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Thread: Derogatory words towards women

  1. #51
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    When I said that this tactic probably backfires more than it works, that was not to suggest that they should abandon the approach. Yes, there are approaches that work better. I think being incredibly attractive, rich, confident, or famous would all work better than derogatory terminology.
    Well, those aren't really approaches. Those are characteristics.

    But if the derogatory terminology approach is the only one that works for them or that they know how to, or are capable of employing, then I can't imagine them ever abandoning it until it stops working for them. i.e. "men will stop saying it when it stops working for them."
    But you also said that you thought they would enjoy more success if they did abandon it. Like if it backfires more than it works, if it is inefficient, etc. So - it may "work" in the sense that anything will "work" if you do it often enough - but that doesn't mean that it is anything but an inefficient, ineffective approach. And if they were looking for something to "work" then they would likely look for the most effective, most efficient thing. And so THIS approach is probably based on the fact that they just like it and are willing to accept the lower returns, or don't realize that they are getting lower returns. And again - if the problem is with their judgment, then it is with their judgment - not with women.

    Yes, some men have motivation for acting that way in addition to the women it gets them. I'm not inclined to think that absent the women, they'd still act that way, but then my friends and I all know we're losers and say so. So I have a tough time putting myself in the manly-bravado-machismo mindset of "lets call everyone a bitch-ho and grab a 40."

    Do you think (or have seen, or know of) men who act like that just because? Like, they don't get women out of that behavior but they just like being that way? I've met guys who act like that, but they all got lots of women.
    Now this is skating dangerously close to the "It's sad being a nice guy like me because girls like assholes who call them names" line. You just said that there was bravado, encouragement and male validation for for acting like that.

    In answer to your question - I think pretty much all the guys who act like that "just cuz". I don't think it has anything to do with getting women. I actually agree that they likely get fewer women than they would otherwise, and are absolutely willing to take that tradeoff.
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  2. #52
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    It's nothing new. It's just that the words commonly used today are more offensive. A natural migration towards outrageousness right along with many other things in our society. Todays gangstas were yesteryears hoods. Same objective just a relative milder approach. Well, relative now looking back. At the time considering the social norms they may have been equally bad. And there were women then who liked the bad boy attitude shit just like there are women today who like it.

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  3. #53
    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Well, those aren't really approaches. Those are characteristics.

    But you also said that you thought they would enjoy more success if they did abandon it. Like if it backfires more than it works, if it is inefficient, etc. So - it may "work" in the sense that anything will "work" if you do it often enough - but that doesn't mean that it is anything but an inefficient, ineffective approach. And if they were looking for something to "work" then they would likely look for the most effective, most efficient thing. And so THIS approach is probably based on the fact that they just like it and are willing to accept the lower returns, or don't realize that they are getting lower returns. And again - if the problem is with their judgment, then it is with their judgment - not with women.
    I looked back at what I wrote, and I don't think I ever said they'd enjoy more success if they abandoned their approach. It's ineffective in the sense that it appeals to a small group of women, but it still works from time to time, for them. Others have success with other approaches or characteristics. This approach is creating a characteristic of the "bad boy" image, which is why I used the two terms so interchangeably.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Now this is skating dangerously close to the "It's sad being a nice guy like me because girls like assholes who call them names" line. You just said that there was bravado, encouragement and male validation for for acting like that.
    Nah, only some girls like that, and I don't think those are the type that I'd get along well with. I've met my girlfriends either through friends or through online dating. Those are the approaches that have worked for me, so I'll stick with them until I find something else that works better and that I'm capable of doing.

    For some guys, yes, there is male vindication in acting like that much of a jackass. I don't really get it from that standpoint, but I undestand them pursuing that behavior if it's what "works" for them.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    In answer to your question - I think pretty much all the guys who act like that "just cuz". I don't think it has anything to do with getting women. I actually agree that they likely get fewer women than they would otherwise, and are absolutely willing to take that tradeoff.
    I don't get it if that's the case. I understand the tactic if it works for them, but just for shits 'n giggles and all that male bravado crap? It doesn't make sense from a cost/benefit analysis standpoint.
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  4. #54
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post
    I looked back at what I wrote, and I don't think I ever said they'd enjoy more success if they abandoned their approach. It's ineffective in the sense that it appeals to a small group of women, but it still works from time to time, for them.
    I don't understand how this works. If it backfires more often than it works, how could they not enjoy more success abandoning it? I mean, that is the definition of a bad system - one that actively damages your cause [i.e. "backfires"] more often than it positively affects your cause [i.e. "works"].

