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Thread: Man, this sucks so bad

  1. #51
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    weren't you supposed to call about the job saturday? did you?

  2. #52
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    BG, you havent replied to the blood bank idea. thoughts? I think you're selling yourself MAJORLY short if you dont take the Honda job. safeway is NOT a career. Honda is. A good friend of my bfs is a honda salesman, he makes $$$$. in the start, he made $$$. seriously good money.

    i have an idea for you, but it's not for this thread. ill PM.
    I think if I can get the job, and make it to the first paycheck, I could be golden. They said women can be at an advantage.

    As far as the bloodbank, I'll look into it, but the reason I haven't responded to it is honestly I'm a big baby with needles...

    And thank you for your PM. I've never done that before, but I might swallow my pride and ask...

  3. #53
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    If you are absolutely CERTAIN that you will get paid in two weeks, there are those payday loan services. They charge an exorbitant amount of interest, but if you only use the service once, it could get you to and from work.

    Some of them offer a no-interest loan the first time, IF you pay it off in the first month or other time frame.

    Just don't fall into the trap of borrowing from one of them to pay off another.

  4. #54
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    weren't you supposed to call about the job saturday? did you?
    Yes! I did. I'm too lazy to find my reply on here for you, so I'll just paraphrase:

    Called, they have more interviews to do, I'm high on the interest list, they love my thank you note, and told me to give them a week for them to call me back.

    UM: This town is too tiny for those kinds of places Honestly I don't know when my first check would be; I'm estimating 3 weeks if the place goes on a biweekly pay schedule.

  5. #55
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    If you are absolutely CERTAIN that you will get paid in two weeks, there are those payday loan services. They charge an exorbitant amount of interest, but if you only use the service once, it could get you two and from work.

    Some of them offer a no-interest loan the first time, IF you pay it off in the first month or other time frame.

    Just don't fall into the trap of borrowing from one of them to pay off another.
    Yes, I have used these places before I danced for things like having to take my animals to the vet between paychecks. But the problem is you need a valid bank account and check stub to get a loan from them. They need proof of income or they won't do it.

  6. #56
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post
    not quite agreeing to that opinion because the exact other side of the coin is misogynistic.

    BUT, why can't "R" try for the safeway job as well (or anything else?). i'm guessing he's all depressed and such from the previous job but either take handouts, unemployment benes, or whatever or get off his duff and get a job.

    btw, i know that is much easier said than done. and i'm probably typing thoughts you've already had and it's weighing on the marriage already. but we make our lives together. he has to start seeing the depression he's foisting onto you. otherwise, it's not much of a relationship anymore.

    this isn't a job thread as much as it's a relationship thread imho. money's the #1 issue among couples (from most sources i've read). this must be dealt with to go forward.

    R needs to understand there's nothing to be ashamed of in taking a job "under" him. otoh, forcing you to jump thru hoops and being stressed IS something to be ashamed of. how can someone who cares for you put you thru such stress/fear "unnecessarily"? i'm sorry if this is a bit harsh but he (and maybe you) need a nudge. or swift kick in the can.

    i understand you're trying on the financial end, which is probably easier than dealing with the true issue on an emotional/relationship level. good luck!
    He says these jobs like Safeway, McDonald's etc. don't even bother with him once they see his education. Even when he makes it clear he has a family to care for and he'll take the job. He's even tweaked his resume by leaving off job experience, grad school, etc. The problem he has is when they interview him and ask if his resume is truthful (they see his age and want to be sure), he says he breaks down and tells the truth because he's afraid of the reprocussions of him lying and them finding out through a background check or something.

    Any advice on how to handle that? I don't know what to tell him; I don't even have one college degree yet...

    Also, I suggested he work at night, but nothing is really open here at night. I thought maybe a night stocker? He's also looking into work from home stuff.

  7. #57
    zxcire
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    He says these jobs like Safeway, McDonald's etc. don't even bother with him once they see his education. Even when he makes it clear he has a family to care for and he'll take the job. He's even tweaked his resume by leaving off job experience, grad school, etc. The problem he has is when they interview him and ask if his resume is truthful (they see his age and want to be sure), he says he breaks down and tells the truth because he's afraid of the reprocussions of him lying and them finding out through a background check or something.

    Any advice on how to handle that? I don't know what to tell him; I don't even have one college degree yet...
    Yup. Keep trying. I am overeducated for all the jobs I've had but one; the one I got the education for...all he can do is keep trying.

    I had a horrible time trying to get a job after I was fired from my two jobs due to alcohol abuse, and unemployed for 3 months while I completed rehab and moved into a halfway house.

    Damn it was disheartening, and honesty seemed to get me nowhere, but I finally did find a job at an adult store, because I didn't make excuses. I stayed out there and kept trying and it paid off after 3 months of trying.

  8. #58
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    He says these jobs like Safeway, McDonald's etc. don't even bother with him once they see his education. Even when he makes it clear he has a family to care for and he'll take the job. He's even tweaked his resume by leaving off job experience, grad school, etc. The problem he has is when they interview him and ask if his resume is truthful (they see his age and want to be sure), he says he breaks down and tells the truth because he's afraid of the reprocussions of him lying and them finding out through a background check or something.

