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Thread: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

  1. #1
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    So, I went out on my last date with the guy I mentioned a few times on here Thursday night. I asked him if he was still on match and he said he was and I asked him if he was still looking and he said he was. He said he had seen others and probably would continue to do so. He said his theory was if he dated multiple women he would have something to "compare" them to and know for sure whether or not he wanted to pursue a LTR with them or not. He said at his age, 44, he doesn't have much time. Okay, that's BULLSHIT in my opinion. He wanted me to make out with him and even had the guts to ask me to stay with him. I told him no. The next day I told him I wasn't going to see him anymore. I don't want to be "compared" with someone else for him to figure out whether I'm right for him or not.

    So, then my ex boyfriend calls and wants to come see me in the middle of the night, WTF!!! I mean, do I look like I need to get laid? Do I look like I have trouble in that department, c'mon.

    So, today I was just looking back through match and men on there were talking about how they'd like to meet a wild woman and on plentyoffish.com men said if they didn't get laid by the third date they were out of the picture.

    I'll admit to having one night stands and fuck buddy sorts of relationships before but that's not what I want now. Those relationships didn't work out for me and I got too emotional. I don't want to do that again. My ex hubby and I dated four months before we had sex. He waited. WTF is wrong these days, are times changing that much? Hell, I'll just stay single before I become someone's fucking whore, geezzz.....

  2. #2
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    I said it before, and I'll say it again: Online dating sites are ideal for meeting people for hookups and socializing, not so good for long-term exclusive relationships.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor View Post
    I said it before, and I'll say it again: Online dating sites are ideal for meeting people for hookups and socializing, not so good for long-term exclusive relationships.
    Do you have ideas then on how to meet potential dates? I mean I go to cosmetology school with all women and a few gay men. Maybe once I get down in the salon part of school I will see more straight men around then.

  4. #4
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Do you have ideas then on how to meet potential dates? I mean I go to cosmetology school with all women and a few gay men. Maybe once I get down in the salon part of school I will see more straight men around then.
    Among the places to meet people:

    Book stores
    Movie theaters
    Gyms
    Classes

    Check out meetup.com. It's not a dating site, per se, but I've found the socializing very low key and fun.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    I go to the book store in my spare time and hang out for hours. I do go to the gym three times a week as well. I go to the theatre once and while too. I don't have time for more classes right now though. Do I look unapproachable or something? Maybe I am just trying too damn hard. It'll probably happen when I am least expecting it.

  6. #6
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Do I look unapproachable or something?
    One hears this from time to time from good-looking women. "Why won't anyone talk to me!" There's an intimidation factor, sure. The other possibility, which is impossible for me to judge, is that you've got your "don't hassle me" face on. Tell me, when you go out with girlfriends, do guys approach? That may tell you something. Also, how are those encounters? Are you comfortable or not? Do the guys zero in on you or your friend?

    Why am I giving dating advice? I'm practically a priest.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    They don't then either. Maybe I just look like a bitch or something

  8. #8
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Maybe I just look like a bitch or something
    I'm sure you aren't. It's just because they can't see the inner you. So do this: Wear much tighter tops.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    How much longer do you plan to be in cosmetology school? Are you going to stay in the same area after you're done?

    I think a lot of men seem to think they just have endless options, and to a certain degree they're right, because women will put up with a lot of bullshit from men. I'm glad to see that you're calling this guy on his and not putting up with it.

    If it's any consolation, I've met a bunch of guys in the last month while out with friends and many have seemed interested, but I haven't felt a spark with any of them.

    It sucks being single sometimes, but being in a shitty relationship is worse.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    movie theaters? LOL. Pee-wee herman style.

    CE, stop giving dating advise man, you don't know shit.

    ESPECIALLY to the women or they will end up with a boring dude like you.

    I side with the guy in the OP. Why should he stop looking on match.com? You were on four dates, not married. His theory is spot-on.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  11. #11
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    CE, stop giving dating advise man, you don't know shit.

    ESPECIALLY to the women or they will end up with a boring dude like you.
    Nice to hear from you, man. Are you back on the pink side? I thought you abandoned it?

    Anyhow, as for "advise," I've tried to find that word in the dictionary and have come up short. I'll keep giving advice whenever I please, however. Thanks for your input.

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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Some threads just beg to be replied to, my willpower is only so strong.

    I'm fine with making typos and spelling errors.

    That said, my comments stand Greenid, what I say about men is quite accurate.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    See, this is why men lie; because when they tell you the truth, you get pissy and upset.

    He said his theory was if he dated multiple women he would have something to "compare" them to and know for sure whether or not he wanted to pursue a LTR with them or not. He said at his age, 44, he doesn't have much time. Okay, that's BULLSHIT in my opinion.
    You should be thanking him for his forthrightness. Why is he such a bastard because he's dating multiple women? Where is the crime in pursuing his options as they present themselves to him? Is it more acceptable among women who are holding out for a man that does more than pique their interest? What is illogical or unsavory about his approach? Did you surreptiously get married and forget to notify him of that affliction?

