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Thread: Conversation Starters

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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Conversation Starters

    I was talking to a guy at work this week who told me he hates when girls ask him what he does for a living or if he's ever been to our club. He said it was annoying because he felt like his income was being assessed. I hadn't ever thought of this, but it does from his perspective make sense. My club, however is confusing in that it has 4 different vip rooms that get kind of complicated, knowing if someone has been there before can help. Also we are pretty regular based, so there's a little more conversation involved than some other clubs.

    What I'm wondering is if asking someone what they do for a living is not a good idea? I like to ask it because on the slower nights it really can help you learn a lot about someone and open the conversation up to more intimate topics. I understand though that on the weekends when it's busier asking such questions are probably not needed in that it's a quicker more playful conversation.

    So I hope what I'm saying makes sense (I already tried to post this once and had a problem so this rewrite is a little less detailed ) I' love some opinions on this. Also, if asking what someone does for a living is in bad taste what are some other things you can ask to get to know someone that is toned down from the conversations that occur on the weekends? I think I've at times forgotten to consier how the guys perceive things and would really like to make a better effort to keep that in mind.
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    God/dess Taylorlila's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I rarely ever ask guys what they do unless we've been talking for a while or are up in the champagne room for an hour. There are tons of other things you can talk about anyway, you wanna take his mind off work .


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  3. #3
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I dunno. I mean alot of guys like to talk about their work. If he's smart he will lie!

    I have said "well you know what i do, *smile* so what do you do"? It seems to work fine. But this is after talking for 5 minutes and seeing if he is an open person to conversation.

    It's a tough area at times.

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I've never asked a guy what he does for a living. I think it is because I feel like we are in this fantasy good-time world where I don't want him to think about work or his family. So I don't ask ask if he has kids or anything real world like that.

    I guess I usually am flirty and make spins on the usual questions like instead of "have you been to this club before?" I'll ask, "So, is this your first time in a strip club?" or I'll ask some conversation-y type one like, "Okay, I need your opinion. I can't decide if I should work the night after Thanksgiving? Do you think it'll be busy?" or, "Have you ever been to Mexico? I'm thinking of checking it out..." you know, just bar talk, but fun. Questions where they can hear themselves talk .
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    ^ and I am not talking about after you've been sitting there a while, I will literally plop down and act like we are buddies (of course if I have the right vibe from him).
    I'm confused, but the Chewbacca Truffle Shuffle cleared it up. - Emily

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    My standard conversation starter goes as follows:

    Me: Hi, I'm Morgan! (extend my hand so he can shake it)
    Him: I'm Bob.
    Me: Where are you from, Bob? (always repeat the name... Sometimes I'll say, "So where ya from?" with a Texas accent)
    Him: From California.
    Me: (shocked look) Well what are you doing here in Amarillo?

    or

    Him: Oh, I'm from here.
    Me: Born and raised?
    Him: Yep.
    Me: So what do you do here in Amarillo?

    Instead of saying, "What do you do for a living?" just ask "What do you do?" That way if they don't want to talk about their work, they'll tell you about how they play the guitar or go to school or whatever.

    FYI, my opening questions are "Where are you from?" and "What do you do?"

    Also, try to learn about what guys from your club are into. Details make it believable.

    For example, I HATE the Dallas Cowboys, but I can talk excitedly and animatedly about the Cowboys/Redskins game last week and how worried I was during those last few minutes because it was so close, but I'm happy that we still won, and after all, "Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear weapons!"

    Or, if I have a cattleman (we get a lot of those), I'll tell them how I used to work cattle for my daddy when I was growing up, and when they ask me if I used to do castration and branding, I tell them the "Hot Shot" story. "When I was about 5 or 6, my dad and his buddies built a small roping arena on a section of his land, and they'd get together every Monday night to rope. It was my job to catch the cattle and run them up the return chute, and I got to use one of those Hot Shots on them. Well I finally got kind of curious about it, so I kind of... um... well, I decided to try it out. On my daddy. And after that he never let me have the Hot Shot again. (sad face) So when it came time to brand, he never let me touch the branding iron. He said, 'Not after the Hot Shot incident!'"