    For some guys, yes, there is male vindication in acting like that much of a jackass. I don't really get it from that standpoint, but I undestand them pursuing that behavior if it's what "works" for them.
    Okay - so you're insisting that guys act like this to get girls, because that is the only reason you understand for guys acting like that? So although you would never act like that to get a girl, you insist that it must be working for someone else because why else would they do it.

    I don't get it if that's the case. I understand the tactic if it works for them, but just for shits 'n giggles and all that male bravado crap? It doesn't make sense from a cost/benefit analysis standpoint.
    That's only if you're assuming that the cost/benefit is in relation to getting girls and not gaining the admiration of the male friends that you see encouraging it. I mean - you must see that is circular. They must be doing it to get girls, because why would they be doing it for anything else, because anything else might not help them get girls. But whatever. I think I've made my point. If you insist on displacing responsibility for male action onto women, I can't really stop you with mere logic, I guess.
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I don't like it or do it. I was told when I was a kid, people doing that just have a low vocabulary. I too think I'm old fassion. They think it makes them look tuff but it only makes them look small

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I could care less honestly. To me it just seems like a grown-up version of calling your classmates fart-face.

    More impressive words, older name callers, same level of maturity...



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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    I don't understand how this works. If it backfires more often than it works, how could they not enjoy more success abandoning it? I mean, that is the definition of a bad system - one that actively damages your cause [i.e. "backfires"] more often than it positively affects your cause [i.e. "works"].


    Okay - so you're insisting that guys act like this to get girls, because that is the only reason you understand for guys acting like that? So although you would never act like that to get a girl, you insist that it must be working for someone else because why else would they do it.


    That's only if you're assuming that the cost/benefit is in relation to getting girls and not gaining the admiration of the male friends that you see encouraging it. I mean - you must see that is circular. They must be doing it to get girls, because why would they be doing it for anything else, because anything else might not help them get girls. But whatever. I think I've made my point. If you insist on displacing responsibility for male action onto women, I can't really stop you with mere logic, I guess.
    Because 1% is higher than 0%. Because abandoning a shitty approach does not automatically yield one improved results. At the end of the day, no matter how low the success rate may be, if it works for them, it works. You're assuming that all men are equal, and that all approaches work equally well for all men. I don't think that's true. Everyone is born equal, but they don't die equal. If it were true that abandoning this tactic would yield better results always, then by all means, abandon this approach and go with a better one. I think it's as simple as it works for them so they do it. This is an individual thing. Some people no matter how hard they try are not going to be able to fake or present themselves as 'A' when they're really 'B.' While I personally think using a more agreeable approach is better, I know that it won't work for everyone. They do it because it works.

    There are two main reasons I see for using their approach. Those men use that approach because they like it and it "bulds them up," and/or those men use that approach because it works. Of the two, it "working" makes more sense to me than the "shits 'n giggles" approach. Maybe I'm a deep-down idealist, or naive, but I think this derogatory crap is done because there is benefit to it. If I see otherwise, or expeience otherwise, or there is some evidence that contradicts it, I'm willing to change my mind (I like being right, and I've found the best way to be right is to be willing to change one's mind when you're wrong). Right now, it's Ockham's Razor to me. It makes more sense to me that bad behavior is done for some large benefit.


    Sorry if this made no sense. I'm about a dozen beers into the night. I'll clarify tomorrow.
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    The men who usually speak that way about women are the bitter losers who have been rejected by women all their lives and hate all women because they themselves are inadequate.

    I don't like it and it tells me a lot about the person: that they are unintelligent, classless trash, not worth associating with.
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Just as there are misogynists seeking to prove their superiority over women by abusing them verbally as they fuck them--one way or another--there are masochistic women who seek these men out and reward their misogyny. Who wins?

    Who cares?

    Only weak men resort to insulting women to gain power over them.

    The weak encourage and reward the weak. Some of them pretend it makes them stronger. Those who are truly powerful rise above these pathetic games--indeed, they generally never feel a desire to play them in the first place.
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I am not ruled by words. (Though, those who've heard me talk could probably claim otherwise) Therefor nothing is derogatory to me. I want nothing from the man or woman who uses derogatory words for the sheer function of being so. However, you are more likely to entice a response from me in acting in a derogatory fashion towards someone who may not have the constitution to take it.

    I don't think the problem is that derogatory words exist, its the affect they have that transcends so many other types of words.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    If you want good results, you have to specialize anyway. Making yourself generically likable to "most chicks" is a waste of time.

