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Thread: How long would you wait for sex?

  1. #26
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    If we're talking serious long term relationship potential and not casual dating, however long it takes. It'll come when the time is right for both.
    So, if you've been out on three dates. One each weekend for the last three weeks is that more "casual" or "serious".?

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Poor poor Mr. Hand. Nobody ever feels he is worth waiting for, or building a connection with first.
    My hand and I have a very strong bond

  3. #28
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    So, if you've been out on three dates. One each weekend for the last three weeks is that more "casual" or "serious".?
    Depends. Have you too kissed much? Made out, he really is into you, and you him? Date time does not matter much imo...it's what happens on those dates, how you both feel.

    If you and he want LTR, it's gotta be love first. Or that attraction that confuses everything with love...lol. You will know

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    So, if you've been out on three dates. One each weekend for the last three weeks is that more "casual" or "serious".?
    Well there is no absolute benchmark number which separates casual from serious. Everyone has their own sliding scale based upon their own attitudes, beliefs, personality and current situation in life so I can only speak for myself. You may have only seen each other three times in three weeks but I assume there have been other forms of contact in that same time period (i.e., phone, email, etc.). Within that time frame, most people would be able to determine which way they'd like to take the relationship. If I believed there is serious long term relationship potential AND I was seeking something long term, I would view the relationship as still in its early stages and would be more than happy to continue to take things slow and allow a solid base for the relationship to grow.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Pamela View Post
    Depends. Have you too kissed much? Made out, he really is into you, and you him? Date time does not matter much imo...it's what happens on those dates, how you both feel.

    If you and he want LTR, it's gotta be love first. Or that attraction that confuses everything with love...lol. You will know
    We kissed for the first time on the second date. We made out a bit last date. He is a pretty good kisser but has a long tongue, lmao. He had it almost too far down my throat last time but that's not a deal breaker for me, lol. I really like him but we haven't had the "exclusive" discussion yet. I think he likes me too. I told him I was open to seeing him this week. He called me today and wants to call me tonight to make plans. I feel really good/comfortable when I am with him. We held hands or we were touching each other in some way during our last date. He says he's looking for a LTR and I am too. But I don't know if our ideas of what a relationship should be like are consistant with one anothers. I have expectations and I am sure he does as well.

  6. #31
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    Well there is no absolute benchmark number which separates casual from serious. Everyone has their own sliding scale based upon their own attitudes, beliefs, personality and current situation in life so I can only speak for myself. You may have only seen each other three times in three weeks but I assume there have been other forms of contact in that same time period (i.e., phone, email, etc.). Within that time frame, most people would be able to determine which way they'd like to take the relationship. If I believed there is serious long term relationship potential AND I was seeking something long term, I would view the relationship as still in its early stages and would be more than happy to continue to take things slow and allow a solid base for the relationship to grow.
    Yes, there have been a couple emails, multiple text messages and a few phone conversations but not on a daily basis but three times a week we make contact via one of these methods. He making the majority of the first moves.

    Do you think it would scare him if I asked him how he felt about things by next date?

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Not at all, especially if he's already stated he's looking for a long term relationship. I would suggest you broach the subject by saying. "I think we've been getting along great. How about you?" or something along those lines. Doing so would reduce the anxiety he might experience if you straight out asked him how he felt about things without him knowing how you felt first.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    I'd wait a damned long time for someone I really wanted to be with. If it ever did become an issue, it wouldn't be due to lust but my own insecurities about whether she were truly interested in me or attracted to me.

    I guess I'm in the minority though on blue balls. I'll take a hot makeout grope session with no sex over just no sex. It's very pleasurable, and it's worth the sexual frustration. It'll make the sex better anyway, slow build up orgasm is much better than quickie orgasm.
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    I've waited 18 years and 10 months and that's the longest I will ever wait again! After my first relationship though, I waited from mid-April to the end of December. Masturbation became my friend during that period Now, because I'm in a long-distance relationship, I wait about a month.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    I have a question of curiosity. Say you meet someone you are interested in and want to continue seeing. What if they don't put out immediately? What if they want to wait to know you well before becoming sexually involved? How long would you wait?


    I think if I meet a guy like this, he is on the right thinking path.

    It is better to have a mental and emotional connection when being in a relationship. It makes it more better to be in, if you are looking for something more than just a toy.

    Besides you dont want to have sex with someone and than find out that they are a pyscho stalker
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    If you are looking for a solid long term relationship then you want a guy that is really looking for the same thing. If he feels this about you then he will enjoy your company enough to wait. If he doesn't want to wait then he is probably not the one for the long term.

    I can't give you a specific timeline, but if I enjoy someones company then I can wait quite some time. My little advice is too not over analyze it. Just go with how you feel. When you think you are ready, then wait a little longer. The wait will make that first time even better.

    Besides....I am not that kind of boy...I NEVER have sex on the first date....unless, or course...she wants to...

