story! Im glad you got your money back. I bet that guy has still not lived that down!
    I hope that guy hasn't lived that down. If that was someone I'd brought into the club, I certainly wouldn't let him forget that.
    ED E’ SUBITO SERA

    Ognuno sta solo sul cuor della terra
    trafitto da un raggio di sole:
    ed è subito sera

    --Salvatore Quasimodo--

    =============================

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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Awesome!!!

    I have several...but one I find particularly funny is in Key West when I did a crapload of dances for a Mexican guy. It was the end of the night so he went to the ATM to get my money(yes I got paid)..as I'm getting dressed I notice my bikini top and my skirt are gone.
    So I walk out to the ATM(which is rightnext to the front door(bouncer was watching him get my money)and said "I want my clothes back. The bouncer looks at me in nothing but a thong and tells th guy to give my clothes back
    Now the guy is protesting he doesnt speak English. SO the bouncer repeats..in Spanish. He still says he doesnt have it. Bouncer reaches down the back of his jeans and hey..theres my top!
    Couldnt find the skirt.....so I'm fuming.


    Get dressed.me and my friends leave...still fuming. Across from the club theres a gas station....as I drive by I see teh guy and his friends getting into a cab. I screech into a u-turn and pull in. I know the cab driver so I yell at himto stop. Tell him what happened..now HE is pissed at these guys. Custie still protesting he doesnt know what I am talking about.


    So I pants him. Pants,undies...down around his ankles,shirt off in the middle of the gas station parking lot. While he is yelling "loco loco...."

    He ,must have shoved it up his ass,ditched it in the street or given it to a friend cause I never go tmy skirt back

    My fav skirt too. Fucker.

    So a running story between me and my friends was the night I pantsed a Mexican in the parking lot at 4am!
    "loco, loco"! Sorry that cracked me up

  12. #12
    Veteran Member CollegeCutie21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    This may not be a stripper balls story, and I was sticking up for another girl at the time, but here goes:

    A couple of guys came in (we were still pretty slow, it was early) and they were sitting at the rail watching the stage but only tipping a very very small handful of girls. A fellow dancer points them out to me and tells me she had gone to high school with them. Apparently they were huge bullies and had made her high school pretty damn difficult. So I promptly went over to them.

    At first I was really sweet and kind of probing them about why they weren't tipping everyone. They explained that their money was only for the "hot" girls because "ugly bitches" don't deserve dollars. I stayed sweet and asked if they knew the other dancer. They said they did from high school.

    Then, still in my sweet voice I asked why they had been so mean to her. They just laughed. So, in my nicest voice i came back with "Well guys, none of the girls here are "ugly bitches" and we really can't stand when you are mean to us, so I'm going to tell you right now that your money is no good here. None of us are going to do anything for you. But you two have a great night okay!" And walked off.

    They got up and left. Not that mean but I felt really good. The other dancers thought it was funny anyway.






  13. #13
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Hahaha! Cam, I love it!




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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Thats inspiring in a humorous but motivational way.

    From someone who has just recently became more ballsy in life....i admire your story.

  15. #15
    miss marina
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    LMAOOOOO omg! What a Jerk. what was he thinking in the bathroom 'oh yeah...balls..thats where I will hide this strippers money I just stole hehehe god im badass'


    Boy dont you know when our money goes missing we check EVERYWHERE!!

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    Good for you! Putting those lame dudes in their place =o)

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Stripper Balls.

    i like this thread!

    Love it!

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