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Thread: Dealing with "Normal People"

  1. #1
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Dealing with "Normal People"

    Dancing has ruined me for the real world, I guess.

    As a stripper, I get to be as discerning and hypersensitive as I want. Lately, anybody that offends me, even by being just a little demeaning or cocky, I tell to fuck off.

    So, this week I'm being a substitute special ed aid. The kids aren't the problem, it's the parents. They all want to ask me a hundred and fifty questions and then be like, "aw, isn't that cute you live in a van, how old are you sweetie?" Or, well, whatever comes up they've all got that attitude. I asked one of them how old she was back and told her it was just adorable that she's a housewife, and she went and told the principal I was rude. I get that "fuck off" isn't the appropriate response, but what is?



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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    The best way to deal with 'normal' people is, don't.

    Seriously.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    It was kind of rude of her to ask, but don't take it personally, for one, and realize that they are inquisitive. And making small talk. Basically, treat those parents like they are special ed students.

    also, I would not tell them that you live in a van or any other interesting facts; I would refrain from sharing the less-normal parts of your life until you have felt them out a bit.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    ^^I agree with what Susan said.

    But if they had said "aw, isn't that cute you live in a van, how old are you sweetie?".... I would have prolly said the same thing. Then i would have suggested her attitude problems could rub off on her kid who is more polite than she, so she'd better 'change' what she 'says and does'......... and smile back sweetly.

    She had it coming, good for you telling how you feel, but just be careful is all.




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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    This has got me thinking. we really do get away with acting how we like in dancing and I expect that I will have the same problems that you are experiencing when I start my other career.

    I dont have any advise tho but that woman was a rude bitch and deserved what was said to her.
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    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Senior Member Aelfu_Gifu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    I am a firm believer in 100% responsibility, baby. The next time someone says, "You live in a van? Aw! How old are you?" don't be sarcastic. It gets you nowhere. Try being honest and polite. "It's not glamorous, but I am creating a life I love. I hope your life is as happy as mine is."

    Just remember, regarding attitude: You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for... and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.
    "She held me close and whispered in my ear how wonderful I was. Since I'm not wonderful. I was pretty sure this was a trap. So I figured I'd better grope her as much as I could before they sprung the trap. You've got to take what you can get in this life. I read that in a magazine. So I started smearing kisses on her and pawing the front of her dress, trying to get my money's worth before somebody bashed my head in." John Swartzwelder

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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Wow. Now that is a strong comeback. Free of anger, too.

  8. #8
    DJ Maimed
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by Aelfu_Gifu View Post
    I am a firm believer in 100% responsibility, baby. The next time someone says, "You live in a van? Aw! How old are you?" don't be sarcastic. It gets you nowhere. Try being honest and polite. "It's not glamorous, but I am creating a life I love. I hope your life is as happy as mine is."

    Just remember, regarding attitude: You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for... and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.

    ^^^Very nice post!! To Lena...it is not an easy thing but try to put yourself in their shoes. You are being put in the position of responsibility for these peoples kids....it is very understandable from their perspective to want to know about whom they are entrusting the care of their loved ones to. You feel as if you are being judged...guess what?? You fricken-A are!! The quicker you learn what to say and project to allay these people's worries of "is my kid safe?" and "is this Lena lady ok??" etc., the quicker the questions will stop.

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    Veteran Member pinupgurl2k6's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot View Post
    The best way to deal with 'normal' people is, don't.

    Seriously.
    I have to agree with her, it is just too frustrating to deal with the so called "normal"
    people. Normal people or the stereotypical normal human tend to freak me out a bit
    because they are not real or being true to themselves.


    -Pinupgurl2k6

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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Dealing with the public sucks , the old saying ( there is one in every crowd ) is no longer true. Today you get one nice person in a crowd of asshat's !

    When you work in a public eye , you will find that a lot of people seem to be on a power trip to belittle all others to make themselves feel more powerful.