    If I know they listen to punk rock music, I'll mention a few of my "favorite" punk bands (granted, they're the only ones I know!) and talk about some of my "favorite" songs.

    If they're wearing a hunting shirt, I'll approach them and tell them how much I love the shirt, and then we'll trade hunting tales (kind of like fish stories, but with deer--half my stories are made up).

    It's all about making them think you're interesting and fun, and the number one way to do that is to feign an interest in what they're interested in.

    I hope that helps.

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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I don't mind girls asking me what I do, but I choose not to talk about it and if they leave it at that fine, but if they are persistent I get annoyed.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    a lot of the time, i only ask a guy what he does if he's trying to negotiate prices. i won't walk away immedietly, i ask what he does and if it's ok for me to come to his job and negotiate with him.

    it depends on the guy though, i think. if theyre from out of town, i might ask if they're here on business or something. or if the conversation just seems like its going that way i ask.

  9. #9
    Senior Member HuxandKisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Quote Originally Posted by Taylorlila View Post
    I rarely ever ask guys what they do unless we've been talking for a while or are up in the champagne room for an hour. There are tons of other things you can talk about anyway, you wanna take his mind off work .
    and Holiday said "I've never asked a guy what he does for a living. I think it is because I feel like we are in this fantasy good-time world where I don't want him to think about work or his family. So I don't ask ask if he has kids or anything real world like that."

    I agree with these. and I NEVER bring up kids, it's a mood kill,

    and I like the challenge of asking them oddball questions. It throws them off. I asked a guy the other night if he had pets (after saying hi how are you and all that shiz-nit) lol he thought it was interesting and different and we got our shimmy on soon after.
    ~Love From Alexis

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    Member MysteriousMystery's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Morgan- awesome tips!

    Hux- too true on the kid thing.. last time i asked someone if they had kids, they started crying right there at the bar!! DAMMIT! staying away from that one for sure!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]SexxyBrasil


  11. #11
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I ask guys their name, where they're from, what brings them to the area, what brings them out tonight, etc. I honestly do not have time to ask more than that, as I want to sell a dance. I save more extensive conversations for VIP rooms. But I work in a faster-paced busy club.

    I always qualify the "so what do you?" question with "if it's okay to ask" They usually say, no, that's fine... I'm a lawyer, teacher etc etc. Every once in a while they say "So why wouldn't that be okay to ask?" And I tell them the honest truth--because I don't want them to feel like I was fishing to see if they were a whale or not. They ALWAYS appreciate the politeness and honesty.

    You did mention that your club is a little slower-paced, regulars-based... I worked in a club like that. Think of the latest big thing that happened in your life and bring it up. You got a new dog, what you did on the latest holiday, that you got a flat tire, etc etc. Use that to ask if they have pets, did they have a good thanksgiving, where do they go when they get their tires fixed... etc. Really though, I hated this slow-paced conversation-based hustle. Make sure YOU set the pace of the conversation, and don't be afraid to pop the dance suggestion or just flat out mention VIP no matter WHERE you are in the conversation. Cause hell, in clubs like this they're just trained to sit there and talk, and if you're not careful, over time, the customers will train YOU and you'll be broke. Don't start caring about building rapport and making good convo before you close the fuckers. Get them in a room. Close. Close. Close.
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  12. #12
    buffie06
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    I only ask where he works if he mentions work specifically, b/c I feel like he wants to talk about it. There are plenty of other ways to find out if he has money, and some of my best paying customers didn't have the best jobs (so the job isn't always a true indicator of how much they have, especially since anyone can lie and say they are a lawyer or in finance or whatever). To start a concersation I try to act like they are already my friend and remind myself that they desire me and it helps me to just be able to talk to them about anything and be less self conscious if there is silence or anything.

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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    After paying attention to the last couple of times I worked I realize, like some of you guys mentioned, that I only tend to do it when it seems the conversation is heading that way. As far as I can tell I'm not pissing anyone off yet. I think the girl the guy was originally mentioning is a newer girl so maybe she mentioned the questioned awkwardly or prematurely.

