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Thread: Derogatory words towards women

  1. #26
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    omg. sh0t, those vids. funny.

    as for the OP Q... well, i guess nothign phases me too much anymore.

    this Q reminds me of a Q a friend asked on facebook, and im going to copy and paste here. Maybe ya'll will see this correlation too. (if not, ignore me)

    xxxxxx johnson asks:
    What's wrong with society today?

    xxxxx reyes: Yo son what you mean Bitch come on son son son son I walk wit gats and shit and will shoot any mofo up in my hood yeah son yeah.... Thats what is wrong with society no education: ignorance, and bravado rules the streets these days and its sad very sad.

    the great xxxxx: Our society is desensitized, ignorant, divided, and too comfortable with they way things are.

    beth xxxxx: People don't think about how their actions affect other people. You could go a little deeper, but I think that's the gist of it.

    me: We're a selfish nation. No one considers anyone but themselves, especially in their actions as Beth said. Education system is a joke and parents aren't helping either. In short we have no real leaders for kids to follow or rather, not enough.
    maybe im a little off my rocker tonight, but i believe that the lack of understanding as to how the words mentioned above are rude or ignorant goes back to the people teaching those words, or not teaching the avoidance of them, i.e. parental figures, leaders, teachers, etc.

    while the words bitch, cunt, etc. dont bother me per se, i totally agree that they are offensive, but i think that idea of "offensive terminology" is lost in today's world. is it just me?

    Love it!

  2. #27
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    Eh, guys like that will stop saying it when it stops working.
    When it stops working for what, lestat?

    Lena - I agree. It is so beyond offensive that it's farcical.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  3. #28
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    It works more for men than anything from women. Calling women a bitch to their face doesn't do any good, typically.

    But if a guy constantly reinforces the word bitch=female in his head, he will have that light air of degrading women, which is beneficial. I believe that the rap music of the early 90s really prevented me from becoming a pussified male because of the constant reinforce never to "love dem hoes", etc.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  4. #29
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I don't care about "She's a fucking bitch!" or something along those lines. BUT

    "Those are some hot bitches." "She's wild, such a nasty fucking slut." Any term making women less than human and more of an object or commodity. I have a huge problem with that. Excessive use of such words makes me irate.

    However, most of these rules are null and void in rough (consensual) sex. lol

  5. #30
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I guess i do have one.

    When a guy meets me and does not know me well enough and calls me BABE!

    I really think that is far too personal.

  6. #31
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    When it stops working for what, lestat?

    Lena - I agree. It is so beyond offensive that it's farcical.
    I think there's a certain image that men try to craft with that sort of language. Whether it's "bad boy," "urban gangsta," or just the appearance of confidence through indifference, there is an image projected that some (and I stress only some) women will find appealing. I suspect it backfires more than it works, but works often enough for some guys to keep doing it.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  7. #32
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I just think it's an interesting perspective - like you are trying to absolve the use of this language from any culpability on the basis of efficiency, or that, somehow, it's the fault of the target
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  8. #33
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Efficient? I said I suspect it backfires more than it works.

    There are a lot of things a person can say or do in life that will "work" in getting towards some goal, that doesn't make them automatically appropriate. I thought I could acknowledge utility without granting approval of its use or assigning fault to its existence. Oh well.

    In this case even if it works occasionally, it still takes someone enough of a jackass to use the tactic.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  9. #34
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    Efficient? I said I suspect it backfires more than it works.
    Yeah, I thought that was a bit of an inconsistency too.

    There are a lot of things a person can say or do in life that will "work" in getting towards some goal, that doesn't make them automatically appropriate. I thought I could acknowledge utility without granting approval of its use or assigning fault to its existence. Oh well.

    In this case even if it works occasionally, it still takes someone enough of a jackass to use the tactic.
    Okay... well, then I don't understand how this fits in with the comment "men will stop using these terms when they stop working". Maybe you were being satirical, and I didn't pick up?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  10. #35
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    I don't care about "She's a fucking bitch!" or something along those lines. BUT
    Agreed...

    "Those are some hot bitches." "She's wild, such a nasty fucking slut." Any term making women less than human and more of an object or commodity. I have a huge problem with that. Excessive use of such words makes me irate.
    Agreed...

    However, most of these rules are null and void in rough (consensual) sex. lol
    ... and agreed!

  11. #36
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Yeah, I thought that was a bit of an inconsistency too.

