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Thread: Grown women and girls

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Grown women and girls

    A friend sent this to me today, thought it was worth sharing.

    Grown Women vs Girls
    Girls want to control the man in their life.

    Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

    Girls check you for not calling them.

    Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

    Girls are afraid to be alone.

    Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

    Girls ignore the good guys.

    Grown women ignore the bad guys.

    Girls make you come home.

    Grown women make you want to come home.

    Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.

    Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

    Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

    Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

    Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).

    Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

    Girls think a guy crying is weak.

    Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

    Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.

    Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

    Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.

    Grown women know that was just one man.

    Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.

    Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

    Girls will read this and get an attitude.

    Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women.




  2. #2
    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Great list. Several of those items can be easily transformed into boy vs man versions as well.

  3. #3
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Oh....my....gosh.


    I think I'm turning into a real live woman.

    Go, me!

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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    ^^^ +1. I think this list is great, and can be applied to both genders and to more relationship styles than just man-woman.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    hmmm... tempting to post on myspace




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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Thanks, EE!

    I will be e-mailing a copy of this to the "Girls" and "Grown Women" in my life. I would guess with confidence that you yourself are a "Grown Woman"...

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    I have recieve this one before, I think it is wonderful!
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Embyr View Post
    ^^^ +1. I think this list is great, and can be applied to both genders and to more relationship styles than just man-woman.
    Really? That's interesting. I'm not sure it can. I mean, isn't it just a way of setting up "this is a stereotype of what is wrong with women, and good women don't act like this"? Except it is attaching a kind of age issue to it? I mean is this really any more insightful than that email about how cats are like women and dogs are like men?

    You can see that I was never a fan of the interoffice joke/inspirational email.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Intersting point of veiw. I didn't see it as a negative thing at all. Sure if one were to analyze and pick it apart and determine that this message is designed to say that older women are better, younger women are bad, here's why; then that's what one would see.

    But me personally, I took the message to say that being confidant, happy with yourself and your choices is a good thing, and most definiatly a sign of maturing.

    I guess it boils down to how the person wants to recieve it.




  10. #10
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Dude. I analyze and pick apart things by nature. It's how I understand the world. Although upside, when I used to work in an office I wouldn't really get these, because I would inevitably send them back all deconstructed and shit. People stop sending them when you do that.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    I predict the girls from that list will probably end up happier than the "grown women". The behaviors are better for getting better men.

    It's framed in a "younger person" versus "older person" but the grown women traits aren't really the traits of older people, just people of different mentalities.

    Take this one:
    Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.

    Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.
    Typically, younger girls think they are hot enough(usually correct) but start to worry about their looks as they age. This is especially true if they were very hot and got power from it, but now realize they don't get the same preferential treatment.

    These kind of emails end up in my inbox often. I'm also subscribed to several "for women" dating newsletters. Gotta keep my eye on the enemy.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  12. #12
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    I predict the girls from that list will probably end up happier than the "grown women". The behaviors are better for getting better men.

    Hahahahahah yeah right!

    Dude! I have a great man and I didn't fucking chase him around and arrange my life around him.

    That's ridiculous.

    The "girl's" behavior on that list is all insecurity, anger, resentment and immaturity.

    Are you the "better kind of man" these girls will get?

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Dude. I analyze and pick apart things by nature. It's how I understand the world. Although upside, when I used to work in an office I wouldn't really get these, because I would inevitably send them back all deconstructed and shit. People stop sending them when you do that.
    I know it, and it's probably one of my favorite things about you.




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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Really? That's interesting. I'm not sure it can. I mean, isn't it just a way of setting up "this is a stereotype of what is wrong with women, and good women don't act like this"? Except it is attaching a kind of age issue to it? I mean is this really any more insightful than that email about how cats are like women and dogs are like men?

    You can see that I was never a fan of the interoffice joke/inspirational email.
    alright, let me rephrase, then. I like the list as a SMALL PART of a good list. (other parts would include things like "girls need their men to have a meaningful orgasm. Women know that "men" and "orgasms" are nowhere near mutually exclusive.") I don't think it's stereotyping, or demeaning, or putting women in their place, or anything like that. You and I share many of the same views, and though this list is nowhere NEAR the be-all and end-all of what separates girls from women (and yes, it IS kind of strange that there seems to be a socially necessary separation... it kind of discourages the whole 'growth' and 'maturing' bit), I found a few things on here to be at least a bit insightful. I didn't think it implied any moralistic standpoint, either.

    ... and I'm not a fan of office spam, either. I'm constantly reminding my mother to stop forwarding them to me.

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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Funny thing is, yah, it's totally office spam. She send me probably eight to ten e-mails a DAY, some funny, some cute, some a waste of eye usage.

    I just happened to like the idea behind this one and wanted to share it. You're lucky, it could have been the "Why you're so special" one. I almost gagged.




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    Newbie Jayleigh_Trash's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by pookie View Post
    hmmm... tempting to post on myspace
    Haha I thought the same exact thing after reading that!

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Embyr View Post
    I don't think it's stereotyping, or demeaning, or putting women in their place, or anything like that.
    Well, I think there are several step before you get to "demeaning". But, whether you find it demeaning or not - is there really a way to read that list besides as a list of stereotypes? I mean, you may think it's nice or sweet or accurate or empowering (or some combination), but I can't see how it is doing anything but engaging with stereotypes. I mean "Girls do..." and "women do..." - that's the definition of stereotyping. It is the stereotype of stereotype, as it were.