    Any advice on how to handle that? I don't know what to tell him; I don't even have one college degree yet...
    bg, college degrees aren't worth as much as the experience ime. i have the degree but the work experience is worth much more than the lambskin. so don't let that worry you or discourage you. iirc, bill gates never got his degree either.

    as for how to handle those situations, here's my suggestion:

    leave some of the companies on the resume but tell him to back off of the titles or whatever details a bit. also, condition him to "lie" a little. everyone does it, he's just doing it in "reverse" or leaving out info. it's not like he's leaving out a felony conviction. it's nothing bad, it's just "overqualifications".

    if they do get into explaining why he's hunting for jobs "beneath him", train him to reply something along the lines of corporate bs finally got to him. so now you both work rather than just him but his stress levels (you can even bs a blood pressure recommendation) just couldn't take it anymore.

    he can also take the point of a "2nd career" or "mid-life change" and now he's looking for a fresh start. he has a lot of experience to offer and etc.
    but frankly, his attitude needs to be positive. i've interviewed people defeated and you can see and hear it. he needs to believe in himself. you obviously do, he needs to as well. that will help him a lot in interviews.

    there are a lot of entry jobs that a lot of experienced people go after. some are retirees, some are just looking to supplement income, part-timers, etc. i know people who work in pet stores and clothing stores just to get discounts at those places even while working at a full-time job. R can aim for weekend timeslots too.

    with the current housing slump and slowdown, having an extensive resume will not be out of the norm. i've seen very qualified (overqualified) applicants. sadly, that's the market out there. but i suspect it's how he going about it. good luck to both of you!

  9. #59
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    You're right Snoopy, he IS very defeated. I don't know how to help him except tell him I believe in him

  10. #60
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Why can't he tell the truth?

    " I have been laid off for several years now. It's very obvious that I will not be able to find another job in my field any time in the near future. Meanwhile, I have a family I have been neglicting to support, and I need to find a new position. Due to my current financial strains, even if I were to be offered a career in my field, I would still continue to work this job as well, because I have fallen behind and wish to work 2 jobs to catch up."

    I mean...thatmay not be a complete truth, but it answers the question of why he wants a lower job, and it also answeres the question abotu whatwill happen if he finds a job. He could quit, but he needs to tell them he won't and ease their fears about it being temporary.

    Or he could say he's seekign a career change and wants to work up the ranks to a managerial position.


    The bottom line is this: Whatever he is currently doing isn't working. He can't continue to do his forever, because it's obviously not the right solution. He needs to change and find a new way to get things acomplished. It's become very obvious that whatever his "highly specialized field" is...they ain't hiring. They may not hire for 3 more years. How long are you willing to wait for this dream job to come along? Somethign needs to be done in the meantime.
    He can look for a job in a related field that isn't so specialized?
    I just can't believe thathe would put this entire burden on you, and for so long.

  11. #61
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    You're right Snoopy, he IS very defeated. I don't know how to help him except tell him I believe in him
    no, that's pretty much what you can do. that's why i felt it IS partially a relationship thread. i'm not blaming R per se but he really needs to pull himself out of this tailspin. both for himself and for YOU!

    i could tell way back in the germany threads (thru your comments) that that job meant a lot to him. and i could only imagine the crushing defeat he viewed it as. it's difficult. and i commend you for standing by him giving him your support, that isn't easy. but it's richer OR poorer.

    the "little" jobs (not to be offensive to anyone) are more like confidence builders for him imo. it's also just to rid himself of idle time. i know for myself when i retire i'm going after some of these jobs just to fill time for myself. (i gotta have something to do when the kids are at school! )

    these "smaller jobs" have a lot of benefits besides the obvious monetary or insurance stuff. new and different experiences, new and different industries, etc.

    hard to say how to approach R on this as i don't know him, but maybe present it as a challenge rather than "just settling". i'm not even sure if that has to do with his feelings of defeat. but i do believe he needs to do something to get out of the rut. doing nothing just magnifies the despair imo.

  12. #62
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Awww - this thread is so sad BG. I hope all works out for you and Snoopy has some valid points.

    If he lies and gets the job then gets caught all thats going to happen is hes fired from a job he may not have gotten in the first place. Big deal. He just leaves that out of his next application like it never happened.

    But most likely if he gets caught theyll ask why he lied and he can tell them its because no one would hire him because he was overqualified. Simple and true. Now they have the option of firing him for trying to do the best thing for his family or tell him not to lie again and he stays.

    May not hurt to have him read this thread... everyones trying to help you but its not just you. Its the two of you, together.

  13. #63
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    expanding on what rose posted and clarifying my position, i'm not advocating outright lying. i'm very much an ardent opponent of lying, in fact (bad experience from a prior relationship).

    i'm just saying leave stuff out of the resume. e.g. "2002 to 2004 Mayfair Companies", "2004 to 2007 Blackstone International", etc. no need to go in-depth on positions and responsibilities. especially for those entry-level jobs.

    if anything, it'll be likely that they will ask for more info in those circumstances to see if he can contribute something from those experiences.

    or more likely they won't care and only look at references he provides. entry-level work usually doesn't even ask for resumes. imo, they're only looking to see if you're a felon or something in those instances.

  14. #64
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Thanks. He's applying for jobs right now and has a phone interview for a job in AZ tomorrow. He's not getting too excited though because he's had a lot of those, and they've went nowhere.

  15. #65
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Okay, I can't stand watching you guys spin your wheels anymore. I agree...whatever R is doing right now, it isn't working.

    My fiance is an HR staffing specialist for Standard Aero and he hires for all positions, from assembly line workers to six-figure salary directors. He knows the ins and outs of what companies are looking for and can offer great advice if he knows exactly what the situation is. He'd be glad to point R in the right direction (and he hires for positions in the US as well, so you never know.) So if you want, PM me or post here with the specifics....you know, what kind of degree he has, the field he wants to get into, experience, blah blah blah and I'll ask my guy when he gets home. He'll seriously be glad to help out if he can.
    \

  16. #66
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Man, this sucks so bad

    Thanks Kitty. I PM'd you

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