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Thread: A Two-edged Sword

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    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default A Two-edged Sword

    There is lack of moral courage in me. At times, especially when I feel I am being judged, I think the best course for me to follow is to spit a wounding venom on that soul, and then to stomp the emotional life out of that spirit. I've done such a thing before but hated the result. In fact, I'm haunted by the remembrance of the damage. But I've found that recalling that moment in time is ruling my intellect. I've turned into such a wuss that I allow all kinds of "gallery tomatoes" to smack me in the face without even a whimper of a reply and now I question my own wisdom. I'm setting my patience on a shorter leash for a time.

    Has anyone else here been dealing with this dilemma? I would appreciate any comments.

  2. #2
    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    Just to make sure I understand what you're saying, are you talking about passive aggression?


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    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    I might suggest taking the other path. Buy a book on Zen.

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    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    SundayMorning: I'm not able to say that the term "passive aggression" describes the inner turmoil in me that arises out of taking shit off people versus returning a stinging barrage. I really do protect against any onslaught with family and friends and I guess that is because everyone I know comes to recognize who I am as a person. However, an anxiety is born in me when people think they recognize the driving forces in me and come needling with their mosquito beaks. This will be a temporary turmoil but I thank you for asking for the point of clarification.

    CE, a tide washed me from my zen path long ago and now I find myself on this island. It's a sunny place sometimes and dreary at others and only once in a while does a coconut drop on my head.
    Last edited by Ferret; 11-19-2007 at 09:52 AM. Reason: cause one sentence sucked

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    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    huh?.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

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    God/dess SundayMorning's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    Yeah Ferret, I'm sorry, I'm usually quite the word slut but I really have no idea what you're talking about. Perhaps you could give some examples to break it down in layman's terms? More user friendly?


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    Veteran Member Ferret's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Two-edged Sword

    To SundayMorning:


    Specifics; I suck at giving details but an example is in order.
    My brother dresses in effeminent clothes on occassion and he requested that I go to the mall with him when he was in that mood. And I did go. I went to the mall with him as a show of support of who he is as a person.

    The experience was very difficult for me for reasons of stares, and mumbled remarks, remarks that were meant to be overheard and just seeing him fend off all the negative as best he could. There were no out right confrontations but I wanted to tear into every person that gave us that holier-than-thou and not-as-evil-as-you look.

    There are other occassions for different reasons in different settings that I feel badly for not having the moral courage just speak out and say, "who are you to judge?"; to say that and a whole lot more.

    I've bridled myself tightly for a long time now and I'm beginning to loosen the reins. The question remains, is anyone else dealing with this problem thinking you have put up with judgements for too long?

    I made a poor choice for title of this thread since it deals more with moral courage.

    Anyway, there you have it. I hope this explanation adds some clarity.

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