    I have been in the restaurant biz for 20 years and I deal with people like this everyday. I would like to tell you it will get better but I don't think it will and good for you for telling her off , getting the upper hand on the first pitch will keep her in check for a bit.......
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Emily
    I'm a little shy, but okay....

  11. #11
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    I've found that I have the very same problem. If I'm not being extremely flirty, I'm telling someone to fuck off (though perhaps in somewhat less harsh words).

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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    god, i know what you mean. im interning in a school for autistic kids. the other teachers make me want to shoot someone sometimes. like the girl i went out with for halloween.. omg i SPOKE to your roommate's bf and you came in and told people i tried to break up their relationship.

    i agree. dont deal with them whenever that's possible.

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    Veteran Member SnakeBabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by Aelfu_Gifu View Post
    I am a firm believer in 100% responsibility, baby. The next time someone says, "You live in a van? Aw! How old are you?" don't be sarcastic. It gets you nowhere. Try being honest and polite. "It's not glamorous, but I am creating a life I love. I hope your life is as happy as mine is."

    Just remember, regarding attitude: You pay for what you get, you own what you pay for... and sooner or later whatever you own comes back home to you.
    Good answer.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    They really don't need to know anything about your personal life. The less they know, the better.

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    It was kind of rude of her to ask, but don't take it personally, for one, and realize that they are inquisitive. And making small talk. Basically, treat those parents like they are special ed students.

    also, I would not tell them that you live in a van or any other interesting facts; I would refrain from sharing the less-normal parts of your life until you have felt them out a bit.

    I agree with Susan. Quite frankly it is none of her business.


    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    They really don't need to know anything about your personal life. The less they know, the better.

    I so agree with this statement. I dont have time for thier crazy drama. People are always inquring about my life. It is none of thier business. I tell them I am very discreet, or I tell them I dont discuss my personal life. Than smile in thier face. They usually get the picture. They still try but I shut them down!

    I have enought promblems in my life. Why make more, dont give them fuel to go on! Most women cannot process a woman be a dancer. Earn a wonderful living, is smart, and a loving mom.

    This totally off the subject. Yet this have a point.

    My neighbors are gay women. They had made an aggrement with a male gay couple. They aggreement was to have a baby, with these gay males. Each woman had a baby. So two babies are born. Not at the same time. But exactly two years apart. One of the gay males we will call x. gave his sperm to the black lady. The other gave his sperm to the white lady. So each of them have thier own child. The two women own the house next door. The two men come everyday and spend time. With thier children. Yet alot of people make a big fuss about the whole thing, saying that the parents are not right! The gay couples are always taking care of thier children. They have them in the garden. Helping them plant veggies. They take real good care of thier children. But all people see is that they live a differant lifestyle than them, and it "not exectable". The main people that talks about the gay couple. Do not spend enought time with thier kids. Give thier children chips for breakfast. Yet they talk about other people.
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    This isn't so helpful but just...do your best? I mean, the majority of your life isn't spent dealing with these people and if you're going to hit the road in a week, I wouldn't stress too much over it. Maybe it's healthy for the condescending conservatrons to get their patronizing attitudes throwned back at them once in a while.

    Or you could just play dumb/extra polite when they hit you with the veiled insults. That drives them batty.

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    On one side (my dancer and not normal side) I agree with you and would just tell you to tell them what they want to hear and nothing more than they need to know .

    On my other side , that being a parent , I kinda feel like I would want to know certain things about the person who is caring for my child . It may seem like they just drop their kids off and go but its hard to not be with your kids . I am terrified of the day my daughter will go off to school and be away from my protection . I can't even imagine how much more stressful it would be if she had learning disabilities !!

    Just take a deep breath and try to see it from both sides .
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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    They really don't need to know anything about your personal life. The less they know, the better.

    mmmmm , I dunno I mean she is caring for their children , wouldn't you want to know certain things about the person in charge of child ??? I would .
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    mmmmm , I dunno I mean she is caring for their children , wouldn't you want to know certain things about the person in charge of child ??? I would .
    where they live? no. thats not any business of the parents. why should they care if i live in a house or a box?