    Better to specialize in the kind you want and alienate the rest.

    I can't get laid by ugly girls to save my life. But I don't mind that.
    Have to agree, though I'm not sure it should be a conscious effort to specialize as much as merely being true to yourself and focusing on one's own specific desires.
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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    All that being true to oneself stuff is for the birds. If you want a certain result, there is nothing wrong with working towards it. People are dynamic.

    The men who usually speak that way about women are the bitter losers who have been rejected by women all their lives and hate all women because they themselves are inadequate.
    Maybe but another possibility might be they realized how easy it is to be "The other guy" in a relationship. When you find yourself constantly banging some dude's girlfriend or some other dude's wife, you begin to suspect that all women are like this and begin to see them in a different light than you came into the world with.

    And as I said before, what men say when women are looking is usually quite different from what they say when they are not. I often seem boorish because I can't be fake to save my life, so people get the unadulterated me full time. Guys who say "bitch" in private but not in public aren't classy, they are just dishonest and manipulative.

    Some men never say it, which is nice I guess.

    If a guy wanted to err to one extreme or the other, I would suggest he be more of a misogynist than place women on a pedestal. His misogyny won't be fake for long, I venture, because of what I mentioned in my first paragraph.

    Don't think it's only "broken" women are whatever that responds to such behavior. Every woman thinks she' the exception to every rule of course, but it's fairly common. Personally, sometimes I think it's doing the woman a favor being ridiculous because it gives her plenty of fodder to feed to her girlfriends.

    Women seem almost upset when they have nothing to complain about to their friends regarding a guy. Where is the drama? Where is my emotional roller coaster? etc. I won't do it for that reason, but I've definitely noticed that.

    I don't think too many men think they are SUPERIOR to women in any kind of philosophical sense but the "us versus them"dynamic is certainly present.

    A lot of male "bad behavior" came about because of trial and error on the guy's part. He tried being nice, nothing happened there. Maybe one day by accident he was in a bad mood, did something uncharacteristic and noticed it had almost a positive effect. That's what happened to me basically in high school. Even to this day, I will EXPERIMENT with being "nice" to see if it works yet, and it is confirmed over and over again. Even sometimes when my intuition tells me something like "right now this girl needs somebody to be sweet to her" my "training" puts the brakes on it because empiricism has shown me what will happen. One of the luxuries of having a lot of women is that you really have no fear of losing one in particular, which frees you up to try all sorts of things you would never try if you had a crippling fear of loss because there was only one woman in your life.

    If a guy is privileged to be an "in" dude with a bunch of girls, he will hear them talk about how they are manipulating the 10 dudes that are pining over them, how they are going to make So-and-so take her out tomorrow and then afterward she told Such-and-such to come over. You realize that you were So-and-so many times. Wining and dining a broad, saying goodnight, and then going home thinking about her. Was she at home thinking about you? Nope, she had some guy like me over 2 hours later, got fucked, and then got upset when I left to go home to play Dota.

    Thank God for misogynistic rap music, the only genre that is courageous enough to state the truth. I think a lot of that Jack Johnson shit is why so many dudes these days are pussified.

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    The worst thing are when those dudes will sell out and dirty mack their own friends to try and get some ass, or in most cases, just some positive attention. It's disgusting.

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I would much rather be called a nigger than a bitch. When someone calls me a nigger I know the society looks at them in a bad light, as a racist, and a backwards fool. I know if he had said it publicly he would be forced to grovel and still lose his job and reputation. When someone calls me a bitch people look at me as a woman therefore a weak person who accepts disrespect without reacting especially not violently. There is a victim hierarchy and women are clearly not at the top of that hierarchy (I would say it was Jewish males).

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    I don't like it as a generic term for women, definitely not, won't talk to a guy who talks like that.

    As a specific descriptor for a particular one, I find it's the female equivalent of "prick" or "asshole" - both of which never get used for women. I'll describe a particular woman as a "bitch" or guy as a "prick" and don't have a problem with that. I'm not sure what other words I could use: "jerk" is pretty much male-dominated, so I'd be left with "highly disagreeable and detestable person" otherwise :-).

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    Default Re: Derogatory words towards women

    Even though I am a "stripper", I have respect for myself. I went to the Blue side recently and the way that they talk about us was really offensive! I guess sometimes I'm a little naive to what guys really think about dancers because all I really HEAR them say are the cheesy pick up lines.
    When I'm with girl friends we refer to each other as ho, slut, c*nt, bitch, etc... but we say it in a playful way. When a guy says it, he usually means it.
    So yes I do get offended.

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