  12. #37
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    I have a question of curiosity. Say you meet someone you are interested in and want to continue seeing. What if they don't put out immediately? What if they want to wait to know you well before becoming sexually involved? How long would you wait?
    I'd probably start losing interest after 4 dates or 4 weeks. If the girl wasn't really cool it would be a bit sooner, if she was really cool it might be a bit longer. The exception would be if there was lots of oral sex.

    [Happy sh0t? This is basically your three date rule, with one extra date. Won't you please post pink again?]

    However, there seems to be an implicit assumption in this thread that having the sex will affect the time someone will remain interested. If I'm going to lose interest in a girl, her sleeping with me isn't going to change that. And if a girl isn't going to sleep with me for a long time, I'm probably not going to be very interested in her. That's not shallow, it's just realistic. I know what I like, why should I pretend otherwise? Not all guys are like me timeline-wise but I suspect they are mostly like me in that ultimately it's not really the sex timing that is going to determine their interest level (for a relationship of course - barring pure hookups, one night stands, etc where timing is everything).

    Oh and as far as the blue balls thing goes, I used to get them as a teenager pretty badly, but I rarely get them anymore (even when I engage in activities that would have brought them on 10 years ago). So while I can now safely engage in "makeout sessions only" without fear, I do get a bit annoyed when people claim they don't exist as I can definitely remember the physical discomfort.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    I made my ex wait a month, don't know how long I will make the next one wait. That was 10 years ago times have changed. But I'm also a rare case, I was 25 when I had sex for the first time and have only been with one woman.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by lestat1 View Post

    I guess I'm in the minority though on blue balls. I'll take a hot makeout grope session with no sex over just no sex. It's very pleasurable, and it's worth the sexual frustration. It'll make the sex better anyway, slow build up orgasm is much better than quickie orgasm.
    Uh oh.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Poor poor Mr. Hand. Nobody ever feels he is worth waiting for, or building a connection with first.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ava Jadore View Post
    Haha... God Bless Mr. Hand!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    My hand and I have a very strong bond
    IMO, the problem with Mr. Hand is that if you ride with him for too long, he might drive you straight through Carpal Tunnel into Crazytown...

  16. #41
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Yeah, with hairstyling and masturbating, not together, I've already started feeling that Carpal Tunnel.

  17. #42
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor View Post
    Maybe I AM TOO. He's never been seen, as I understand it.
    Ooohhh. That would be a cool myth to dream up. Sort of like Charlie in "Charlies Angels?" Unfortunately, it's far from true.

    In addition to SF Vegas I where I met something like 15 SWers, almost all the girls from my home club have seen me. And one of them recently described me in Picture Post; another one described me a few months before that.

    Vyanka and I ran into each other outside PEC in NYC once without even realizing who each of us was. That was kinda cool (and she is way hott.)

    And there is this rumor that Nicolina has met me. Once or twice. Not sure where anybody got that idea. Besides, she thinks the reason she can't reach me on the phone is that I'm out flying around in my superhero persona, valiantly saving strippers all over the world. You can actually hear her roll her eyes when she says this over the phone.

    [End threadjack, sorry]

    Anyway, of course there is no set time for when sex is appropriate. I have noticed in this thread that there has been a slight escalation from date one to date two, so he may expect some escalation at date three. So if it does start getting really physically steamy -- the next step in the progression -- make up your mind in advance whether you want to go there, because by your own admission it's likely to end up as a full-blown sexual encounter.

    I was about to say "end up in bed" but I realized in my case that's hardly ever where it actually starts!

    Oh, and I never write "simultaneous orgasms" in my erotica. My characters do not "make love." They do each other. In other words, they are way too busy deeply immersed in some psychotic, exhaustively sweaty erotic role-playing while doing fiendishly nasty shit to each other.

  18. #43
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    I don't feel like I know him well enough yet to do anything substantial. We talked on the phone this evening for a while. He invited me to a concert Thursday night. Being the geek I am I compiled a list of questions and sent them to him via email. He replied and told me he would elaborate more on Thursday. It's just hard to think of the questions you want to ask when you actually get together. I'm such a goof.

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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner View Post
    Oh, and I never write "simultaneous orgasms" in my erotica. My characters do not "make love." They do each other. In other words, they are way too busy deeply immersed in some psychotic, exhaustively sweaty erotic role-playing while doing fiendishly nasty shit to each other.
    Psychotic can interesting from time to time.

  20. #45
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    Default Re: How long would you wait for sex?

    I can't really imagine myself being in this situation because it would be uncommon for a guy to make me (or any female really) wait.

    I have never been one to wait to sleep with someone I am really into. That probably sounds slutty but really if someone turns me on and we are kissing and fooling around it will lead to sex most times.

    I was always told that if you sleep with a guy straight away he will leave you (the whole why buy the cow thing) that has been the opposite of true for me. I slept with both of my long term boyfriends almost straight away and was with the first for 6 years and my current one for 4 years.
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