    Okay... well, then I don't understand how this fits in with the comment "men will stop using these terms when they stop working". Maybe you were being satirical, and I didn't pick up?
    If I rephrase it like this: "The group of men who use derogatory terms towards women in order to find and hook up with the small group of women who respond favorably to the image presented by said use will stop using those derogatory terms when they no longer get what they're seeking by its use, " is it clearer? It seems verbose to me. I like my pithy phrasing better.

    I'm characterizing this small group of women as enablers, or suppliers, if you will. Any woman victimized by the use of this tactic is not responding favorably to the image presented, and so is not an enabler or supplier promoting its use. I don't think the victims can be blamed, they (female victims, female enablers) are mutually-exclusive groups.

    What prompted me to make my original post was that there seemed to me to be a theme in this thread of "why do certain men use derogatory terminology against women?" It seemed obvious to me - because sometimes it works and gets them what they want.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  12. #37
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    ^^^ Or if not so specifically that the words themselves get the women, that small group of women allow themselves to be gotten despite the use of the words.

    Maybe it's the money or the fame or the bad-boy image that attracts, but it's not the words.

  13. #38
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    ^^^ Yup, the image. When I've seen it done and met with favorable response it's: "Oh you're so bad!" followed by a mock slap and a smiley giggle.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  14. #39
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    ^^^ Yup, the image. When I've seen it done and met with favorable response it's: "Oh you're so bad!" followed by a mock slap and a smiley giggle.
    Seriously! It's just like extras in clubs. If every woman just sucked it up and didn't respond favorably, the problem would probably eventually diminish.
    (Not sexism, but the use of these particular derogatory remarks at least in the presence of females)

  15. #40
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    If I rephrase it like this: "The group of men who use derogatory terms towards women in order to find and hook up with the small group of women who respond favorably to the image presented by said use will stop using those derogatory terms when they no longer get what they're seeking by its use, " is it clearer? It seems verbose to me. I like my pithy phrasing better.
    No. A) I don't think those things mean the same thing and B) it still implies that men are acting a certain way because "women want them to" which is not really consistent with the rest of your position. If, as you say, they would have more success with women by adopting a different attitude I would suggest that they are likely not doing to GET women but rather getting women who are willing to accept it - that is they are accepting women who accept this behaviour, not behaving this way to get women. That is, even you seem to think that they are behaving this way in spite of actively repelling the vast majority of women - so the analysis of rewards doesn't seem to hold up.

    What prompted me to make my original post was that there seemed to me to be a theme in this thread of "why do certain men use derogatory terminology against women?" It seemed obvious to me - because sometimes it works and gets them what they want.
    But that doesn't really make sense unless you are assuming that they don't realize that most of the time they are repulsive to most women; if that is the case, the more accurate phrase would be that they'll stop once they figure out that it is not the best way to get women, not once women stop enabling them. Hey - these are two very distinct ideas.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  16. #41
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Calling women a bitch doesn't attract women because they hear the word, it helps because it changes the behavior patterns of the guy who says it.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten
    Seriously! It's just like extras in clubs. If every woman just sucked it up and didn't respond favorably, the problem would probably eventually diminish.
    I'm trying to start a movement where men stop tricking. I think it will work to help women act less crazy
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  17. #42
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda View Post
    I don't see how those two examples are similar enough to be placed before and after the customary comma in an analogy.

    Let's try it class:

    Woman is to Bitch, as Black person is to Nigger. Umm, no.

    The comparability/relationship of the factors to themselves, on either side of the equation, differs so much from the relationship on the other side, that they are incomparable. Thus your example is analogically unsound.

    IMO, the only thing they have both have in common, is "appropriateness".

    With regard to Vyanka's example (and to answer the original question), some people don't know when it is appropriate for them to use certain words.

    For your example, certain people refuse to accept that it is never appropriate for them to use either.

    I'm offended by the ignorance of both.
    I think you lost the point of what I was saying. I'm not saying they have the same meaning, but I am using the transition from negative to positive meaning of the word "nigger" in order to explain why I find terms that are derogatory to women ultimately very positive. Because I have taken away their negative power.

    Quote Originally Posted by JustJayda View Post
    Agreed, also "Bitch" is more inclusive. A bitch is a coward, in addition to the more "traditional"(if you will) definition/s. I grew up calling men bitches, and pussies. It is the worst thing you can call a man.

    So in the "rules" of cursing, (lol) anybody can be a bitch, any race, color, or gender.