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by pinupgurl2k6 View Post
    Normal people or the stereotypical normal human tend to freak me out a bit
    because they are not real or being true to themselves.


    -Pinupgurl2k6
    Totally.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    ^Exactly. I am a mommy, and I do get scared every time I drp my kiddo off to school...but a teacher's personal life has no bearing on how my child is cared for at school. Kinda crazy, but true.

    I think I might have held my tongue a bit when the snotty mom was questioning me, but I can see how it came across as a degrading and patronizing comment. And yah, it would have ruffled my feathers too!




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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    where they live? no. thats not any business of the parents. why should they care if i live in a house or a box?

    Well I am defiantly not going to argue with you . However personally I would only want someone stable caring for my kids and personally I would not consider someone without a home stable . You have to know that your choices may not be considered responsible to other people so why tell them ? I don't tell jealous wives that I am a stripper when I move in next door....ya know ?

    it sounds like the women was trying to be supportive BUT I wasn't there so I don;t know her tone . Just from what was said about "oh thats nice" that doesn't sound like an attack .

    If you are caring for someones child they have every right to ask you questions and you have every right to not answer them . Its not like they were asking what you real hair color is or something weird .....I just can't understand why you would tell anyone that you live in your car in the first place ???? You know thats not going to sound "normal" or stable . Hey its not my life and those kids are not mine so whatever I was just giving both sides .
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    ^ but youre saying the parents have a right to know she lives in a van? yet you think she shouldnt have told them?

    that would be like saying well hey i'm a stripper so i might be unfit to care for your children.

  24. #24
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    First off sorry us normal people are rude, shame on us. :just kidding: no on a serious note I don't dance and I encounter rude, idiots, insensitive ass wipes that I would like to just tell off but I smile and look away, pisses people off even more for some reason.

    People will be nice or mean no matter what you do or what you are used to doing for a living. I have 2 kids and I have no clue where my kiddo's teacher lives. Oh and at times I have told a few people to fuck off because they deserve it but that has been a really rare occasion.

    Once in the supermarket, the teller was pissed at this customer and because she complained he said out loud next time she comes ask her for her green card and laughed together with a few more, umm yeah that did not fly with me at all and I said "OMG! you are so fucking hysterical! where do you get your material from?! omg and you work here as a teller, in a supermarket and aren't on TV?! why not?! hysterical!" totally sarcastic and he said "well let someone come to your job and judge you" I said " people judge people all the time, doesn't give you the fucking right to be an asshole to a person, specially about their race and if they have a damn green card, go ahead judge my work I am a mother, that is my job and you know what not you or anyone else can judge me only my children will so chill out"

    I don't like it when people say shit like that.

    Anyway honey people will piss you off, part of life, happens almost every day where someone will get to you but vent here and let it go cause man life is too short to live pissed off at people who do not deserve more than a second of your attention and energy.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with "Normal People"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Well I am defiantly not going to argue with you . However personally I would only want someone stable caring for my kids and personally I would not consider someone without a home stable .
    Lena's home is wherever she is. And I don't know her, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that her home is more stable than most.

    Anyway...

    I get a LOT of this due to the decisions I've made in my life.

    Honestly, and maybe this was different, but it reminds me of that time a while back when some nice older woman you'd met told some guy, "This is Lena, she travels around and lives by her wits!"

    "They" find us, our mindset, and our way of life incredibly novel. I'm sure some of them are threatened by our freedom (i.e. jealous) and you can definitely feel their contempt. But others--I really think they are just incredibly amused, intrigued...inspired even.

    The nice ones--I regale in tales of my bohemian life. The nasty ones, I try to ignore but I usually end up saying something designed to make them feel very small. Aelfu_Gifu's response is actually great because it works so well for both. If you say something like this to a nasty person who thinks you're a naive, young hippie-wannabe or a godless heathen they'll be floored.

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