    ... and I'm not a fan of office spam, either. I'm constantly reminding my mother to stop forwarding them to me.
    Oh, send them back, criticized and deconstructed line by line. If she doesn't stop sending them, call and tell her that you are really interested in further discussing the issue she emailed you about. That'll work.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    ^^^ hahah except that they're all "a rabbi and a priest" jokes.... and she's a lovely jewish mother from the bronx. i just couldn't. and some ARE really funny, especially on her "naughty" days.

    i see the stereotyping you mean... i'm absolutely exhausted, and for some reason couldn't see the forest for the trees... i was busy looking for other smaller categories within the "girl/woman" thing that might constitute stereotypes. umm..... durrrrrr... yeah, you're right.... and we all know (i'm sure) many "grown women" who, though mostly collected, mature, and confident, occasionally lapse into ... being human? and obviously, that doesn't make them 'girls' all of a sudden.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    I'm drunk. Also out of town for a few days. When you add up the two what does it mean??? Uncensored truth...

    Steve Pinker argues, and I believe correctly, that stereotyping is just a unpopular word for our innnate ability to see patterns of social behavior, and categorize it. Therefore "stereotypes" are created by people based on elements of truth. While it is wildly popular to dismiss information on the grounds that it is a stereotype, that does not necessarily mean there is no truth in the stereotype. Quite the opposite, more often then not, there is.

    Second, few of us look back on our past and think we were wiser then. Therefore it's completely what???? outside of the realm of our everyday experience to simply dis-credit experience. And experience and age are often coorelated because experience requires time, and age means we are more likely to have had that time. Much of the OPs post was about experience vs youth, and few of us really believe we were wiser at a younger age (even if that leaves the younger amongst us feeling uncomfortable, but trust me, they often see their juniors in precisely the same light).

    I am however watchful though.... I await with baited breath for the next post stereotyping males, and await to see if stereotyping really gets anyone up in arms.

    See I have observed. Stereotyping is a big old red-herring. Really nobody cares because they kind of think there may be something to it, UNLESS... they are the object of the pattern.. and the pattern observed is not entirely positive, and then... stereotyping is disturbing.

    I will watch closely here, and on the blue side... to see the reactions to future "stereotyping" posts, and I definitely will learn a lot if people react, or if they don't. Either way, I will learn something for sure.

  20. #20
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I'm drunk. Also out of town for a few days. When you add up the two what does it mean??? Uncensored truth...

    Steve Pinker argues, and I believe correctly, that stereotyping is just a unpopular word for our innnate ability to see patterns of social behavior, and categorize it. Therefore "stereotypes" are created by people based on elements of truth. While it is wildly popular to dismiss information on the grounds that it is a stereotype, that does not necessarily mean there is no truth in the stereotype. Quite the opposite, more often then not, there is.

    Second, few of us look back on our past and think we were wiser then. Therefore it's completely what???? outside of the realm of our everyday experience to simply dis-credit experience. And experience and age are often coorelated because experience requires time, and age means we are more likely to have had that time. Much of the OPs post was about experience vs youth, and few of us really believe we were wiser at a younger age (even if that leaves the younger amongst us feeling uncomfortable, but trust me, they often see their juniors in precisely the same light).

    I am however watchful though.... I await with baited breath for the next post stereotyping males, and await to see if stereotyping really gets anyone up in arms.

    See I have observed. Stereotyping is a big old red-herring. Really nobody cares because they kind of think there may be something to it, UNLESS... they are the object of the pattern.. and the pattern observed is not entirely positive, and then... stereotyping is disturbing.

    I will watch closely here, and on the blue side... to see the reactions to future "stereotyping" posts, and I definitely will learn a lot if people react, or if they don't. Either way, I will learn something for sure.
    Ahhh jeez xdamage now you tell me you read Pinker??? Loving you.

    And yeah, there's a reason for stereotypes and cliches. They didn't get that way by being completely untrue. Stereotyping is a way to simplify our worlds.

  21. #21
    ruru123
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    love it....thanks for posting!

  22. #22
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Quote Originally Posted by zxcire View Post
    And yeah, there's a reason for stereotypes and cliches. They didn't get that way by being completely untrue. Stereotyping is a way to simplify our worlds.
    Well, stereotyping certainly does simplify the world - the question is whether it simplifies it in a good/valid/morally neutral way. I don't think many people argue that stereotyping is not "simplifying." And yes, there is frequently a reason for stereotypes - but it is isn't always because they are "true"
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Well, stereotyping certainly does simplify the world - the question is whether it simplifies it in a good/valid/morally neutral way. I don't think many people argue that stereotyping is not "simplifying." And yes, there is frequently a reason for stereotypes - but it is isn't always because they are "true"
    Interesting. Valid way? Occasionally... but we must also take into account the times when our own confirmation biases turn stereotypes into self-fulfilling prophecies.
    Morally neutral? I don't think stereotypes are ever morally neutral. They are broad classifications, "oversimplifications," if you will, wrapped up in our own cultural and societal biases.

    Case in point... Am I more likely to avoid an accident on the road if I consciously ride only in lanes without asian drivers, older hispanic women, or younger girls on cell phones? These groups are all stereotypes. However, every time I've almost been hit... I don't look for faces/races/ethnicities, I look for erratic, unpredictable driving, people failing to use turn signals, drifting into other lanes, dents in cars, and appearing distracted. Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy, or is it just California? After 6 months of trying to ride with a "blank slate" philosophy do I subconsciously start to look at other things? Of course, I know some latina girls I work with who are terrific drivers. The mostly asian guys I ride with- same thing. I know some horrible drivers, too, who don't fit the stereotype... a few of my friends whose cars have been named "boxes of death..." and my dear mother, who likes to cross over the median.

    so.... i think stereotyping as good/moral is only a workable argument if we can prove stereotyping to be USEFUL. Sometimes it is... often it is not.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    That was cool to read. Thanks for sharing!
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Grown women and girls

    Stereotyping is decision making on cruise control
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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