My boyfriend and I have a nice, big historic house with a huge yard on the verge of a nice neighborhood and a bad neighborhood. It's basically half ghetto, half rich artsy people. The BF got a good deal on it, and within a few years the nice neighborhood should spill over and drown out the bad one. It's a good investment. My BF worked really hard to buy this house. It's 3 bedrooms, so we have two roommates - but we're ready to get rid of them and live alone, or get new ones.
Roommate #1: Stereotypical slacker girl. Got arrested for DUI, but drives drunk to her community service for DUI. Constantly drunk, even I'm like "Sober up, bitch". Waits tables, has no intentions of going back to school. Claims she wants to be a photographer, but she never takes pictures, scoffs at the idea of shooting weddings or other things like to build a portfolio that because she's an "artist", has no business cards, sells nothing. Never does her dishes. Her teeth are slowly becoming green. She cooks awful smelly things and stinks up the kitchen for days. We have a big backyard, and one day she got the bright idea to have a "fire pit", so she dug a hole in the yard by the trees (during a drought) and in view of the neighbors. She's burned half of my boyfriend's firewood (that he chopped like a damn hot lumberjack himself out of a giant log when he chopped down a tree in the backyard) and hasn't replaced it. Firewood is EXPENSIVE. So we have no firewood and a burn hole in the yard.
Roommate #2: Spoiled rich Jewish college boy who doesn't work and whose doctor parents pay all his bills. He's 23 and his rent checks (always a week late) are from his parents! He constantly talks shit about how crappy and ghetto the neighboorhood is, and it pisses me off SO MUCH. His car got broken into by a bum because he left tons of stuff out on his car seat, like an iPod, and blames it on the neighborhood - but he has yet to clean out his car and has taken over MY parking spot in the driveway by the house. If you don't like the house, move the fuck out and pay high rent in a different part of town. My boyfriend has a good job and worked really hard to buy this place, and it's offensive to trash talk our very nice home. He's always talking about this girl he banged and how drunk he was last night. I hear him talk on the phone about some "bitch" he fucked, but he can't take her seriously because she's not Jewish. He always brings over his jewfro posse, and there's this one guy who plays the guitar badly and loudly the whole time he's over. I want to throttle him.
So, our roommates got drunk and fucked and now life is REALLY awkward for all of us. He brought some girl around to make roomie #1 jealous after the fact.
I just snapped at the guy for shit talking the neighborhood. I can barely stand the girl because she is so pretentious. She acts like she's so intelligent and cultured and she's just an Armchair Philosopher.
UGH! I hate these two.



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