    Not everyone can be called a Nigger.
    Calling a White person one, is like when your religious great-grandmother once shouted "What the Damn"?

    That's why they can't really be compared....unless you're a Nincom-Phucking-Poop!
    And yes, anybody can be called anything. I know lots of white niggers. Then again, my definition of the word "nigger" may be different to you as it is to me. Just like your God may be completely different from mine.

    As you can see it's a matter of personal perspective.

  18. #43
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    No. A) I don't think those things mean the same thing and B) it still implies that men are acting a certain way because "women want them to" which is not really consistent with the rest of your position. If, as you say, they would have more success with women by adopting a different attitude I would suggest that they are likely not doing to GET women but rather getting women who are willing to accept it - that is they are accepting women who accept this behaviour, not behaving this way to get women. That is, even you seem to think that they are behaving this way in spite of actively repelling the vast majority of women - so the analysis of rewards doesn't seem to hold up.


    But that doesn't really make sense unless you are assuming that they don't realize that most of the time they are repulsive to most women; if that is the case, the more accurate phrase would be that they'll stop once they figure out that it is not the best way to get women, not once women stop enabling them. Hey - these are two very distinct ideas.
    Some women respond favorably to the approach, yes. Not all, some. I thought I was really clear on that distinction.

    I think you're giving the group of guys who use that tactic way too much credit. It works for them, sometimes. That's good enough. Remember we're taling about Joe-Schmo-Asshole here, not Super-Hot-Girl. A 1-200 shot at sex may be laughable to SHG, but JSA is saying to himself "awesome, I have a chance!" JSAs might not be able to use other approaches. They might not know how. They might not be aware. They might be aware and know how, but still suck at it. It works for them, sometimes. That's powerful. Abandon an approach that pisses off most women but nonetheless has proven to get them laid from time to time in favor of one that will be far more agreeable to the female population and they *think* will work, if they can figure out how? I think that's a tough sell for the group in question. Not to mention all the bravado among their group of buddies who think they're being so damn cool with that sort of behavior.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    If you want good results, you have to specialize anyway. Making yourself generically likable to "most chicks" is a waste of time.

    Better to specialize in the kind you want and alienate the rest.

    I can't get laid by ugly girls to save my life. But I don't mind that.
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  20. #45
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    Some women respond favorably to the approach, yes. Not all, some. I thought I was really clear on that distinction.
    You were. You said that these women were in a very small minority and that these guys would probably have more success if they abandoned this particular tactic. Didn't you?

    So, if guys are using a measured cost-benefit analysis, it would come out in favour of not behaving this way, right? So I would suggest that they are behaving this way because they want to, for reasons apart from women, and just get the women that put up with it.

    Conversely if, as you suggest above, they are just mistaken - like they mistakenly believe this is "what women like" then the problem is not with women (as you suggested in your posting "they'll stop acting like this when women stop reacting positively to it") but with their understanding and ability.

    Not to mention all the bravado among their group of buddies who think they're being so damn cool with that sort of behavior.
    Okay. So guys might have motivation for behaving this way other than "women like it"? It might, in fact, be because MEN like it?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  21. #46
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    You would be right. men do a lot of self-destructive things re: women because men like it.

    Some men are the other extreme, playing double-dutch with the girls while we are playing football in the street.

    You can do both and be a man's man and get more as than a toilet seat.

    Get the power up. Win the game.
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  22. #47
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Sh0t, what is with you today? Are you just desperate for my attention, or what?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  23. #48
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    When I said that this tactic probably backfires more than it works, that was not to suggest that they should abandon the approach. Yes, there are approaches that work better. I think being incredibly attractive, rich, confident, or famous would all work better than derogatory terminology. But if the derogatory terminology approach is the only one that works for them or that they know how to, or are capable of employing, then I can't imagine them ever abandoning it until it stops working for them. i.e. "men will stop saying it when it stops working for them."

    Yes, some men have motivation for acting that way in addition to the women it gets them. I'm not inclined to think that absent the women, they'd still act that way, but then my friends and I all know we're losers and say so. So I have a tough time putting myself in the manly-bravado-machismo mindset of "lets call everyone a bitch-ho and grab a 40."

    Do you think (or have seen, or know of) men who act like that just because? Like, they don't get women out of that behavior but they just like being that way? I've met guys who act like that, but they all got lots of women.
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

  24. #49
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Eh?

    I'm just responding to posts, not really anybody in particular.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  25. #50
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Dare I say it? He's taking shots at people?
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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