my dad called last night. nanny's kidneys look like they are starting to fail. they are keeping her on high doses of morphine to control the pain.
we were going to drive down, straight though (about a 30 hour drive), but they aren't sure there would be enough time. so dad is flying out today to get there asap.
so now, i can't go see her and i probably can't go to the funeral because airfare is so expensive around the holidays and i'd have to bring my kids down too since there is no one to watch them for a week up here.
stupid fuckin cancer. i just don't get it. i don't understand WHY she didn't stop smoking after grandad died of lung cancer. so she gets throat cancer...and still my aunt (who lives next door) is still smoking. WHY!? sorry for the rant, but i don't understand why people do this to themselves. if you smoke, unless you die from some freak accident, you will probably die from some horrible smoking related death....emphysema, bronchitis, pneumonia, and SO many forms of cancer. why would you do that to yourself? you literally suffocate to death with most of them, even drowing in your own lung fluid! you KNOW there are mass fuckin amounts of chemicals in them, i mean, seriously! formaldyhide, acetone, co...good god. grrr.
i guess seeing so many people be killed by them, it's just really started to piss me off. and also makes me very sad. i hate seeing people purposely hurt themselves.
sorry guys, i'm just upset right now. i love my nanny. i miss her. she's a spunky, foul mouthed woman and i love her for that. she raised 4 crazy ass, tattooed, harley ridin kids pretty much all on her own on a nursing home laundry washer salary. i miss when i was a kid and we'd have a crawfish boil, all sittin on nanny's screened in porch, swinging on the porch swing and her yelling at us that she's gonna "get the switch and tan our ass" if we break it! lol she never did "get the switch" (the "switch" would be a small branch off the tree, lol) she made the BEST fried chicken you have ever tasted. catfish too, i remember her getting a big paper bag and putting the breading for the catfish in it, that usually my dad or or one of my uncles just caught, and letting me shake the bag...so here's me this scrawny little blonde haired girl (the "black sheep" perse since that side of the family all took after the Indian heritage) with the big ol brown grocery bag shakin the hell out of that catfish! haha. she made a mean fried tomato too.
we were always on the porch or in the front yard. we didn't have a lot of money, but we had fun.
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