    I do like Pamela's suggestions of saying well you already know what I do - what do you do? Very cute

    Thanks paintgoddess for your comments You're right in that with a regular based club it can be hard to fall into that trap of talking too much. I do need to remember to try to be creative in my conversations so that they can lead into dances. It can be hard because I hear so many customers talking badly about certain girls who ask the dance question too quickly or are assertive about hustling. It's hard not to try to please everyone or try to avoid getting a "hustler" reputation with the customers! I'm definately inspired though to change up my converations and see what kind of results I get.
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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    i never ask them what they do. too many of them think it's "income fishing". either that or (if they're local) they have some weird fear i might "out them" if i know who they are.

    the closest i get to asking what they do is saying "do you enjoy your job?" or "do you like what you do?" and i only say that if work comes up in a general way. like, if they are traveling for business or if they say they just got off work.

    and i try to twist the conversation in a positive direction no matter what the answer is.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Yeah, I don't ask about work unless they bring it up. I ask people what they were up to all day and often the answer is "work"...if they feel like it, they then have an opening to talk about their job. If they don't say anything more, they don't feel like talking about it, so I move to how relaxing a dance will be after working all day.

    Sometimes I like to ask people if they have pets, and what kind of music they like. It's not really what you talk about as much as HOW you talk...you can build all kinds of rapport talking about the dumbest shit, as long as you are smiling, making eye contact, asking questions, and using body language that says you are into them.

  16. #16
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    It's all about making them think you're interesting and fun, and the number one way to do that is to feign an interest in what they're interested in.
    So true. It's even mentioned in the book "how to win friends and influence people"

  17. #17
    Featured Member Brooke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Asking about jobs can be regionally acceptable or not.

    When I lived in DC, its the first thing people talk about... not in the sense of fishing about their income, I mean everyone everywhere. People are really into their jobs and happy to tell you what they do. Its the typical conversation starter.

    Moved to TX and it's different. People rarely talk about their jobs outside of work and I only know what my closest friends do for a living. Some people here think it is rude to ask a person what they do.

    Other conversation starters:
    - "So what do you do for fun?"
    - Sports
    - Current events

    But the best has already been mentioned. Take your cues from what they talk about. Ask questions predicated on the last thing they told you. It shows that you are listening and that you are interested - and being interested in them makes you more interesting to them.

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    Senior Member HuxandKisses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    It's not really what you talk about as much as HOW you talk...you can build all kinds of rapport talking about the dumbest shit, as long as you are smiling, making eye contact, asking questions, and using body language that says you are into them.
    That is good advice!

    The housemoma where I work used to dance, and she has this crazy talent for turning EVERY thing someone says, into funny, witty and / or sexy flirtatious comments. It's pretty dam funny how some people are so fast with that shit. I try...
    ~Love From Alexis

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    Featured Member MinahSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Maybe it's just me, but I don't start conversations with "what do you do for a living". In fact, I don't ask. I start with ..."Hi, I'm MinahSky, what's your name?". I've already sussed him out and have secondary questions ready. I compliment his suit, hair, watch, etc. This isn't about you, it's about him. If the guy puts his Lexus keychain on the table, I make sure I gush about it like Lexus is my fave car and have him tell me all about it. If he has a great suit on, I ask him where he got it and pretend I have a brother I want to buy a suit for.

    Read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I can't stress that enough. Heck, google it before you go to work, print out some of the major points and stick them in your purse at work. Over time you will remember to do them all the time.
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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    LOL! I don't start the conversation off with "hey what do you do for a living?" It typically comes up after intros and what not. when i danced in hawaii and texas it wasn't such a major question, but I have to agree with what another girl said... this area (dc/bmore) is a bit centered on work and what people do more than others.

    i'm totally going to check out that book though....maybe i'll get it on audio so i can listen to it in my car instead of waiting till xmas break to read it.


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    Veteran Member CallMeSky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    Last night I asked someone if he had a dog, becouse I was getting one for Christmas and he said it was such a nice change of pace from the typical questions and he ended up getting a vip.
    The next guy I asked what his Christmas plans were, and he got a 1/2 hour vip!
    I'm going to continue mixing it up a bit becouse it's working - and last night was my best night in 6 years!!!


    Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    I tried looking up "How to win friends and influence people" on half.com and there seem to be several slightly different versions listed. Any advice on the best one?
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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Conversation Starters

    ^totally agree, great book, what are your options?

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