    So, then my ex boyfriend calls and wants to come see me in the middle of the night, WTF!!! I mean, do I look like I need to get laid? Do I look like I have trouble in that department, c'mon.
    And so your ex dialed your digits for a booty call; so what? Are only women permitted to make booty calls? You turned him down, so where's the loss here?

    So, today I was just looking back through match and men on there were talking about how they'd like to meet a wild woman and on plentyoffish.com men said if they didn't get laid by the third date they were out of the picture.
    And so because they knew what they wanted and were pursuing that goal with all due haste, they're bastards? How is that different than you saying:

    I'll admit to having one night stands and fuck buddy sorts of relationships before but that's not what I want now. Those relationships didn't work out for me and I got too emotional. I don't want to do that again.
    You've stated what you are willing and not willing to do. So are they. Where is the problem here?

    Just because your goals aren't aligned with theirs, that doesn't invalidate their motivation.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    I wish I could tell you what is up with guys these days. I met my wife in a chat room on AOL almost 12 years ago. Of course since then it seems like the Internet has turned into a place for NSA sex, for 95% of men. I think that friend of friend is some time the best place to me someone new. But you are so right is saying that it will come alone when you are least expecting it
    You Cant Quit until you try, You cant live until you die, You Cant learn to tell the truth until you learn to lie.You Cant Breath Until you choke,You gotta Laugh When your the Joke, Theres Nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive! Will you swear on your life, that no one will cry at my Funeral!
    Quote Originally Posted by cameron_keys View Post
    Yes please save me from this life of debauchery! You can all kneel down and worship at the Church of the Holy Clitoris to convince me!!

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    I said in LO, and I'll say it again. The difference between men and women (generally speaking) is that men date for fun, but women date for LTR. When YOU start dating for fun, and really enjoying men (which most women in gen. pop. do not do), I think your dating experiences will change considerably. Men are very fun and entertaining, but you mustn't take them seriously. Just try to have some genuine fun, and see what happens from there.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
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    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
    See, this is why men lie; because when they tell you the truth, you get pissy and upset.

    You should be thanking him for his forthrightness.
    I think you are 100% right, CO.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

  17. #17
    stellaforstars
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    ^^In response to Sh0t:

    I feel comfortable speaking for most women when I say, "Ugh."

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    At the risk of fueling a flame war, I've found CE to be fascinating and fun to hang with--you not so much Mr. Buttinsky!

    I think francesca is dead right! Thank god for the honest horndogs. You can steer clear or get some without a bunch of b.s.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  19. #19
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    I've found CE to be fascinating and fun to hang with
    Wait, what? Me? Fascinating and fun. Optimist, I'm mighty tempted to update my siggy with the above direct quote.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Go right ahead, babydoll!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    A lot of women are what I call "professional daters" and date for the free dinners and free entertainment. Sex occassionally.

    I make sure to call those women after 11:30pm.

    If you guys have never experienced the thrill of being the booty call after another guy has spent a few bills taking a chick to dinner and night entertainment, I highly recommend it.

    Imagine how Greenid's dates would be if they devoted themselves to her during their dating period and then at the end of 10 dates(as recommended here several times), Green decided she didn't like the guy enough to have sex with. That could be almost ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS the guy is lighter if they had an average of 100 dollars spent a date(dinner for two plus movie to two can easily be 100 bucks).

    Dating is a terrible way to get laid, i tell ya.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist View Post
    At the risk of fueling a flame war, I've found CE to be fascinating and fun to hang with--you not so much Mr. Buttinsky!
    Totally irrelevent unless sex was involved.

    Men date and "hang out" for sex.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t View Post
    A lot of women are what I call "professional daters" and date for the free dinners and free entertainment. Sex occassionally.

    I make sure to call those women after 11:30pm.
    And they let you fuck? Ew.
    "I came in like a lamb, but I intend to leave like a lion."

    -Sade
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    The only thing a person hates more than being a sex object, is NOT being a sex object.
    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    If you should your way through life you'll be should-ing all over yourself later.
    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Finger pointing is awesome!! No really, it gets things done.

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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    You would be amazed. In fact, my reputation for being how i am makes it far more likely because women know I will NOT get attached and want a relationship.

    The number one reason why most guys don't get laid as much as they want is because women fear they will be clingy after sex.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF is it with the men these days!!! Rant

    i have to agree with CO and partly with sh0t. i don't see the problem with the guy honestly answering your question.

    i've seen some of your (green) posts on this and i didn't think the relationship was necessarily exclusive yet. was it implied? maybe. hence i'm only partly agreeing with sh0t.

    we all must be aware of double-standards. they apply to both sexes.

    btw, i also agree with ce's assessment of online dating. there are exceptions of course but cyberspace isn't "real". people might be truthful but that's not the majority. jmo

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