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Thread: another relationship problem (plese advise)

  1. #26
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    yes. but he trailed off. so i finished it with a question mark. i thought he would say more maybe




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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    24 years old
    she's 19
    this is the first time ive been in love
    she's had two relationships before.. but i doubt you can have a genuine relationship at 16, 17, ...
    her last bf went to jail for stabbing someone, and abused her...

    he's from the same country as me, and i know who this schmuck is.. but thats neither here or there

  3. #28
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    She is only 19, which is big, women come across major major changes between 18-25. give or take a few years. mentality grows leaps and bounds hopefully in a healthy way as well.
    which country are you from?




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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    im from montenegro (from the city)
    he's albanian (country side, hill billies and gypsies)

    and yes, she has matured a lot, when i first met her in february, she was all about partying (something that im not into that much).. lately she's just been a chill at home person..

  5. #30
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    how long have you been living in the US?




  6. #31
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    since 1988

  7. #32
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    ok, so you are familiar that American society matures slower than most of the European society




  8. #33
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    she's russian
    came to the us i think in the early 90s

  9. #34
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Some people aren't ready for a long term relationship at 19 (or even 24). Let the girl live.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    may i please just remind everyone...

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    this is way too much drama for a 2 month long relationship.
    Quote Originally Posted by hardkandee View Post
    This is too much drama for a 2 YEAR relationship.

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    You have been taken for granted. You're either attracted to drama or deeply in love with her. Get busy with other things and get over her. Someone else will be much more appreciative of having you around one day.

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    here's where the problem lies aswell

    i realized after we "broke up" that I have been taking her for granted... and she acknowledged that aswell...

    its wierd because i see every single thing i did wrong, AFTER we broke up.. i just wish she could use a little common sense and give it another try ...

    ERGH !

  13. #38
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    its wierd because i see every single thing i did wrong, AFTER we broke up.. i just wish she could use a little common sense and give it another try ...

    ERGH !
    How about you just use a little common sense and realize that SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU?

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Grrr men annoy me so much sometimes. How many times does she have to say "stop pushing me" for you to understand?? When someone says "stop pushing me" or "leave me alone" or "give me some space" that usually means exactly that. Stop pushing her. Give her some space. You are probably making it even worse. If she likes/loves you, she'll come back to you after you give her some space. If she doesn't, then you know..

    If you really are in love with her, you'd have given her her space right when she asked for it and stopped bothering her. If you really are in love with her, you'd let her be and let her figure things out for herself.

    I agree with there being too much drama in so little time. That's a lot to handle in that time frame. I think both of you need time off, get your own seperate lives in good shape and perhaps get back together if you both want that.

    Oh, and don't be annoyed with her not calling you after you text'd her telling her you got in an accident. If you wanted her to talk to you on the phone, you should have freaking called her in the first place instead of text'ing her. I know if I got in to an accident I wouldn't text the one I loved. I'd call them in a heartbeart and so would they.

    I had a serious boyfriend at 19 too. He wanted to take it to the next level and I didn't. I wasn't ready for that. I ended up breaking it off with him for numerous reasons but one was because I didn't want anything too serious. He had already planned out our lives together pretty much. That can be creepy/scary to some people especially so young.

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    I think it sounds like you had a troubled relationship to start with, then you really hurt her by breaking up with her. Then you want to just take it back? It doesn't work that way, especially if you really hurt her.

    Also, you've been in a relationship, but you still have a fuck buddy to call?? I think she probably feels just as jerked around as you do. IMO if you want her back you are gonna have to do a lot of serious groveling (and no fuck buddies).

    At 19 everything is so full of drama though you would probably be better off just cutting it off.

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    explain this one to me
    she wanted her space
    i gave it to her

    but SHE was the one who had been contacting me
    and SHE was the one who wanted to meet up all these times

    NOT ME .. except for one time this week...

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    she likes you...as a friend?

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    what kind of friends let their friends put their hands inside their undies ?

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    friends...with benefits?

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    do you guys think im doing the rigth thing by not contacting her this weekend ?
    maybe it will make her realise she cant keep on doing this shit... and to make her up and tell me once and for all if she wants to be together or not ?
    I think it is the right thing for you not to be contacting her.

    From what I have read, you need to put this one in the past.

    Think about it.

    Do you want to be in this painful emotional state all the time? Cuz the future is gonna be the same as the past brother. She is telling you right now what you can expect relationship wise, and frankly - unless you are a total creep, you deserve someone more compatible and emotionally mature.

    (Not to mention, your own emotional maturity will increase once you can recognize she is either incompatible, insane, or has her own shit to deal with right now.)

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    she doesnt believe in that kinda stuff

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    what kind of friends let their friends put their hands inside their undies ?
    The kind I want to see frequently!

    Seriously, SK, although she's 5 years younger than you, your ex-gf seems much more adept than you at playing mind games. Whether it's a matter of her immaturity, her instability, or her willingness to play on your insecurity is your call.

    In your initial post, you mentioned 2 separate altercations (involving her & her ex-bf plus her father and "some drunk punk") over a 2 week span. HTF did she get hit over the head with a bottle? That's a lot to be dealing with as you cope with the break-up, contemplate a major career change and consider her as your life partner...

    With some difficulty, I managed to tear my eyes away from hardkandee's avatar long enough to read her incisive "dog & tree" assessment, which I see as a challenge to stand your ground and stop waiting for your ex-gf to metaphorically empty her bladder...

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    no man
    not her
    HER step sister got hit on the head with a bottle ...

    i just remembered
    on one of our last convo's
    she said "you fucked this up, and you couldnt fix it"

    even though i tried doing everything i could..

    her ex isnt even in the picture...
    she hasnt been in a relationship for almost a year before me..

  24. #49
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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    If I read all this right, you do not want to give her up because you want to have sex with her. She does not want to have sex with you, but she wants to keep you around in case she wants to go out and doesn't have a boyfriend to take her.

    I don't see much future for your relationship. Don't completely burn your bridges, but start looking elsewhere.

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    Default Re: another relationship problem (plese advise)

    Quote Originally Posted by SteveK View Post
    i just remembered
    on one of our last convo's
    she said "you fucked this up, and you couldnt fix it"
    From what I remember of my early twenties, there's no substitute for hot sex & major drama. However, you may be paying for the sins of boyfriends past, and she doesn't seem eager to forgive your present "mistakes"...

    Can you forgive this woman for failing to live up to your expectations? If so, you'll allow yourself the space you need to leave, heal and grow...

    "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
    - Mohandas Gandhi

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