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Thread: Drunk Hall of Shame

  1. #1
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Drunk Hall of Shame

    If this has been done, I apolagize, but most embarassing drunk stories.

    ~Went to dinner after work. Was too drunk to eat my meal. Parked my car in the gas station in front of the diesel pump. Woke up at 7 am to get my car before it was towed. My mom drove me the hour away, it was already towed, only because I parked it right in front of the pump. I'm puking and trying to tell my mom where to go as we look for the impound lot. $85 to get my car out of impound, $20 to my mom for gas. It was a fucking mess.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Headed over to a girlfriends house with a 1.75L Grey Goose and half a case of Red Bull. Party headcount: 4 girls, 1 guy. Commence drinking. Vodka redbull was all we had. We drink and drink, but still don't feel drunk (due to the redbull). We are dancing to the 90s club mix radio station. Thats the last thing I remember. I wake up the next morning with the worst hangover Ive ever had. The last thing I remember was not feeling drunk. I go all day without asking the boy what happened, and he doesnt mention it either. Odd... Finally at the end of the day he asks what I remember, I confess nothing, and he pulls out the camera. In the photo record there are pics of us chugging the bottle, me doing weird floorwork type moves in only my underwear out on the back deck, videos of us dancing HORRIBLY, embarassing! Allegedly I tried to go down on my friend but she didnt return the favor, we were all going to have an orgy (well except one girl) but I never returned from the bathroom because I started barfing, so the boy put my clothes back on and stuffed me in the truck to take me home and I barfed out the window on IH35... and at the end of the night all the vodka and redbull was gone!

    P.S. this is the night that my "Tummy Pics" thread photos came from!

  3. #3
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    wow i feel lame. i have no good stories.

  4. #4
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Me neither. The worst I ever did was throw up outside my friend's car, get a massage from him and reciprocate with a blowjob, then tell The Hubby about it while the friend was right there. (We were open then and we're open now!)

    In retrospect, why in the world did he want a blowjob from me after I had thrown up? Grossssss.


  5. #5
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    im not sober now,.!!! hehehe.. does this count.1!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?

    cdeos badddd internmetposting count``````````???????




  6. #6
    Veteran Member LexxusLovely's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    Headed over to a girlfriends house with a 1.75L Grey Goose and half a case of Red Bull. Party headcount: 4 girls, 1 guy. Commence drinking. Vodka redbull was all we had. We drink and drink, but still don't feel drunk (due to the redbull). We are dancing to the 90s club mix radio station. Thats the last thing I remember. I wake up the next morning with the worst hangover Ive ever had. The last thing I remember was not feeling drunk. I go all day without asking the boy what happened, and he doesnt mention it either. Odd... Finally at the end of the day he asks what I remember, I confess nothing, and he pulls out the camera. In the photo record there are pics of us chugging the bottle, me doing weird floorwork type moves in only my underwear out on the back deck, videos of us dancing HORRIBLY, embarassing! Allegedly I tried to go down on my friend but she didnt return the favor, we were all going to have an orgy (well except one girl) but I never returned from the bathroom because I started barfing, so the boy put my clothes back on and stuffed me in the truck to take me home and I barfed out the window on IH35... and at the end of the night all the vodka and redbull was gone!

    P.S. this is the night that my "Tummy Pics" thread photos came from!
    That's awesome. But stories like these are probably why I never started drinking in the first place. I'd rather be the one with the camera.
    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    As I was walking by the dressing room to the little girl's room, I heard this gem:

    Stripper: "And that wasn't the first time I lost my panties while bull-riding."



  7. #7
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    If I had any crazy drinking stories, I would definitely NOT be proud to boast drunk driving ones.

  8. #8
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    doeyt thisn mena i dh

    osh shit

    does this mean si should nto be pround of drunk psstoing?




  9. #9
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Quote Originally Posted by pookie View Post
    doeyt thisn mena i dh

    osh shit

    does this mean si should nto be pround of drunk psstoing?
    drunk driving, sweetie. You're fine.

  10. #10
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    yaaaaaaay ima a goodd girl then!




  11. #11
    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    One night like two years ago..I was out partying with my friend..and we would always go back to the club that we worked at to drink more, if we could (well she could I couldn't all the time because I was underage. Well I got so drunk that I passed out in the dj booth and the dj took pictures of me and stuff. and some girls went out on the floor and we apparently telling my friend "um your friend natalie looks like she's dead you should go check on her." lol. And another time at senior week, I got very wasted and blacked out, but apparently I started crying about how i missed my mother and stuff...so embarrassing, glad I don't remember those times!

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Quote Originally Posted by exotisch23 View Post
    If I had any crazy drinking stories, I would definitely NOT be proud to boast drunk driving ones.
    I was thinking the same thing. Drunk driving, not cool or funny.

  13. #13
    Veteran Member naughty_princess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    my friend and i were pretty wasted and the two guys we were hanging out with stopped at a gas station so we could go pee. Wellll.....the gas station has glass doors and I walked right into the fucking door!!!
    Somehow we both made it into the bathroom but all i can remember is my friend laying on the floor (gross) and I was spinning and was trying to figure out how to unbutton my pants. When we finally stumbled out this lady made eye contact with me...i found out later that she was a cop.
    Good thing she didn't say anything......i was only like 16 at the time

  14. #14
    God/dess Embyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    I was that dumb american tourist that mixed 7 different shots at 7 different bars in Dublin when I was 17 and didn't know any better (never drank before) and puked all over the streets. ha.

    Uhh... my sportbike group went drunk-bowling and i had too many bloodies and we had to pull over on the side of the 405 freeway a bunch of times to puke. beh. of course, the week before I'd been DD, so I remember drunkenly telling my friends not to laugh because they were doing this same damn thing last week, and I was the one pulling over to let THEM puke.

    i'm not too fun to drink with... i'm amusing for 2 shots, three i get dizzy, 3.5 i puke. yeah.... no alkee-hawl for me.

  15. #15
    Alaska
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    Quote Originally Posted by SundayMorning View Post
    The worst I ever did was throw up outside my friend's car, get a massage from him and reciprocate with a blowjob,
    As much funny shit as I've read on this board to-day, ......like, my stomach hurts from laughing. I keep stopping laughing, then reading this, then starting again! Fucking wonderful! Ahhhhh and I didn't even realize the bj was the same nite as the throwing up at first---you're right, what nasty pigs men are.

  16. #16
    God/dess LuckyOne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    My favorite drunk story is the time I showed the male strippers "how its done" at a gay strip club. We had so much fun!!! Maybe next time I'll even be brave enough to get a lap dance!

  17. #17
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Oh I just thought of one. So embarassing.


    Me and my boyfriend go to Vegas. (ha. of course.) I was 20 with a fake ID. I had only started drinking really the past year. We were staying at the Hyatt, because he gets free rooms. We had just got done reading Jenna's book, so we had to go to the Crazy Horse Too. (This was also my first time in a sc ever, forgive me.) I drank 5 LIT's poured @ a sc. What.A.Dumb.Bitch. Anyway. I was drunk but feeling and acting pretty fine on the way to the hotel, and I do remember the 3 hour long sex where I was a complete ragdoll because I was so numb you could twist me anywhere. (I know he loved THAT!)

    I woke up in the middle of the nite and puked my fucking guts out. Down the side of the bed, on the floor, prob in the bed too. I think my saint of a bf just went back to sleep! I guess I did too, not sure. I remember he went downstairs to check out @ noon, while I had like 10 mins trying to pack alone and puking, and it was the hardest physical thing I've ever done! Before he went downstairs, I was panicking about "what do I do? What do I do? I can't believe I threw up everywhere!" and he told me it was going to be okay and there was nothing I could do.

    We tried driving home but had to stop every 8 mins so I could throw up. I then popped a few Dramamines (why hadn't I thought of this before?) and we pulled over and had the most peaceful sleep in the car for 8 hours next to Lake Meade. It was beautiful.

    We've been together 3 years now, but this was only a couple months into our relationship, and our first time traveling together.


    I have since asked "did the Hyatt call and say anything?" several times, and he always said no.

    This saint of a boyfriend waited until LAST MONTH to reveal the true fact: The manager called not just to tell him the security deposit wouldn't be returned, but BITCHED HIM OUTTTTTT about how it was the most vile thing they have ever seen. So cute he waited over 2.5 years to tell me!

  18. #18
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    ummm well on halloween night this year my friend and i were so drunk that we went to the park and thought we took a picture of a ghost, so we were running home almost in tears freaking out that we'd brought a ghost home with us, then we drunkenly posted bulletins all about it on myspace and we were probably more scared than we'd ever been in our entire lives.... until a myspace friend kindly pointed out that it wasn't a ghost, it was the camera strap.

    my friends and i get drunk and crazy all the time. i do so much stupid shit when i'm drunk.

  19. #19
    OdysseusNJ
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    Wow, I'm so happy I haven't had one of these stories in about five years. My first one was a funny one, I was about 17, a bunch of my friends and I went to my bassist's house b/c his mom was out of town... Everyone but my GF and I went out to buy 40s (cut me some slack, I was 17 and didn't know how to drink any better) from the bodega in Long Island City that didn't give a shit about age. While they were out we had sex on my friend's bed and I really should have just quit while I was ahead. Anyway, they come back with the booze and we start drinking. After everyone is pretty toasted this one guy who had a glass eye pulls out this bottle of wine whose cork must have been faulty. I was the one to try it and I almost vomited just from one sip, ugh. Thanks a lot Gregorio. Anyway I'm getting progressively more sloppy (everyone is actually) and glasseye takes out his eye and starts doing tricks with it. Then he starts hitting on my GF. I miss all of this because I'm going around dancing to Metallica or some shit and finishing all the beers other people didn't. I think I was singing too and someone dared me to piss in the sink. My cousin was there though and he tells glasseye to cut the shit out. I love my cousin. Except for what happened next. Somehow I wind up on the floor and cuz and my friend Joe think, hey what a great idea, let's pick me up by my hands and feet and swing me around, kind of like a heavy jump rope or something. I start moaning and begging for them to stop so they kind of let me flop back down on the floor and everyone gets a good laugh. By now the Metallica was probably over but I'm sure Tool was on or something. Anyway people are all hanging out in the living room talking philosophy or maybe which 40 sucks the most - that is everyone but me. It turns out finishing everyone else's 40s is not a good idea, sometime around like 3 or so my GF says, hey where's Odysseus [well not really, you know what I mean], and people start looking around like, "hmm?" Then Joe says "uh oh..." Uh oh because there is a trickle of vomit steadily draining out from under the bathroom door. Turns out brilliant Odysseus is getting lovey dovey with the toilet bowl, how romantic; problem is I'm way too much man for just one toilet bowl and there is vomit everywhere. Everywhere - this landing zone is f%$!ing hot, unfriendly I say, get the hell out of there. Anyway I'm in real bad shape, vomiting for hours. After a while my GF tried to lure me into the shower to get cleaned up by getting naked and asking really sweetly. I just cry in response. Normally I'd walk across the highway blindfolded if a cute naked girl asked. Holy shit those 40s were brutal. I had to take the subway home from god damned Roosevelt Island to south Brooklyn the next day, oh my god are trains loud when you are begining a two day hangover. I couldn't believe how badly that sucked.

    Oh well at least it makes a funny story with no ill effect beyond the hangover, which can't be said about all such escapades.

    Quote Originally Posted by pookie View Post
    doeyt thisn mena i dh

    osh shit

    does this mean si should nto be pround of drunk psstoing?
    I would be proud if I drunk posted half as well as you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I was thinking the same thing. Drunk driving, not cool or funny.
    Agreed, drunk driving = very very lame.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    they have ever seen. So cute he waited over 2.5 years to tell me!
    Wow that's such an awesome ending!

  20. #20
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Quote Originally Posted by OdysseusNJ View Post
    My cousin was there though and he tells glasseye to cut the shit out.
    Ahhahahhahaha!!! I so miss my east coast ppls. Good story. I have def sat across from ppl on the train in that condition at like 2 on a Sunday all trying not to throw up from the bottled water they can barely drink and the rocking of the train, sweating profusely--yea I will not hesitate to illegally switch cars and hold my breath till the next stop....oh god ...I was a reg on the 4am 5 nites a week path back to Jersey too, those were some good ass times for this emetephobe....

  21. #21
    OdysseusNJ
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Quote Originally Posted by Alaska View Post
    Ahhahahhahaha!!! I so miss my east coast ppls. Good story. I have def sat across from ppl on the train in that condition at like 2 on a Sunday all trying not to throw up from the bottled water they can barely drink and the rocking of the train, sweating profusely--yea I will not hesitate to illegally switch cars and hold my breath till the next stop....oh god ...I was a reg on the 4am 5 nites a week path back to Jersey too, those were some good ass times for this emetephobe....
    I had nothing left to puke at that point but I sure stared at my feet the whole ride with my head in my hands. Luckily I had a friend along to tell me when to switch trains.

    Actually last call on southbound Caltrain from SF might be the worst I've seen along these lines as public transportation goes, except for the one time I was on the train in Amsterday on Koninginnedag, but that's an annual event, I'm sure Jan 1 on the NYC subway is pretty hairy too - although like many natives I avoid Times Square for all that nonsense.

    And yeah Path can get nasty too, although I'm so far in Jersey now though that my only option is a 1am private bus line if I don't want to drive or crash at a friend's.

  22. #22
    miss marina
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    and glasseye takes out his eye and starts doing tricks with it.




    Why did I open this...i was eating ew

  23. #23
    Alaska
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    I so want to hear people's stories about other drunk people they have witnessed! especially train ones.

  24. #24
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    The only funny story I have was it was back in the day when I had like my first real drinks and I remember having to go pee real bad. I tell my sister "Pst I got to pee" so she walks me to the bathroom" the next thing I know I can't get off the toilet! I swear my body was so heavy so I started to scream for my sister.

    She comes in and says "wth is your problem! you are going to wake up mom and she's going to kill us!" and as she says this a fly flew by but it was the slowest fly I had ever seen so I started to laugh so loud my sister freaked and slapped me! that only made me laugh more!

    Next thing I remember was something about me swimming on a table but that was about it.

  25. #25
    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Drunk Hall of Shame

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    I was thinking the same thing. Drunk driving, not cool or funny.
    I hope you guys aren't saying that because I said I parked my car at a gas station . I literally drove it about 500 ft. because I couldn't leave it where it was. And apparantly couldn't leave it where I left it becase it got towed...oops.


    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    Boner Man, Boner Man,
    Here comes Sweatpant Boner Man,
    Getting some love the only way he can -
    Boner Man.

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